


Dogs

by bizzylizzy



Category: Naruto
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-10 16:13:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 90,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12302829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bizzylizzy/pseuds/bizzylizzy
Summary: There were the Uchiha.There were the Dogs: those Uchiha of disreputable age and intent under constant scrutiny of ANBU.And then there were Itachi and Shisui.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly this is mostly a writing exercise as I try to remember how to write again, please expect a lot of canon inaccuracies. Feel free to point them out to me if you see them, but keep in mind I may choose to continue being inaccurate as I think it fits.

Sakura’s most vivid memory of Sasuke was when he stood up in front of the entire class and recited his report on the Uchiha Rebellion. Most specifically, Sasuke covered the Night of Tears, where the treacherous clan was executed. Kana and Hiroshi had other parts of the Rebellion they gave reports on, but Sasuke’s analytical delivery of the night the Uchiha clan was put to death for conspiring against Konoha stayed with Sakura most vividly. 

There were Uchiha about Sakura’s age who hadn’t been killed. They were young enough to have not been involved, and Konoha had mercifully taken them in. They had new families, and none of them had the last name Uchiha. Still, everyone knew which kids were Uchiha. They all had the same dark haired, pale faced look. There was something about their eyes that screamed Uchiha, even before they displayed the Sharingan.

The Night of Tears, Sasuke had said, was a cleansing. It was a rebirth for Konoha, and a necessary sacrifice to keep the village strong. He gave the figures of the body counts, but not the spared. No one really knew how many Uchiha there actually were. There were about five in the Academy, and a couple more gennin and chuunin. Sasuke had been only weeks old on the Night, by Sakura’s reckoning, so he was the youngest Uchiha. Kana and Hiroshi were only months older than Sasuke was, and Sakura knew there was one Uchiha who was at least sixteen now, only four at the cleansing.

That wasn’t to say children hadn’t been killed. Parents, knowing there was a cleansing, had murdered their own children. When Sasuke mentioned them, he simply read a number and said they were children killed by their parents, rather than surrendering them to Konoha. Of course, with the oldest not-really-Uchiha being sixteen now, four at the time of the Night of Tears, there were other children, old enough to remember their parents and their clan and already indoctrinated, but still young. They hadn’t died.

They had become Dogs.

Sasuke was a most diligent student. He and Sakura battled for top marks, but he routinely beat her in the field training. Sasuke had a fevered drive and devotion that left no room for friends. He and his distant cousins never spoke, though they were all just as driven and despised him for his better scores. He didn’t _play_ with the other children, even when they had first started the Academy and their teachers had encouraged their childish sparring and games.

The only thing that mattered to Sasuke was being the best shinobi he could be. 

“Once you get the Sharingan, you’ll be able to beat us all, right?” Kiba had said one day. The statement was careless, as no one acknowledged the Uchiha’s status as Uchiha or talked about the Sharingan they would inevitably develop.

Sakura expected Sasuke to ignore the statement, since it was rude and Sasuke ignored many things he didn’t want to deal with.

“No. I don’t want the Sharingan.” Sasuke said it firmly. Crisp and matter-of-fact as he kept wrapping his wrists for sparring. 

“Why not?” Sakura was shocked to hear the words from her own mouth.

“Why would I?” Sasuke returned her question. Sasuke didn’t answer personal questions about his life or anything. If you weren’t here to discuss training techniques or jutsu or anything like that, he found somewhere else to be. Sakura felt rather flushed and grateful for the response, even if it was supposed to be rude. She knew that, but she got it too.

Who would want undeniable proof they were exactly what they hated most?  
~  
There was a Dog who lived in Sakura’s neighborhood.

She had always heard whispers about that, but then one day she saw a curly haired man out shopping and watched how everyone avoided him. He wore his uniform pristinely correct, even as he shopped for soaps. It had seemed a little strange at the time, and Sakura had stood staring at the man until he turned and smiled at her. He had a nice smile, wide and carefully friendly and warm. Sakura had smiled back without thinking before he moth grabbed her arm and drew her away, scolding her for staring.

“Don’t you know what he was?” She hissed.

Sakura saw the Dog periodically. After starting the Academy and meeting the other Uchiha, she tried to find similarities between them. His hair was more brown than black, rich and red undertones rather than the blue-black of Sasuke’s. His face seemed less delicate, and his nose was crooked. It had been broken, Sakura later realized, and no one had set it correctly. 

She silently mapped out the Dog’s patterns, passing by the shops he visited on the way home and to the Academy. The longer she was in the Academy, the more she noticed about him. He smiled at everyone. He moved slowly and carefully. He always let other people go ahead of him in any line. If a shop was crowded, he would not go in but would return later when it was not so full. He did not browse often, but came in, grabbed what he had obviously determined he needed, and left. If he lingered, it was over soap or cosmetics, oddly enough, and Sakura had seen him actually slip a pretty but inexpensive barrette into his pocket once.

A few times over the years Sakura saw ANBU silently approach the Dog. The first time she was conveniently buying new hair bands and froze when she saw what was happening. It was less a desire to eavesdrop, and more a desire not to move. She knew the ANBU had seen her, but the woman didn’t care.

“Why are you here?” The ANBU said as she stood too close to the Dog. He smiled. Sakura knew that without seeing his face.

“Because Itachi doesn’t shop, and we’re completely out of food,” The Dog replied smoothly. 

“Did you get permission to shop here?” The ANBU went on.

“I did not know we needed permission to enter businesses now.” The Dog said lowly.

“Your presence is a deterrent to anyone else to come into this place. You should be more considerate,” The ANBU seemed to just be heckling the man.

“Most businesses put out a sign if they don’t want Uchiha patronage,” The Dog went on. “Did you receive a complaint?”

The calm, patient logic of the Dog seemed reasonable to Sakura. No one liked that he was here, but like her, they had all accepted that he must shop somewhere. He didn’t really bother anyone, and he left as soon as he was done. There was an odd sense of acceptance in the community for “their Dog” who was well mannered and deferential. Sakura wondered if she should step out and say something, but she was more frightened of the ANBU than of the Dog.

“Don’t play your mind games with me, Uchiha. I know where you live and this is far from there.” The Dog had stepped back against the shelving, and the ANBU was almost chest to chest with them, pale mask close to his face. “Who are you meeting here?”

The Dog had lost his smile, but stayed impassive. “All the businesses near where I live, as I said, clearly make the preference to not serve Uchiha abundantly clear with signs.” Shisui made a slow hand motion to indicate the building. “This--”

The Dog’s hand was suddenly pinned to the shelving. He did not cry out. He did not flinch. 

“Watch. Yourself.” The words were cold and clipped.

“Would you like to shop somewhere else, honorable ANBU?” The Dog asked, completely serious. Sakura expected him to threaten the ANBU. Most of the ninja she knew would have.

“No.” The ANBU ripped the kunai out of the man’s hand in a way Sakura knew would cause more damage than necessary. “I’m lodging two offenses against you. You’re outside your range, and you were insubordinate.” The Dog did not reply to that, and the ANBU, quicker than Sakura could see, knocked the Dog’s basket of groceries from his hand and to the ground. The ANBU took two quick steps and then vanished.

The dog stayed leaned against the shelf for a good five minutes, dripping blood before he sighed and knelt to clean the mess. Before he left the store he wiped all the blood up as well.

The other altercations with ANBU went the same. They asked why the Dog was here. They baited him. Sometimes they injured him. The Dog just submitted, staying affable and servile no matter what they did or said. He did not beg. He did not grovel. He accepted their punishment with a stoic pride. Sakura found, despite knowing she shouldn’t, that she admired him.

Ino was the first person Sakura told about the Dog. Ino was both disgusted, disturbed, and intrigued. She asked if Sakura had followed the Dog back to his home, but Sakura hadn’t worked up the courage for that. For one she was very sure, being an Uchiha, the Dog was a good ninja and Sakura had just started at the Academy. Ino kept badgering, though, and Sakura gave in. Sakura made up her mind to do this so Ino wouldn’t think her a coward when she saw something that shocked her.

The Dog was with someone. 

The younger Uchiha reminded Sakura sharply of Sasuke. Now she saw that the other Uchiha looked alike because the acted alike and moved in the same way, but this Dog _looked like_ Sasuke. His hair was black-blue, face sharp and pretty. His eyes were the right dark grey, and he looked at the other Dog with bored attention. He was obviously younger, obviously a ninja in the way he stood, but he wore all black instead of a jumpsuit and flak vest. They stood close and spoke in whispers, hushed tones that seemed unbearably intimate.

The smaller one suddenly lifted his head and looked straight at her. His gaze was anything but affable. It was sharp and pointed and it grabbed her. Sakura suddenly understood a great deal more about why people were afraid of Dogs.

The older Dog poked the young one. “Ne, don’t stare, Itachi.” He whispered, not harshly, but mostly amused. The young one, Itachi, looked back to the older and then back to Sakura. She hadn’t moved. She probably should have run. She saw there was a barrette in the younger’s hair, holding bits back in a braid. She recognized it. She had seen that silly barrette go into the older Dog’s pocket.

“She’s staring.” Itachi said. He got another poke in the side. 

“Everyone stares at us--especially her, now pay attention. I won’t be here for two months and you’ll starve unless you shop. You can’t live on ramen and dango.” As Sakura hurried on, the older Dog looked up at her and winked. Sakura flushed.

Had Sakura not been placed on a team with Sasuke, she doubted she would have ever learned anything more about the Uchiha, but she was. When Sasuke activated his Sharingan, Kakashi informed them only another Sharingan user could train Sasuke. Sakura assumed it would be one of the older Uchiha who trained Sasuke.

It was not.


	2. 1: Children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments. C: The end of this ended up being rough and not quite what I wanted, but it did get done.

There were the Uchiha.

There were the Dogs: those Uchiha of disreputable age and intent under constant scrutiny of ANBU.

And then there were Itachi and Shisui. Itachi was, to Konoha, everything wrong with the Uchiha. He was their dangerous talents and untrustworthy minds combined in a beautifully deadly package. However, Konoha could not bring themselves to throw him away. Itachi was _useful_. Everything that made his dangerous and feared made him oh so good at what Konoha needed. Itachi was a genius of murder and destruction, and he was so _quiet_ and _discrete._ Konoha could not throw something that useful away.

But all the things that made Itachi _useful_ made him incredibly hard to threaten. 

So they threatened Shisui instead.

Normally, Uchiha were not encouraged to associate with each other. Normally, they didn’t want to either. Bad things happened to and around Uchiha, and to be near another Uchiha was to double your risks. After the purge (this so called _Night of Tears_ ), Itachi and Shisui fell together by chance. Itachi’s throat had been slit almost fatally, and Shisui’s legs had been broken. They were pushed to the same out of the way corner to avoid reminding people of how many children had been injured or killed. Shisui looked younger than his age, and honestly should have been added to the slaughter count. His father’s legacy has saved him in the aftermath. Itachi had escaped slaughter only due to a misjudged strike, and once the slaughter was over, some were hesitant just to kill such a small child in cold blood. The _murder_ of a clan that had helped found Konoha left a bad taste in the other clans’ mouths.

Shisui promised he would watch Itachi. He promised on his broken knees to keep the treacherous heir of the clan under control, and Itachi showed such promise at his tender young age that Konoha allowed it. Konoha graciously allowed a five year-old to live out his life in service to them as penance for crimes he’d never even contemplated.

Some days, it scalded the good sense off Shisui’s soul, and those days Itachi was just as much Shisui’s keeper as Shisui had ever been his. 

Being a high ranking Uchiha was a balancing act of subservience and terror. It was difficult to grovel and maintain someone’s respect, but at the same time there must be some respect. Some fear had to be allowed to grow. Shisui’s crooked nose attests to that every morning and on cold days when it ached. They were in constant danger because Konoha feared them, but they needed to be feared to stay alive. It was easier for Shisui. He was far more clever with people, and drew laughter more quickly than scorn. He danced with people’s thoughts and cheered their spirits in a basic way. He hid his knife edge until someone pushed to close and felt it knick their skin.

Itachi had more of a problem with it. He was the naked dagger laid on the table, no sheath and no handle. He was danger, and there was no hiding it from anyone more observant than a gennin. Attention instantly gravitated to him, and it was hard to keep people from getting nervous. It was difficult to make his odd and different into something not alarming or unnerving when every movement he made screamed predator and silent death.

It was difficult and painful to love a creature so close to ruin as Uchiha Itachi, but Shisui managed it anyway.  
~  
The youngest of the Uchiha were always strange to Shisui. There was this thin layer of Uchiha now fifteen to twelve year-olds. that has survived the purging. There were other Uchiha Shisui and Itachi’s ages, none now older than Shisui and only a few younger than Itachi, but they were a scattered group and maybe about seven total now. Shisui did not keep a close count, for his own safety. They were ones that had been missed in the chaos, away on missions, or judged non threatening. They were like Itachi and Shisui, tense and wary animals who were always under the most intense scrutiny. The younger subset were different. Shisui didn’t know their complete numbers, but they had escaped most of the Uchiha scorn. They hated the older group of Uchiha--the Dogs, and strove to prove themselves ruthlessly loyal to Konoha.

They were the ones Konoha threatened her older Uchiha with “see these? These shinobi would chase you until they dropped for us.” Shisui didn’t like the stares, so he avoided them. Itachi wasn’t normally allowed near small children, so their interactions with other Uchiha were limited. Their interactions with other human beings were limited. Keeping Itachi inside proved far safer than any alternative most days.

That was why Shisui was shocked when he was given orders to help with the training of a Uchiha gennin. “He’s just awakened the Sharingan and he’s having trouble controlling it.” That was all he got. That was all he knew.

“Why me?” Shisui looked at Itachi, feeling a little panicked. Itachi looked up from writing coded messages on Shisui’s cast and shrugged. Shisui was afraid the message might be pornographic.

“You’re injured, but they still want to make you worth their time.” Itachi’s tone said Shisui did not need Itachi to point this out, and he was being ridiculous for making Itachi waste air and effort on these words. All the same, because it was Shisui, Itachi would waste the effort. Itachi was graciously kind to Shisui that way.

Shisui was considered one of the less dangerous Uchiha, he knew that. He could play himself down. He could self deprecate, and make them feel better about his existence. Still. Gennin. Babies. Worse, an Uchiha baby. It made Shisui’s skin prickle. He would be attached to two Uchiha, however loosely. It seemed like a death sentence. It seemed like Konoha was giving him enough rope to finally hang himself.

“I don’t want to,” Shisui whined. “I don’t like kids.”

“What is it you’re always telling me?” Itachi asked, tapping his chin with long fingers. “Oh, yes. Bite down.” Itachi gave Shisui a level look with almost black eyes everyone called dead. They were not dead. Shisui could read the humor, the worry, the exasperation that Shisui was going to _whine_ about these things. 

There was nothing dead and lifeless about Uchiha Itachi. Everything would be much easier if that were the case.

 _Bite Down._ Shisui wondered why, at ten, why those words had come to his mouth instead of any others. It had become their mantra over the years. Bite down and ignore the rumors. Bite down and take the provocation without blinking. Bite down and laugh it off when they call you a red eyed freak or monster or soulless haunt. Bite down, and serve better than they could ever dream.

Become an untouchable monster.

Shisui sighed, because there was no way to reason that gennin were worse than anything else they did already. Or that Shisui had demanded Itachi do to survive through the years.

“Sometimes, darling, you’re mean.” Shisui mocked Itachi with endearments, but it was more like tempting fate, honestly. 

Itachi flashed the faintest corner of a smile and lifted his chipped tea mug to his face. In an after thought, he leaned over and patted Shisui’s knee in the most condescending manner possible. “There. There.” Shisui slapped Itachi’s hand away, but not before he felt the reassuring squeeze on his thigh.

Some days, Shisui never wanted to go outside again.  
~  
Shisui hated children.

He hated them because they gave him panic attacks. They reminded him of the mound of dead at the Uchiha compound. They made him think of the scar on Itachi’s throat and the way such a tiny body could struggle to live. They reminded him of mortality and Konoha’s hatred for his family.

And they were fucking annoying.

“Why are you here? Aren’t you _not_ supposed to be here?” One child demanded, in bright orange. Shisui didn’t see the student’s teacher. Hatake Kakashi, almost as monstrous as Itachi, should have been here. Shisui was very sure he shouldn’t be _alone_ with these kids. Teach one of them, maybe, but supervise? No. Fuck no.

“Actually, I am,” Shisui said, not bothering to hide his annoyance. The kid went on. How did his mouth open so wide? Was it supposed to open that far? Was he part _frog?_

“Why is your leg like that?” Orange frog-child demanded. “Didn’t the healers fix you?”

“They tried, but some fucker from Mist shattered my leg,” Shisui replied dryly. “That takes healing in a cast.” And physical therapy and pain and evidently the purgatory of gennin. “Are you always this loud?”

“Yes,” The pink girl scoffed, and then glanced at Shisui in something between fright and shame. She and the Uchiha were standing back, looking at him warily. They had a good sense of self preservation, at least. Shisui finally realized he knew the girl--or he’d seen her. She lived in the neighborhood where he usually shopped and he saw her watching him a lot. That made more sense now, since she had an Uchiha classmate. She’d be curious about him too. At least that didn’t stop her from being afraid.

“You should not be here,” The Uchiha boy said. Shisui looked at him, really looked at him, and his stomach dropped and lurched. Here was another child who should not have survived. Damn Konoha. Damn them all and fuck Shisui, because he was dead. As soon as someone realized the connections that have been made, they would murder him. And then someone would have to murder Itachi when he tried to burn Konoha to the ground.

“I’m here for you,” Shisui said calmly. “To teach you to use the Sharingan. You’re having trouble with it, aren’t you?” 

The boy, Sasuke, stood stiff. He did not want to admit weakness. Never any weakness, no. He too sought to be Konoha’s untouchable monster. The irony was sour in Shisui’s mouth.

“I don’t need your help,” Sasuke spat the words, terror hidden behind an admirable amount of hatred. “Dog.”  
~  
“Is he a bastard to you too, or is it just me?” Shisui asked dryly as Hatake Kakashi finally showed up. He was older than Shisui, a true scarecrow of a man with angles and baggy clothes. He looked slovenly in a carefully careless way, the bottom face of his face obscured as always. Shisui wanted to ask what Kakashi’s mask smelled like, or if it was worn for purely aesthetic reasons. 

The children were fighting or something. They were a dysfunctional group, Sasuke’s focus at odds with Naruto’s exuberance and Sakura caught in the middle of her scorn for Naruto and her admiration of Sasuke. The odd tension in them all grated on Shisui’s nerves. If they were any older, Shisui would say they needed to have a threesome and get over it.

“No, Sasuke-kun is always very polite.” Kakashi smiled with his eyes, as if his children were never anything but angels. “Maybe it’s something you said.”

Shisui snorted. His leg hurt. Itachi was away on a mission and the apartment was empty. This whole day made him ache in different ways and he didn’t like it. He didn’t want to trade quips with Kakashi. Had _he_ asked for Shisui? “Maybe I smell.”

“Could be,” Kakashi agreed. He paused. “Is your roommate still alive?”

“Amazingly.” Shisui glanced at the man, who watched the kids tumble. Kakashi had run missions with Itachi in ANBU. At that age, they had been equals. Kakashi had not been fond of Itachi, but he had been tolerant. That was more than Shisui could say for countless others.

“Getting better every day.” Perfecting the art of murder and ruin inside and out.

Kakashi sighed. “Well, there’s a bet I lost…” Before Shisui could properly comprehend what was being implied, Kakashi had stepped off and was walking towards the gennin, calling them by name. They swarmed him, all demanding different things. Shisui rose and followed slowly. His leg hurt. It had become a thumping agony with each heartbeat.

“Team, this is Shisui. He’s going to be training with us while his leg heals.” No last name. No honorific. Some days Shisui was surprised Konoha had not given them all a string of numbers.

“I am here to teach _Sasuke_ how to use the sharingan,” Shisui corrected. Sasuke’s glower was murderous. No one hated so hard and deep as an Uchiha.

“Ah, yes, that was it,” Kakashi smiled at the correction, but Shisui had a sinking feeling in his gut.  
-  
There was many things an Uchiha could do to warrant an “offense.” It could be anything as trivial as being too far from your registered housing or as arbitrary as an ANBU having a bad day. Punishments ranged from insubstantial threats to fines to needlessly dangerous missions. While there were rumors that an Uchiha could be executed for enough or severe enough offenses, the fact of the matter was Konoha didn’t need to do that. They simply picked a mission that would never be considered for anyone not professing a death wish and send the Uchiha on that. If they came back, there were always more missions. If they didn’t, the problem was solved.

For Shisui, he was usually heckled or punished for Itachi’s infractions. Punishing Itachi was a useless endeavor, as dangerous missions were less daunting to him than shopping for rice in a crowded market. Pain didn’t bother him and actually landing a blow on him was nigh impossible. Humiliation just seemed to roll off his expressionless face and there was always the risk that your insult, humiliation, degradation would be the final straw for Itachi. Even ANBU carried an intrinsic fear of Itachi and his ability to remain impassive in the face of almost anything. Yes, if Itachi hurt or killed them he would be punished, but if you were dead would that matter? Everyone considered Itachi a hair breadth from mass murder and carnage. Luckily those in power were more convinced of Itachi’s mental stability, but generally people who wanted to go after Itachi in less official capacities chose Shisui as their target.

Shisui would play the game by their rules. Itachi never would.

Uchiha, or Dogs anyway, had a few protections, but it went best if Shisui played pedantically by the rules. It meant he kept a “good” reputation. Which meant he was always on time to train Sasuke, but Kakashi never was. This put Shisui in the awkward position of almost but not really being in charge of these children.

Sakura and Sasuke ignored him for the most part, sensing this was awkward and dangerous and embarrassing, but Naruto had no such sense. And Naruto was slowly dragging his teammates into the no-sense game by what seemed like sheer enthusiastic noise.

Anyone could lodge a complaint against an Uchiha for any reason they could dream up. ANBU and even some jounin could arbitrarily punish an Uchiha to an extent. However, if an Dog wanted to complain about someone? Most ninja could more easily get an audience with the Hokage. Still, Shisui was persistent, and made working the systems meant to cut off his head his business to keep it from cutting off Itachi’s head. He had cultured relationships with sympathetic people, and only asked for help when he had no other choice.

He was so sure this training assignment was meant to get him killed he needed some official clarification on his duties. 

Shikaku just looked at Shisui as if he were an idiot. “So train them.”

“Excuse me?” Shisui stared, blindsided. 

“You’re there. Konoha needs shinobi. If you don’t think Kakashi is doing a decent job training them, your loyalty to Konoha would be…” Shikaku stopped and looked at Shisui.

“Supplement their lackluster training,” Shisui finished, more than disgruntled. He had no desire to do any of that, but honestly, maybe he had been hoping to hear that. He was intensely aware of who--or what--Sasuke was. He didn’t think Itachi knew his little brother had survived. Not letting Itachi know that would probably be a good idea, but Shisui couldn’t help the heavy feeling of responsibility to Sasuke.

To Shikaku, he merely smiled. “I supposed Konoha appreciates the irony in having me train one of the children who would hunt me down and kill me without a second thought.” Shikaku’s smile almost bordered on sympathetic. 

With the children, Shisui did not bother being affable. He didn’t bother being nice, because he wanted them to think he was cruel. He had no intention of being anything other than an object of hate for them. Every one of them would be safer for that.

“All right children.” Shisui used the word mockingly. “Since your esteemed instructor is more interested in jacking off that training you, I’m going to make sure you don’t embarrass Konoha at the next chuunin exams.”

“You can’t do that,” Sasuke said immediately over Naruto’s whoop of delight. 

Shisui raised his eyebrows. “Can’t I?”

Sasuke looked flustered for a moment, and Shisui realized the boy was frightened of Shisui. “You’re only supposed to train me to use my Sharingan.”

“And I will be, but I’ll be taking a more holistic approach to it. The Sharingan to more than just copying techniques.” Shisui explained. “To fully use it to its potential, you need to embrace it as part of your fighting style. You need to stop fearing it.” Sasuke didn’t flinch at that, but Sakura looked at Sasuke, and then back to Shisui.

Shisui wanted to point at her and tell her she was probably the smartest one in this team, and she needed to embrace that too. “Now, first exercise…” Shisui created three clones.

“One of these clones is rigged to explode,” Shisui smiled widely. “To the Sharingan, it’s chakra distribution will appear different from the others, and you need to neutralize it from afar while not getting injured by the other clones.” 

“Wait, aren’t you supposed to give us time to prepare?” Naruto demanded.

“You’re shinobi. You should always be prepared,” Shisui replied lightly as the first clone dashed towards Sakura, she shrieked, but she had a kunai out, and then she seemed to remember one of these clones was going to explode and dodged, trying to run. Shisui sighed as the kids dissolved into disorganized chaos and Naruto exploded the clone at point blank range before Sasuke even got his Sharingan activated.

Three more clones appeared before the gennin had even had time to realize they’d failed.

It was going to be an incredibly long afternoon.  
-  
Shisui sent the kids home at dark, lecturing them soundly for thirty minutes on their shoddy teamwork, shoddy skills, and Sasuke most of all for his awful control of the Sharingan. He’d gotten it activated only twice, and never once at will.

Shisui had taught other people to use the Sharingan. He’d taught Itachi, but for Itachi it had been a problem getting him to turn it off. That night had woken it up, and nothing could make it go back to sleep. Itachi would drain himself to collapse and Shisui would have to carry the limp body, or worse watch someone else bring Itachi in. Itachi’s constant vigilance was killing him slowly.

Now Itachi’s brother couldn’t activate his Sharingan unless he was sure he was about to die. Shisui was tired of poetic irony. 

Shisui took his time letting two clones scour the training field for all of his kunai and shuriken. They used the Sharingan in the low light, picking out the dull gleams and mentally recalling where they had landed earlier in the day. The process was almost calming, systematic as they searched in a grid pattern for anything Shisui had overlooked.

Shisui’s neck prickled before the ANBU touched down behind him. Shisui had desperately hoped it would be Itachi, back early for some reason. Itachi’s team worked quickly. They were fast and efficient and had one of the best success rates of any squad. 

Of course, it was not Itachi. Shisui’d life rarely offered up what he needed when he needed it. Shisui steeled himself mentally for the questions. Why was he here so late? Why was he here at all? This place was too nice for the likes of him. Maybe it would just be a boot in his back with no explanation. This broken leg made him so _vulnerable._ It probably could have been fixed faster, but why not reduce him to this for a while? Strip him of his speed and mobility and make him crawl for a while?

 _Bite down._ Itachi’s voice whispered in Shisui’s mind.

Shisui stood awkwardly, knee immobilized still and managed a little bow. “Good evening ANBU-san.” The ANBU remained quite, and Shisui was almost certain he knew who this was. He didn’t relax at all. He didn’t think it could be good one of Itachi’s squad was here. Shisui’s heart and chest did tight, nauseating things inside of him.

The ANBU remained completely impassive.

“I’m on my way home. Just cleaning up,” Shisui explained with soft deference. Apprehension and fear had so many flavors.

Without answering, the ANBU jumped away again. Shisui watched him leave, and then bent down to pick up the knotted bit of cord the ANBU had left. The clones came back to Shisui, and Shisui lowered himself back down, sitting as they began storing the weaponry in scrolls again.

“Some days you are far too considerate for either of our good,” Shisui muttered to himself as he examined the cord. Itachi’s squad had indeed made it back early, unharmed, triumphant heroes of the impossible yet again, but Itachi had been immediately sent back out. His knotted estimation indicated a month or more away this time, on top of the previous weeks. Shisui rubbed his face and dispersed the clones. He put the scrolls away and gathered up his crutches.

As Shisui locked and sealed the training field, another presence prickled. Shisui shuffled around and offered the key to Kakashi.

“Your team is terrible,” Shisui informed him.

Kakashi took the key, rubbing his chin. “They’re rough around the edges.”

“Rough would imply they even have an edge yet,” Shisui pointed out. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to lie down and get his weight off his leg. His entire body ached from the cast and the way it made him move. He was just tired of the pain. He just needed to sleep. That was all. He was not reaching the end of his tolerance for all the bullshit in his life. For this game he needed to play to stay alive.

Kakashi shrugged. “They’re children.” Shisui knew that. He had been calling them children the entire time. Babies he’d called them. He realized, as Kakashi’s lazy mouth pushed the word out, these were children in a way Shisui and Itachi and all the other Uchiha and shinobi Shisui had grown up with had never been. These were children who did not remember a war, and for whom even the Night of Tears was thing they didn’t remember. They were _children_.

Shisui smiled. “I guess I’m here to change that.” Before another near death disaster changed that for them. Shisui fingered the cord in his pocket. At the end of the knots Itachi had left off the knot that should signal the end of the message. It could be careless. It could be dismissive. It could be a dangerous omission.

It all felt constricting. One of those days when Shisui had very little sense left, and all too much emotion. He was the one who was losing his edge. All his carefully honed edges rounded off into blunt, jagged things meant to catch, tear and bludgeon.

“You’ll have to excuse me tomorrow,” Shisui added with a smile. “The healers want to see me, and you know how they are.” Inside joke. I am like you. I am part of your community. Your group. I am not separate. Other. Dangerous.

Kakashi watched Shisui with careful disinterest. “I know. I thought I would give you the whole afternoon today to make up for it.” Such a kindly gesture.

“Ever thoughtful, Kakashi-san.” Shisui kept smiling. “If you’ll excuse me, I have a long walk ahead of me.” Walking. Shisui didn’t wait for Kakashi’s dismissal as he swung himself around to leave. Shisui felt the knotted cord in his pocket, and he suddenly _really_ smiled. Shisui had just realized the missing end of the message was a personal rebuke to him. 

No endings. No farewells. Just the endless game they could never win, but they could always lose.

“You’re always such an awful brat," Shisui muttered, smiling still.


	3. 1.5: Interlude: Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An optional mini-chapter containing some Anko/Shisui interactions. Itachi chapter coming tomorrow or later tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of us have secrets in our lives. We’re keepers or kept from, players or played. Secrets and cockroaches — that’s what will be left at the end of it all.— _Dream Thieves_ by Maggie Stiefvater

When Itachi was away, Shisui went out to socialize more. If Itachi was home, Shisui tried not to drag him outside more than necessary, but Shisui was now craving human interaction. Kakashi and the children were not cutting it. Shisui had lasted a month because he had to deal with the gennin most mornings and that left little time for cleaning and physical therapy and paperwork, but now he was restless.

Shisui missed Itachi, and he had been downgraded to a cast he could walk in. His leg wouldn’t take the abuse of fighting, but he could put weight on his leg now and bend his knee a bit. He did not feel so vulnerable, and the weight of the empty apartment pushed on him more than the weight of his lack of mobility. The truth was even after Itachi’s message, Shisui had that claustrophobic feeling. The worse truth was the message actually made him feel lonlier.

There were few places Shisui could go and fewer where anyone would welcome him. There were a few people who didn’t care as much about him being an Uchiha. Only a handful, but a few. Shisui had lucked out in a small, run down bar meant for drowning troubles and bad habits. Here Shisui could count on at least being ignored, and sometimes there were people who would tolerate him at their table. 

“I hear you beat up children for the sadistic pleasure of their screaming,” Anko called by way of greeting as Shisui limped in the door of the old, beaten up bar. It smelled like soured drinks and various kinds of smoke. It smelled, not safe, but familiar enough Shisui savored it.

“Absolutely not. I wouldn’t want to infringe on your territory.” Shisui set a hefty tip on the bar as he went by, and the old shinobi who ran the bar just nodded as Shisui went past. Anko and Shisui were two of the only people here tonight, most of the regular clientele either dead or on missions. Shisui sighed and sat down beside Anko, taking her glass and draining it.

He regretted it instantly.

Anko watched him choke and cough and then took the glass and poured more for herself.

“Finally decide it was safe to come out of your cave again?” Anko asked.

“I’m bored and my roomie is gone,” Shisui explained. “And I’ve been around preteens all month so I need some adult companionship.”

Anko raised her eyebrows. “Adult companionship you say?” She smirked in a way Shisui found painfully attractive. 

“I did not limp all the way out here just to hit on you,” Shisui scowled back at her. “What are you drinking?”

“Something from Mist. Tastes like poison, but it’s supposed to get you drunk fast.”

Shisui bravely downed another glass, gagging as he passed it back. Sometimes, utter oblivion was nice. He hadn’t been sleeping well. He was getting the itch under his skin that made him consider things he knew were foolish. Drinking with Anko was a less foolish thing than some. Sometimes one had to pick their poison. 

Shisui had rules, but he also had limits. He knew playing these games too well was just as harmful as not playing them well enough. Shisui could not hit Itachi’s level of untouchable, so he swung lower. He aimed for fallible human with human vices and wants and poor decisions every once in awhile. Drinking and lechery were acceptable vices. Gambling would also be safe. Vandalizing ANBU headquarters would not be, nor confronting the ANBU that shadowed his every step, or demanding they give Itachi a gods damn rest before he self destructed and took them all out with him.

Shisui knocked back a third shot.

“You may have to walk me home,” Shisui admitted. He was going down fast tonight.

“Walk you _home_?” Anko raised her eyebrows, putting an arm around his shoulders. She liked to show the world she wasn’t afraid of him. First he had been some kind of proving ground for her--look, she was going to bully a Dog, and then befriend it, and later sleep with it. Now they were something close to friends, mostly because neither of them put too much stock in the other’s reputation.

“Or carry me.” Shisui leaned his head back. He leaned into Anko. She smelled like people. He could feel her heart beat. She was warm. Present. Touchable. “Is that drugged? Did you know I was coming and plan to drug me?”

“Look at you. You get kids and you can’t hold your liquor anymore. You used to be able to drink me under the table.” Anko teased.

“I think it’s a good thing my life is tolerable enough I don’t have to drink myself unconscious regularly.” Normally, ninja paranoia did not allow for heavy drinking, but when one didn’t exactly care if they never woke up...

“And what makes your life so much more tolerable?” Anko asked.

Time. Twelve years between a massacre and this moment. Itachi’s reduction in night terrors. A lack of screaming in the night. The casual instead of vindictive nature to the oppression. Realizing he would probably die before thirty, so he had a limited number of years. That made life far more tolerable.

“Things and stuff.” Shisui poured himself another glass. 

“So why are you drinking now?” Anko asked.

“Itachi’s away for another month and I have _gennin_ and _Kakashi_ to deal with every morning,” Shisui responded. “Life is less tolerable than previously.” Everything was getting very tingly and warm now. “And drinking with you always makes me feel better.”

Anko plucked the glass from his fingers. “I think I know which of those makes life less tolerable than the other.” She had a hand on Shisui’s chest, pressing him back into the hard bench.

“Kakashi,” Shisui said without hesitation. “Absolutely Kakashi. He’s never on time, and I swear he gets later every day. How hard is it to be on time?” Anko kissed Shisui, and it was wet and hot and hit Shisui hard in the gut.

Life was intolerable because without Itachi, the apartment was cold and shabby and smelled like mold, and Shisui was lonely in a way he couldn’t even begin to describe. A way that felt less when his fingers were tangled in Anko’s hair, and her skin burned like a fire about to consume him.  
~  
An ANBU crouched in Anko’s window.

Anko, less hungover than Shisui, sat up. She didn’t bother reaching for something to cover her body or the marks there. “You’re a few hours too late.” This was one of the creepily silent ANBU who simply tipped their head as they looked in. Shisui saw this through a barely cracked eye. His hangover throbbed intensely all through his body, stoking the previously minor leg pain to a dull roar.

“Do you want the condom?” Shisui croaked. He often wondered how many resources Konoha wasted on watching the Uchiha so closely, or if this were punishment specifically for him. Maybe everyone Konoha was watched this closely, only less obviously. Maybe someone at Ishida’s tipped the ANBU off whenever Anko and Shisui were there together. Likely he'd never know.

The ANBU stayed perched until Anko groaned and stood up, walking to the window and opening it. She took the pills the ANBU offered her and swallowed them theatrically, revealing an empty mouth to the ANBU as lewdly as possible.

“Don’t bother with the reminder. I’ll be there for the blood draw when I need to be.” Anko, nude, managed completely bored indifference perfectly. It wasn’t even an act. She wasn’t afraid. She grinned. “Maybe you should join us next time instead of just watching through the window.” The ANBU stayed there, unmoving for about fifteen seconds longer than necessary, and then simply dropped back out of the window.

Anko snorted and shut the window. “ANBU.”

“I’m sorry.” Shisui put an arm over his face. 

“It’s not like I don’t know exactly what I’m signing up for, fucking you,” Anko reminded him. “It’s a great conversation starter too.” Shisui lifted his arm enough to watch Anko walk across the small apartment for a drink of water. Scarred, muscled, and now a little bruised, Anko was perfectly comfortable in her skin. Shisui had always found that attractive. Anko was not afraid of who or what she was, and she wasn’t afraid of other people knowing what she was either. 

“But, since we’re up and I already have to get a blood draw…” Anko’s grin was lascivious. Greedy and rapacious and Shisui pulled a pillow over his face so he wouldn’t look at her.

“My leg is killing me,” Shisui mumbled into the pillow. “And I’m hungover.” And he had guilt. Always guilt for forcing his presence on other people. Anko had a point. The damage, as it were, was done. No reason not to enjoy more, but the lonely ache was replaced with several kinds of heavy guilt. 

“Oh, you poor babe,” Anko slapped Shisui’s bad leg above the cast. Shisui yelped, lashing out with the pillow. Anko caught it and a white pill appeared in her fingers. “One pill, some drinks, and fifteen minutes before I get my full night’s worth out of you.”

Shisui reached up and took the pill, slowly sitting up as he took the canteen she gave him too. It wasn’t water, but it wasn’t alcoholic either. The pill Shisui recognized as a standard cocktail of pain medication and caffeine, meant to get someone home despite massive injury. “You drive a hard bargain.” 

Anko grinned. “It’s cute you think you get a choice.” This had always been Shisui’s choice. Anko’s open offer, but Shisui’s decision. His deliberately chosen vice. It wasn't like he didn't enjoy sex with Anko or Anko’s company in general.

Anko sat down and leaned over to kiss Shisui, all teeth and but not unpleasant. Shisui touched the side of her neck, feeling her pulse, trailing down to her collarbones and breathing in deeply. Anko pulled back and propped herself up on an elbow, eyes tracking down Shisui’s body. She pulled the offending sheets away and gave him another smirk.

“Sometimes I think you’re going to unhinge your jaw and eat me whole.”

“I’m sure I could make you enjoy the experience,” Anko replied. She touched a new scar on his hip. It made been months since Shisui had been with Anko, for multiple reasons. Now he wanted to curl back into her, but he lay still and let her look, touching the new scars or anywhere he might be ticklish. Shisui rolled towards her.

“Do you report on me?” Shisui knew better than to ask this. If she were asked and didn’t, Shisui would look suspicious and Anko would be in trouble. It did no one any good to hide anything Shisui did, or to appear to want any kind of privacy with him. Shisui had no secrets.

Except he did, because everyone did.

“I loudly report on great sex,” Anko replied with the dry tone, touching his arm, tracing the large vein up it until she reached his shoulder. It was so mundane a touch and maddeningly intimate. This was something Konoha didn’t want Shisui to have. These human moments of contact with other people. _I want to be touched._ Shisui could remember when teammates and cousins would touch him. When he could get a hand on the shoulder, a hug, just the normal press of bodies standing together in a small space without any effort. Now, everyone made a point not to touch him, unless they meant to hurt him. 

He had whispered this to Anko, when he was younger and dumber and less aware of the hazards of touching him. He did not know if he hoped she had told someone else. He had something he wanted to tell her now, but he didn’t want anyone else to know. No, he wanted Anko to know, but if he only wanted her to know, he could assume it was not a safe thing to share. It was a secret.

Shisui kept all his secrets locked up to rot away inside of him.

Anko pinched Shisui’s cheek. “I’m being serious. I’d actually suggest not sleeping with anyone else, or they’ll realize I’m exaggerating your prowess a little. Or a lot. Depends of how much the ANBU start to blush.” Anko smirked.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” 

“Isn’t it better if they think I’m hooking up with you because the sex is good, not because I actually like you? Anyway, it fits with what they think of me--that I get off on this more because you’re dangerous and I could get in trouble than anything else.” Anko’s fingers went over his lip, tracing along his cheekbone. “You’re not the only one playing Konoha’s games.” Anko leaned forward, placing her lips on Shisui’s ear. “Uchiha.”

The feeling was not unpleasant, not comfortable, threatening except Anko’s naked body was casual against his. Her hand was on his spine, stroking down it. Shisui shivered.

“They do ask if you ever activate the Sharingan during sex,” Anko shrugged and sat up, gathering her hair back up. “I can take care of myself, Shisui. You just worry about Itachi.” Shisui set his hand on Anko’s back, just feeling the way it moved as she tied her hair back up. Shisui would never call anyone he knew a “friend.” Hard to be friends when knowing him was a danger, but. All the same.

Shisui sat up and kissed Anko’s shoulder, trailing his fingers up her spine as she'd just trailed her fingers down his. “If they try to recruit me into seductions, I am blaming you.”

“Don’t worry, I throw in enough about your performance dysfunctions to keep that from happening.” Anko twisted to look at Shisui. 

“You’re cruel. Possibly evil.” Shisui didn’t say thank you. “What exactly are you telling the ANBU anyway?” Anko just grinned, because there was nothing she liked better than telling Shisui what to do.


	4. 2: Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cage me like an animal. . .  
> Eat me like a cannibal. . .  
> Breathe in, breathe out  
> Let the human in  
>  _Human_ -Of Monsters and Men

Under no circumstances would Itachi be allowed to be Captain of a ANBU squad.

This did not stop every member of his squad from looking at him for direction, because they weren’t stupid. They also wanted to go back home alive, and they knew that Itachi now had a several year record of not letting anyone his his team die. This didn’t make them friends. Back in Konoha they were all like the other ANBU, but it suited Itachi. He would rather have their obedience on the field than their friendship. He did like his squad, because they listened and when they listened to him, they made fewer mistakes, which meant Itachi had to correct fewer mistakes.

Unfortunately, Itachi was not subject to the same rules of leave and active days most ANBU were. If anyone felt they needed some extra muscle or for more arbitrary nonsensical reasons they could assign or request Itachi on their squad. These people seem Hell bent on dying and taking Itachi with them.

The S-class nin had not been their target. He had been an accidental crossing that their Captain had decided should turn into some kind of deranged head hunt. They were on the wrong side of a mission for this. Everyone was tired and worn down and low on chakra. They should have just kept their heads down and reported the sighting.

Instead, they had engaged.

Itachi swiftly kicked Rats legs out from under her. It brought them both below the strike of the massive sword. Itachi felt it brush him as it went by. Impressive, that the swordsman could adjust a strike so quickly. Itachi bolted up from the ground. He preferred to fight at a distance, but he wanted to be too close for the sword to hit him full force. 

The missing-nin had a vicious, blood thirsty smile on his face. Eager to see an ANBU rising to strike at him. The nin kicked, and everything exploded, throwing Itachi back before the nin could get his sword back around, giving everyone time to gain some distance. Itachi wished he knew the rest would run, but they would stay. Itachi’s hands went through signs, red eyes tracking as the nin swung again, with no evident effort. He moved easily, fluid, _fast_. He was toying with them. Itachi felt a shiver go down his spine. They were being played with.

Itachi dove in again. The sword blow smashed through his skull and his clone turned into a murder of crows that dove at the man, tearing at his face and hands as Itachi appeared behind the nin, kunai aimed at his back. Itachi dodged the kick, but a powerful hand caught Itachi, heaving him into the air as the sword came around with an audible noise of hunger. Itachi felt the blow before he vanished, and the force of it knocked him off his feet even though he’s translocated away. Itachi threw himself to the side as the nin’s sword slammed down into the ground. It gripped and ripped Itachi’s sleeve, scraping his arm raw. Itachi’s fireball exploded into the man, who turned into a steam of cloud and boiling water.

Itachi suddenly found himself in a prison of water, and then he wasn’t. He yards away, kuani raining down on the missing-nin in an explosive cloud, toxic smoke curling out. Itachi went down and in, genjutsu distorting his image into five different selves, all vanishing with a swift slice of the massive sword, which passed so close to Itachi it scraped the armor off of his back. The missing-nin found himself in the same prison of water, which exploded out as a shark burst out of it, jaws closing over Itachi’s head. Another explosion, large enough to leave a crater. A dying shark flopped weakly on the ground. Itachi crouched in the trees, ears straining for noise, red eyes darting. Where. Where. Where….

Sparrow screamed. Itachi bolted, racing through the trees until he saw Sparrow about to be eviscerated. Itachi gave up on tact and translocated almost on top of the man’s head, securing a quick hold in hair and stabbing for the man’s face. He sliced through the side of the man’s face, and Itachi felt teeth bite into his hand before he was thrown off like a ragdoll. More crows exploding out from a clone, swarming and screaming and trying to blind. Itachi scrambled on the ground to get Sparrow away. Strain of lifting someone fifty pounds heavier than him. Awful wrench of chakra to move him. Blood all over his hand, thumb wasn’t working properly. He needed to conserve chakra. Itachi leapt across the trees and pulled out scrolls, giving them out to clones that then circled the man. Poison kunai, a ball of exploding tags, acid compressed to the point of explosion. All three clones moved at once as Itachi hit the ground in front of the man, mask off, eyes red.

Odd how that shock of seeing red eye spinning and an unmasked spook caught people’s eyes. The man’s own odd eyes widened, and if anything he looked more excited. More _eager._ Itachi sank in the genjutsu, erasing the presence of the clones and then lacing another genjutsu on top of agonizing pain, and then one of deafening noise, the sounds of a marketplace tripled and tripled again. As the missing-nin ripped through the genjutsu Itachi layered them back on, quicker than thought, until kunai ripped through the man, following my an explosive cloud of acid, and then an explosion that defeaned and blinded the world.  
-  
“You didn’t kill him.”

“No.” Itachi, wounds crusting over and burns itching stood in the bowels of the T&I under ANBU. Ibiki didn’t insist on strapping Itachi to the chair. Or drugging him. Or that Itachi genially subject himself to genjutsu to prove loyalty or truthfulness. Overall, Ibiki was one of Itachi’s favorite interrogators.

Itachi still wanted this to be over so he could go and see Shisui. The want was uncomfortably close to a physical need. He needed to see for himself Shisui was alive and well, but he also just wanted to see Shisui. He wanted to be _near_ Shisui.

“Why not?”

“Because two of our squad were down and I was low on chakra. While I could take taken him on alone, protecting three targets I could not. I was also already low on chakra and supplies and felt it best to allow him to flee instead of getting us all killed for no good reason. Our mission objective had been accomplished, and we were not near enough the border for back-up or for Hoshigake’s presence to pose a serious security threat,” Itachi listed his reasons calmly.

“Then you think Deer made a bad call in pursuing Hoshigake Kisame?” Ibiki asked, tapping a metal instrument either used to stir tea or organs on the desk. Itachi doubted it was meant to intimidate him.

“I believe he did.”

“And why would a seasoned Captain do that?”

“Because my presence in a squad gives people a false sense of invincibility. They believe I will save them from physical danger and that I can be blamed for any unfavorable results.” Itachi explained calmly. “I would rather be blamed for the escape of a missing-nin we were not charged with capturing than with the death of a comrade.”

Ibiki grunted, turning over some papers as Itachi stared straight ahead. The way the man’s not-smiling meant he appreciated Itachi’s reasoning. “You cite lack of chakra as a reason for many of your failures.”

“I have an abnormally low reserves for a ninja of my caliber, that is true,” Itachi admitted. “It was a problem when I was a genin as well.” Itachi wanted to scratch the drying blood on his face.

“You had enough chakra to continue the fight,” Ibiki pointed out.

Itachi smiled a fraction. “But not enough to continue the fight and provide a proper escort on the way back to Konoha.”

“In other words, you did not trust your squad to get you back to Konoha safely,” Ibiki went on.

“Or themselves, if Deer was going to make such rash decisions,” Itachi added. He already knew he would be punished in some way. Torture was not effective, as Konoha had trained him to withstand that. Humiliation was the norm for punishing Uchiha, but what greater humiliation was there than being an Uchiha?

“Your share for this mission goes to the rest of your squad,” Ibiki didn’t pretend this was not a predetermined punishment. It was better than when they chose to go after Shisui. This wasn’t an actual punishment, but a symbolic one. Itachi had made the right choice with his actions, but appearances must be kept up.

“Be ready for a summons. There’s probably going to be something for you to run before the week’s out.” Itachi bowed, holding the posture a moment longer than needed, and made his way out of the room. Down here with the thickly locked rooms, screaming, and true terrors of ANBU that made everyone sweat, Itachi passed without much comment. These people knew what it was to be a monster. Itachi wondered how many of them had plans for how they would break him when the time came. No one asked if they would ever need to. These people always asked when.

Itachi made his ways down a few flights. Navigating down here was a difficult thing, as genjutsu merged with confusing floor plans, but Itachi never had a problem getting to a certain place. Getting out, perhaps, but never getting down here. This hall of the floor stood empty, and Itachi walked down five cells from the entrance and slipped inside.

It was a bare stone cell. Itachi ran his fingers along the wall, noting there were still nicks climbing the wall like one might expect to find marking a child’s growth. The only thing in the room was a small wicker and cloth basket. Itachi opened it, revealing some plain black clothes. He shuffled out of his ruined armor, replacing it in the carry basket before pulling on the looser black clothing. The shirt was too big. Itachi pressed his nose into the collar and sniffed, but yanked it away quickly. It smelled oppressively clean. Hospital clean.

“You should wash before you put on clean clothes.”

Itachi expected the voice and ignored it, changing into the viciously clean scented clothing. He should have known better than for anything to be undisturbed down here. He could have had a locker in the armory to keep spare clothes, but he would rather play these games than the ones the ANBU on the floors above him would play. He would just leave in his mangled uniform, but he was not allowed to. His status as ANBU was an open secret. Technically no one was supposed to know.

Technically, everyone knew.

“They’re not clean.” Itachi didn’t turn. He tied the packs straps and then rubbed at a scab for fresh blood to run through the seals on top of the basket. It folded into a small square of paper, which Itachi placed in his pocket. “They were clean when I left, but it seems rats got into them while I was away.”

“Rats have lived here for a long time. Have you forgotten that already?”

Itachi finally turned. The woman who stood at the door to the cell had no face. It wasn’t simply she wore a mask, but it was just she had no face. It could be written off as a smooth white mask at a glance, but the longer one stared, the more the surreal and unnerving horror looked less and less like a mask. She didn’t have a name, even among ANBU. Itachi, to this day, still didn’t know if she were an actual human being or a convoluted jutsu. Maybe a doll. Maybe.

Itachi did not have to come here, down to this specific little cell room. He did it because he remembered very clearly this thing leaning down to whisper in his ear: _This cell will always be ready for you, little Uchiha._

It was the last time anyone referred to him as an Uchiha, but Itachi made his reputation being difficult to threaten. The moments he had gained access to this building, he had come back to this cell. He had stood in it, finding it bare. Every cell on this hall was bare, ready and waiting. Itachi did not know if it were all set up specifically for him, or if these cells were really set aside for every Dog in Konoha, but since the cell was already reserved for him, Itachi made use of it.

Itachi smiled, but not in the pleasant way Shisui could smile. “I don’t forget things.” He stood ready to leave, but the woman stood in the door still. She wore a white ANBU uniform, inky black hair pulled away from her not-face.

“Pride is a dangerous thing.”

“Lying is more dangerous,” Itachi said with a calm he didn’t quite feel. He was tired. He wanted to go home. The hospital antiseptic stink on his clothes made him tense. Slowly, the woman stepped aside, and once again Itachi was allowed to leave. He didn’t hurry up the stairs, but he ascended without stopping to the upper floors of the ANBU headquarters.

In the upper floors, people sneered or looked away. Here, most were frightened of Itachi. He inspired some deep, primal fear that told them they were inferior prey. They responded to propaganda and horror stories of what Uchiha were capable of. Were driven to do because if some impulse bred into them. They covered it with scorn and bravado, but Itachi knew fear. He’d felt it often enough. Itachi felt every glance like a physical touch. It made his skin crawl and itch. He counted each step in his head to keep himself focussed on something else. He still tracked every noise and movement and shuffle, because after a long mission would be a perfect time for “hazing” or a “prank.” Some painful, harmful exercise explained a desire to foster bonds, which was laughable in Itachi’s situation.

Itachi signed himself out at the desk, letting it be noted he was out of uniform, and that he had left the building. ANBU did not like Itachi to be sneaky.

Itachi took a direct route to his and Shisui’s apartment. As always, he worried the roof was going to give in under his feet. They were on top of an older building, not as high as others, but tall. Konoha built up. Itachi scrabbled down the side of the building and cracked open the window, slithering in and crouching by the window as he adjusted to the dimmer lighting. He stood and listened. He breathed in the stuffy smells of the apartment before locking the window back. All seemed safe.

Itachi secured the apartment, checking for traps and intruders thoroughly. He grabbed Shisui’s pillow from the bed and pressed his face into it, ignoring the smears of dried blood he was getting on it. It smelled strongly of Shisui’s head, probably not washed enough while Itachi was away. Itachi carried the pillow with him as he went to drag out better smelling clothes for himself and see what Shisui had left him to eat. Every few minutes Itachi ducked his head to sniff the pillow. It helped with the physical feeling like suffocation that grew as he thought of how long it had been since he’d seen Shisui.  
-  
Itachi was still in the bath when Shisui came home. He stayed there while Shisui walked through the apartment, securing it as Itachi had when he arrived. Itachi closed his eyes and tracked the noise. It felt like those games children played, for who could hold their breath the longest. How long could he stand not to look for Shisui? Who would come seeking first? Of course, Shisui did not even know they were playing this game. Itachi huddled in the bath and counted anyway.

“Now you’re in the bath, after you smeared blood all over my pillow?” Shisui asked from the door, trying to lean enough to see Itachi’s face without coming into the room.

“I needed to eat,” Itachi replied, angling his face away enough Shisui was forced to step into the room and come around to see Itachi’s face. Itachi glanced up at Shisui, watching the systematic way Shisui’s eyes tracked over him.

“You didn’t get healed.”

“It’s nothing major.”

“ _Itachi_ ,” Shisui breathed out, closing his eyes, counting in his head probably.

Itachi stood up, stepping out of the small tub to forestall a lecture. Bruises and scrapes and minor burns would heal on their own, and if Itachi did get pulled for another mission, someone would heal him then. If he had wanted healing today, he would have been forced to fight for it. After the interviews for his “misconduct”, he’d take the discomfort over that.

Shisui glanced away, but his eyes came back as Itachi began patting himself dry with the thin towel. They could have had nicer ones, but Shisui subscribed to this idea that if they lived simply, in some kind of monkly penance, it was better. Sometimes Shisui was masterful at playing the system set against them, and other times he seemed a superstitious lunatic. None of this would save them in the end. If they kept their heads down, used worn out towels, and ate simple meals, bad things could still happen to them. Konoha would still hate a fear them. Itachi never said these things out loud.

After a few moments of looking, Shisui left the bathroom and began clattering in the kitchen. Itachi pulled on pants and came out, taking up Shisui’s pillow again before sitting on the floor. Shisui appeared beside him moments later, setting down a box of medical supplies. He gave the pillow in Itachi’s lap an exasperated look. 

“Really?” Shisui unsealed a few scrolls, readying his medical supplies. He always over did it.

“It smells like you.” The pillow served several purposes at this point, only one of which Shisui needed to know about. Shisui looked down, expression smoothing from mock irritation to the careful blankness. Shisui sighed slowly and tapped his fingers on a roll of gauze. His spine relaxed, his gaze going inward, the careful set of his mouth faltering for a few seconds.

Shisui pulled himself back upright, bottling something up inside himself again. “So, what tore you up this time?” He began applying a healing salve to the deeper cuts and the burns.

“S-class missing-nin,” Itachi replied calmly. Shisui stopped until Itachi looked at him.

“Really?”

“Hoshigake Kisame from Mist,” Itachi confirmed. He lifted his right arm and pointed to the abrasion on it. Shisui’s face crinkled up. 

“Okay, I’ll bite.” Shisui stopped abruptly as Itachi display the bite mark on his hand. He probably should have gotten that healed, or stitched at least. “Shit, bad word choice, huh?” His smile turned crooked, face upturned to Itachi, and Itachi had the impulse to kiss him. _Bad idea._

“Tell me about your kids,” Itachi suggested. Shisui’s face wrinkled in a new way, and Itachi smiled. He could see Shisui fighting against the urge to let out all his frustrations and to know what exactly had lead to an altercation with a missing-nin.

“Their instructor is Kakashi, right?” Itachi pressed, and that was evidently the place to press.

“He’s terrible,” Shisui began purposefully smearing ointment in Itachi. “He’s always late, so you know what? I’m basically training his team now. Every single one of them.”

“Maybe he thought you wanted the chance to,” Itachi suggested mildly. Shisui’s finger jabbed at his nose. 

“I think he just likes to sleep in,” Shisui grumbled. He ran his hand down Itachi’s arm. Avoiding wounds but checking Itachi’s bones. Itachi let him, though he knew he hadn’t broken anything. “It gives me something to do, I guess, but they’re all...they’re so young.”

There were a hundred different ways Shisui could have said that. “What about the kids?”

“About as annoying as Kakashi.” Shisui moved to Itachi’s other side. “Shit, Itachi, this is awful. You don’t have any skin left.” Shisui touched Itachi’s right arm, above and below the abrasion. “You need to go back and get this healed. It’s going to get infected or scar.” Itachi’s skin prickled under Shisui’s fingers, partly from pain. 

“I’ll go,” Itachi concedes. “Tomorrow.”

Shisui sighed. “Let’s go down to Ishida’s and see if anyone’s there.” He began to carefully cover the aching wound, muttering something about it still bleeding.

“And the Uchiha?” Itachi asked. Shisui went completely still. He breathed out slowly, dabbing at Itachi’s arm. It hurt more than Itachi expected, and Shisui was likely right. It needed healing.

“He is everything Konoha wants him to be, but he’s terrified of having the Sharingan so he can’t master it,” Shisui reported rather monotone and dull.

“Did he spit on you?” Itachi asked.

Shisui snorted. “No, that remains your distinct honor.” Itachi had, several month ago, crossed one or the Uchiha in the halls. She had stared at Itachi in unmitigated terror for half a second before the venomous hatred had risen up and she’d spit in his face. Itachi had been too shocked to make a proper response, as he’d been fully braced to ignore his distant relation.

In a way, he was glad she hadn’t.

“Oh, I’ve got the little pink girl,” Shisui added, dabbing another spot and then shifting around to look at Itachi’s face.

“The one who follows you?” Itachi asked dryly, and Shisui grinned. The first time he’d noticed the pink haired child peering at him so often, Shisui had had a full blown melt down over her. He’d thought she was a test from ANBU, either an actual child and they were trying to catch him conversing with a civilian or someone in disguise. He hadn’t dare look with his Sharingan, or look too long, and had arrived in the apartment panicked.

That had been the first time Itachi had had to comfort Shisui. It had been the first time Itachi realized Shisui was not as in control as he pretended to be. Itachi felt his damage down to his core, and all the cracks where pressure could break him down if he let it, but he’d always assumed Shisui was stronger. That Konoha had not hurt him so badly or deeply.

Trying to physically hold Shisui together as he started to come apart had told Itachi differently.

“Is she any good?” Itachi had to ask.

“I think so. She’s far more clever than the boys, and right now she’s got them physically beat if she’d just apply herself that way. She doubts her judgement too much, and she’s mooning after the Uchiha and Naruto is mooning after here,” Shisui actually rolled his eyes. “They are a mess.”

“You’ve got Uzumaki Naruto and an Uchiha on the same team?” 

“I know, right? It’s kind of fucked.” Shisui reached for Itachi’s face, then paused for a moment.

 _What were you going to do with my face?_ Itachi handed Shisui a small light, and Shisui nodded in thanks before reached up to examine Itachi’s eyes. Itachi dutifully looked at the light and away, the routine so practiced they didn’t need to talk through it.

“It sounds like a perfect team for hunting someone down,” Itachi murmured.

“I’m teaching them all your tricks,” Shisui muttered back, switching sides to look at Itachi’s other eye. His fingers pried at Itachi’s eyelids, and Itachi could feel his breath. Itachi suddenly felt every single one of his aches and pains and the exhaustion bearing down on him. A few years ago he would have leaned his forehead to Shisui’s shoulder or neck and and kept it there. Shisui would have let him, probably stroking fingers over Itachi’s head and neck. Things changed.

“Don’t worry. I pick up new tricks quickly,” Itachi replied.

Shisui sat back and sighed. “From missing-nin?” He arched an eyebrow and Itachi smiled, leaning forward over the pillow. 

“I will tell you if you braid my hair,” Itachi offered.

“I just kept you from getting septic,” Shisui waved his hands at Itachi’s many scrape and cuts. “I don’t get any thanks for that?”

“No,” Itachi folded his hands on the pillow. “My hands are tired.” This was not a complete lie.

Shisui rolled his eyes, which didn’t cover the flicker down to Itachi’s small hands. His vital, all important hands. Itachi couldn’t count the number of times he’d had them broken or sprained. He always got his hands healed.

“Well, we wouldn’t want you to wear out your hands. For the good of Konoha, I will braid your hair,” Shisui grunted as he hauled himself up, the walking cast barely hindering him. Itachi smiled and leaned down to breathe in the scent of the pillow as Shisui gathered up his hair.

“Now, tell me, oh murderous shadow of the darkest of night, all about this missing-nin you single handedly saved your squad from.”


	5. 3. Performance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second is a harder kind of secret: one you keep from yourself. Every day, thousands of confessions are kept from their would-be confessors, none of these people knowing that their never-admitted secrets all boil down to the same three words: I am afraid. -- _Dream Thieves_ by Maggie Stiefvater

Itachi didn't usually come to Ishida’s with Shisui. Shisui people would stomach. Itachi made them nervous. Still, Shisui shrugged into his flak vest again, and Itachi grabbed a turtleneck shirt that had been sitting in Shisui’s unwashed laundry. All the black made Itachi look appropriately mysterious, until he tried to get his shoes from their place by the door at the same moment Shisui did. 

Normally, Shisui would have been nimble enough to get his sandals on without a problem, but his cast gave Itachi an unfair advantage. Shisui finally had to slam a chakra laden arm into the wall to hold himself up as Itachi, as if Shisui were not previously close to falling because Itachi kept trying to trip him, slid his shoes on, opened the door and looked back innocently.

“Why are you this way?” Shisui demanded as he pulled himself up right. “I braided your hair and everything.”

Itachi flicked the braid over his shoulder, and then flicked it back. “It’s not a very good braid.” With that he pulled the black mask up over his lower face, reducing him to a strip of pale skin, too much bang, and huge eyes. Shisui just locked the door and felt some regret as Itachi’s entire body language shifted.

“Come on.” Shisui said it more softly than he meant to. Tonight they had to walk instead of jumping roofs, and Within fifteen minutes they had an ANBU on their tail, and they were not being subtle about it.

Shisui kept scowling at the masked face until he turned and saw Itachi had thrown up a genjutsu to make himself look like Kakashi.

“Stop.” Shisui demanded. “Don't torment me.” The genjutsu dropped. They were in the street so Itachi did not smile, even behind his mask, but it was there on the inside.

Shisui wondered what the ANBU following them made of that but of playful illusion. Did they think Uchiha should be allowed to tease each other? Itachi stepped closer, and Shisui knew making him walk had been a bad idea. Itachi did not manage crowds well. Shisui could probably manage the roofs for a while. One legged hopping? How far would that set his healing back anyway?

“ I'll meet you there,” Shisui offered. He turned his head enough to get the admonishing look and twitch of a head shake. Itachi stood in a perfect flanking position, eyes tracking the crowd, flicking to the rooftops, starting the ANBU down for long moments. 

“Stubborn brat…” Shisui muttered. He couldn't do anything else in the open like this. They reached Ishida's slowly, cutting through alleys until they made it to the open door. Itachi was the one who set the heavy appreciation tip on the bar. It vanished with a nod.

Shisui surveyed the better than average crowd, noting healers trying to pick the person most likely to be sympathetic. Itachi picked Shisui’s shirt and started for a corner. Shisui turned and saw Genma, Raidou, and Izumo at a corner both. Izumo raised a hand in greeting, reclined and lazy despite their approach.

“Wait, let me guess,” Genma held up a hand as they came closer. “I'm needs healing.”

Itachi tugged the mask down. “No.”

“Yes,” Shisui cut him off. “ Are we that predictable?”

Genma's nodded. Raidou shook his head. “The rumor mill is that active, but it's nice to know an S-class missing-nin can at least make a dent in you.”

Izumo raised his glass. “Congratulations on not being dead.”

“Thank you.” Itachi's reply was a bland monotone that made Izumo grim.

“Why are you glad to know that?” Shisui demanded, pushing Itachi towards the booth. “Let Genma see.” Genma was moving over already, senbon clacking against his teeth. Itachi pulled off his long sleeved shirt to the sleeveless one underneath and sat down. Genma began to peel off the bandage Shisui had placed over the wound.

Everyone in the bar watched the friendly meeting. Izumo had had the unfortunate privilege of working with Shisui multiple times, and Genma and Raidou had been part of the team that supervised Itachi's training. They'd run a mission it's two with Shisui as well. Genma and Raidou were not easily alarmed by Itachi, actually knowing him about as well as anyone could casually know Itachi. Izumo seemed to take Shisui’s presence as immunity from Itachi’s rumored danger. It was the closest they really came to having friends.

But, Shisui knew they would all report on either or both of them if asked. 

“Do you like the idea of anyone being untouchable?” Raidou’s voice pulled Shisui’s attention back to the banter.

“I don’t see a problem with someone from my village being that way,” Shisui sniffed. “What’s everyone drinking? The next round is on me.”

“You know I didn’t get paid, don’t you?” Itachi kept the same dry tone, dark eyes hitting Shisui with every emotional nuance not allowed in the words.

“How many of the missions you run do you _actually _get paid for?” Izumo asked, leaning on the table.__

__“About half. Sometimes.” Itachi didn’t seem bothered, as if he ran missions for the fun of it. Then again, he didn’t do it for money. Raidou, over the chatter, gave Shisui the drink orders. The atmosphere of this place was always different with Itachi. Shisui thought he was one of the oldest Uchiha left after Kanda had died last year. Shisui lacked the “typical” Uchiha features most people searched for, and what he did have he played down. His hair was always mussed. He cared for it in ways that made it more brown than black. He never stared and kept a perpetual smile on his face. Just the affable, genial Dog, here to lick people’s boots. Nothing at all to fear. People got used to him._ _

__No one ever got used to Itachi._ _

__Shisui waited for the drinks and watched the table. As with Anko, there was some odd prestige in knowing an Uchiha. In being _casual_ with one, but also this edged danger. Why did Genma heal Itachi instead of someone else? Why was Raidou asking Itachi low voice questions so hard to over hear? Izumo had a better reaction, looking at Itachi with a mix of wary fascination. Genma and Raid had reasons and a history to explain these things, though, and they were old enough to care less. They could remember Uchiha being everywhere. They had a better understanding of what had happened._ _

__They had seen a child come up screaming from a night terror where his throat was being ripped open with the dullest knife in his mother’s kitchen._ _

__Shisui realized he had been staring too intently as Itachi looked over at him._ _

___Bite down._ The words carried in the glance. Hide the resentment. Don’t give any indication of analytical or critical thought. Shisui pasted the genial smile back on as he gathered the drinks and took them back. He placed a shot down in front of Itachi, who looked put out._ _

__“Live a little. Call it a celebration you didn’t get your head chopped off,” Shisui suggested. Itachi’s expression stayed slightly sour as he looked up at Shisui._ _

__“You take your life in your hands,” Izumo said it cheerfully, raising his drink._ _

__Raidou snorted, possibly because he knew how Itachi and Shisui had grown up. “What’s this about your training a gennin team?”_ _

__Shisui sighed. Itachi downed the shot, throat constricting on the burn. He set the glass down with delicate precision, purposeful. He had heard all about the gennin. He was not impressed._ _

__“I,” Shisui pointed at the table for emphasis. “Do _not_ have a gennin team. I am training a gennin on Kakashi-san’s team, because he had the Sharingan and I have the Sharingan, so I’m teaching him how to use it effectively.”_ _

__“What I heard was,” Izumo leaned forward as he spoke, grinning. “You were running them through drills all day Tuesday.”_ _

__“Teaching someone the Sharingan does involve running drills, and they other two were just standing around. They might as well help,” Shisui explained patiently. He’d rather his training this team were not such a broad gossip topic. He didn’t want everyone looking at this team. Looking at Sasuke and then Itachi and Shisui and making connections._ _

__“After its initial awakening, the Sharingan remains a fear based reaction. Frightening or threatening someone is the fastest way to get a Sharingan activated. Eventually you learn to trigger them without the adrenaline surge,” Itachi explained in a low voice. Thus Uchiha children often pushed themselves off houses or bridges or off into the river to get their Sharingan to activate. Or they had at one time._ _

__“Right, so the only way I can get Sasuke to activate his Sharingan is to make him think I’m about to kill him,” Shisui muttered._ _

__“You can say you think Kakashi is doing a piss-poor job training them so you took over,” Raidou pointed out._ _

__“You need lower standards.”_ _

__“In some areas, you should never compromise,” Shisui replied, fake levity. Itachi gave him a little nod. Good job. Good performance. It would be wrong to say Shisui wasn’t enjoying himself, but equally wrong to say he was not playing himself up._ _

___Itachi watched with his impassive face, but he was mocking Shisui a little. Teasing and maybe enjoying the show. Genma’s hands were glowing softly as he smoothed out the gash on Itachi’s arm. Why was this so much easier with Itachi? Shisui always carried the thought that Itachi’s presence made everything harder, because he was Itachi and people reacted badly. Now he was thinking it had never been true.  
~  
The next day it was very difficult to leave the apartment. Itachi was doing weapons and armor repair, which meant he had somehow taken up every usable surface in the house. Shisui had been forced to sit and watch most of it, as his knee and leg were still mostly immobile. It should have made Shisui want to be outside, because it wasn’t as if Itachi were particularly talkative at the moment, but instead he lingered until Itachi told him to get out and leave before he was late._

__Today was the day Naruto sliced open his arm.._ _

__“STOP STOP STOP.” As soon as Shisui saw the blood he was on his feet, marching towards them. “Put _pressure_ on that!” Naruto just stared in surprise at the bright red well of blood seeping up onto his skin. Sakura, reacting as if physically propelled, pulled off her headband and clamped the fabric over the wound. Naruto didn’t yelp, which surprised Shisui. Sasuke stayed at distance, tacitly displeased Naruto had injured himself._ _

__Shisui whipped out a scroll, unsealing a sterile square of gauze and waving Sakura away, She stepped back slowly, and Shisui bent down to grip Naruto’s arm, holding it tightly._ _

__“Ow.” Naruto said this in a more formal protest than a pained way. “Hey, you’ve got brown eyes.”_ _

__Shisui looked up, startled. “How, exactly, did you make it to gennin, Naruto?”_ _

__Naruto grinned and puffed up as if this were a compliment. Sakura stood close, her brows drawn down as she watched Shisui hold pressure and the blood seeping out around the edges of the gauze. This kid had gone deep._ _

__“He’s not that bad,” Sakura said, and seemed a little embarrassed to be defending him. Naruto definitely swelled this time._ _

__“See?” Shisui didn’t know who that was directed too._ _

__“I said not _that_ bad. You’re still bad. You tripped us all up during the drills this morning,” Sakura pointed out. “You always do.”_ _

__“No one _else_ runs as many drills as we do. I asked Kiba, and they don’t.” Naruto sounded more than a little outraged. “And we only have to do them because Sasuke _sucks._.” _ _

__That broke Sasuke’s impartial mask. His head came around, and the glare was his brother’s. Shisui wanted to laugh, because it lacked the menace, but it was Itachi’s angry tip of the head and the way Sasuke’s eyes narrowed screamed family resemblance. It wouldn’t be long before everyone knew the two were related._ _

__“What did you just say?” Sasuke asked, in a cold tone most people would shrink from._ _

__“I said you _suck!_ ” Naruto shot back, half shouted._ _

__“Naruto!” Sakura matched volume and surpassed vehemence. Sasuke stalked forward, and this was the closest he’d ever been to Shisui. The air was filled with the smell of blood and sweaty children. Sweaty pre-teens, actually. Sasuke and Naruto were glaring at each other, and if Shisui hadn’t been there, he was sure Sakura would have been pushing her way in between them. She had moved closer, as if she were going to move between them._ _

__Naruto suddenly flinched, breaking off his glare with Sasuke too look down.. “ _Ow._ ”_ _

__Shisui realized how tightly he was holding Naruto’s arm and pulled the cloth back to check the wound. It had miraculously stopped bleeding. It just oozed slowly. Maybe not that deep after all. “Sit down,” Shisui instructed, pulling out the scroll and unsealing first aid supplies._ _

__“Doesn’t Sasuke suck?” Naruto demanded of Shisui as he sat. “He can’t use the Sharingan, right, because he sucks.”_ _

__“Sasuke is more skilled than you, Naruto,” Shisui pointed out dryly. “If you don’t realize that you’re an idiot.” But Shisui knew that he did. Sasuke actually looked a little smug, until he seemed to realize who he was being praised by. He scowled again, and Sakura _actually_ rolled her eyes at Sasuke. Shisui hid a smile as he awkwardly sat._ _

__“But you’re luckier and more determined than Sasuke, and you have good reflexes. You probably won’t ever be great at planning, but you can have good instincts.” Shisui pointed out as he began wrapping the wound. “You’re all going to be a team, so you need to focus on what you’re good at instead of trying to be the best at everything.”_ _

__Shisui tied off the bandage and stood, using Naruto’s head to lever himself all the way up._ _

__“Okay.” They were all staring at him, even Sasuke. They were all waiting for his next decision or command or even just words. Rapt childish attention._ _

__“Sasuke, what are Sakura’s greatest strengths?” Shisui asked._ _

__Sasuke looked startled for a moment. “She’s smart.”_ _

__“True, but that’s the most obvious. Don’t be so abstract. What would Sakura be best at doing on a mission? What job would you give her?” Shisui demanded. This brought silence, but then Naruto jumped up, beaming._ _

__“She’s smart, right? So she should be the team leader!” Naruto seemed pleased with this idea._ _

__“Wrong, but not completely.” Shisui watched both boys stare at Sakura, trying to decide on the “right” answer. Sakura looked a little flustered. She fidgeted._ _

__“Sakura has amazing chakra control. She doesn’t have that much, but her control makes up for it. She’s also very coordinated and analytical. She notices a lot of things. She should be your point man. Her skills are the most reliable right now.” Shisui went on, pointing at Sasuke. “If you had the Sharingan mastered, it would give you an observational advantage, and that would be your job. Since it’s not, you’re better as long distance support--ninjutsu and the like. You have good accuracy with thrown weapons. And Naruto…”_ _

__Shisui turned to the starry eyed boy, obviously eager to get his designation. “You’ve got a lot of raw strength and chakra. You don’t have to be careful with your reserves because there’s so much of it. You’re the brawler who wins through sheer strength. Doesn’t matter if your opponent is more clever than you or has finer tuned skills. You’ll win based on strength of will and brute force.”_ _

__Naruto took a moment, but then looked inordinately pleased with this. He beamed. Sasuke was frowning, and Sakura looked thoughtful. Good. Right now she had the clearest head of them all. If she could get past the adoration of Sasuke, she’d be golden._ _

___“Now.” Shisui smiled, and the children’s expressions all changed, eyes locked on him. “About those drills….” The team scattered, Sasuke actually thoughtfully dropping smoke bombs to cover their escape. The smoke really only provided cover for the number of clones Shisui created, but it had been a good thought.  
-  
There were things Itachi simply did not do. Shopping was one of them._

__“Really?” Shisui looked into the freshly stocked cabinets and then back at his roommate/charge._ _

__“I got what you normally get,” Itachi defended himself. After being around the gennin, Shisui couldn’t stop looking at how much Itachi _didn’t_ move. No movement was wasted. He sat drinking his tea, tracking Shisui’s movements with his eyes and nothing else. His utter stillness screamed danger, though. A cat’s calm before a pounce._ _

__“But you went shopping and we still had food in the cabinets,” Shisui pointed out, opening another. He was actually impressed. “Did you have any trouble?”_ _

__Itachi shrugged. “It was Natsu.”_ _

__Ah, one of Itachi’s squad. She’d probably just been in the area, of they were trying to make Itachi’s squad less friendly with him. Or no one had actually expected Itachi to go shopping. This seemed most likely. Itachi did not enjoy crowded places. Itachi did not shop unless there was absolutely no other choice._ _

__Shisui looked at the selection of sweets. “You did tell me you didn’t get paid, right?”_ _

__“But you’ve been getting paid,” Itachi pointed out._ _

__Shisui leaned over the counter between them, close enough to smell the coffee Itachi was drinking. Coffee, not tea. “I should charge you rent.”_ _

__“I bought groceries so you wouldn’t have to limp through the market,” Itachi pointed out. “I’m all paid up now.”_ _

__“This precocious “know-it-all” thing isn’t as cute as it used to be.” The pain of his leg was better, but it was a constant throbbing ache. Now Shisui thought the ache was from the immobility of the walking cast, not the injury. It centered in his hips and lower back._ _

__“Do you want something for it?” Itachi asked._ _

__“It’s not so bad.” Shisui breathed out, resting his elbow on the counter and dropping his head in an attempt to stretch his back out a bit. “It’s going to take me forever to get back into condition.” Shisui wondered if they would give him time to do that, or if he’d just be thrown back into everything._ _

__Itachi gave Shisui a blank, annoyed look before getting up and going to a cabinet. He retrieved a pain pill and set it and his coffee cup down beside Shisui._ _

__“Fine, fine…” Shisui took the pill and a drink of the coffee. He almost spit it back out. It was sickeningly sweet. Shisui managed to swallow and looked at Itachi._ _

__“Why coffee?” his voice sounded strained._ _

__“It smells better than it tastes,” Itachi replied with distaste. Shisui snorted, leaning on the counter again as he took another sip to make sure the pill didn’t get lodged in his throat. He barely jumped as Itachi touched his back. With that warning, Itachi pushed up Shisui’s shirt and ran his thumbs up either side of Shisui’s spine._ _

__Itachi’s hands were all callous and scars. They were business like as they probed along Shisui’s spine and back down to settle low on his hips, where the pain centered. Shisui could not move. He did not care move._ _

__“You’re tense,” Itachi murmured. He pressed his fingers in. “Here.”_ _

__“Because,” Shisui managed. “That hurts.”_ _

__“I think it hurts because you’re too tense,” Itachi corrected, pushing his hands in harder. Shisui leaned more against the counter. Itachi’s hip sat right next to his._ _

__“Your whole back is out of alignment,” Itachi murmured as his hands ran up Shisui’s spine, hands splayed out. It hurt. Suddenly all Shisui’s back felt painfully tender, but it also felt good. Of course it felt good._ _

__“You don’t take care of yourself,” Itachi accused softly, as if most of his concentration was taken up in feeling Shisui’s back. In the way his fingers pushed down into Shisui’s skin and circled the sore muscles with more pressure than seemed possible in such small hands._ _

__“Pot, meet kettle,” Shisui tried to snap, but the words were muffled. Low. Shisui dropped his head to the counter. He could practically feel Itachi smirking, leaning over and in. Shisui waved a hand at Itachi, who slowly pulled his hands away, as if Shisui’s skin had a magnetic pull.Shisui stayed draped over the counter._ _

__“I’ll waive your rent if you let me lie down before you do that again?” Shisui suggested. This was playing with fire, but his back did hurt. He hurt, and Itachi did know what he was doing. He was probably smirking. He was always insufferable. Always. Especially as he patted Shisui’s back and walked away, taking his coffee back._ _

__Shisui hobbled his way across the room. In another, smaller room, Itachi’s bed was pushed into the corner farthest from the door. Shisui set his more normally away from the wall. His pillow was missing again. Actually so was his blanket. Shisui glanced back at Itachi, who shrugged._ _

__“I took a nap.”_ _

__“I take it back. You still owe me rent.”_ _

__Itachi offered Shisui the coffee solemnly._ _

__Shisui smiled despite himself. “ _Brat._ ” Itachi retracted the cup, smiling crooked and soft and sideways as he ducked his head. Shisui’s heart and gut did the most interesting things. The most awful things. Shisui pulled off his shirt and threw it at Itachi’s head. “Make yourself useful.”_ _

__Ignoring his better judgement, Shisui sat and then stretched himself out on his stomach. “Why don’t you just sleep in my bed if you’re going to take all of my stuff?”_ _

__“It would be rude to sleep in your bed without invitation.” Itachi’s knee gave a crackling pop as he knelt down. Itachi set his coffee cup down with a clink._ _

__Shisui snorted. “Consider yourself invited. It’s not as if you didn’t used to.” Ignoring the huge gulf between then and now._ _

__“You don’t mean that.” Itachi set his hands on Shisui’s back. Shisui tensed, entire body drawing tight before he managed to slowly relax himself. Itachi didn’t say anything and simply waited for Shisui to relax. Itachi ran his hands up Shisui’s back, planting them on Shisui’s shoulder blades. He put most of his weight on Shisui, pressing him down, and then stopped. The pressure made it hard to breathe, but not as hard as waiting for Itachi to move. Not as hard as wondering why Itachi had stopped, what had stopped him, and what he was going to do when he moved again._ _

__Itachi sighed and sat back, hands sliding back down Shisui’s spine, spreading out to knead into the snarled mess of his back muscles. Shisui hissed a warning to Itachi, who simply dug in more. His hands were warming with the smallest application of chakra._ _

__“You need to take better care of yourself when I’m gone,” Itachi murmured._ _

__“No, you need some kind of motivation to come back here,” Shisui teased, but it fell flat. Shisui had sometimes wondered why Itachi didn’t just leave, but he knew. If anyone could break from a village and thrive, it would be Itachi. Shisui would never make it, but Itachi…_ _

__“Of course,” Itachi replied lightly. “Thank you for keeping my best interests in mind.” There’s something scathing in the politeness, but the sudden gentleness of Itachi’s fingers was far, far worse._ _


	6. 4. Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can see through you  
> We are the same  
> It's perfectly strange  
> You run in my veins  
> How can I keep you  
> Inside my lungs  
> I breathe what is yours  
> You breathe what is mine. . .  
> And I run from wolves  
> Tearing into me without teeth-  
>  _Wolves Without Teeth_ Mumford and Sons

Itachi knew how many Uchiha were left.

This was less difficult to discover than people pretended it was, but was easier for Itachi than most people. He had been a curious child, smart for his small size and age. He’d learned things easily and forgot them rarely, so he knew secrets about his family that Konoha didn’t suspect. He knew bloodlines and birthdates and, with his mother, had visited many of the remaining Uchiha when they were born.

Seiko, who had spit in his face, had held Itachi’s fingers in her chubby infant hand.

This was all useless knowledge. Dangerous knowledge, actually. It did not do anyone any good, Itachi least of all. He still held that knowledge. He thought someone should mark the passing of the Uchiha from the world, if only silently in his own mind. The Sharingan would be lost soon. Likely none of them would be allowed to have children. Still, Konoha kept that option open. Konoha kept many of their options open with their Uchiha, and the older Itachi got, the more he was aware of this.

For many years, it had just been enough to survive. It had been more than enough of a struggle to keep living and breathing and training to reach a place where Konoha would think they had benefited in keeping Itachi alive. He still didn’t know why he hadn’t been killed. He should have been. It made all the logical sense in the world to kill him, heir of the clan, strong bloodlines. They also should have killed him down in the cells, when they had figured out who Sasuke was. If they needed an Uchiha heir, then they had one in Sasuke. One who would be loyal to them.

One they had not tried to murder. One who had not known the people they cut down in the streets.

More and more often Itachi found himself picking over the “whys” of his life. He didn’t think it would benefit him to know the reasons behind what happened to him or the other Uchiha. He didn’t think it could change anything, but he wanted to know anyway. He wanted to know the limits and reasoning. He wanted to have some kind of ground to stand on. He thought that was how Konoha kept control over her Dogs. Their lives were ruled by a nonsensical set of “rules” that were whimsical and dangerous. Without logic, one had to always be intensely careful. Always on guard. Always ready.

Living under that constant strain took a toll on people. The mind and body knuckled under its relentless pressure and senseless persecution. They were already damaged creatures, fractures and scars and badly healed wounds under constant attack from all sides. Healing was impossible. Survival was difficult and fractious. Shisui was now the oldest Uchiha in Konoha, and Itachi was becoming ever more aware of this fact. It would be good when he could get out of Konoha and breath again.

Not that being outside of Konoha made an Uchiha safe. There were always other dangers to face. Itachi just preferred the honest attempts on his life as opposed to subterfuge he couldn’t combat without hamstringing Shisui.

Itachi pushed the thoughts out of his mind. He tried not to think too much about the other Uchiha or Konoha, especially when he was home and Shisui was home. He tried to think of their tiny apartment as safe, even though it never could be. At the very least, it had Shisui in it. Itachi almost spitefully tried to enjoy this. 

When Shisui got up, Itachi handed Shisui a hair brush as he started for the kitchen.

“Pay back for your back,” Itachi said.

“I thought that was your rent?” Shisui sounded incredulous, but he took the hair brush.

“You enjoyed it more than the rent was worth,” Itachi countered. Shisui grunted, unable to deny this but displeased with it.

“Are your hands all right?” Shisui asked as he pulled the half fallen braid from yesterday loose. Shisui then ran his hands over Itachi’s scalp, finger combing the loose hair completely free from the braid and also rubbing Itachi’s scalp with his fingers.

“No worse than usual.” Itachi sipped his tea and considered trying to brew the coffee again. The tea was not providing the kick he wanted. He still felt a little groggy. Saturated with fatigue and his eyes felt puffy. He hadn’t slept well.

“All that tells me is you still have hands, stoic one.” Shisui drew the brush through Itachi’s hair with his patent gentle meticulousness. Thorough but gentle. Itachi shivered at the sensation. He felt greedy. He thought of Shisui’s superstitions about living simply. The feeling that if they punished themselves enough, Konoha would be satisfied and leave them alone. This was the opposite feeling. The feeling that he had a right to something nice that he wanted simply because it made him feel good.

“I’m not a masochist, and I do feel pain, you know?” Itachi resisted the temptation to twist his head around.

“You don’t assign it the same value other people do,” Shisui pointed out. His fingers and palms brushed Itachi’s ears and neck and scalp erratically. This was better than not getting healed so Shisui would take care of his wounds. Itachi just had to keep thinking of things to “barter” for Shisui’s casual touches. Make it another game.

“I know a lot more about hurting and being hurt than other people do,” Itachi countered. Shisui’s hands stilled. It was the wrong thing to say, and Itachi instantly regretted it. Slowly, Shisui started dividing Itachis hair into sections. Itachi searched his mind for a better topic, but he couldn’t think of one. Shisui braided Itachi’s hair down neatly and evenly, and then undid the braid. He brushed it smooth, and then began to gather it back up.

“I wish I knew something fancier to do to your hair besides braid it…” Shisui finally said, sectioning Itachi’s hair out again. “I know knots, but I think that would be a bad idea.”

Itachi smiled a little, automatically hiding it behind his tea mug even though Shisui could not see his face. “You didn’t find what I got you, did you?”

“What did you get me?” Shisui asked, trying to pull Itachi’s head back with gentle pressure on his braid. Itachi resisted, but Shisui wouldn’t pull very hard. He’d seen too many people grab Itachi’s hair and use it to hold him down. Instead he put his hands on Itachi’s cheeks and tried to lever Itachi’s head back to make him look up. Itachi tensed his neck muscles and sipped from his tea. He felt the braid coming loose again.

“Nothing interesting.” Itachi shrugged, feeling Shisui’s fingers hook under his jaw and pull, digging into pressure points a bit. “You’ll find them at some point.”

“Are you hiding food all around the apartment like a mouse now?” Shisui demanded. Itachi finally allowed his head to fall back. Shisui’s face fell into a serious scowl at Itachi’s smile.

“You are not cute,” Shisui grumbled, but he was keeping eye contact intently. 

“My hands are fine.”

“I know.” Shisui let go and sighed. He smoothed Itachi’s hair again, finger combing it slowly before he began the braid again. “I’m starting to think you just like to order me around.” 

Itachi pretended to contemplate this. “I suppose that’s a possibility.” 

“You _suppose_ ,” Shisui grumbled and finally tied off the braid. He flicked it over Itachi’s shoulder in a way that conveyed disdain. “I’ve got to go torment the children again today. The Chuunin exams are coming up, and Sasuke still can’t activate his Sharingan at will.”

“You enjoy training them, don’t you?” Itachi hid his expression in his mug as Shisui glared at him.

Shisui’s expression changed, softening, turning inwards as he stared into a cabinet. “It’s not so bad. Now that they scream less, anyway.” Itachi snorted some of his tea. 

“All right, maybe I could have worded that better,” Shisui admitted. He rolled his eyes at Itachi, and when he saw Itachi still grinning he rolled them again. _I need to be home more._ The thought occurred to Itachi suddenly and desperately. Shisui was smiling, his movements fluid and easy and somehow bright. Itachi’s chest hurt, and he _wanted_ so intently and desperately for a moment he couldn’t breathe.

“It doesn’t matter much. I’ll be out of my cast soon and back to running missions. Someone has to start earning more money around here,” Shisui finally opened a cabinet. Luckily he hadn’t seen Itachi’s face.

“Do you want me to help you get back in shape?” Itachi asked as he watched Shisui fix himself breakfast, trying to look for whatever Itachi had hidden without seeming to look for it. 

“I’m going to do some stretches and strength building exercises starting . You’re right. My whole body is out from walking with the cast for so long. I’m going back to basics before I risk someone breaking my face,” Shisui decided as he dug around in a cabinet. Itachi felt smug as Shisui passed over one hiding place.

“I wouldn’t break your face,” Itachi promised in a monotone. Shisui leaned back from a cabinet to shoot Itachi a flat look.

“I broke your nose once. I was seven.” Itachi defended himself.

“Exactly. Think of what you could break now.” Shisui glanced back into the cabinet and frowned. He pointed a finger at Itachi. “How much coffee did you get anyway?”

“Enough?” Itachi didn’t shop often and had no idea how much coffee it took to make a cup of coffee. Shisui looked disgruntled still. Itachi took this as an excellent sign. Shisui fussing was playful. 

“You had better drink more than just that one cup. What kind of breakfast food did you buy us?”  
~  
Itachi had another day and a half with Shisui before ANBU snatched him away. He had repaired what he could of his armor, but he still needed to get replacements. Some of what he had repaired was rejected and scrapped. Itachi was evidently due for new boots, so he stood barefoot in a room while he waited for the boots and armor to appear. His hair was braided and twisted into a flat bun. He liked to have it secured to his head and anonymous as possible. He tried to seem more bored than attentive. As if waiting did not bother him.

Itachi had been a little shocked when he realized he was expected to go out alone. He would travel with another squad to the border, yes, but then he would be off on his own. It seemed too much like a test. He expected to be shadowed, although in previous “solo” missions, there had been no pretense of Itachi going out alone. He had simple been told he would perform the mission alone, and he would be accompanied. This new turn troubled him.

“Who pulled you?”

Itachi did not expect that voice. He turned and bowed carefully, no longer than needed. Natsu, captain of Itachi’s ANBU squad, looked him over critically. She was only a few years older than Itachi, but still leery of him. Itachi would be well within bounds to tell her all his missions were secret and she had no business asking. He didn’t belong to just her squad.

“It’s a solo run. Maybe a week,” Itachi offered. He clearly remembered the first time everything had gone deathly wrong with their mission. Itachi had been calculating how to circumvent whatever orders Natsu gave him and attempt to get them all out alive. That all stopped when Natsu pushed up her mask and pinned him with a stare both furious and desperate. She hadn’t even flinched as she demanded what they were supposed to do next. Itachi often wondered if they were all supposed to die on that mission. Natsu and the other two were ANBU, and therefore skilled, but they were not on Itachi’s level. That didn’t stop them from being thrown at the higher risk missions with him.

They were not friends, but Itachi trusted them. He knew what they would do and what they would not do, and Natsu was always frankly honest with him. She cared about not dying. Extending that care to Itachi beyond how he helped her fulfill that goal would be unwise. Unlikely. He was another tool in her hand and nothing more.

Things were less complicated that way, and if she sometimes did him the odd favor of delivering small tokens to his cousin, well, she could ask whatever she liked in return.

“Good. Squad 57 was going off for two months, and I don’t want you gone that long.” Natsu didn’t have much pull, but she suddenly had a squad that completed every disaster thrown at it. She could make a few demands. She started to withdraw, and then stopped. She looked Itachi over again, frowning.

“Have you lost weight, Itachi?” Less question than demand. The use of his given name only meant he had no family name anymore. There was no way to show him respect. It was Itachi or a slur. No, he supposed she could call him weasel if she wanted.

“It’s possible.” Itachi had not been keeping track of his weight. He assumed he would begin filling out now that he was mostly done growing, but had thus far remained a nearly gaunt specter. It didn’t hinder his performance. He couldn’t quite remember if either of his parents had been slender now.

Natsu nodded. “Have a physical when you get back. I’ll leave an order for it. Also, stop skipping getting healed post missions, even for minor things. I don’t want to have to wait for you to get healed if we need you. I’ll leave standing orders with the medics for that as well. There’s no excuse for taking poor care of your body.” Itachi nodded, wondering if Shisui and Natsu had any connections he was unaware of. Maybe this was her reaction to Itachi’s request to deliver the knotted string to Shisui.

Perhaps she had seen something she didn’t like in Shisui’s eyes.

Itachi nodded, bowing a fraction. “Understood, Captain.”

Natsu looked him over again, frown drawn between her brows. She still looked too contemplative for either of their goods. She looked almost worried. Was it this mission? Did she know something Itachi didn’t? “At ease. That’s all for now.” Natsu turned and left the room. Itachi watched her go, frowning faintly and trying to decide how worried he should be about her.

The retired ANBU in charge of the armory came out and put Itachi’s items down. He did not quite look at Itachi with contempt, but that was about it. He was always terse, but it had a different tone with Itachi. It was almost as if he didn’t want to look at Itachi. He didn’t want Itachi to be a thing, either because he was frightened or maybe he was ashamed. He was old enough to have known other Uchiha. Itachi dressed without a word, and then was subjected to a clinical tugged of straps, fingers pressed into the space between armor and body, and at last a resounding crack of chakra powered knuckles to the chest. The armor held. Itachi would have a bruise.

The man nodded and turned away. Itachi pulled on his gloves, secured his mask, and left. The mask did not give him any anonymity. Uncreatively, he had been giving the snarling face of a weasel. Itachi often wondered why his parents had given him a name like that, but it hardly mattered. Someone hissed something as Itachi went past, but he kept the snarling mask fixed straight ahead.

 _Bite down._ He told himself. He ignored the thought that one day he was going to bite off his own tongue.  
~  
Itachi completed the mission in three days instead of a week. Mostly that was because Itachi had gotten exceptionally lucky with his target being careless. He had also rushed a bit, not wanting to be away too long or give anyone a reason to criticize his performance. He felt certain they would find something to pick at, but he could make them reach for something. As far as he could tell, no one had followed him. Not until the very end.

It did not take long for Itachi to realize he was being followed. He had been expecting an ANBU tail, but evidently they really had left him alone for this mission--at least for awhile. It had started when he’d left the town where his target lived. Itachi had not been overly concerned, but now someone was following him. On the off chance it wasn’t ANBU, he hadn’t used much chakra in the murder, so Itachi simply turned and waited on a tree branch, summoning a few crows to canvas the area.

Hoshigake Kisame emerged from the trees and looked up at Itachi. No jutsu or tricks or disguises. This really was the same missing-nin who had tried to dismember Deer’s squad. Itachi looked down, and slowly pushed the mask off of his face. The man’s smile made Itachi want to instinctually climb up another few branches.

Not a genjutsu. Not some disguise. This was really the missing-nin.

“I didn’t think they’d let you out on your own.” The man’s voice was rough, like waves on the shore. Itachi descended two branches, walking slowly across one, then stepping casually three feet down to another branch. He stayed silent, red eyes and inscrutable Uchiha horror. Kisame watched, seeming amused.

“You’re not the first Uchiha I’ve known.”

Not seen, but known. Itachi stood and considered this. Kisame seemed content to stand and be considered. It could be he had reinforcements coming. It could be he wanted to finish up their fight. It could also be he would like to sell Itachi’s eyes on the black market. Or Itachi himself. He’d probably get a good price. Uchiha were a very rare commodity. Maybe he had already sold that Uchiha he “knew.”

Itachi finally wound his way to the ground. Kisame still just watched, that easy slash of teeth parodying a grin on his face. _Danger, danger, danger._ This was something as monstrous as Itachi. Itachi cocked his head a bit, regarding and waiting for some kind of reaction. Some flinch. Something other than amused curiosity with a blood thirsty edge.

 _He is not afraid of me._

Only on person existed who didn’t fear Itachi, and Shisui was so wrapped up in fear _for_ Itachi it often tasted the same.

“Did they cut out your tongue?” Kisame asked. “You should tell them your eyes are the dangerous part.”

Itachi came forward a few more feet, circling. Kisame let him. Itachi spiraled in, finally stopping only a few feet in front of Kisame. They were both deceptively relaxed. They were both ready for instant movement. Kisame looked over Itachi, taking every detail in. Storing it. Dissecting the odds of whether or not Itachi could eviscerate the man before he bashed Itachi’s head off of his shoulders.

They stood in silent regard. Itachi began to feel uncomfortably curious. Normally, people looked away. Shisui would have said or done something by now. Itachi, ironically, did not think of himself as a monster, but he realized now he was. He was standing here with another monster. _This is what you are._ Itachi felt his lips move into a smile.

“What other Uchiha have you known?” Itachi’s voice sounded almost laughably high and light in contrast to Kisame’s.

“Perhaps one’s I’ve killed. You know something very well after you’ve taken it apart,” The man dangled the information out of Itachi’s reach, but this was just another game. If he did not want Itachi to know, then he would have killed Itachi by now.

“No.” The word was soft, genjutsu a tangible taste in Itachi’s mouth as he stared the man in the eyes. “Perhaps you should tell me what you were asked to.”  
~  
“Oh.”

Itachi looked up from the scroll he was working on at the sound of Shisui’s voice. The tone was surprised, and Itachi quickly looked away from Shisui’s unguarded expression. Relief mingled too closely with something like delight.

“You’re back early.”

“I had an easy time.” Itachi explained. He looked up at Shisui, who had his expression better under control. Itachi met Shisui’s gaze until Shisui frowned, everything in his face firming into a more concrete expression. 

“What happened?” Shisui shrugged off his flak jacket and walked over to Itachi, starting to crouch and then sitting as his walking cast hindered him.

“Are you ever frightened of me?” Itachi asked instead of answering. Shisui’s quick answer seemed to get caught on his tongue, and his spine bent as he considered this. He looked down at the scroll Itachi had been working on. He looked up.

“Yes,” Shisui admitted slowly. He didn’t break contact with Itachi’s gaze. He smiled softly, the most gradual curve of his lips. “You are the most terrifying thing in the world to me, Itachi.” His voice was soft, rough and intimate and physically painful.

“But you’re afraid of what could happen to me. You’re not afraid of what I could do to you,” Itachi attempted to clarify.

“No. I’m terrified of what you could do to me.” It was almost an admonishment. “Of what you can and could do in general.” A small smile. Itachi kept staring at Shisui, what stared back until his eyes and head dipped a bit.

“You are the most amazing thing in this world, and I would be an idiot not to be afraid of you.”

“You’ve spent too long around gennin,” Itachi countered, feeling uncomfortably queasy and flushed and something beyond description. 

“And you’ve been around ANBU too long.” Shisui moved to stand. He wavered, and Itachi automatically reached out and grabbed Shisui’s hand to steady him. Shisui clutched and pulled against Itachi’s weight. His hand was dry and calloused. Scarred and worn. His nails were short and rough and cracked. 

_I love you._

Shisui balanced himself and let go of Itachi’s hand. “I ate supper on the way home. What do you want?”

Itachi had a dozen different answers to that. He had actions that would answer it. They all bubbled up underneath his skin. He thought of Kisame’s tooth filled grin. He thought of what it felt like to be terrified, frightened, angry. He thought of Shisui’s back under his fingers, and all the little games they played with Konoha and each other. How they teased and feinted and sidestepped the killing blows as if this would never catch up to them.

“Did you get injured?” Shisui asked as he began fixing Itachi food without an answer.

“No.” Itachi lied. He’d gotten healed as ordered. He was tired of the games. 

Shisui stopped and looked at Itachi again. “Itachi, what happened?” It was a tone that somehow promised some kind of relief to Itachi if he’d speak. Kisame’s words rolled through Itachi’s head. Everything unspoken and unacknowledged about Konoha and his “cousin” and even himself seemed to choke off Itachi’s attempts to breathe.

“I used too much chakra.” Itachi lied. “I’m going to bed.” Shisui’s lips thinned.

“Itachi.” The apartment was small enough it only took steps to be near someone. Shisui interposed himself between Itachi and the bedroom. Normally, Itachi would capitulate and allow himself to be herded to the table to drink tea while Shisui made food and they traded tidbits about the past few days. It would be calming and assuring and soft after the hard day.

It would be more than Itachi could stand at this point..

Itachi stepped easily around Shisui. “Good night.” It wasn’t the worst dismissal. Not cold enough to worry over, but a statement Itachi would do as Itachi wanted and not as Shisui wanted. Shisui, as usual, would let Itachi be. Itachi stooped to habitually grab Shisui’s pillow and then dropped it. He heard Shisui reluctantly move back towards the kitchen, trying to muffle all noise so Itachi could sleep.

“Bite down.” Itachi told himself softly. Become the untouchable monster.

Because that was what was safest for them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the lovely comments! They help keep me motivated. C:


	7. 5. Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reality is something other people dream for your. - Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater

Something had happened to Itachi, but he refused to talk about it. Shisui had been shut down at every inquiry, and Itachi maintained an unnerving silence. It was not the terrified lock down of his childhood, so Shisui reluctantly let it go. It didn’t ease the feeling of anxiety he carried. Something had happened. Itachi didn’t want to talk about it, or he couldn’t yet. Oddly Shisui could hope it was just Shisui Itachi was keeping these secrets from, and not ANBU or Konoha. 

Almost worse was Shisui kept catching Itachi looking at him. Not the normal, tracking your movements look, but a deeper, more internal contemplative look that looked too much like Itachi working himself up to an internal resolve. Shisui held back from asking. He didn’t want to know.

Shisui didn’t know how wide spread some of the clan’s secrets were with the Dogs, or how much Konoha knew. They were very good reasons not to be important to an Uchiha.

There was a way to make Konoha’s untouchable monster stronger.

Shisui and Itachi never discussed their former clan or its secrets, much less what they did or didn’t know about them. Shisui suspected, much like Shisui, Itachi knew more than his years should have allowed. They had both been precocious, budding genius children in a clan where skill mattered far more than age ever did.

Shisui arrived to the training grounds utterly distracted with thoughts of Itachi and Konoha and treachery. To his surprise no one was there. Shisui had browbeaten Team 7 into being early, so they could be properly warmed up by the time he arrived. Naruto ran chronically late, until Sakura had begun taking the time to go by his apartment in the mornings. Shisui had forced the issue a bit with shared punishment, but after Naruto repeatedly didn’t make the time and being scolded by Sakura and sneered at by Sasuke failed to fix the problem, Sakura had started taking matters into her own hands.

Although the gesture had not been selfless, it had started to form a bond between the two. They still quarreled, but it had a less antagonistic edge. Sasuke still stood on the outskirts of the group, but maybe that couldn’t be helped. Maybe that would be for the best. Shisui had the uneasy thought that Sakura was the more…expendable teammate. It might just be the best thing for everyone is Sasuke stayed just a bit aloof.

Shisui had almost decided his team were all running late or had plain run away when he heard the softest of noises. He pretended not to notice, easing down on a stump and sighing. He stretched his leg out, rubbing his hip as he listened hard behind him. They’d hidden themselves well. Where would they try to ambush him? Here? Would they try to lure him somewhere else? Were they simply waiting for him to go away?

This smelled of a prank, but with a brutal application. Show Shisui how much they had learned on his last day with them. Prove their skill and worth to their grudging teacher and test themselves against one of Konoha’s Dogs. Shisui relaxed. He wondered if pretending to doze would draw them out, but that seemed extreme. Surely they would see through that deception. He tapped his fingers on his leg. How long could Naruto stand being still? Not much longer, surely. He had to be dying to launch whatever attack they had planned.

The fireball lacked in size, heat, and speed, but it was a good attempt. Shisui rolled to the side to avoid it easily. Hundreds of Naruto’s clones appeared around him. Shisui carefully displaced himself with one of the clones, now disguised as himself before he stepped away. His knee and ankle were still partially immobilized, but the breaks were basically healed. He didn’t have to worry about injuring himself. Steel wires whipped up from the ground around Shisui, and he stepped again, wavering as he landed on the tree branch beside Sakura.

“Excellent job,” Shisui began as Sakura looked up at him in wide-eyed terror bordering on shock. She was reacting, reaching for a kunai, but someone else had predicted Shisui’s movements. Shisui let his weight carry himself down under the tree branch as Naruto appeared with a battle roar. He obviously meant to hit Shisui in the face. This evasion brought Shisui face to face with Sasuke’s red-eyed assault, another fireball bursting at Shisui from point blank range. He pitied Sakura and Naruto, but the shock of the Sharingan was enough to slow Shisui’s reaction. His hair crackled and sizzled, singed before he vanished across the trees, back to the ground the clone army had cleared.

He didn’t bother hiding, but stood instead, waiting for their next move with his hands in his pocket. And a grin on his face.

“You lost the element of surprise,” Shisui called to them.

“You lost your eyebrows!” Naruto, or one of his clones, shouted. Those that had survived the assault has dispersed into the trees, and Shisui could see them shifting around in the underbrush. It set his teeth on edge, hearing so many opponents.

“Which one of you scared Sasuke?” Shisui asked, tracking the clones’ movements. He was ready when they moved, surging out with bellowing war cries that bordered on shrill. They were a distraction, Sakura and Sasuke hit the ground, Sakura going for a direct assault while Sasuke’s hands wove through signs. He was fast.

_Your brother is faster._

Shisui turned the ground to mud under Sakura. She managed to stay on top of it, barely, struggling with her chakra control, distracted from him for a moment too long. Shisui grabbed her. Shisui bore them both to the ground, out of the path of the fireball, hand fisted in her shirt. Hitting the ground knocked all the air out from her, but in an instant she had her legs around Shisui’s arm. If he’d been willing to break her spine of ribs, it wouldn’t have been a wise move.

But, he wasn’t. Had she overlooked this possible damage, or had she known he wouldn’t hurt them?

Naruto’s remaining clones descended, and Shisui realized Sakura was sacrificing herself to keep him from making any signs. He met her grimly determined eyes, the vicious set of her jaw, the satisfaction that he realized her plan too late.

The clones were going to explode. The realizations all happened in an instant on top of each other. She was sacrificing herself for her team, and they were _letting her._ He realized it all when he met Sakura’s eyes right before his bled red and he commanded her “ _Let go._ ” He saw her shock as she did. The clones exploded, dozens of tiny bursts, but Sakura and Shisui were across the clearing, the dazed girl cradled to Shisui’s chest as he whipped to face Sasuke and Naruto in a fury.

Everything was covered in pink chalk.

Shisui stared in shock. Not exploding tags, but chalk bombs. Not an assault meant to injure Shisui at Sakura’s expense, but a prank. A harmless, child’s way of showing Shisui what they had learned from him, harking back to his endless drills with the exploding clones. Shisui and Sasuke’s red-eyed stares met across the clearing, right before Sasuke vanished. Right before he came at Shisui with a kunai. Tossing Sakura over a shoulder, Shisui grabbed Sasuke’s arm and threw him down. Shisui just barely braced himself as Naruto dropped out of the trees, kamikaze style, with a final, ridiculously large chalk bomb. The muffled pop filled the air with bright pink chalk, and Shisui let Sasuke kick his legs out from under him. He hit the ground, taking care not to land on Sakura, and, despite himself and everything, began to laugh.  
-  
“Okay. You all pass in my book.”

“Your leg is still in a cast,” Sakura pointed out. Naruto had also treated the chalk with something that made it stickier and stained everything. Sasuke had tried to wash it off and just made it worse. They were all bright pink.

“You worked pretty damn well together, and you were ready to do what needed to be done.” Shisui wiped his chalk from his hands. No matter how many time he did that, there still seemed to be more clinging to him. “You did well.”

“And you were holding back from hurting us,” Sasuke added. He kept glancing at Shisui’s eyes, as if expecting (maybe hoping) to see the Sharingan there. They had been roughed up. Shisui had still bruised Sakura’s sternum sternum, color up to her collarbones. Sasuke’s arm was badly wrenched, but Naruto seemed to be perfectly fine.

“But we did awesome! We totally won,” Naruto crowed. The chalk bombs had been his idea. He still rode high from his idea being chosen, even if Sakura and Sasuke had been the strategic minds behind this.

Sakura grinned, but remained oddly quiet. She had been the one who’d felt Shisui’s strength first hand. He hadn’t held much back in his thought they were both about to be injured. She had a head-ache, and Shisui had given her a mild pain killer for that. He should have trained them more with genjutsu, especially in breaking it.

“We beat Shisui-sensei!” Naruto jumped into the air, double fist pumps, and Sasuke smirked. Sakura grinned a little. Shisui stopped short of gaping.

“We passed, Naruto. There’s a difference,” Sakura pointed out.

“We made you activate the Sharingan.” Naruto rounded on Shisui, who was still stunned by hearing himself called “sensei.” Did they call him this when he wasn’t around?

“You did,” Shisui admitted.

“If you’d done that earlier and let me watch, I could have mastered it more quickly,” Sasuke added.

“So have you mastered it?” Shisui asked. In response, Sasuke’s eyes jerked red. It took obvious effort, and sweat broke out over his face. He swallowed. There was so much stubborn pride in his face, Shisui almost couldn’t look at him.

“Yes.”

Well, time would smooth out the kinks. Shisui shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. You learned it just in time, and you’ll all be ready for the Chuunin exams in a few weeks. At the very least you won’t be an embarrassment.”

“Why don’t you just keep teaching us until then?” Naruto demanded.

Shisui rapped his knuckles on his cast. “I have been bored out of my mind. As soon as they cut this thing off, I’m signing up for the longest mission possible.” Not in the least because it was rare Itachi and Shisui were allowed out of Konoha at the same time. If Shisui was sent off on an extended mission, maybe Itachi would have time to rest. Hopefully he could behave that long. Shisui was hoping that might help with whatever was making Itachi so silent, but maybe it would chafe to be stuck here in Konoha so long. It was that way for Shisui. He longed to be outside. On missions, there was at least a bit more freedom. More danger, but ANBU didn’t follow him through the streets, and those who attacked him were fair game for reprisal.

Maybe he had enjoyed teaching this team, but he couldn’t wait for things to get back to normal. He had to meet with Inoichi after he got his cast off, to report on Team 7’s progress and get his assignments for his next missions worked out. While he was there he’d ask if he could be sent to the border or something.

“Are you going to be here to watch the exams?” Sakura asked.

“Yeah, you have to come watch us kick butt,” Naruto added. Sasuke just looked at Shisui. It hadn’t occurred to him that, beyond this display, they’d have any desire to show him their skills and improvements. They had improved. Shisui found he did, actually, want to see how the performed in regards to their own age group. Would they stand up to other country’s gennin? He wanted them to. The fierce surge of pride he felt for this annoying little preteens took him by surprise.

“I only go where Konoha tells me,” Shisui held up his hands. This resulted in grumbles from Naruto until Shisui agreed to show up if he were in Konoha. Shisui sent them on their way and told Sakura to rest. She and Naruto tried to convince Sasuke to go get ramen with them, but he refused. He was going to go home and scrub the chalk off of himself. Before they left, they all shared a conspiratorial look, and bowed in unison, saying in less unison “Thank you for teaching us, Shisui-sensei.”

Shisui grinned. “You know, I think there’s time for one more drill…” Three vague drifting clouds of chalk drifted through the air where students had been a moment before. Shisui shook his head.

Okay, maybe he was going to miss them.  
-  
Shisui had something else to thank Team 7 for. They had given him the perfect idea for dealing with Itachi. For once it was nice that people stared at him because he was a pink tinted ninja, not because he was a Dog. There was no shame for being caught on the wrong end of hazing. Simply pride. A sense of accomplishment.

Happy. Shisui was happy. Down to his bones and into his blood stream, he was _happy._

And Itachi was about to be happy too, whether he wanted to or not. 

“I got you something.”

Itachi, dressed in black and looking annoyed at the world as well as pensive, stopped dead. He looked at Shisui, perfectly capable of knowing Shisui had an illusion over himself. Itachi looked at the little box. He looked at Shisui. The box, brows drawing down.

Shisui tried to keep his grin from being too wide as he watched Itachi struggle with some internal conflict before he let out a long sigh.

“Fifty-two.”

“Crystal clear.”

“Supper.”

“Broken bones.”

Itachi gave Shisui an intense look of scrutiny, but didn’t activate his Sharingan. The old code was mostly nonsense based equally on past events and their everyday lives. Shisui was surprised he remembered the sequence, as Itachi had decided on it and therefore it was slightly whimsical in its logic and complex. 

Itachi picked up the box. Shisui’s grin got wider, and Itachi’s expression flattened into extreme distaste. A look that said he knew perfectly well something was up. Shisui had not fooled him at all. As Shisui kept grinning, Itachi sighed again, longer and more drawn out. The perfect “you’re an idiot, and I know this is a trick, but I’m doing it anyway” sigh.

The pop was soft, a non explosive blast of wind. Shisui yelped with dismay as Itachi, at the last minute, directed the opening of the box at Shisui as well. It didn’t save Itachi from the torrent of confetti and glitter that suddenly filled the small apartment. Shisui had been proud of how much he’d managed to fit in the box, and the rather mundane use of high level jutsu he’d done it with. It seemed delightfully frivolous. Wasteful.

The results had been better than expected. Everything was covered in small bits of colored paper and sparkling bits of plastic. The blast of wind had blown chalk off of Shisui to waft in the air as well, and Shisui had dropped the illusion. Itachi stood perfectly still, face scrunched up a bit, eyes shut. He seemed to be slowly coming to terms with this development.

When Itachi opened his eyes, he snorted at the sight of Shisui. Shisui caught the quick flash of a smile, before Itachi tossed the box back to him. “You really don’t have anything better to do with your time?”

“It made you smile and stop brooding,” Shisui pointed out, still smiling. “And you can blame Team 7.”

Itachi shook his head, outwardly dismissive and exasperated. “You did that purely for your own enjoyment.”

“All very true. I enjoy making you smile and breaking up your teenaged funks.” Shisui leaned over and pulled another box out of hiding, sliding it towards Itachi. “And that is also for you. You can blame Team 7 for that one as well.”

Itachi looked discomfited by something. Shisui found the addition of multicolored sparkles to Itachi’s hair and complexion charming. He would miss spending this much time with Itachi when he got back on active mission duty. It seemed like it had been years since they’d had days together to do more than check in and make sure the other wasn’t dead.

Itachi looked at the second box, and shot Shisui and accusing look. Shisui shrugged. Itachi could risk opening the box or not. His choice. Itachi slowly drew the box over, greed out weighing his caution. He slowly nudged the box open, caution softening into something else. Lips curling just a bit as he glanced up at Shisui.

Shisui shrugged. “I’m heading back out on missions soon. It’s a celebration. No more Team 7. No more cast. Everything is back to normal.”

Itachi pulled a stick of dango from the box. It was from an expensive sweets shop that absolutely did not cater to Uchiha. Sakura had bought the dango for him. Shisui could frame it as some kind of training later if it came up. Right now, it was all worth it to see Itachi take the first bite.

But he didn’t look as happy as Shisui had expected.

“What?”

“Does leaving make you this happy?” Itachi asked it slowly, with more gravity than the question deserved in Shisui’s mind.

“Yes and no.” Shisui leaned on the counter. “I’ll miss being around you, but I won’t miss being in Konoha all the time.” Shisui hadn’t realized how much he missed being around Itachi. Peculiar, odd, monstrous, dangerous Itachi, now covered in glitter and nibbling on dango as if it were some rare delicacy. Shisui suddenly shifted forward, and something caught in his chest. Some word. Some action. Some impulse that lodged in his inner workings and pulled him to a stop.

Itachi glanced at Shisui, that knowing look in his eyes that made Shisui think he knew why Shisui had frozen up like that, but he wasn’t about to tell. “Just be careful. You’re out of condition.” The concern was mocking.

“This is my last ounce of frivolity. I am the most careful creature from here on out,” Shisui promised. Itachi looked amused and tragic, and Shisui just wanted to…

Shisui carefully closed off that thought. He’d leaned forward, and Itachi watched him almost warily. No. Hungrily. Waiting. Expecting.

Shisui poked Itachi on the nose. “When have I ever lied to you?”

“You lie to me all the time,” Itachi almost whispered.

“And you’re so truthful.” Shisui mocked. He hadn’t realize he was this close to Itachi. Itachi turned his head, expression cutting and intent. Shisui had one moment of panic. One moment of terrified fear as all his errors lined up and he remembered why being happy was a lie. A trap. Something not for them, because it made him _forget_ so much. It made him careless.

Itachi had always been more truthful, and he was in the way he grabbed Shisui’s flak vest, holding him still in a steel grip. Itachi was the kind of truthful that killed people. And Shisui was a creature of lies and deceit, doing everything to stay alive.

This was why Itachi was so dangerous. So frightening.

Itachi was truthful in the way he became fed up with impossibilities and lies and carefully burned everything but the stark truth away with actions. This was the truth. This was the possible. This was reality.

And this was Itachi at his most brutally truthful, as his lips hit the edge of Shisui’s mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A happy chapter?? Sorry for the delay. I have been struggling with the sequence of events. I didn't want to drag things on for too long (not that anything is settled, oh no). I promise not to leave you with this cliffhanger for a week.


	8. 6. Awry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _But for the longest time I knew_  
>  There was nothing left for us to do  
> But I tried, oh, I tried  
> Hunger-Of Monsters and Men

Itachi wasn't sure what he had expected kissing someone to be like. Less, he hadn’t really considered what kissing _Shisui_ would be like now, only remembering kisses to foreheads and scraped knuckles in years past. It should be like that: a comforting display of affection. It seemed almost like a thing he should do, a gateway to breaking down the barriers to touch Shisui so steadfastly maintained (except when he didn’t).

It was like touching a live wire without the pain.

It had seemed safer to aim for the corner of Shisui’s mouth rather than the middle, give noses and angles and Itachi’s needed speed to land a kiss before Shisui pulled away. The contact was an immediate rush of heat and tingling chill straight down his spine. His stomach clenched and knotted unpleasantly. It was an abstract desire suddenly becoming concrete, urgent, and not at all what Itachi expected.

_Oh._

Itachi’s planned speeches and reasoning he should have launched as soon as Shisui yanked back vanished. The need to kiss Shisui again superseded everything else, Itachi’s blood was too loud in his ears, and he felt he had caught Shisui’s earlier euphoria. Every inch of skin felt hyper sensitive.

“What?” Itachi cut off Shisui’s tightly controlled speech, probably something about biting down. Shisui stumbled. He blinked and stared at Itachi.

“What?”

“I didn’t hear what you were saying.” Itachi apologized, still feeling giddy. He suddenly got why Shisui, for all his paranoia, still slept with Anko. Itachi wasn’t smiling, but only barely. His face felt oddly out of his control. Shisui looked like someone had just cut him open. Under the pink chalk he had gone pale, something putrid bubbling up in his eyes. Itachi had known there would be fallout for kissing Shisui, and now he scrambled to get back on track for controlling it.

Itachi stood up. “Shisui.”

“ _Don’t_.” The word was low and tight, and Itachi yanked his hand back. Everything previously warm inside him turned cold. Dark. Itachi pushed aside the sudden doubt. How could Shisui have that reaction? Did he feel none of the same giddiness? Was he just used to it?

A bigger, more pervasive doubt pushed forward: Itachi had misread everything, and Shisui’s affection was nothing more than Konoha’s demand he control Itachi. It made no sense for Shisui to have any kind of affection for Itachi, given everything he endured just to keep Itachi alive, but that wasn’t who Shisui was. It was not what _they_ were.

“Why not.” Itachi made a small hand motion, indicating the glitter and dango. They had played and hinted at this for years, and there could be no denial it existed. It was not some secret. They had no secrets. Only lies. Shisui’s reasons were all things Shisui didn’t want to say. They were not allowed to be happy. Any sign of happiness would give Konoha incentive to take whatever was making them happy away. To punish them for thinking they deserve anything but misery.

Itachi grappled with the anger, directed both at Konoha and Shisui. “How much are you going to let them take from you, Shisui?”

Shisui didn’t flinch, but it was there in his eyes. His anger was a tightly controlled power. “I am keeping them from taking anything else from us.”

“By giving up everything that matters before they can take it from you?” Itachi stepped towards Shisui, who jerked back. “Shisui.” Itachi needed Shisui to think _and_ feel his way through this. Logic would only get them so far.

“Itachi.” Shisui’s return volley had everything in it. Back down. Bite down. Think about it. As a child Itachi had followed Shisui’s wisdom because he didn’t know how else to live, and then he had followed it because Shisui asked it of him. He had seen it as taking care of Shisui. Protecting him in the same way Shisui had protected Itachi, because fighting against Shisui would hurt them both. Worse, taking apart Shisui’s carefully cultured illusions and rituals and exposing the truth of their existence might be the final indignation for Shisui. He would never thank Itachi for any of this, but he might tolerate it. He might even survive it.

Or, Itachi was about to destroy the only thing that still mattered to him with his own hands

“No.” 

Itachi watched Shisui’s jaw clench, his eyes dart to the side. He could practically hear Shisui admonishing himself for all his laspes. Shisui would berate himself being so frivolous and encouraging Itachi’s advances. Itachi could feel the resistance between them. The tension built and stretched. If Shisui would explode, Itachi could do something with that. Itachi could work with anything that wasn’t Shisui compacting his emotions back down, creating more pressure on his fractured self, bringing them both closer to a final collapse.

Shisui sighed, a defeated gasp of air. _No._ Itachi wasn’t going to allow that. Itachi stepped closer.

“There is nothing either of us can do to make Konoha think you’re not important to me. Why does this matter? They don’t care how little or how much I love you or how, just that you are the most important thing to me.” Itachi asked pressed, pushing at the wounds he knew Shisui had. Shisui had backed into the wall.

“It matters, because _this_ \--” Shisui made a hand motion that could have indicated lips or bodies. “--is something else they use against us. The more specific information you give them, the better aimed their attacks are.” Shisui made another agitated motion and stepped away from the wall. He ran his hands through his hair, throwing off chalk and glitter. “The last thing they need is something _else_ as leverage.”

“They don’t need any more leverage. They've already won. We’re already dead.” The words came out far more bitter than Itachi intended, but he’d found the wound to pry into. The damaged flesh that gave under his words.

Shisui rounded on Itachi, vicious a a wounded animal. This was why Konoha called them dogs. Inside every one of them lived the abused animal, cornered and fearful and ready to tear into anything to survive. Konoha had made them, and Itachi had to admire the artistry. They had done such a wonderful job ensuring no Uchiha would ever be able to work together again. 

“We’re still alive.” Shisui’s voice almost held a growl.

“For what end?” Itachi demanded. “Why?” He hated this. He hated hurting Shisui, but he didn’t know any other way.

Shisui just looked at Itachi, smouldering anger and hurt. He had spent so long keeping them alive, and Itachi knew what it would feel like to have his lifelong goal questioned. Keeping them alive had been hard enough. What else did Itachi want? What else did he want from Shisui?

 _I’m so sorry._ Itachi wanted to say. Shisui did not deserve him. He did not deserve what was about to come, but Itachi was determined. He had committed. Konoha wasn’t taking Shisui from him, not this way, not in any way. 

Shisui’s dark eyes pinned Itachi. “Would you rather be dead?” 

Itachi pressed his lips into a thin line. He knew the proper response. He took too long to respond. He looked away from Shisui.

“If I were dead, wouldn’t it be easier for you?” This was one of those things Itachi had never meant to say. Shisui did not respond. He was looking away too, eyes distant. Maybe he counted all the times Itachi’s punishment had been shunted to him. Maybe he considered all the times he had shielded Itachi, begged for him, and who knew what Shisui had done when Itachi had been too young to understand.

How much had he suffered, all for the sake of keeping Itachi alive? How much was he still going to suffer for one desperate decision as a child? When he had asked them not to murder Itachi, had he known what he was asking?

“Likely.”

Knowing something intellectually was vastly different from hearing it from someone’s lips. Itachi had not expected Shisui to admit that, but he had just been doing the same to Shisui. Turnabout was fair play, but it hurt in a way Itachi hadn't prepared for.

“ _Living_ isn’t easy,” Shisui went on.

“So why do you take the easiest path and call it a life?” Itachi brought Shisui to a full stop there. What was it like when the dog you raised turned around and savaged you?

Someone hammered on the door. They both jumped. Both terrified creatures caught in a trap. Itachi heard someone wrenching the knob like they might break it. Itachi stepped to the door.

“Wait…” Shisui moved his hands and a blast of wind took most of the glitter off of Itachi. Itachi wished he hadn’t, but he nodded to Shisui and opened the door. An ANBU stood there.

“You need to refile your report,” The anonymous voice spoke.

Itachi felt his heart sink. He supposed he should be glad it had been this long since ANBU had decided to punish him this way. “Is that so?” Itachi tried for uninterested. He glanced back at Shisui, who was frowning. Nervous. Worried. Guilty. They were always so guilty, both of them. They had just been tearing each other apart, but suddenly they were united again.

Itachi looked at Shisui harder, and Shisui actually stepped back. Did he see some kind of intent in Itachi’s eyes? The bubbling rebellion? Was he afraid Itachi would deliver one final injury before ANBU whisked him away? Itachi should. He should press the advantage. Take Shisui’s legs out from under him and make him think.

“Thank you.” Itachi gave Shisui the suggestion of a bow before stepping out the door.  
-  
Itachi ended up doing a lot of paperwork. His reports had to be systematic and precise, to avoid anyone trying to say he had misled or hidden information. This resulted in a pedantic, incredibly dry and detailed report. Itachi hoped no one actually read them, but he hadn’t been brave enough to slip a few . . .jokes in to test that theory. A solo mission report required everything to be in intense detail, especially when Itachi was leaving something out.

Itachi knew his report had not gone missing as was said. Still, he was taken down to a small room, and made to write everything out again. Itachi faithfully reprinted the entire report, word for word. After that, he waited for a few hours until Ibiki came in to question Itachi on what had happened and why. Itachi then wrote the report again. He expanded it this time, adding things, never redacting anything.

Questions circled in his head. Did Shisui hate him? Had Itachi just ruined a perfect afternoon? Would he accomplish anything but hurting them both? Maybe he was capable of nothing but hurt. Maybe he couldn't heal or protect, only destroy.

When all that was done, Itachi was certain the night was gone. His eyes felt gritty, and he still had the gnawing sensation in his gut. Shisui’s expressions and words chased around in his head. He doubted himself and his methods. As he was dismissed, Itachi stared at the paper Ibiki handed him.

“Really?” The word came out before Itachi could stop it. Or maybe he didn’t want to stop it. Maybe ANBU would swallow him whole and never let him out if he said one word too many enough times.

Ibiki almost smirked. “You’re getting paid this time, and report back in five hours. You have a mission briefing.” Itachi thinned his lips and took the payment voucher. It was a pain in the ass to get these turned into anything worthwhile, and Itachi would likely spend the next few hours getting all of that sorted out. That wouldn't leave him time with Shisui, and the wound he’d opened up in Shisui would close up and fester.

Itachi tried to set that out of his mind and went to work navigating the paper maze ANBU had set him too.He had to wonder about this tactic. How much of his life and Shisui’s life while here was taken up with pedantic stalling tactics meant to waste time? How often was their time together truncated by Konoha purposefully so fights were patched up haphazardly or not at all?

Itachi gave himself a mental shake. He shuffled back up a few flights and into another room to wait. He was distracted and he knew it. He should be paying more attention to the people around him. He should be hurrying so he could get back to Shisui, provided Shisui didn’t avoid him. Instead he went wandering through the building, checking in rooms until he saw the back of Anko’s head. Itachi stepped briefly into the room, looking around as if trying to decide if this were where he was supposed to be before stepping out.

Itachi appearance caused a ripple of attention, and it wasn’t long before he heard footsteps behind him. Itachi paused and looked back to see Anko approaching him. “I didn’t know you actually went outside anymore.”

Itachi gave her a nodding bow. “Anko-san.”

“Don’t bother with that.” Anko waved it away. “What brings you here?”

“Paper work,” Itachi explained, displaying a bundle of loose papers.

“Does Shisui talk so much because you don’t talk at all?” Anko asked. The hall wasn’t empty, but people mostly noticed and went on their way. Everyone was aware of Itachi and Anko, and the casual way she spoke to him. Itachi doubted anyone didn’t know she often slept with Shisui. It had been happening for years now.

“Perhaps,” Itachi said it just to watch Anko smirk. Her body posture was aggressive. She stood closer than most would, angling her body in towards him. It could be seen as antagonistic. In reality she was shielding his words and body posture from casual glances.

“When it started, did Shisui approach you first?” Itachi asked it softly, head canted to the side. He always spoke softly, the dull monotone and careful inflection enough to unnerve most people. He hadn’t really come to ask that, but he was here now. He was curious.

Anko looked a little surprised, but she caught his meaning. “No, I kissed his drunk ass and he fell over himself running away. Took him about a week to decide a little action wouldn’t kill him. Are you making a plan of attack?” Anko’s curved smile reminded Itachi of Kisame’s. _You’re not the first Uchiha I’ve known._ Itachi stilled that thought. That was for later.

“Comparing experiences.” Itachi kept his eyes down. If Konoha threw him back outside the walls, Shisui would need someone watching out for him who had some idea of the situation.

“ _Oh_? Several large bets have just been lost. Are you warning me off?” Anko didn’t seem displeased by this.

Itachi’s lips twitched. “No.”

Anko’s eyebrow quirked. “I thought you’d be the possessive type.”

“You’re not the one I’m worried about taking him,” Itachi demurred. He glanced up at Anko. “Things may be difficult for him for a while.” This was an understatement. If nothing else, Shisui would have Anko here. 

She cocked an eyebrow. “Is that so?” She pushed two fingers into his chest and leaned in. Itachi glanced at her eyes, catching concern. For Shisui? For him? Itachi looked away. He knew Anko. She’d taught him to braid his hair. Through Shisui, she had decided that being semi-friendly with Itachi when he was younger pleased her. They had a common interest in Shisui, and she liked the suggestion she might sleep with Itachi as well.

Itachi gave a small nod.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Anko promised lowly. Itachi flicked his eyes to her, and then flinched badly when she kissed his temple. Anko laughed, loud and brash at this supposed assault, and sauntered away. They’d spent too long talking, and it wouldn’t do for people to ask too many question. 

Itachi turned and walked down the hall, heading for the exit. He was distracted by the warmth of his cheek and Anko’s promise. He thought of Shiusi and Kisame and Konoha and he head seemed too full of conflicting interests and narratives. He didn’t recognize the noise. These places were always noisy. Buildings were every kind of ninja came and went, back and forth, all kinds.

Even students.

Itachi froze, his hand on the door. He listened to the noises of the children on the other side. He needed to stay in Konoha. He needed to talk to Shisui again. He needed time, and he was never going to be allowed that time, he knew. Konoha would see to that. Whether or not they knew what they were doing, or if this were just how things always went, Itachi couldn’t quite guess.

Itachi’s body had already drawn tight. He could feel his heart pounding already. This was suicide. This was worse than stupid. Anko was just down the hall. She was a poison expert, and likely carried some kind of sedative on her even here.Would she be the one who came? Would it be someone else? Itachi swallowed the taste of copper and opened the door.

They were young. They were such small and awkward creatures. Itachi avoided children. He avoided _people_. He was mostly around Shisui and high level shinobi who were still and silent unless they had some kind of intent. Children were the opposite. They were noisy, jerky movement, shouts, shrill voices.

The children were herded into a small group, surrounded by older shinobi.

_Which one is this. How old is it? Faceless masks, devoid of anything. Children crying, screaming, huddled and herded into a group. Being pulled out one by one._

_How old are you?_

_Who are your parents? Children crying, some blank faced and already covered in blood. One screaming continually over everything else._

_How old are you?_

_Which house is yours?_

Itachi tried to stay where he was, but he’d known that would be futile. He’d given up control when he’d opened that door. Now there were only consequences. Itachi went back into the hall and all was well. Everything was fine. He had orchestrated that. He was in control It was not. He was not. All he had to do was get back to Anko. A dose of sedatives, and he’d be useless for anything for twenty-four hours or more, especially if she had to poison him to do it. He could hold it together for that long.

One of the children screamed.

Itachi yanked his turtleneck over his mouth and nose, pressing back into the wall as he shut his eyes. Adult voices raised, probably scolding. Calling children to order. Itachi tried to regulate his breathing, reining it in. He could _feel_ mindless terror rising up from the floor to devour him. He could do nothing for his heart beat, but he could breathe deeply and evenly through the suffocating fabric of his shirt, which smelled like nothing. Panic clamped down on Itachi’s spine. It smelled like Itachi’s breath and nothing else.

Like he had his hands clamped over his mouth and was trying to stifle his gasps. Trying not to be seen or heard or will himself out of existence. Praying desperately not be be found and drug out of hiding, out into the street with the other kids.

_What do we have here? A little mouse hiding from the cats? A tiny little red-eyed rat?_

Someone spoke. Itachi’s eyes snapped open, and the Chuunin flinched back from the Sharingan, alarmed. “ _You._ ” There was a vehemence there, but nothing else. The unspoken thought Itachi should not have his Sharingan activated. The horror as they realized something was happening, obviously some kind of break, and they were suddenly all one second away from murder. They had all been told how dangerous and unstable Dogs were, and they were all about to see that first hand for themselves.

“Get out of the way, back up!” Another voice commanded. Someone grabbed for Itachi, and he lashed out. His knife cut cloth, but not flesh. Itachi was trapped between people and the door that lead to children. He could not go back. He would have to go forward. Through.

“Itachi.” His name was sharp and not really angry. More desperate. “Do you have anything that smells like him?” Someone demanded. The words didn’t make sense, and the hall was filling with noise, it was a small space, children were being called by name outside. By name and number and—

Itachi fought the genjutsu suddenly flung at him, He tore through it and pivoted away from the person trying to grab him. If they caught him, they would slit his throat. One long red smile under his chin. Itachi spun and froze. Standing in the doorway was a boy. Pale skin, dark hair, and red eyes. Spinning red eyes. He stood motionless, staring back at Itachi. Daring him to move.

Then someone grabbed Itachi from behind and stabbed him in the neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Itachi's grand plans always end up being the most painful option available for himself and his loved ones.
> 
> Not 100% pleased with this chapter, but it's a thing that's happened. I think I rewrote the previous chapter, this chapter, and the next one three times already, so this is what you get.


	9. 7. Resolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can't be unafraid...be afraid and happy.  
> The Raven King by Maggie Steifvater.

Sakura arrived, sweating and out of breath. Shisui started moving towards her, recognizing the pink hair in the clinic crowd. She practically launched herself at Shisui, grabbing his arm. “Shisui-sensei, your partner.” 

She didn’t have to say anything else. Shisui’s heart dropped. Stopped. Bad enough Itachi hadn’t arrived back after the ANBU had abducted him. Now his not-really-student was tracking him down at the clinic because of his “partner.” These were not two worlds that could exist together.

“In registration building, off the main foyer,” Sakura added. “Kakashi-sensei is there.” Later Shisui would contemplate how much these kids knew about his life and schedule, but for now he was prying Sakura’s hand from his arm and running. Lucky for him, they had already taken his cast off. Shisui went out the first window he found, ignoring the alarm that followed him. He flickered from the window sill. The purpose was speed, never mind Itachi had probably killed whoever he was going to kill by now. Nevermind ANBU could have already killed Itachi if they were going to.

Shisui came to a bone jarring stop in front of the building, bursting into the front foyer without much of a pause. Sasuke was standing by a door. How had Team 7 been involved in this? Sasuke nodded to the door, opening it for Shisui. Shisui went through, going up the stairwell in leaps until he came to Naruto, who looked just as shocked as Shisui to see him.

“Kakashi-sensei hasn’t come out,” Naruto reported. Shisui didn’t know if what had happened had caused his normally peppy blonde to be sober, or if it was Shisui himself. Shisui scruffed Naruto’s hair as he hurried through the door, smoothing himself into better appearance. He couldn't stop the tremors rippling through him. He heard Naruto shout, and then three ANBU came through the door after Shisui. Shisui paused to look at them, blinking innocently, and then smiled.

“Ah, did I leave you behind? It’s been so long since I had full use of my leg I didn’t realize it,” Shisui smiled apologetically, and then hurried off down the hall. This upper level was mostly quiet, except for loud voices Shisui quickle pinpointed. He opened the door without knocking. Five ANBU and Kakashi stood in the room. Itachi lay on the floor, limp, blood crusted on his neck.

_Tiny body on the floor, neck blood crusted, soft, whistling breathes, a tiny dying thing discarded._

Ignoring everyone else, Shisui knelt and touched Itachi’s neck. A pulse fluttered under his fingers.

“I told you he would be here momentarily,” Kakashi said.

“What happened?” Shisui tried to sound meek instead of angry or demanding. He so clearly saw Itachi’s face as he threw his questions at Shisui only hours ago. Now, here they were, Itachi’s low pulse singing under Shisui’s fingers. Terror and anger was a two headed thing inside of Shisui.

“I believe he ran into a class of Academy students and panicked. My team and I were nearby, and I was able to sedate him.” Kakashi explained it all with a slow voice. Of course, Kakashi had worked with Itachi when he was younger and far more prone to panicking. He knew how to handle it. Shisui sat back and looked around at the faces gathered into the small room.

“Was anyone hurt?” Itachi tried for bemused.

“Not significantly,” One of the ANBU said. It was Natsu. Shisui felt a flood of relief. “Kakashi-san had Itachi down when I arrived. I administered a stronger acting sedative. I believe he bit Kakashi-san.” 

The man shrugged. “His teeth are dull.” 

“What was he doing here?” One of the four ANBU--dragon? Yes, that was a dragon-asked. He aimed the question at Shisui, who had to shrug.

“All I know is he was picked up for a report late yesterday afternoon. I haven’t seen him since,” Shisui promised.

“He had a pay voucher,” Nastu explained.

“He wasn’t in the right place for that,” Dragon argued. “He had been in the building too long to just be doing that. He was also seen talking to Mitarashi Anko.”

“I believe Anko has a...preference for..” Kakashi stopped and looked at Shisui, as if trying to find the right term. Shisui had a sudden rush of mortification. Had Kakashi ever been sent to check on Anko and Shisui? One of the other ANBU had red ears.

“I think we’re all aware of her preference,” An ANBU from the door said. “It doesn’t explain why Itachi was still in the building.”

“I know what he was doing,” Shisui spoke up before anything else could be supposed. “We had a fight, and he was probably avoiding the apartment in case I was there.”

“What did you fight about?” This came again from the ANBU at the door. Shisui made himself stand.

“He’s constantly reorganizing the apartment and moving the trap triggers. I’ve had five different rashes this week thanks to things he’s moved, and I was sick of it,” Shisui lied. They both rearranged the trap setups. Itachi was better and had accidently gotten Shisui with one or two before. Normally they warned each other.

There was some silence as everyone considered this. Masks exchanged glances and a few signs before Natsu spoke. “Thank you for your quick action, Kakashi-san. If we have more questions, you'll be contacted.”

The dismissal was obvious. Kakashi was only retired ANBU, not active. Kakashi gave them all a lazy nod and walked out of the room. Shisui heard Naruto’s loud questions drifting in before the door was closed again.

Shisui waited as glances were exchanged again. White masks pondered his fate.

“He should have known the children were there,” Dragon said. This he angled at Natsu. Shisui found it incredibly odd to have someone else taken to task for Itachi.

“Likely he assumed it would not be an issue,” Natsu’s response was dry. “I haven’t observed anything in him lately that would indicate he was prone to panics. ANBU have had breaks over less. I will advise he not be sent into buildings where it’s likely to happen again. If he hadn’t been given the voucher, this would not have happened. I would not have to delay my mission, and we would not be dealing with this.”

“He’ll need a full evaluation,” Another ANBU with a mouse mask put in. She was with the group of three at the door.

Natsu nodded. “Obviously, but he is currently unconscious, and as soon as he is functional again, I need him for a mission. If we push our travel time, we won’t have to hand it off to another squad.

“He can recover in the ANBU clinic,” Dragon decided. “We’ll evaluate him there before he leaves with you.”

“I’d advice against that. He can be...combative after sedation,” Shisui let the distaste for post-sedation Itachi show on his face. “If you injure him trying to keep him down, he won’t be ready for a mission, and you’ll likely need to sedate him again if he wakes up somewhere unfamiliar.” It didn’t matter how angry and hurt he had been at Itachi. He would not let ANBU take him right now. They'd have to sedate Shisui if they did.

“No.” Dragon began. “He needs to be under surveillance.”

Shisui spread his hands. “Is that not what I’m for?” He smiled, and then he wondered if that pretense hadn’t been all but dropped. Did anyone think he could overpower Itachi anymore? 

“You’ll come with us, then,” Dragon said, and Shisui couldn’t keep himself from tensing. No. He would not go. No. Not back there. He didn’t know how Itachi walked back into that building as if it were nothing. _Itachi, what are you doing to us?_

“No, that over complicates things. It’s my squad that needs him, and I agree. He’ll recover more quickly in a familiar environment. He doesn’t need surveillance, he needs to sleep off the sedation. You can have him for evaluation when we return.” Natsu put in. She turned to Shisui. “Take him only if you can guarantee he’ll be in headquarters before midnight tomorrow.”

Shisui nodded. “He’ll be there.” Shisui waited for the arguments to continue, but Natsu seemed to have stopped them. Evidently her decision for Itachi’s well being went without question or action would be taken against her later.

“Go ahead,” Natsu nodded. “Give him fluids. Make sure he eats.” Shisui knelt and carefully gathered Itachi up into his arms. As dead weight, he was heavy. Shisui managed to get Itachi on his back and gave them a smile. No doubt he would have an escort guiding him back.

_Itachi, Itachi, what are you up to?_

He could feel the weight of the white masks regarding him, questioning his body language. Did they see the subtle shimmer of leftover glitter on Itachi’s face and hair? Under his fingernails? Had one of them seen the fight last night, and did they know it was not over some moved traps? Had that even been a fight?

“I apologize for the inconvenience,” Shisui bowed. Itachi’s weight shifted like a corpse on Shisui’s back.  
-  
Itachi slept like a dead thing on Shisui’s arm. Shisui had set up a bag of IV fluids for Itachi, knowing he would be dehydrated after the poison. He stayed awake and check Itachi’s pulse, his breathing, made sure he didn’t vomit, and generally stared at Itachi’s face until he lay down beside him for a brief nap. Shisui gave up the pretense and tossed an arm over Itachi, drawing him in close to feel Itachi’s breathing and heart beat.

The more Shisui thought about what had happened, the more he thought Itachi might have planned it. It seemed extreme, but this was Itachi. It had been risky, but it had worked. The question was what exactly Itachi had hoped to gain with this stunt? More time in Konoha? Itachi’s erratic behavior was beginning to be more than troubling. First the silence, then the kiss, and now a possibly self induced panic attack.

“Shit.” Shisui rubbed his face with his free hand. He was still finding glitter everywhere, and every time he saw it he thought of Itachi’s face. It was one thing to be in love with Itachi. To want to kiss Itachi or more in the back of his mind, but an entirely different thing to see Itachi’s expression after. The difference stood between Shisui denying himself something and depriving Itachi of something.

Maybe he had always believed him own propaganda too well. Itachi wasn’t some untouchable monster. He was just as human as Shisui. Had Shisui still been getting black-out drunk at eighteen? He didn’t think so. He’d had his destructive spiral right after ANBU decided they’d take Itachi into their ranks. They all coped in their own ways. Ran too many missions, drunk too much, gambled everything away, let someone hurt them for the sake of looking punished.

Shisui’s arm felt dead, but he didn’t dare move it. Shisui breathed out again. He flexed his newly freed leg. He’d thought he would be happy to leave. He thought it would be a relief to know Itachi was in Konoha, resting and safe. He’d been an idiot. Itachi was a genius, thus Konoha was afraid of him. Itachi was a genius, thus he saw the cages and chains they lived in more clearly than Shisui did. It was also hard to tell if he were going mad or not.

“You can get up.” Itachi’s voice was a low slur. They’d both gotten too warm in the tangle of limbs, Itachi’s cheek cemented to Shisui’s inner arm. He’d drooled too.

“I don’t think you’re actually awake.” Shisui didn’t think he was ready for Itachi to be awake. Shisui waited as Itachi, with visible effort, pried an eye open. It was bloodshot. Itachi sighed and rolled, peeling his cheek from Shisui’s skin. Shisui slowly slid his arm free and sat up. Curled as he was, Itachi looked small. It didn’t help that Shisui had changed him into some of Shisui’s old clothes, which hung loser on his smaller frame.

“I’m going to make some breakfast. You need to eat even if it’s just rice.” Nevermind it was some time between midnight and dawn, not morning. Shisui touched Itachi’s arm, but got no response. He stood up slowly, easing weight onto his leg before limping to the bathroom. He didn’t know what to do with this. Previously keeping them safe has fallen in line with taking care of Itachi. Now...now he wasn’t so sure. He could feel the aching cavity Itachi’s words had hollowed in him, but he had a bigger concern right now. 

Maybe breakfast would clear his head. Shisui decided to make some of Itachi’s coffee. Rice would be enough. Maybe some eggs. Itachi would be nauseated. Shisui heard the water begin running in the bathroom. It seemed Itachi was actually up. Shisui focused breakfast as he reached up into the cabinets for more bowls. He needed to wash dishes. Funny how that always needed to be done.

How was anything Shisui had ever done in his life “the easy path”?

Shisui knocked the bowls over and sighed. He levered himself up on a knee on the cabinet to reach. As he righted the bowls, Shisui’s fingers touched metal. He withdrew and small cardboard strip covered in small hair pins. The kind that, when placed appropriately, would be invisible.

“It took you long enough to find them.” Silent as a cat, Itachi had moved to the kitchen space. Shisui pulled out the bowls and tapped the pins on the counter. He glanced to Itachi. He looked haggard and hollow in the low light. There was nothing masking his expression as he leaned on the counter. All composure was gone. Here was just the gaunt suggestion of a man.

Itachi had never asked for any of this. Everyone had made choices that Itachi had to live with, even Shisui. Shisui had kept Itachi safe, and he took purpose and solace from that still. It had been the thing he lived for. Maybe it had been how he atoned for surviving when he should not. If he could just keep Itachi alive, it would win him forgiveness or absolution for surviving his family's death. Shisui had taught Itachi to be this thing Konoha could not help but fear in an attempt to keep him safe. He had thought to make Itachi impervious to their attacks. Shisui had done that so well Konoha now struck out at Shisui, hoping to land a blow past Itachi’s defenses. How well they had all succeeded in that.

It was too bad neither of them had properly accounted for Itachi’s reaction to these things.

“I’m assuming you gave yourself a panic attack so you could talk to me.” Shisui pulled out leftover rice and started warming it. “Which was a terrible idea. _Never_ do that again. Ever.”

“We needed to finish,” Itachi didn’t so much defend himself as state a fact.

“I think we both said more than enough yesterday.” Done more than enough. Shisui picked up the hair pins, which seemed a perfect symbol of all their covert efforts over the years. This was all their teasing touches, friendly glances, and practical body contact. Everything that, over years, had built what they had now. That thing was supposed to be like these hairpins, invisible to the outside eye but holding them rather fragile existence.

 _Thing_ , Shisui named it, as if that disguised it anymore.

“More than is safe?” Itachi countered.

“Nothing we do is safe.” That felt like an admission. Shisui set the freshly brewed coffee in front of Itachi.“Maybe you should tell me straight up what you’re after instead of whatever you were doing yesterday.”

“Will you listen if I do?”

“Yes,” Shisui replied, but Itachi’s eyes dug into him.

“Will you listen if I do?” Itachi shifted the inflection around, catching Shisui’s evasion. Not just hear the words, but _listen._

“I’ll try.” Shisui would not make any promises to Itachi today, not after the past twenty-four hours.

Itachi slowly took the coffee cup. He sipped it, lips twisting at the bitterness. Shisui offered him the sugar container, but Itachi shook his head. He seemed to weigh the cup in his hands. If Shisui had expected to have the upperhand because of Itachi’s hangover, he didn’t. “How often do you wish you had let them kill me?”

Shisui had once been struck by lightning, and the feeling was similar. “Never.” 

“You’ve taken more than the brunt of my punishments, but you don’t regret it.” Itachi didn’t sound convinced. “Not yet. What about when they start using you as spare parts for me?” Itachi asked it lowly. Despite his musings about the Mangekyou, Shisui had yet to consider this option. Konoha didn’t need any special knowledge for this. Itachi’s skills couldn’t be doubted, and Shisui was useful as a hostage. Hostages didn’t need eyes to be useful. Would they give him someone else’s eyes or leave him in darkness? 

What was it like, living and knowing the only person who cared about you suffered because you existed? 

Shisui suddenly wondered what Itachi thought Shisui felt about him. How often had he wondered if Shisui hated or resented him? Shisui lost his temper at times, and he had lectured Itachi often enough about his behavior. He had been trying to keep Itachi safe because he cared. But, Shisui realized, in a way he had been helping Konoha hold Itachi’s head under water by insisting if Itachi just acted right, followed enough rules, was jumble enough, things would be all right. No, less. Konoha would let him live the shadow of a life where Itachi could not even kiss someone he was in love with.

Shisui was a coward, lashing out at Itachi, the easy target for his fear and resentment. None of that would help. It wouldn’t solve anything. It was difficult to admit he was frightened instead of cautious. Cowardly instead of cunning. He would not accept Itachi’s overtures not because he didn’t think it was wise, but because he was afraid of how much it could hurt him.

And, because, on some level, he thought Konoha was right, and this was something he did not deserve. It had been an easy lie to hide from himself until he’d seen Itachi’s face. The logic held until he tried to push it onto Itachi, and saw the gaping holes decorating it.

“Itachi.” Shisui said the name, and it had so many layers to it. Itachi looked up. “What do you want from me?” What more? What else?

“You are the only reason I’m alive. I owe you everything,” Itachi started, and Shisui’s soft noise cut Itachi off.

“I think you made it clear it’s not much of anything,” Shisui returned. Itachi’s lips thinned. His eyes went down. Shisui thought he might set his head down on the counter. He had to be tired and light headed. He was exahusted, but he was here.

“You’re in it.” Itachi lifted his eyes.

“But I’m not enough unless I’m willing to sleep with you?” Shisui knew better than to ask these questions.

Itachi shifted to annoyed--more than that. “You know it has nothing to do with that. That’s just something you won’t allow yourself to have because you don’t think you deserve it--because it would make you _happy_ and nothing else. It doesn’t fit with the narrative Konoha gave you that you have to live in constant penance, or something terrible will happen.

“The terrible thing is you end up living a life that isn’t worth the struggle, and you smother yourself for them. They don’t even have to try any more.”

 _They have already won. We are already dead._ “I kept you alive for twelve years,” Shisui felt obligated to point this out.

“I know.” Itachi softened a little. “You did the impossible, and now it’s my turn. I’m going to change things.” Itachi said it more softly, eyes meeting Shisui’s again. “But you’ll have to trust me.”

Shisui knew his correct answer would be to shut Itachi down. Tell him no. Never. Do not. It was safe. It was what Konoha would want. It was what Shisui wanted to do. He’d done it the other day, because he was afraid. Because he knew how it would end for him. He knew how hard it was to keep a Dog safe from Konoha’s machinations.

“What if I asked you not to?” Shisui already knew the answer.

Itachi didn’t even shake his head. What was it like, knowing Konoha was grinding someone you loved down into spare parts for you? What did that do to your head and your heart? 

How did Konoha expect Shisui to keep control of that explosion? To box that indignation and pain and hate into a neatly controlled package for them to use? They had put Shisui to the task of breaking Itachi down into a manageable creature, a thing and a tool instead of a person, and so far he had served them well.

“Just watch out for your eyes. I’m not looking forward to being blind,” Shisui added with some sarcasm.

“Do you really think I’ll let that happen?” Itachi asked, voice low.

“I think when it happens, you’ll be be beyond influencing it.” Injured, probably unconscious, in pain, drugged. ANBU probably had a plan. It might be a choice between Shisui’s eye in Itachi’s skull and Shisui’s life.

“That’s why I’m starting now.” Itachi kept the same, soft, coaxing tone. A tone to use for a child. The space Shisui had wedged himself in between Konoha and Itachi became smaller. When push came to shove, Shisui would be the thing that broke first.

“Even if I knew how it would turn out back then, I would still choose to speak up for you,” Shisui added softly. “You are more than worth it.” Shisui felt it like a physical sensation. This was a turning point. This was a change he could never take back.

“You’re going to regret that.” Because they both knew Konoha. They both knew fights and how one never got out unscathed. Some things would get broken. Some things would get severed. Someone might die. Shisui was the one tangled in Konoha’s razor wire, tethered and connected and slowly drawn ever deeper, ever tighter between responsibility, threat, and humanity. He would be the first thing to give. The first casualty.

Shisui managed a smile. “I’m going to take that as a personal challenge.” Itachi met Shisui’s fake levity with exhausted sobriety. This was not something glorious like a first kiss preluded by a stolen happy afternoon. This was Itachi promising to put Shisui through hell after doing the same to himself. This was more like their normal lives--exhaustion and pain and compromise. 

They were dogs, and they were used to living on scraps. Shisui caught Itachi’s jaw with his fingers. Itachi’s eyes snapped up and over. It was painful how much hesitancy was in Itachi’s eyes.

“You aren’t going to tell me what you’re planning, are you?” Shisui asked.

“No, not yet,” Itachi admitted. Shisui probably deserved that. He felt untrustworthy. Unworthy of many things, and oddly complicit. “Let’s say I’m going to make strategic stands on key issues.”

“Issues such as kissing who you want?” Shisui still felt a deep seated terror in his chest. This was going to get them all killed.

Itachi’s head tipped a bit. “You’re very hung up on that point.” 

“Mostly because it annoys me to see something done so badly.” Shisui let the indignation spread on Itachi’s face for a moment. Shisui didn’t have to duck his head as much as he thought he should. It was a response more than anything. Confirmation. An answer to Itachi’s previous question.

Mostly, it was two people standing in a dingy kitchen, kissing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all down hill from here, darlings.


	10. 7.5 Interlude:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a sort of ferocious, quiet beauty, the sort that wouldn't let you admire it. The sort of beauty that always hurt.-Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater

Paranoia made Shisui wedge the bedroom door shut with a kunai after Itachi set several traps. Itachi sat reclined against the wall in a way that said he was still feeling the drugs in his system. He held his head too still. He also watched with a mild look that said “Really?” 

“You are already making way too many demands,” Shisui pointed at Itachi. Itachi shrugged and took a sip from his coffee. Shisui wandered back over to Itachi, sinking down beside him. Shisui could almost swear there was a flush around Itachi’s face. His mind skirted the idea of what he was doing--what he was agreeing too. Instead Shisui chose to focus on the concrete facts. Shoulders were touching, and Shisui still had the memory of Itachi’s lips warm on his.

“....was it really _that_ bad?” Itachi asked slowly, glancing at Shisui. “The first kiss.”

"No one ended up bleeding, and it was your first time, so not _that_ bad, no." Shisui hedged around the answer. Itachi did not look _sullen_ , but perhaps disappointed. "You were kissing me to make a point, execution was secondary."

"You are oversimplifying things again." Itachi held his coffee cup in front of him. Shisui rolled his head to the side, looking at Itachi's profile. His cheeks had lost all trace of childish plumpness, leaving behind something almost severe. The most captivating things were Itachi’s lips and his eyes. His eyes lashes created delicate shadow on his cheekbones when he dipped his head like this. Maybe all their good luck had gone into Itachi not ending up in seduction.

"....that was the first time you've kissed someone, right?"

Itachi turned his head. One eyebrow quirked. "Does that matter?"

For a moment Shisui felt unbearably anxious at that question. This had nothing to do with the idea of Itachi kissing someone else, but Shisui could not conjure up a situation where someone in Konoha trying to kiss Itachi would not have ulterior motives. "It would mean you never mentioned it to me."

Itachi left the statement hang in the air for several long moments. "Exactly who else do you think would let me get close enough to even attempt to kiss them?" Itachi asked dryly. He gave his head a tiny shake, and then gave Shisui that condescending pat on the knee that said he saw through Shisui easily. "In any case, you were the only one I ever wanted to kiss."

Shisui gave Itachi a withering look. This was payback for his earlier comments, he was sure. "Is that because I was your only option?"

Itachi kindly took the time to consider this. "Likely, even if I had options, you'd still be that...or top five, at least." Itachi leaned back and seemed to ponder the options.

"But Kakashi..." 

Shisui made a noise akin to a cat throwing up a hairball. Itachi snorted, hiding his smile in the coffee mug. _This is a thing that has kept us alive._ This, with Itachi's smiles and the gentle teasing mockery. This was their safe island in a stormy sea, and they both needed it. Shisui slid over and kissed Itachi's jaw. Itachi actually jumped enough to spill coffee on his fingers.

Shisui chuckled. "Sorry, sorry," Shisui apologized, taking the mug from Itachi's scalded fingers. Itachi gave Shisui a speculative look as he wiped off his fingers, eyes intent and lips pressed into a thin line. 

"Consider your vertigo," Shisui cautioned.

"And your delicate sensibilities?"

"Precisely, I might be overcome and faint dead away."

"You are slow to adapt to new situations," Itachi mused, taking back his coffee and twisting around to lean into Shisui's steepled legs. How long had it been since Shisui had allowed so much contact? Could it be years? Itachi’s ear leaned against Shisui’s knee, and he was suddenly an alien creature. His limbs were loose, his face relaxed, there was an absence of intent that had to be drugs but might also be other things.

Happiness. Contentment. Pleasure.

If Shisui was so blindsided by Itachi’s expression while cuddling like this, he’d never make it through sex. Shisui felt his face heating at the thought, made worse by the way Itachi watched him, eyebrows drawing in. Shisui held his coffee mug up in defense of his face. “Stop. It was a good kiss. It was sweet.”

“Sweet?” Itachi didn’t sound pleased with this.

“Yes, sweet. Adorable. Isn’t that your selling point?” Shisui looked over his mug to Itachi’s bemused expression.

“It’s very hard to tell which one of us was drugged recently.” Shisui had never realized how completely one had to look past Itachi’s words and outward expression to get at what he actually felt. Shisui’s nonsense made Itachi happy, even if it skirted the edges of what they had done and discovered and agreed to. They’d committed, and Itachi seemed content to let Shisui circle and poke things with a metaphorical stick.

Shisui looked into his coffee.He snuck a suspicious glance at Itachi. “So many things make so much more sense now.”

“I would use a genjustu. Something subtle to lower inhibitions,” Itachi mused.

“Pro-tip: don’t suggest to future partners you’re going to genjutsu them into compliance. It’s creepy and invasive--and if anyone suggests it to you, stab them.” Not that many people could put a genjutsu on Itachi. Itachi flashed red eyes at Shisui, who startled and slopped coffee on his fingers.

Itachi just grinned and snuggled down into Shisui’s leg. Shisui wiped his fingers on Itachi’s pants. “That was the cheapest use of the Sharingan ever.”

“Likely.” Itachi looked speculative and set his coffee cup down. He leaned forward and took Shisui’s, setting his to the side as well. “Since you are the expert, do I need to ask you every time I want to kiss you? Or is there some hand sign?”

Shisui’s mouth went dry. “No.” Itachi probably had a decent grasp of Shisui’s body language anyway. They were expert scholars of the things unsaid in each other, and Shisui was too much of a coward to have that question tossed around so casually. “Unless you want to.”

Itachi shrugged, a gentle fluid motion that seemed more prepared his body for movement than dismissal. “Can I kiss you?” He cocked his head, and Shisui didn’t want to describe the feelings fluttered in his chest as he nodded.

Shisui reordered his thinking as he let Itachi bump their lips together again, gained a feel for the mechanics of the action. This was not dangerous to Konoha because it made them happy. This was dangerous because it was the kind of thing you would fight to keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those asking question in the comments: thank you! You'll likely get chapters or interludes that answer your questions in the future.


	11. 8. Doubt

At Shisui’s insistence, Itachi arrived early for debriefing, but Natsu was already there. She was going through what looked like disguise kits, adding some stains and wear to a flak vest. The disguises were a mix of country and age, some obviously bad counterfeits. Likely they would be impersonating low ranking missing-nin, or ninja who had never belonged to any village in the first place.

“Is this going to be the time I regret taking up for you?” Natsu asked, not even looking up from her work. She glanced over the over sets of clothes and leaned over to rip a seam out of one. Itachi closed the door and activated the rooms seal. Most rooms in ANBU headquarters were sound proof for several reasons. That didn’t mean their conversation would be private, but people would have to work a bit more to hear them.

“If I were able to predict that, my life would be much simpler,” Itachi walked to the table.

Natsu smiled just a fraction She motioned to the set of clothes she was working on. “This one is yours.”

Itachi glanced at Natsu, raising an eyebrow. She shrugged. “The mission we were supposed to take got shuffled, and we got a quick infiltration one. It’s in an information pit, so we shouldn’t have to be there long. It’s a simple in and out. Under twenty-four hours, or we’re getting our asses hauled out by a recovery team.” Itachi nodded. He would not normally be allowed to go on a mission like this, but he would not normally be allowed on a solo mission either. Could he be getting trusted or just enough rope with which to hang himself?

Itachi reached into his pocket and pulled out a small cloth packet with a seal over it. Natsu took it with a nod. “Thanks. I told them I’d get another before we left.” Natsu sealed the cloth package up with a single dose of a fast acting sedative. The “panic kit” consisted of the sedative and a face mask that smelled strongly of Shisui. Itachi always tried to carry something on his person that smelled like Shisui, just in case, but his captain always carried one as well. Before Natsu, that had been Kakashi.

“Am I going to be evaluated before we leave?” Itachi asked.

“No. I managed to convince them it wouldn’t be helpful in this situation. I refused to run a mission with you if they did. Interrogation would only make you more hair trigger, and I do know how long it takes you to come down. I don’t want any more variables than necessary out in the field.” Natsu leaned against the table. She seemed to debate with herself, lips thinning for a moment before she lowered her voice. “I do need to know _why_ you did that before we go.”

Itachi met Natsu’s gaze blankly. Her expression didn’t falter and Itachi wavered between choices. He could simply not say anything and let her draw her own conclusions or he could lie. Normally he let people make their own assumptions, as people would have a harder time disbelieving their own fabrications and logic. His own would always be subject to scrutiny and used as condemnation later.

“I had some things to accomplish before I left Konoha again,” Itachi admitted slowly. He realized he was far more like Shisui than he wanted to admit. Admitting the truth seemed like a dangerous thing.

Natsu’s lips thinned. She kept her voice low, leaning in a bit more. “Perhaps, next time, if it occurs to your genius self, you might try telling me that before you throw yourself into another crowd of toddlers. You were _very_ lucky Kakashi and his team were there.”

“His gennin?” Itachi asked, before he remembered the red-eyed boy who’d confronted him in the hall. Sasuke. Itachi felt a strange shiver down his spine and touched his fingertips to the travel worn clothes on the table. _Careful._ He reminded himself. Tread lightly, start gently, guard your weak spots.

_Bite down._

“He claimed they were not in danger, but only a distraction. Shisui taught them, didn’t he? Have you met them?” Natsu moved and raised her voice a bit. She still watched Itachi closely, but not intently. She didn’t watch him like she was waiting for something to fall apart. She did not wait for an opening to attack. She was trying to pick up on all Itachi’s silent cues and quirks.

“Yes, for a while. Shisui enjoyed it, but I haven’t met them.” Shisui might never admit it, but he had always craved more human connection than Itachi. Shisui did have an awkward network of people who cared in various ways and depths. Itachi had put everything into Shisui.

“Kakashi also put in a good word for you as well. He said it wasn’t as violent as your previous panics, and thought the ANBU were an overreaction--not so plainly stated, but it was nice to see them squirm a bit when he played it off as nothing. He is _Hatake Kakashi_. How are you going to call him a liar when he says you overreacted?” Natsu’s smile had a vicious sheen to it. “It was nice not being the voice of reason for once.”

Itachi wondered if Shisui became so alarmed when Itachi spoke about things he shouldn’t. This rising bubble of panic. Was he supposed to shut her down? Was it a test? Was he about to lose the chance at an ally? “I’m sure the ANBU had their reasons.”

“Their reason is a narrative of how dangerous you are.”

“I am dangerous.” Itachi felt his heart racing. This could all be a trick. This could be his evaluation. Could he count on Konoha not knowing what had passed between himself and Shisui?

That was probably the worst part. Itachi couldn’t know what moments of his life had been private, and what to factor into his calculations of Natsu’s words. What did she know? What could she not know that ANBU could have told her? Itachi kept his face impassive, watching Natsu stand and walk across the room before she looked at him again.

“Now you’re wondering what kind of test this is,” Natsu pulled her short hair up off her neck, clipping it back. She paused and looked at Itachi. “Was it the fight with Shisui? Was that why you weren’t ready to leave Konoha?” When Itachi didn’t answer, Natsu pursed her lips for a moment.

“Itachi, everyone knows.”

Itachi thought of Shisui’s teasing smile, and the way he’d leaned down to kiss Itachi that first time. He recalled it all with an intense rushing over his skin, and he knew that was a moment that should have belonged only to himself and Shisui. Did it still? Had a white masked face peered through a window at the right time? Had Natsu gotten a whisper that rumors were no longer just that?

“It’s one thing for something to be known, but it is entirely another to speak it.” Itachi knew this intimately now. 

Natsu paused and stepped closer to Itachi. “I’ve had you on my team for a while now, and I know you’ve gotten better. You’re not a child anymore or a tool. You can see the game they play with you just as plainly as anyone.”

Natsu stood incredibly close, but Itachi leaned in a bit, the soft head cant that put his ear closer to hers. Her eyes were a light brown twisted with greens. She met his eyes without fear. “You’ve given me half a dozen things to pass to Shisui this year, and you know I try to pull look-out duty when you’re in Konoha.”

Had Natsu herself been the white mask peering through the window?

When Itachi didn’t respond, Natsu shook her head a little. “I’m trying to say you should trust me more.”

Itachi thought he already trusted Natsu more than he should. “Why did you order me to see a healer after every mission?”

Natsu didn’t accuse him of deflecting. “Because you’re no invulnerable monster, no matter what Konoha says. I’ve seen your cousin coming undone at the edges, and everyone knows how the dogs go out. I didn’t want that on my team.”

Natsu had certainly seen too much. “And how do dogs go out?”

“Violently on a mission after they stop caring, or violently in Konoha, if the ANBU don’t watch them closely enough. That is why they wanted you evaluated. They thought the panic attack was a sign of suicidal behavior.” Natsu kept her voice low.

Itachi had never before considered ANBU watching their every move a safety precaution. “I can assure you, the thought isn’t one I’ve considered.” It would be too much like a victory for Konoha.

“What about your roommate?” Natsu’s question cut Itachi some place tender and raw. Itachi thought he stayed impassive, but Natsu’s expression shifted just a fraction.

“I don’t believe that’s your concern, captain,” Itachi managed a level reply. Itachi kept track of the Uchiha. He knew how they died, and he knew enough to be afraid of coming home to a body. At first, he had thought it would never be a worry because, of course, Shisui had Itachi. They were not loners like the other dogs, which made them stronger. Itachi knew better than that now. If Shisui broke, Itachi would be the reason he did so.

Would ANBU attempt to save Shisui? How long would they wait before checking on him? Would they remove Shisui’s body before Itachi got there? Would he want them do?

“Your well being is obviously tied up in Shisui’s, and if you are distracted it is my business. It’s even more my business if you’re going to take risks inside of Konoha and throw our mission schedule off just because you need a few more hours with him.” Natsu added. She waited a moment for Itachi to speak. 

“Just think about it, next time you need something,” Natsu finished. “I doubt you will ever allow yourself to call me a friend, but you should know you have more allies than you think.” Itachi had started this by asking her to check on Shisui, and to drop him the small notes and momentos. He had opened that door a crack, but had not expected her to step inside. Natsu had been playing for his trust for a while now, with all her decisions in his favor. No matter that most of those decisions had been in her or the squad’s best interest, she had always been reasonable with him. 

To an outsider, did Itachi seem as paranoid and terrified as Shisui did to Itachi?

Itachi lowered his head a fraction. “Thank you.” He had to wonder how many more cracks and chips he would have without Natsu as his captain. She smiled, barely, and clapped him on the shoulder.

“The only thanks I need is everyone back here in one piece. Work your magic, monster.”  
~  
Something was off.

First Itachi thought it was his perception. He substituted alertness for caffeine and a soldier pill, warring with the last bits of sedation swimming in his body. It edged everything with a sense of anxiety, a high pitched whine in his thoughts, nagging at him. Alternatively, it could be the shift in his life. He could place a mental finger on the thought of Shisui and what that encompassed and feel a sense of satisfied rightness. It was warm and solid and if not completely stable, it felt firmer than anything else is Itachi’s life. Maybe he was still suffering from an overdose of endorphins. It seemed one very likely die from happiness, or at least lose enough paranoid wariness to die that way.

 _Be careful._ That had been Shisui's final admonition before Itachi left. He had delivered it seriously, Itachi's face in his hands. An unforseen advantage, Itachi was finding, was kissing Shisui cut off his lectures nicely, or at least significantly changed their tone. Itachi had not expected Shisui, who had had a number of partners despite everything, to be so strongly affected by a kiss..

Itachi didn't think he could be careless. His brain did not operate in anything other than crisis level vigilance, but he was trying to stay aware and alert. He would be careful. He had to, less for Konoha this time and more to show Shisui that they would be all right. Mostly, anyway.

Something was off.

"What is it?"

Itachi didn't have to say anything. Natsu had read something in his body language. They were unmasked today, as they were going undercover to root out an informant that was passing information around about Konoha.Itachi did wear a heavy scarf wrapped around his lower face as well as a face mask.

"I don't know." Itachi admitted. It was strange to see everyone's faces, despite the various scarves and hoods. The day was delivering a steady drizzle that became a downpour at times. After so long of reading emotion and intent in body posture, everyone seemed intensely emotive. Maybe that was part of it. Take’s eyebrows always seemed to be saying something. "It could be nothing."

"With you, unlikely," Natsu didn't grumble, but she signaled for everyone to draw up. Shin and Take dropped down to join them as they formed a loose circle.

"Anyone else getting the feeling something's off?" Natsu asked. They all glanced at Itachi for about half a second, then glanced away. 

"I thought it was just being unmasked," Take said. “Giving me extra paranoia, you know?” Shin nodded, glancing at Itachi’s face again. Itachi tugged his scarf back up. 

"Stay alert, we’re getting closer to our target and we all know this is an unpredictable situation. It’s an information pit, and all the snakes like to gather there. At the first sign of trouble, we're out. Forget the target, forget the objective, we bolt." Natsu pinned Itachi with a steady look. Itachi was notorious for not listening to orders. Itachi met her gaze, but Natsu never broke eye contact.

"Our squad takes top priority. Everyone gets out." Itachi said it, but they already knew that. 

Natsu finally gave a nod. They moved off spreading out slowly. Itachi circled out, trying to keep his mind on task. It snagged on the thought of Shisui's fingers, Konoha, Kisame, his own "questionable" judgement, Natsu’s offer, and the rapidity with which he would have to act now that things were in motion.

He had no time for mistakes, or even missteps.

Itachi was aware of the ambush before it was sprung. He slowed, signalling the retreat. Shin fell hard and fast. Itachi and Natsu went after him. Natsu grabbed Shin just before he hit the ground, tossing him up on her shoulder as she landed to take the impact. Enemy shinobi rose up from the ground, descending from the trees. They didn’t pause. Itachi blew a white hot fireball up into the air as Natsu shoved spikes of earth out, gaining them ground and an clear ariel escape route. They’d split into clones and be out of the trap in seconds.

Natsu gasped, staggering and throwing Shin off of her. Her clones vanished. Itachi moved without thinking, blocking the second slash Shin aimed at Natsu. It bit through the armor on Itachi’s arm, cutting deep. Itachi heard Natsu take a deep, gasping breath. Take appeared beside them, and then the attackers came over the spikes.

“Go!” Itachi shouted. Itachi and Take split into three each, crows suddenly erupted from the ground, obscuring them and throwing Shin back.

The rain became cutting shards of ice. The ground turned into a thick, sucking mud that froze around Itachi’s feet. He twisted, barely throwing himself out of the way of a heavy three pronged spear, but did not miss the heavy metal plated first that shattered his cheekbone.

The illusion shattered, and one of the enemy shinobi dropped, face broken just as someone shouted. "Don't damage his face!"

They were after Itachi.

More accurately, they were after the Sharingan. There were eight here with him, but there had been more a moment ago. Likely some had gone after Take and Natsu. Itachi needed to be quick. Itachi had learned to be quick from Shisui, and there was no one faster. Less than a shadow, he streaked through the group, heading for Shin. Itachi launched another blistering white fireball. Shin and two more avoided it, one dropping to gasp and cough as their lungs burned and flaked to ash. Somewhere in the forest, Take and Natsu were running, a crow at their side. Itachi needed to collect them and go. Itachi eviscerated two more shinobi.

A piercing shriek ripped through the air. Itachi bit through his lower lip, but it wasn't a genjutsu. He split himself into three clones, the noise reaching a crescendo of pain before it eclipsed all other sound.The sudden deafness beyond a high pitched whine staggered Itachi, catching enough of his attention, he only dodged three of the four attacks launched at him. The chains took him off his feet, slamming him into the ground. Itachi felt the sword stab through his wrist, twisting as it speared down. Itachi dissolved into crows as the first jolt of electricity seared through him. 

He got enough to the shock to go sprawling as he landed, gathering himself in an instant, but a heavy three pointed spear stabbed down, pinning his leg to the ground. Triumph made the man stupid, and he met Itachi's eyes. The man quickly yanked his spear back and stabbed himself in his meaty thigh.. Blood fountained across Itachi's face as he gained his feet and ran past.

Itachi gutted two more on his way out--messy, sloppy slashes for long deaths before he translocated. A murder of crows rushed through the remaining enemy gathering, exploding and attacking and switching from Itachi to crows and back again with lightning speed. Everything melted into disorder. Itachi slid through the rain soaked forest, back to Natsu and Take they had stopped moving. 

Three figures, one Shin, were there as well. Take was scattered around the clearing in pieces. Natsu was propped against a tree, but there was too much blood smeared around her. Itachi dropped down beside her.

“Give it up, Itachi. If you come quietly, you’ll have a better life than Konoha would ever give you,” Shin advised, voice distorted as it passed through the ears of a crow and then to Shisui. Itachi pretended to hesitate. Shin was stalling, but perhaps he was right. Maybe some other village would be kinder to their stolen Uchiha than Konoha. Itachi looked at Shin, eyes taking in the other figures. With his free hand Itachi felt for Natsu’s neck.

“She’s dead.” Shin said that so smoothly, as if this meant nothing to him. As if his blow hadn’t been the difference of life and death for Natsu and Take. As if they did not have years running together as something closer than family. Itachi saw the masked faces glancing at Shin, Shin licking his lips, and saw Shin still had a role to play in this betrayal. They needed Itachi alive. Itachi willing would be ever better. Itachi grateful would be such a gift to them, whoever they were.

“You have a choice,” Shin’s voice didn’t shake, but Itachi knew terror like he knew nothing else. 

“Where?” Itachi asked. He could stall too. He couldn’t pick anything up from them shinobi around him. He had to take this as a betrayal. This was not Konoha punishing Natsu for her leniency towards him and tempting Itachi. This was not his test after giving himself a panic attack.

Was it?

“You’ll find that out. You know I can’t tell you,” Shin sounded almost apologetic. He had always been a good talker.

Game or reality? Test or betrayal? Was this really Natsu’s corpse? If this were not Konoha testing him...if this was a chance to escape. To leave…

“I can’t leave without Shisui. Konoha will kill him.”

Was there a flash of hope in Shin’s eyes. “You know he’s nothing more than your jailor, not matter what he tells you at night. I’ve read the transcripts. I know what he promised so Konoha wouldn’t execute him with the rest of the traitors.” The word choice jarred Itachi. _Traitors_. What had a nine year-old been guilty of? What did they all imagine Shisui and his young cousins had schemed to do? 

_It’s nice not to be the voice of reason for once._

Itachi blinked slowly, forcing himself to relinquish the Sharingan. They couldn’t kill him now, at least. 

“Come with us, and you’ll have your revenge on Konoha.” One of the other shinobi stepped forward, hand outstretched. Everyone had moved closer, edging in to help in Itachi’s take-down. They would speak sweet words, but they would not actually give him a choice. Itachi let indecision show on his face, and then he glanced back at Natsu. His hand slipped in the blood on her neck.

“You killed our team.”

“I freed you,” Shin suggested the alternatively so neatly. “Itachi, this is your chance. You could be--”

There was a slowed moment of arrested movement when Itachi turned back, dropping the genjutsu that made his face visible to reveal the mask still on his face. Shin’s face drained of color as Itachi grasped the braided cord of paper around Natsu’s neck.

“Stop him!” Shin’s voice verge on a shriek, and Itachi was surprised by the number of people that lunged for him.

Shin had told them so many secrets.

Itachi ripped a necklace from Natsu’s neck. He was always quicker than expected even as he felt knives lodge in him, his hand was partially severed, but it was all too late.

He swore he heard Shin’s final shout before everything exploded.


	12. 9. Defective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to say where things are heading are not where I intended them to go when I started writing this story. I also feel like this chapter was super sloppy, but on to better things. Thank you for the comments and kudos!

Secrets were terrible things. Shisui’s life was made of them, and Itachi’s stripping of one secret had simply given Shisui more to try and hide. It had given him more to lose. It had shifted the fundamental shape of the universe around him. 

It seemed so strange no one else could look at Shisui and see the shift. ANBU didn’t descend on him in a moment. In fact, there didn’t seem to by any ANBU watching Shisui as he left his apartment and went down into the street. He had spent too long in front of the mirror examining his facial expressions and skin and he looked the same as he always did.

Now he just had to make it back onto the active duty list, and get out of Konoha for a few days. That would be a task in and of itself, but it didn’t seem quite as insurmountable as it had yesterday. When Shisui showed up to get back on the active duty mission roster, he was pleased to see Izumo was manning the table.

“Will you look at that, you’re not dead.” Izumo grinned.

Shisui spread his arms. “I haven’t been outside of Konoha in two months. How would I have died?”

Izumo copied the gesture. “Between your gennin and your roommate, the fact that your still alive is surprising, honestly.”

“Okay, so maybe.” Shisui grimaced. “But they are not _my gennin._ See, I have use of all my limbs again and I no longer have to babysit small children for rent. Kakashi now has full charge of the hellions.” Izumo wouldn’t be so easily moved from his chair.

“Didn’t it bring joy back to your life? To foster the growth of Konoha’s next generation of shinobi?” Izumo clasped a hand to his chest in a move made for propaganda.

Shisui leaned over the table. “It made me _so_ glad I am never having children.”

Izumo snorted. “Doesn’t it? Kotetsu and Anko and I pulled duty for the Chuunin exams this year, and it’s going to be hell. I’d rather have someone stab me a few times. Can you recommend the guy who broke your leg? He did good work.”

“Sorry, he’s out of the leg shattering business. I kind of decapitated him. At least you don’t have to be nice to them,” Shisui consoled him. “Being sensei means fostering good mental growth.”

“Those kids are screwed, aren’t they?” Izumo grinned.

“Do you think you could actually be bothered to do your job for once?” Shisui drawled, leaning further over the table. “I’m going stir crazy and I want to be ready to ship out as soon as Itachi’s feet hit Konoha soil.”

“Are they still afraid you two are going to elope if you go out at the same time?” Izumo mused as he stood.

“Yes, they would hate to miss the wedding. It will be the event of the season,” Shisui returned with as much sarcasm as possible. “Lucky for them we’re both die hard traditionalists. We would never shame our ANBU family by eloping without their approval.”

“You’re getting too deep into the metaphor,” Izumo tossed this over his shoulder as he went into a back room to dig for Shisui’s papers. Shisui rubbed his face, pushing his hair back from his face. It brought back a tactile memory of Itachi’s hands tangled in his hair, the brush of lips on his cheekbone.

Shisui found his lips curling up, and forced the expression down. No. This was serious business. Itachi was endangering everything and Shisui was letting him. This was madness. Insanity. For no reason should it be a bubbly, smile inducing event.

“It’s not back there,” Izumo returned, frowning. “You’re still listed as inactive.”

“The medics should have filed the papers already,” Shisui said, but he knew he was about to have the job of another paper chase. 

Izumo shook his head. “Yeah, you got medical clearance, but there’s an administrative hold on you still. I can’t put you in the queue or assign you to a squad until they take that off.”

Shisui was almost certain he hadn’t had an administrative hold on his record before. He would almost swear it had been medical. Then again, it had seemed to take a very long time for his leg to heal. Maybe he needed to be recertified with something? Maybe this was just a fun “watch Shisui run around and pull out his hair over paperwork” moment for someone.

“You look like someone just killed your cat,” Izumo sounded uncertain. Itachi had just had a breakdown in this building not too long ago. Paperwork could make anyone snap.

“I was not emotionally prepared for paper work today.” Shisui managed a wry grin. He leaned both elbows on the table, sliding closer to Izumo. “Are you sure you’re not trying to extort me for _favors_ Kamizuki-san?”

“Honey, I like my dick not on Anko’s wall,” Izumo replied in the same sweet tone. “If she even thought I was fucking with your records, she would end me.”

“Really?” Shisui raised his eyebrows.

“It’s not like she has a lot of influence over people, but those she does..” Izumo shrugged. “Anyway, honor code. You don’t fuck with your friend’s fuck buddy. I’d go see Yaku on the fourth floor. He’ll send you somewhere useful, or he’ll know who put the hold on and you can go directly to them.”

“Knowing my luck, it will be ANBU,” Shisui admitted ruefully. He hated going into that building. He had no idea how Itachi did it every day.

“Shisui-sensei!” Shisui and Izumo both flinched at Naruto’s pre-pubescent bellow. The kid was so loud it had to be some precursor of a kekkei genkai, right? 

“I am _not_ your sensei anymore,” Shisui snapped as he turned around. Naruto had come explosively into the room, followed by the rest of Team 7. Kakashi followed as a distant fourth, as if he were only here by chance or the gennin had run away from him and he simply trailed in their wake. Shisui sense something was afoot.

“I still call Iruka-sensei sensei even though I don’t go to his classes anymore,” Naruto said, pleased with his logic and getting away with this. Shisui scowled, but Naruto didn’t seem to notice. In typical Naruto fashion, his expression and tone shifted wildly a moment later. 

“Is your boyfriend okay?” Naruto demanded.

For once, Shisui was too blindsided to speak. Izumo started to laugh, and Sakura appeared beside Naruto, punching his shoulder. “Naruto!”

“What? We _saved_ him, so we should get to know if he’s all right,” Naruto’s protest was equally loud, and Shisui grappled with the fact that gennin were calling Itachi his boyfriend so casually. Was Itachi his _boyfriend_? The idea was--no. No. That wasn’t the word for it.

Shisui swallowed. “He is just my roommate. We live together.” Izumo muttered something Shisui hoped Naruto did not hear. Naruto looked highly skeptical, and Shisui wondered who had been telling him bad rumors. Shisui wanted to go back to bed. The day needed a restart.

“Well?” Naruto demanded again. Sasuke was standing marginally near now, eying Shisui. Kakashi had drifted to a wall with his porn. Good choice. Showing any interest in anything to do with Naruto was a dangerous pastime.

“He is fine, but how were you three involved in ‘saving’ him?” Shisui asked slowly. 

“Sasuke distracted him so Kakaashi-sensei could knock him out!” Naruto seemed to realize he was trying to make something Sasuke had done sound cool and back pedaled. “I mean, I don’t even know why Kakashi-sensei needed him to do that. Sasuke didn’t actually--” Shisui didn’t wait for Naruto to finish.

“You used Sasuke as a _distraction_.” Shisui began, feeling the icy boil of anger thrumming up through his bones. Shisui reordered the sentence. “You used _Sasuke_ to distract Itachi, when he was having a panic attack over _children._ ” Kakashi continued to looked laughably unconcerned, but every member of Team 7 had stepped back. Sakura had both hands fisted in Naruto’s shirt, prepared to throw him back.

For once, Shisui did not moderate his reaction. 

“He was the closest thing I had to you.” Kakashi closed the book he had been hiding behind. He turned to face Shisui, the casual posture all a lie. Shisui felt his lip pull back from his teeth a fraction. A sneer. A baring of the teeth in an animal display of anger and fear.

“You made some very sweeping assumptions, Kakashi-san,” Shisui said. “And put your gennin in unnecessary danger.” Directly in the line of fire of Itachi. Those red eyes could have triggered any number of things. Uchiha were not safe. Shisui was the only thing they had ever been able to convince Itachi was safe. Sasuke was the antithesis of safety.

“How many years has it been since you have seen Itachi in action?” Kakashi rubbed his chin. “I would wager a few, so you’ll have to take my word when I say the risk was justified. I didn’t want to actually engage him in fair combat.”

Shisui didn’t know if Kakashi meant Itachi could have caused mass amounts of destruction without the distraction, or if he meant Kakashi wouldn’t have been able to restrain Itachi. Shisui wanted to say Itachi wasn’t an animal, but panic attacks were different. Shisui had had a few, and control was a lie in that space.

Shisui swallowed. He thought better of the threats he wanted to give. “Why are you here?” Kakashi kept his relaxed gaze on Shisui, and Shisui felt every second of dissection.

“It’s Tuesday.”

“Yes?” Shisui didn’t know why this meant he needed Kakashi to hunt him down with children. He didn’t want to play games with Kakashi. 

Damn. Itachi was rubbing off on Shisui, or Kakashi was just that annoying. 

“Well, since you’re not going on a mission today...” Kakashi rubbed his chin more thoughtfully, and the dissection relaxed. Claws back in their sheaths. Mild manners were back in play.

Shisui scowled. “You’re going to foist your gennin off on me.”

Naruto and Sakura’s faces transformed instantly.

“REALLY?” Naruto jumped forward. He beamed, and Shisui felt a pang of guilt. “Shisui-sensei is our sensei again?”

“No!” Shisui insisted.There was no way the kids liked him that much.

“For today,” Kakashi flipped his book open. “I have some paperwork I need to do.”

Sakura stood almost poised, but she was excited too. Shisui couldn’t get a read on Sasuke’s evasive glances, but he seemed slightly excited. Shisui threw his hands up in the air.

“What the hell.” He couldn’t leave Konoha until Itachi came home anyway. Maybe they could have some overlap. Shisui tried not to flush at the thought. 

“I have the perfect lesson to prepare you all for being Chuunin.”

Naruto brightened further, reaching supernova levels of cheer. “What?”

“Paperwork.”  
~  
“How long have you lived with Itachi-san?” Naruto asked. Evidently his answer to boredom was lots of prying questions. “Is he a strong ninja?”

“Of course he’s strong,” Sakura hissed.

“And why do you say that?” Shisui asked, because this could be a teaching moment. Hopefully, not one he would regret. He would also like to know what rumors and knowledge his kids had of himself and Itachi.

“Because Kakashi-sensei was careful about engaging him,” Sasuke answered. “And that’s what everyone says too. He’s...” Sasuke stopped. He glanced at Sakura.

“Right,” Sakura agreed. “And all those ANBU showed up, like they thought it would take all of them to take him down. That means he’s stronger than Kakashi-sensei, probably.”

Shisui didn’t add no ANBU would miss the chance to do violence to either Itachi or Shisui. “Anything else?”

“He had a strong Sharingan,” Sasuke added this slowly and carefully. Purposefully. He looked at Shisui, and Shisui realized how little Sasuke met anyone’s gaze. “He wasn’t trying to cast a genjutsu, but it was like…a magnet.”

Shisui nodded. “Pulling you in, trying to catch your attention.” He again wanted to toss Kakashi down a flight of stairs for putting these kids in Itachi’s way. He should have known better. Itachi shouldn’t have been giving himself panic attacks, but well.

Well.

“Shisui-sensei, is something wrong?” Sakura asked, and then added hurriedly. “We’ve been waiting for a long time.” They had been leaning against the wall off this holding room for about twenty-minutes, and it was Shisui’s third redirection.

“It never takes Kakashi-sensei this long to do paperwork,” Naruto muttered.

“My paperwork and his are completely different things,” Shisui rolled his eyes and Naruto. “My turn to ask questions: what kind of training have you been doing?”

“Boring stuff.”

“Did you start learning to walk on water yet?” Shisui asked. Naruto’s chakra control would not allow it, but Sakura could do it. It might help Sasuke with his Sharingan control.

“We can climb trees,” Naruto’s energy level shot up again. “Sakura rocked at it! She did it first try!” Shisui looked at Sakura, who flushed. She had always tested well, but physically besting her teammates was a rarity.

“Well, Sakura’s the best ninja in your team,” Shisui didn’t consider this a lie. As Sasuke and Naruto hit their maturity, she might fall behind, but for now she could trash them with the proper motivation. Personally, Shisui thought she and Naruto make a perfect team. Sasuke still hugged the fringes, but maybe he would warm up.

“I’m getting better.” Naruto made an aggressive pose, and kept grinning. “We’re going to _own_ the exams.”

“Unless he exams are written,” Sasuke muttered. Naruto wilted.

“That’s why we’re all studying.” Sakura looked up at Shisui. “We do it at Naruto’s when Kakashi-sensei is late or lets us go early.”

“It’s not helping,” Sasuke added. Shisui watched with endless amusement as Naruto puffed up with rage. Sakura let it happen, stepping out of the way as the insults began to fly.

“Figured out this is how they bond?” Shisui asked her in a low voice.

Sakura shook her head. “I was thinking Naruto might stop reacting so much, or Sasuke would stop baiting him.” They both looked at the escalating contest of insults. Hopefully the addition of outside competition would make them a united front.

Or, well, there would always be next year.

“I think this is just how they’re going to be: antagonistically affectionate.” Shisui spread a hand in the bickering pairs direction. He liked the look on Sakura’s face. It seemed taking a leadership role with Naruto had given her more confidence, and it had certainly given Naruto the grounding he needed in his team.

“Oi, try to be a little louder and obnoxious. Maybe they’ll speed things up,” Shisui suggested dryly. Neither of the boys heard him. Sakura fiddled with her sleeve. She had started wearing half gloves like Kakashi, and her fingers had small bruises and cuts on them. She did not look like the same little girl she had been months ago, and Shisui had honestly been pushing her the hardest. Sasuke and Naruto had certain immunities with their...circumstances, but Sakura did not.

“....is he really okay?” Sakura asked in a low voice, watching her teammates.

Unlike Naruto and Sasuke, Sakura had a better context for what Itachi and Shisui might be, and how they lived. Shisui let his shoulders relax. “He got in some trouble, but nothing major. You can’t control a panic attack, and no one was injured.”

Sakura nodded, but her brow was furrowed. “Did you get in trouble?” She glanced at him. It suddenly occurred to Shisui he had never asked what anyone said to Team 7 about being trained by a Dog. He had never been with them in any setting but the isolated training fields. Did their fellow gennin rag them for it? Did the younger Chuunin? Did they all carry some of his stigma by association?

“Not yet,” Shisui managed a grin and gave her a wink. “This is basically a bureaucratic hissy fit, and I can’t leave Konoha until Itachi comes back anyway. It’s just annoying.” Degrading. Dehumanizing. Destructive to the sense of self worth.

Sakura didn’t quite look convinced, but finally the clerk was back at the desk with a stack of papers.

“You need to get these signed by the medics again. I think is is all because you left the clinic so quickly. After you do that, bring the papers back to me and I’ll see what I can do.” The clerk explained, and then smiled. Shisui felt a rush of relief and wanted to laugh. He might actually done something wrong this time.

“Thank you.” The word were heartfelt, but the clerk’s face suddenly froze. Sasuke and Naruto had gone silent. Shisui felt a prickle go up his spine, raising ever hair on his body with a premonition. He turned slowly, fixing the polite mask on his face.

“ANBU-san, what can I help you with today?” Shisui asked, voice honey sweet and kind.

He probably could have avoided the blow to the head, but he knew what came after that would be worse.  
~  
Shisui woke up unbound, but closed in a small white room. A white masked ANBU poured Shisui a cup of tea. They knelt on the floor and picked up their own cup of tea, holding it in their lap.

“Your cousin has defected.” The white ANBU spoke in a smooth, musical voice.

“All my cousins are dead,” Shisui said automatically. His head throbbed, sinking sick and aching. Blood had crusted on the back of his head. He was meant to hurt. The room swung and swam. Shisui swallowed. He didn’t want to puke.

“Almost true,” White trilled on. “Your charge. Your roommate. Your partner. Your lover.” Their head shifted a fraction. “Your Itachi.”

“No.” Shisui stomach curled into a tight not. _Your Itachi._ They would name Itachi anything to get a rise out of him. “He would not.”

“Of course he would.” With a snarl like an animal, an ANBU all dressed in black stepped forward. His mask covered his face and hair completely. “He hates Konoha.”

Shisui raised his eyes to stare at the black mask. “I’ve lived with his for the past twelve years. I think I have greater insight into his character and motivations than you do.” Defending Itachi had always been the hardest balancing act. He could not allow them to doubt Itachi, but he could not disrespect them too much. He could not let them know how fully capable of _anything_ Itachi was.

“Either you’re lying as a test, or something has happened and you don’t know the full story,” Shisui swallowed. His mouth was tacky but he didn’t dare drink the tea. “Itachi did not--would never defect from Konoha.”

“How are you so sure he hasn’t defected from a country that has treated him like shit? Isn’t he smart? Isn’t he a _genius_?” The black masked ANBU stepped closer to Shisui, leaning down, thrusting the black mask closer. Shisui waited several pounding heart beats.

“He would never leave me,” Shisui answered truthfully, letting a touch of steel slide into his voice. Shisui looked at the impassive white masked ANBU. “I promised I would keep him in check, and I have done that.” Shisui had done no such thing. No one had ever had control of Itachi.

“He is your monster, yes, but he is human. Even monsters are nostalgic,” Shisui swallowed. “Even monsters fall in love.”

Black masked ANBU pulled back, hands on hips. The white masked ANBU leaned forward to pour themselves more tea. It smelled heady and thick and the steam was tinted. “Anyone can fall in love.

“And be blinded by it. _Love_ can be a powerful force for motivation or delusion,” the white masked ANBU drew steam up from the cup.

 _I am not in love._ should be Shisui’s line. His patent, quick, cold _I am just as much a monster as he is_ line for ANBU. 

“If Itachi has defected, I will hunt him down for you myself,” Shisui let his irritation show. He thought he actually would, after everything Itachi had just put him through. Silence followed. Shisui waited in it, feeling his heart beating faster.

“Could you beat him?” 

Shisui remembered Kakashi’s earlier comment. How long had it been since he had sparred with Itachi in earnest? He had never seen Itachi in action in a mission, all restraint gone. He had no idea what Itachi was capable of anymore.

“Yes,” Shisui lied.

“Good.” The white masked ANBU nodded.

“If you attempt to run or assist him in escape…” The black masked ANBU paused. “Mitarashi Anko’s not on a mission.”

“You’ll kill her if I misbehave?” Shisui asked, wry instead of furious or sick.

“And the girl from your new gennin team,” The white masked ANBU added sweetly. “You’re not the kind of shinobi to let an innocent suffer for your mistakes, are you?” Shisui wondered if they had just been going for a reaction. Should he had been outraged when they threatened Anko? His face now went blank, pale, sick. Would they actually hurt Sakura? He wanted to doubt it, but he knew better than to assume anything. This felt like a new low to Shisui, and maybe they had pushed ANBU to this.

“No.” Would Shisui kill Itachi, or attempt to in earnest, to keep Sakura safe? It wouldn’t come to that. It could not. “Would you mind healing the concussion you gave me before we go?” The white masked ANBU stood up, hands glowing green. The black masked ANBU threw a uniform at Shisui.

“Welcome to ANBU, Dog.”

The mask was a snarling weasel.


	13. 10. Misplaced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am very uncomfortable writing most of these characters and I regret this chapter.

Sasuke fully expected Shisui to dodge the second ANBU. It all happened so quickly Sasuke could never have reacted in time, but this was Shisui. Shisui’s reputation was for speed, and Sasuke had seen him put it to use to escape them or just break up fights.

Instead, with a tiny shriek from Sakura, Shisui dropped. The blow had been precise and heavy. Too heavy, Sasuke thought. The sound of it turned his stomach in a way he hadn’t expected. Naruto’s face went round with shock as Shisui crumpled. The ANBU waited for Shisui to hit the ground before leaning over to hoist Shisui over his shoulder like a package, not a human.

“Hey!” Naruto shouted, and both masks swiveled to face him. Naruto plowed on, completely unperturbed. “You can’t do that!”

Sasuke was very sure they could. A drop of blood hit the floor. It trickled down Shisui’s jaw and chin in a thin, red line, dropping heavily to the floor in another drop. In that moment Sasuke didn’t feel there was enough difference between unconscious and dead. Shisui’s body hung in dead weight, limp and loose in a way totally alien to their quick, perpetually tense teacher. 

“Stay back.” The first ANBU motioned to Naruto. “This doesn’t concern you.”

“You’re kidnapping our teacher. You attacked him.” Naruto looked like he wanted to throw himself at the ANBU, but even he knew that was useless. 

“He would have gone with you if you had just asked,” Sakura added. “You should have asked.”

“Go back to your teacher,” The first ANBU, the one not holding Shisui’s body over his shoulder, said.

“Our teacher is right here,” Sasuke said, feeling the shiver of fear but also the anger. The sense that this was wrong. This was unfair. They all knew this. The clerk had vanished, even though she had been so helpful moments before.

“Yeah, you just knocked him out.” Naruto stepped forward, and the ANBU shoved him back. The motion looked gentle, but it toppled Naruto and slid him feet across the floor.

“Hey!” Sakura’s response was automatic. She moved forward, for what Sasuke didn’t know, but he was moving too, and then the ANBU vanished. Three gennin had never been anything but annoying to them, but Sasuke still felt he had let Shisui down.

“Naruto.” Sakura rounded on the blond after staring at the empty air for a moment. Naruto was already climbing to his feet, rubbing his chest. He’d probably have a bruise to rival the one Shisui gave Sakura.

“I’m okay.” Naruto sounded out of breath, but his face was flushed bright with anger. “I’m going to tell the Hokage.”

“ _What_?” Sakura almost gaped. “You’d never get in. We should go tell Kakashi-sensei. It’ll be faster.”

“I can get in,” Naruto didn’t sound boastful, like he normally would. He still looked angry. Sasuke felt it deep in his chest too. That surprised him, actually. He thought he knew Dog’s treatment in Konoha better than either of his teammates, and he should have accepted this. He should have, he realized, accepted it as Shisui’s due.

Sakura measured Naruto for a few long moments, and then nodded. “Sasuke and I will go tell Kakashi-sensei. You go tell the Hokage.”

Naruto nodded, as serious as he ever got. “Why did they do that?” The question was likely rhetorical, but Sasuke answered before that really registered. The fact was sitting heavy in his mind. The difference between himself and Shisui--a thick black line that meant less than everyone wanted it to.

“Because he’s a Dog.”

Sasuke didn’t try to avoid Naruto lunge, and let Naruto shove him back against the wall. “Don’t call him that.” Naruto snarled, the low growl alarming. Shikamaru has casually dropped the epithet in front of Naruto, and every bit of Shisui’s training had gone into trying to break Shikamaru's nose.

Sasuke met Naruto’s angry blue gaze with his Sharingan. Naruto, idiot he was, never flinched from it.

“Naruto, you need to go now,” Sakura stepped up and put a hand on Naruto’s shoulder. “Right now. Shisui-sensei needs us, and he needs us to be quick.” Naruto slowly stepped back from Sasuke.

Sasuke smirked. “Let’s see who gets real help first.”

“Like Kakashi-sensei is going to be able to do anything.” Naruto snorted. Sakura shoved them both on the shoulders. 

“You _both_ talk too much,” She muttered as she took off running for the door. Naruto managed to pass her before she reached it, but Sasuke had the feeling getting Shisui out of whatever trouble he was in would be up to them and Kakashi. 

If they could.  
~  
Sasuke had something no other Uchiha had.

He had a living sibling.

Sasuke had never met his sibling. It was a clandestine relationship established over secret notes. Over the years Sasuke had vacillated between disbelief and belief. It was impossible he should have a sibling. But all the Uchiha had been in one clan, so why wasn’t there a decent chance on sibling pair had survived? Some days it seemed possible. Other days it seemed laughable.

Sasuke had been seven when he had first found a small note with a tiny tin of salve that read _”Our mother was kind, but stern. She used this salve on her hands.”_ Sasuke had been shocked and immediately burned the note. Curiosity had taken him and he’d opened the tin to sniff the contents. The smell had been familiar in the way some sounds were--distant and almost aching.

No one spoke of his parents, or his previous family. He was told he had been an Uchiha, but had been too young to be tainted by his relations. Thus, Sasuke was an Uchiha, not a Dog. Sasuke had his elderly, distant foster parents to raise him. Even at that age he was aware of the standard he had to live up to. He must be better than his traitorous family. His family delighted in having him pass little tests, and Sasuke assumed the note was a test. He had burned the note and proved he was not interested in his previous family.

Only, no one ever mentioned the note. Sasuke waited for a year, and then another note turned up in his hand in the morning.

_”Our father wrote poetry.”_

The notes were sporadic things. Sasuke burned them as soon as he read them, but he had memorized the words and the shape of the kanji. They appeared in strange places--his room, the garden, but always where Sasuke would find them first. Sasuke wanted to ask questions back, but his one attempt had ended up shredded with a reprimand.

Sasuke’s sibling had to be a Dog. Another Uchiha might have approached him, but no one did. He never saw any sign the other Uchiha he saw or spoke to were anything to him but distant cousins. Sasuke made a study of his own features and those of the children around him. He dissected the looks of the Hyuuga, trying to determine what was clan features and what was familial. He got very good at it, but from what he could tell the Uchiha had had more variation of features than the Hyuuga did.

None of this searching and knowing changed Sasuke’s feelings towards Dogs. He just knew somewhere, one of those Dogs would not hunt him down. One of those dogs did not hate him for being loyal to Konoha and “betraying” the memory of his clan. When Sasuke had first heard a dog was coming to train him, Sasuke had originally thought Shisui might be it. Him. Sasuke’s brother. Dogs hated the younger Uchiha, and there seemed to be no other reason a Dog would agree to train him. Maybe there was some familial quick to the Sharingan Sasuke needed to know to activate it fully.

One good look at Shisui’s features had proven that wrong. One note had been a sketch of Sasuke’s parents’ faces, and that had been the one thing he had almost not burned. He thought he remembered it perfectly, and Shisui’s burnt brown hair and wild curls did not fit in with Sasuke’s family. Sasuke had still spent hours examining Shisui’s face, trying to decide if they shared features or mannerisms or anything beyond the Sharingan.

When Sasuke had jumped in front of Itachi, tensed to dodge and something like terrified knowing that he would never be able to move fast enough, he realized this was what he and Shisui shared. Sasuke’s eyes found what they had been looking for in Shisui’s face for months all in and instant. Itachi’s eyes had gone comically wide, and he had mouthed Sasuke’s name. There had been recognition. 

Until that moment, Sasuke had not really believed those notes. Just because he was an Uchiha, did not mean he could trust anything more than the Dogs did. The world had shifted under him in an instant. His brother was a Dog. His brother was _the_ Dog. Itachi had his own terrifying mythos among the Uchiha, and Sasuke was related to him.

He wished, he really wished, he had never gotten any of those notes.

“Kakashi-sensei!” Sakura and Sasuke burst into the room where Kakashi had been doing paperwork and was now cornered by Maito Gai. Sakura pulled up short and jerked out a bow for Gai. Sasuke didn’t bother.

“ANBU took Shisui-sensei,” Sasuke said before Gai could say anything.

“Well, these things happen,” Kakashi admitted, unconcerned. Gai, at least, frowned.

“They knocked him out without even speaking to him,” Sakura added. Her entire face had flushed. “Naruto went to tell the Hokage.” Kakashi had paused, staring into a space above Sakura’s shoulder.

“Kakashi-san, that seems extreme while he was teaching your team,” Gai said, brow furrowed.

Kakashi eye smiled. “Neither you or I have any say in anything ANBU does. Shisui is under their...jurisdiction.”

“You helped Itachi-san,” Sakura pointed out.

“I contained a dangerous situation,” Kakashi hedged. “And advised the arriving ANBU of what had happened. Likely Shisui’s already in ANBU headquarters, and there is nothing we can do.” Of course, Sasuke had known that was true. He knew to some extent the measures that were taken to keep Dogs in line, mostly so he could be glad of his freedom.

“It isn’t right!” Sakura shouted. Sakura didn’t shout at anyone but Naruto. “He hasn’t-- _they_ haven’t--” Sakura stopped, Sasuke saw tears standing in her eyes. “Something is _wrong._ That isn’t how it usually goes, and Shisui-sensei has been with _us_. He hasn’t done anything to deserve what just happened.” Sakura looked like she forcibly stopped herself, but Sasuke could swear an unspoken communication went on between her and Kakashi.

“A tender heart in the full blossom of youth! Have no fear, Kakashi-san and I will get to the bottom of this incident,” Maito Gai said, and for some reason this made Sakura’s tears heavier, pouring down her cheeks. She still looked murderous. Kakashi now stared out the window.

“Gai, I think it’s best if you don’t get involved.” Kakashi closed his orange book, tapping it on the table he’d been sitting at. As Gai turned, beginning a no doubt long winded speech, Kakashi smiled under his mask.

“It seems my team is upset, and I can’t leave them alone while they are. You’ve had a gennin team longer than I have, so I’m sure you have words of wisdom to comfort them.” Kakashi patted Sakura on the shoulder. She turned her head to look at him.

Gai looked enthused. “Of course I do.”

“I think you three should take the rest of the day off after--”

Kakashi stopped as two ANBU appeared in the doorway, and another came in through the window. Kakashi, smoothly but instantly, put Sakura behind him. This also put Gai between her and the ANBU at the window. Sasuke took the hint and stepped back into the protected space. No one spoke.

“Shisui is supposed to be with your team,” One of the ANBU said. She had an open serpent’s mouth on her mask.

Kakashi looked at Gai, and then nodded to Sakura. “An ANBU squad already collected him, I was told.”

Sakura nodded. “Two. They knocked him out and left with him.”

There was another long silence, and then the ANBU at the window spoke.

“Shit.”

Serpent jerked her head at him, but her body posture said she agreed with his sentiment. “We’ll need descriptions of the ANBU.”

“Sakura and Sasuke were present when it happened.” This brought another muttered oath from the ANBU at the window.

Serpent shook her head. “We can’t rely on gennin descriptions. Bull will do a surface image extraction from them. It will save time.”

“I would offer the use of my nin-dogs, but if you’re implying a rogue element has taken Shisui, it’s just as likely you are the rogue element…” Kakashi mused, rubbing his chin. Sasuke felt his heart start to pound. They had just let Shisui be kidnapped. In broad daylight, someone had just kidnapped a Dog from Konoha. Had they made it outside the walls? What did this mean for the safety of the Uchiha?

“With that in mind, allowing you to touch the mind of my gennin doesn’t seem wise either.” Despite Kakashi’s mild tone, Sasuke felt very certain Kakashi would not budge on this and would, if needed, use violence to enforce it. Gai had both his hands on Sakura’s shoulders, but Sakura had firmed up again and her tears were gone.

Serpent whipped her mask off. Sasuke had no idea who she was, but she looked like she was around Kakashi’s age. “I don’t have time for this. Look.” She stepped up to Kakashi, stabbing a finger into his chest. Her voice lowered to a growl. “Itachi’s squad is _dead_ , Itachi is _AWOL_ and now you’re telling me Shisui was just taken by ANBU. ANBU doesn’t have him. We are the ANBU sent to get him. _I_ am his ANBU coordinator, just like you were for Itachi. You know what that means. No one ‘takes him’ without my knowing or say-so, and he is not getting out of Konoha on my watch.

“If you need your own team to balance out your paranoia, do it, but do it now, because we are going after him. You are going to summon your nin-dogs immediately, and we are dragging him back here,” The woman demanded, and then slammed her mask back over her face.

“Get moving. Pulling someone’s eyes out of their face doesn’t take long. If we’re lucky, that’s all they’re planning to do to him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this cleared up some questions and raised a few more.


	14. 11. Cousins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, but quicker update?

Itachi did not know what to do.

The sentiment seemed needlessly dramatic. He could see several courses of action, but he did not know which one to take. Normally, the threads and implications of things were fairly obvious. This time, Itachi realized he had fallen into a swamp of ANBU’s making. 

Normally, if an ANBU found themselves in a situation of betrayal and total team collapse, the plan would be getting reinforcements and hunting the traitor down. The issue arose, if ANBU were corrupt, if they were seeking to sell him to someone else, who was Itachi supposed to trust? All his life ANBU had been the ultimate authority, but now some elements in it were false. Traitors, and Itachi had just lost the only member of ANBU he could trust. If he turned himself in to the wrong segment he could be worse off than before.

Itachi ordered the facts as he moved. Shin had betrayed them. This opened the door to their being more than one mole in ANBU. This also explained why so many Dogs had disappeared in the last two years. There might be three of four left counting himself and Shisui. Maybe fewer. Itachi had been distracted over the last few days, but ANBU would know when any Dog was outside of Konoha. Had the Uchiha been targeted as well?

It would be hard to take an intact Dog captive. Beyond their clan taught skill of eye destruction, Konoha had extra measures in place. For ANBU, their masks were rigged to explode. Natsu had carried the trigger, so she could remotely detonate it as needed. Shin had attempted to take advantage of the very rare instance when Itachi was out without his mask.

Shin didn’t know that, soon after becoming Itachi’s captain, Natsu had dismantled the jutsu. She told Itachi she was never going to use it, so he would just have to be careful and not allow himself to be captured or used that way. The explosion had been a mass of exploding tags Natsu had been carrying, but Itachi watched them to think he was incinerated. Dead.

Obviously, Itachi had to go back. Shisui was still in Konoha. Shisui, who Itachi had told to trust him. Shisui, who Itachi had assured he had everything under control.

_Trust me._

Itachi’s choice, therefore, was to question Shin and see how for reaching the rot was.

Itachi was aware every moment he was unaccounted for was a moment ANBU could be taking Itachi’s absence out on Shisui. At the very simplest, it was a moment Shisui would think him dead or defected. _Trust me._ Itachi thought desperately. He could not return to Konoha without knowledge. Even if he got back to the “right” segment of ANBU, his information would be cut off. He could not risk that, so he had to risk everything else.

That didn’t mean he wouldn’t take precautions. The precautions were arguably more dangerous than the position Itachi currently found himself in, but the risk gave him more power. If it all went badly anyway...well, Itachi would have to hope his luck held out.

It was not a crow that followed Shin and his band of ambushers after they determined Itachi’s body was bones and nothing else. Their lack of surprise and acceptance of what had happened made Itachi think they had witnessed this before. Dogs not in ANBU had similar safeguards, headbands rigged to explode, usually something centrally located to help get rid of any DNA or tissue as needed or deemed necessary. The eyes were the biggest concern, but if possible Konoha didn’t want any part of the Uchiha clan ever getting into someone else’s hands.

The saying went a Dog would fight harder and more viciously than anyone else, because they knew surrender was never an option for them. Itachi thought they just had a lot of prove and not many reasons to live. 

Itachi could not sneak his crow disguised as a wren into the hideout where Shin as his band went in, so the bird sat and watched while Itachi more slowly made his way to the location. By the time he arrived, soaked through with rain and running lower on chakra than he’d like, most of the party had departed over the past hour. Shin would be close to alone now. 

There were eight shinobi, not counting Shin, left. Itachi was sure six had left. They could have come back in through a back way, but Itachi couldn’t wait any longer. Itachi felt a little foolish for his previous safeguard, but there wasn’t much he could do about it now. He had needed to restock on supplies anyway. Itachi pushed a soldiers pill back into his mouth, cracking it with his molars before he held it under his tongue. It tasted terrible, but it would absorb faster. The stimulant would keep him on his feet a little longer.

Itachi slid out of the trees, and circled his way to the rocky hide-out. It was well hidden, but Itachi had seen where all the traps were. It was a hasty hide away, as the band had likely expected to run straight to wherever they had come from with Itachi in hand. Now, Itachi slid down through a crack in the earth and landed, ready for anything.

It seemed he had underestimated them.

Shin was waiting for Itachi in a well lit chamber of rock. Things reordered in Itachi’s mind. He had not looked forward to confronting Shin, but he had been confident he could extract the truth from Shin. In a way, he needed to hear Shin’s justification for what he had done to their team from his own lips. What had been offered to him? How long had he been a traitor? What did everyone now know about Itachi that only Shin could tell them?

Shin would never give him those answers. What had been Shin was now a well abused pile of meat. The torture had likely only ended minutes ago, as blood still dripped from his body. Shin’s fingernails were all gone, and teeth littered the floor around him. His eyes had been gouged out and placed in his mouth.. His tongue lay in his lap, and his intestines had been looped around his throat in a festive garland.

The ambushers had not left so easily because they believed Itachi dead, but because they knew he would be easier to draw out and than to track down. Itachi surmised Shin had only been useful for his place on Itachi’s squad, not because he was their only link to ANBU. Shin had been punished for failure, or he had reached the end of his usefulness. Itachi now wished he had come straight here.

Itachi smiled as the remaining member of the group came out of the shadows. “Congratulations, your ploy worked, but you’ve deprived me of my revenge.” Itachi let the smile spread wider. “I’ll have to take it somewhere else.”

The man shrugged. “You were too slow, and failure is not something we tolerate.” He walked forward, his joints moving oddly. He seemed spider-like and completely unafraid of Itachi.

“I am cautious by nature,” Itachi stalled, eyes moving carefully around the room. “But I’m sure you have just as much to tell me as Shin would have. It just won’t be as satisfying to make your talk.”

The man smiled. He had too many teeth. Less fangs, more small tusks. Itachi did his best not to react. “Open your ears and you will hear a very many things from me.” Itachi heard the first odd resonance.

“Will you sing me an entrancing lullaby while you wait for your comrades to come back and surround me?” Itachi asked just as sweetly. “Now you’re underestimating me.”

“You have terrible stamina, and you have been running all day. You’ll never be able to take us all,” The man purred. His voice was going strange at the edges. Itachi tried not to show he noticed. “Your heart isn’t really in this fight. Why fight so hard for those who wish you dead?”

“If you know so much about me, then you know you’re band of misfits can’t slow me down. You’ve only killed people less skilled than me today.” Itachi pointed out. “I don’t see any of you as an obstacle.”

“Perhaps, but if you go back, we will only pull you out again. You are the best of the Uchiha left, and he won’t settle for an inferior product,” The man’s body was not the right shape anymore, and his skin was discoloring. Itachi blamed the sound genjutsu and activated his Sharingan. 

“Everything will be much better if your just come with me.” The genjutsu in the words hooked Itachi then, but the shock of hearing those words in his mother’s voice jarred it loose. It was a bad choice for an orphan, but it was worth remembering.

“I was recently informed by eyes are inferior,” Itachi observed dryly. “Perhaps you can tell me who it is that values them so highly? What master pulls your strings?” Itachi hooked his own genjutsu into the man’s mind, but he did this right as the man’s skin twisted and writhed and became covered in black tattoos. His body broke and twisted and grew and Itachi found himself ducking hideously long limbs and grasping hands with talons. Shin’s body fell to the floor and Itachi came boiling out of the den, throwing two explosives back down and breathing white hot fire back in.

The rain had not let up, and steam hissed into the air with the screaming from below. Itachi still translocated, fetching up against a large tree as multiple weapons and attacks hit the ground where he had been moments ago. Itachi could feel in his bones he was at his limit. He did not do well at marathons. He was quick because he had to be.

Itachi looked at the shinobi around him. He breathed. His chest felt tight.

“You can’t win,” One shinobi said. “You’re exhausted.”

Itachi smiled. “That’s why I brought help.” And, with a noise like a tidal wave, help arrived.

Itachi tossed another soldier pill into his mouth and threw himself forward.  
~  
“You’re not at your best, minnow,” Kisame observed after the carnage. He had just watched Itachi torture a man for thirty minutes, applying genjutsu and physical pain to the utmost of his finesse. The results had been enlightening. Torture worked for Itachi because he could tell when his victim was telling him the truth. Torture also made Itachi want to vomit, his head a riot of remembered sensations and terrors.

“Did you know Orochimaru was hunting Dogs?” Itachi asked Kisame. He felt too tired to connect the dots himself, but he had to. He had invited Kisame into his space, and now he must perform. He wondered how much of that information he could have gotten straight from Kisame, and what information was news for them both.

“I’m not sure why that information would interest me.” Kisame finished stitching up a gash in his lower thigh. He hadn’t numbed it at all, and Itachi guessed he didn’t have easy access to a healer. That, or the man enjoyed the pain of sewing himself up. Itachi felt all his cuts and bruises. He didn’t have any major damage.

“I thought your interest in me might be a more general one, and who was buying an selling Dogs would be of interest to you.” There were, Itachi had learned and realized all at once, two dogs left. Himself and Shisui. Suddenly, they were a rare commodity. “I’m flattered to know your attentions are personal.”

“I appreciate a good weapon, but you’re underutilized. You let a very clumsy hand wield you. Are you hoping they’ll cut their hand off one day?” Kisame moved like someone sated. Truly, he was a monster in the field. Itachi had no doubt of that. On a better day, Itachi could beat him. Today, Itachi could barely stay on his feet. Itachi’s life suddenly hinged on Kisame not having a personal stake in selling Itachi’s eyes or person to someone else.

Or, did it hinge on this mythical other Uchiha’s plans?

“Until recently, I had not thought much beyond surviving,” Itachi admitted.

“You have survived. Now what?” Kisame weighted the words. Itachi stood, unattended, untracked, in a perfect position to vanish. Orochimaru, defected snake of his home village, was after Itachi’s eyes. ANBU was infected with his agents, or just corrupted individuals who wanted whatever Orochimaru could offer. Itachi’s team was dead. He’d been unsupervised for...he didn’t know how many hours. He had never failed any mission this badly. What punishment awaited him? What convoluted logic would condemn him for doing his best?

If there had ever been a time to cut and run, now was it.

“Could you remove someone likely in the bowels of ANBU headquarters from Konoha?” Itachi asked the question without irony, meeting Kisame’s gaze. The man enjoyed Itachi’s honesty.

Kisame smiled as if many things made sense. “Konoha has a hostage.”

Itachi shrugged. “I have a cousin.”

Kisame snorted. “All Uchiha are _cousins._ We can find you a new one.”

“This one is special to me.” Itachi resisted the urge to ask where Kisame would find him more cousins. How many? Had they escaped the Purge? Had they somehow defected before that? Perhaps during the last war, vanishing among the hundred of MIA?

Itachi forced his mind back to Shisui. How badly would they hurt him? “Without him, I don’t exist.”

Kisame’s words took Itachi off guard. “Wouldn’t he want you to be free of Konoha if you could be?”

At first blush, Kisame didn’t seem clever. His body and fighting style screamed he was a man who relied on brute force. Itachi should have known better. “Are you asking me to run away with you, Kisame-san?”

“ANBU at least put up a good fight,” Kisame shrugged. “Things have been quiet lately.”

“I’m glad I could provide you with some entertainment, then.” Itachi pulled off his blood soaked gloves. 

Kisame moved only a fraction slower than Shisui. Itachi’s body stuttered, muscles and mind just a fraction slower than usual. That was slow enough. Itachi’s body slammed into the tree with bruising force, feet well off the ground, but Itachi had them firmly plants on Kisame’s torso. The man’s rough hand was around Itachi’s neck.

“If you’re also going to attempt to kidnap me, I’m disappointed by your lack of originality,” Itachi’s voice was rough with the pressure on his windpipe.

Kisame’s smile was all teeth. “There wouldn’t be any sport in that, Itachi-san, but you have a habit of leaving right when our conversations are getting interesting.”

“Perhaps we have different definitions of interesting.” Itachi forced his muscles to relax, only to tense again as he saw a figure over Kisame’s shoulder. He wore the same uniform Kisame did, and walked forward calmly.

"I think you'll find this one very interesting." Kisame assured Itachi, but he didn't let go. The approaching figure stopped just behind Kisame.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again, Itachi. You certainly have grown.” The words carried the implication that what Itachi had grown into might not be desirable or impressive. Itachi was about to have an answer to the question of what the pre-Purge Uchiha would think of the Dogs.

"I think it's high time we had a little talk."


	15. 12. Cleave

Shisui hated the feeling of the uniform. The mask smothered him. The tight clothing felt restrictive. It reminded of him the first time he’d seen Itachi in uniform. He’d wanted to rip it off Itachi. To free him, because ANBU were their monsters. The ANBU uniform had seemed like the final invasion. It seemed they had then taken everything from him Shisui had made Itachi into their monster, and now they were done with him. Shisui had not expected Itachi to live much longer. He had expected ANBU to burn him to the dregs and discard his corpse when they were done. What else could be possible for this tiny creature wrapped in black and white? This _child_.

Shisui had gotten alcohol poisoning for the first time that night. 

Itachi had not died. He had risen to every challenge and surpassed it. At what cost, Shisui didn’t fully know. He wondered if Itachi felt the same in his uniform. Did he view the ANBU who performed with such ruthless perfection a different person? Did he become someone different that was left behind in the bowels of ANBU headquarters when Itachi came home to Shisui?

Making things worse, Shisui wore heavy metal bands around his wrists, ankles, and knees. They could be magnetized by one of the captors, rendering Shisui instantly immobile. They, of course, thought he would run despite their threats. They probably thought this was all part of Shisui and Itachi’s plan to escape Konoha.

Some mad lover’s gambit for freedom?

 _We were both such idiots._ Nothing was worth having other’s threatened to keep them in line. Shisui should have never shown any kindness towards his gennin, but they would have found someone else to target. He couldn’t even fully blame Itachi, as who could say what ANBU believed about them? If they fought daily, it might be seen as a cover for affection. If they hurt each other, it might be viewed as a kink. 

_You have no control over your own life._ Konoha and ANBU wanted Shisui to twist himself into knots trying to decide what he had done to deserve this. What had he done wrong? How had he failed everyone? The truth was what Itachi had painted it. It didn’t matter what they did. They could never control anything. Maybe it would be better to go down fighting instead of trying to minimize their losses.

They stopped twice at checkpoints before leaving the building, and then took to the trees. They stopped at two more check points, and then they were outside of Konoha. Shisui wondered if he could get out of range of his captors before they activated the jutsu. He didn’t know if there would be a point.

The day was intoxicating. The forest seemed deceptively endless. Even with everything going on, Shisui felt like some burden had been set down. He was outside of Konoha. He was moving. Every stretch, jump, push, seemed to wake him up a bit more. He only had four pairs of eyes on him instead of unseen dozens.

Never mind he was going to strangle Itachi. In a non-erotic way. Shisui held onto the hope this was a disaster not of Itachi’s making, but they would be punished for it anyway. He couldn’t actually kill Itachi. He didn’t think so. Killing Itachi would be antithesis to what Shisui was at his core. 

Shisui’s leg began to ache after the first hour. They were moving fast. They hadn’t stopped to rest. Shisui didn’t know if he were in danger of refracturing something, or if it were just the ache of disuse. Maybe the healers would do a quicker job the second time around. Shisui put some serious thought to whether or not he could beat Itachi. They knew each other well, but not their fighting styles. It might come down to who was more reluctant to hurt the other. 

Shisui would likely lose.

Eventually, Shisui couldn’t keep up the pace. He was out of condition, and his leg was really starting to hurt. Signaling for a break did nothing. Shisui finally stopped. The ANBU had switched to a cat and dragon masks, and Dragon slammed into Shisui’s back, knocking him down on the wide branch as he activated the jutsu that snatched Shisui’s wrists and ankles together. Shisui slammed into the branch and tried no to sigh.

“Why don’t we take a break and you give me an actual briefing,” Shisui suggested. “So I have a better chance at handling whatever situation you’re about to throw me into.” He had a feeling they wouldn’t, but Shisui couldn’t keep up with their pace.

“Why are you trying to delay us,” Dragon demanded.

“I have been on medical leave for a shattered leg for...I don’t know, two months or more? I cannot keep up an ANBU pace right now,” Shisui explained with the same tone he would use for Naruto. Politely calm and explanatory. Breaking it down into small bits for easy consumption.

“Does your leg hurt?” Cat asked. Maybe she was a tiger.

“It aches. I don’t know if I can refracture it, but I know I won’t be able to beat Itachi if I’m exhausted,” Shisui explained as Cat knelt down and spread glowing green hands over his leg. “Really, if you’ll tell me what’s going on, I can talk him back in and we won’t need to fight him.”

Surprisingly, Dragon spoke. “Itachi’s team is dead. Itachi was seen alive in an information pit not long after we learned his team was dead. I think it’s obvious he’s defected.”

“No, if Itachi had defected, you would think he was dead. He wouldn’t be seen anywhere. That isn’t what has happened here.” The ache in his leg had lessened a bit. “Could I have a drink?”

Dragon didn’t answer that question. “It sounds like the two of you have discussed this.”

“I just know how he thinks. I just know if Itachi wanted to defect, he’d have vanished without a trace and you would not see him popping up in an information pit.” Maybe not a total truth. Maybe they had talked about it.

Dragon snorted. “And leave you?” Shisui took a deep, calming breath. No, Itachi would not leave him.

“Itachi would go anywhere you went, wouldn’t he?” Cat seemed like she was trying to be soothing. “If you’re in Konoha, he’ll come to Konoha. If you went somewhere else, he would go there as well.”

“I’m loyal to Konoha.” The words were automatic. “My father…”

“Yes, the great Kagami. The only untainted Uchiha.” Cat smoothed her hands down Shisui’s thigh. “He’s right. There’s atrophy and damage to his leg. The tendons in his legs are damaged, and not even the healers could put it right. If he keeps running on it, it won’t hold up for running, much less a fight.”

“So, what, we carry him?” Dragon asked.

Cat contemplated this. The mask turned to Shisui. “You won’t need to fight to bring your cousin to heel?”

“No.” Shisui didn’t trust that they had shifted their position so quickly on this. They had threatened Sakura so he would fight. They’d likely change their minds again when they found Itachi, or they would use the leverage to force him to do something else.

Cat looked back up. “You’ll have to carry him.”

Dragon looked disgruntled. “He’ll slow us down.”

“Trust me. This will be safest and fastest in the long run.” Cat reasoned. “The situation is already volatile enough without him flitting around. Have you forgotten his nickname?” Shisui tensed as her hands rested on his thigh. He didn’t think they were talking about slowing down, but he could not move. The bindings were effective and unbreakable unless the jutsu was disrupted.

“The long run can wait until we’re further from Konoha,” Dragon hissed. “Get your hands off him.”

“Trust me. This will be easier for everyone in the long run.” Dragon lunged, but it was too late. Cat rebroke Shisui’s leg.

Or that was what it felt like. Shisui felt the bone snap, the searing pain, and then it was all hot, burning. He did not scream, but his body bucked and he jerked against the restraints. His unbroken leg kicked wildly, and Dragon was cursing.

“You stupid _bitch_ , he’s bleeding out!” Dragon shouted. Shisui’s mouth tasted of blood and he felt light headed. He was going to pass out.

“Hold him still,” Cat said mildly, and Dragon’s weight his Shisui hard, holding Shisui’s hips and thigh immobile.

Dragon hissed. “Do you know what he’ll do to us if we kill _this one_?” 

“He is not going to die,” Cat assured Dragon. Shisui smelled burning flesh. “I know what I’m doing. I’ll stitch him up neat and he’ll never notice the difference.”

“We can’t bind him properly now,” Dragon added.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll do the other when we stop next,” Cat assured him. “We won’t have to worry about his legs after that.” Shisui could feel the blood soaking into his pants. His vision was fading, blurring, smearing, wavering. Shisui realized something. Cat had not broken his leg.

She had cut it off.  
~  
"How many times have you been hurt for something he did anyway? My bets were always on you gave as good as you got whenever you got him alone. He’s always in high collars and long sleeves." Dragon spoke. It sounded like a monologue that had been going on for a while. Maybe they had been talking before Shisui passed out. Shisui's face had congealed to whatever the floor as made of. Blood or vomit or maybe saliva. Shisui's mouth tasted of blood. His entire body hurt. He felt cold and hot all at once, and incredibly nauseous.

Shisui tried to swallow. Dragon lifted a canteen. He had taken his mask off, and his face was thick with scars around the jaw and down his neck. "One answer for one swallow." Shisui closed his eyes, not in protest but in pain. The room kept spinning. The world. He didn't know if he were in a room or not.

A gloved hand touched his face and trickled water into his mouth. Shisui swallowed. It hurt, but when he tried to reach for the canteen, it was taken away. Dragon kept talking as if he didn’t expect any response. "If I didn't need a healer to keep you alive now, I'd kill her. This movement has too many sadists in it."

"What movement," Shisui mumbled. He couldn’t remember ever hurting this much.

"How about an answer for an answer, since you drive a hard bargain," Dragon suggested. Shisui didn't think he had enough of his wits about him to answer anything, much less remember any intel he would be given.

Shisui cracked an eye open. "What answer?"

"You knew when we came for you it wasn't for anything you had done, but you went with us without a fight.” Dragon seemed to have dropped his bad ANBU act. His body language said casually interested and his face bored. Shisui wondered if he had been watching Shisui for a while. Maybe he felt bad now that Shisui was a cripple.

An ANBU had cut off his leg. Shisui hoped she at least got written up, but he suddenly had the feeling he would not be going back to Konoha. Why would they maim him? He felt perilously close to the end of his usefulness.

“How are you not sick of taking all his punishments? Seems like you should have smothered him in his sleep after the first time. What was it, they broke five of your fingers because Itachi wouldn’t let some Chuunin lock him in a cabinet without a fuss?” Dragon trickled more water into Shisui’s mouth. Shisui swallowed.

“Yes.” Shisui managed to roll onto his back. “They made him watch because I--I set a good example. Didn’t fight.” It hurt. His leg--what has been a leg, stepped up the stabbing, throbbing pain, and Shisui might have passed out. Everything went black. His body tingled all over, and he was covered in a new cold sweat.

“I am dying,” Shisui croaked. Dragon was propping his stump up. _Elevation._ Proper medical care. “Did you keep it?”

“No, she torched it.” Dragon lifted Shisui’s head and propped him up before inserting a pill between his lips. “Hold that under your tongue.”

“It would have been a good bargaining chip. If I had to work to get it back, or Itachi did,” Shisui mumbled. He gripped the floor. Or fisted his hands. He didn’t know. The pills was bitter and metal tasting. Blood pill?

“I’m still waiting for your answer.” Dragon touched Shisui’s neck. He almost looked concerned. “I could only ever figure you were fucking him, that’s why you took all that shit for him.”

“Because Uchiha and incest, right?” Shisui croaked. He closed his eyes again. “And he’s hot, and all that. I bet a lot of ANBU wanted to get their hands in his hair and fuck him until he made a noise.”

“Is he noisy?” Dragon asked. He was sitting close now. Shisui could feel his presence. Shisui could taste Itachi’s mouth. He could feel the gentle searching of his fingers. ANBU who watched them day in and day out would likely know there had never been any fucking. All Shisui’s other sexual escapades had been well watched and documented. This would have been too.

In a way, Itachi’s sexuality, his personal history there, was something ANBU and Konoha had not damaged or touched directly. Maybe he had been fetishized by some, but Shisui thought Itachi had avoided major incidents on that front. Of course, his choices for a partner also seemed to default in Shisui. Who else would there be? Maybe there were covert influences and damage from their treatment, but it had not been explicitly exploited like everything else.

“I do it because he was six and someone should stand up for him,” Shisui managed. He turned his head. They were in the hollowed out center of a tree. Probably well hidden. Maybe waiting for help carrying Shisui.

“He didn’t stay six,” Dragon pointed out. “You should have cut your ties years ago and saved yourself the trouble.”

“Can’t cut ties like that. You bleed out.” Shisui realized he was slightly delusional. His thought were liquid. Blood. They were hot and thick and something coated his tongue. 

“I hate him.” 

The words startled Shisui. Did he? Beside him, Dragon displayed no surprise. He trickled more water into Shisui’s mouth. He checked Shisui’s pulse. He flashed light in each of Shisui’s eyes, handling Shisui’s face casually. Shisui was used to being handled like an animal. It didn’t bother him. It only reminded him of his place.

“It must have made you feel better, to have something you could control like him. Some thing you could act out on, and no one would reprimand you for it,” Dragon mused. Shisui wondered if Dragon had read through their files and now wanted to figure them out. Were Itachi and Shisui some exotic puzzle to him?

Shisui’s mouth was tacky still. It felt numb now. “It’s terrifying.” Shisui swallowed the numb taste. “None of it is his fault.”

“But you hate him.”

“No.” Shisui got angry with Itachi. He got fed up. He got hurt. He didn’t think hate was the right word, not directed at Itachi.

“Do you know how much better your life would be if you’d just let them slit his throat?” Dragon mused. “You wouldn’t be out here, for one thing.”

What would Shisui’s life had been, if he hadn’t spent those years in the cell with Itachi? If he hadn’t spent so much time trying to rationalize their treatment to a child? The fact that Shisui could not imagine that could mean many things. Shisui thought it meant that, without Itachi, he would be dead already. “Maybe it would have been better for him.”

“It gives you some power, though. The keeper of the monster. The only thing holding a murderous rampage in check,” Dragon pulled out another pill and toyed with it. “Really, that just made them watch you closer. They were never going to let you out of Konoha again, after your last fuck-up.”

“What?” Shisui had to close his eyes against the spinning. He was trying to gather his body together.

“With all the Dogs dying and your bad behavior, you were getting grounded. No more outside missions. No more anything but keeping house for you.” Dragon chuckled. “Damn ironic. You raised the kid into something from ANBU’s wet dreams and all it gets you in stuck in Konoha as a hostage.”

Shisui breathed through his nose. “You’re lying.”

“I saw the report. You were never going to go outside the border of the village again. That was before your boyfriend flew the coop, so after this...well, you wouldn’t be able to run missions with that leg anyway,” Dragon took the pill. “Maybe her impetuous sadism is all for the best.”

“What do you mean, after this?” Shisui felt like he was missing something. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Dragon shifted again, twisting to watch something over Shisui’s head. Shisui lifted a hand to rub at his face. His fingers were awkward and stiff feeling. Everything felt disconnected.

“I don’t hate him,” Shisui said. Dragon looked at him. Maybe they’d been having conversations Shisui didn’t remember. “I hate myself for not being strong enough to give him what he deserved.” Shisui looked at Dragon, rolling his body towards the man. Dragon scoffed, looking away again.

Shisui had always been fast. It wasn’t just because of a jutsu. It was his body. How he moved. How his mind processed and his body responded. Dragon moved, this sideways twitch, but Shisui had already stabbed the knife down into the man’s thigh. ANBU always carried extra weapons, and Shisui had gotten his fingers in a holster. Shisui ignored the pain, ignored the screaming agony as he banged his stump and lunged at the man.

Blood fountained, and Dragon clutched at his thigh. Shisui stabbed him in the gut and then went for his neck, but the man managed to dodge that, knocking the knife from Shisui’s hand. He grabbed Shisui and flipped them. He slammed Shisui’s head back against the ground, punching Shisui hard in the center of his face. His nose broke with a nasty sound and white light. A knife punched down hard into Shisui’s arm, pinning it to the earth. Shisui went limps, not quite unconscious and unable to move. He heard Dragon swearing. Hissing.

Shisui rolled over and vomited. The nausea had peaked. Shisui smelled burning flesh. He heard Dragon kicking, scrabbling through something, more swearing. Shisui grabbed the hilt of the knife in his arm and, with more effort than it should have taken, yanked it out. Shisui felt it scrape bone as it came free, and he passed out.

Seconds, minutes, hours later Shisui opened his eyes.

Silence. His arm was still bleeding. Shisui managed to roll over.

The body lay a foot away. Dragon’s armor had not saved him. Shisui knew the angles to go in under the armor for that. He had stared at enough ANBU and thought about how he would kill them to see all the weaknesses in the armor. Shisui tried to pull himself forward.

The world spun and dipped and dimmed. He was weak. So weak. Dying? At least he’d finally taken one of them down with him. Slowly, he crawled his way to Dragon’s body and began going through his pockets. Shisui had to lean on the corpse, unable to sit up fully. He found a canister of pills and popped a combination of chakra and blood pills in his mouth. He swallowed them with the rest of the water in the canteen and began looking for bandages.

Shisui lay against the body and discarded scrolls and random weaponry until he found a compact first aid kit to bandage his arm with. He had lost a lot of blood. He didn’t know how well his leg had been healed or treated or what had been done to it. The pain of it was maddening even lying still. How would he walk? Could he managed a clone to carry him? His arm didn’t feel broken, only bleeding. Shisui gripped it hard to stop the bleeding.

Shisui stared at the black bandaging wrapped around his thigh and the abrupt way his leg just...ended. It didn’t feel real. It wasn’t real. 

But if he was going to be homebound after this, why not? Konoha did not need him in working order. Maybe they had liked having him immobile these past few weeks. What threat was he now? Now he was just a liability.

He had just killed an ANBU. Itachi was in the wind. If Shisui lived through this, he would be stuck in Konoha. He would never leave again. He would only be a hostage. He would only be there to hold Itachi in place. If Shisui had any way of letting Itachi know he was dead, he would have ended it here himself. He would have seen it as freeing Itachi from Shisui’s dead weight. Itachi had long outgrown Shisui’s defective, strangling protection.

But he had no way of knowing where Itachi was. Maybe ANBU had him now. Maybe he was coming back for Shisui. Maybe. Maybe. _Trust me._ And Shisui, damn him, did. Kakashi would have to save Sakura. Shisui hadn’t even thought of her in the moment and his stomach bottomed out. How had he forgotten? Kakashi would never let them hurt Sakura.

Shisui twisted around, trying to sit up. His vision dimmed. He was trembling with weakness and sick. Shisui stopped. He leaned forward and touched the bandage at the end of his leg. His fingers came away wet and warm. He was bleeding.

He was bleeding a lot.

He was on the ground, hand were ripping at his throat.

“Shisui? Shisui. _Shisui._ ”

“Wasn’t me,” Shisui lied. Everything had been him. Every event that had led to him lying on the ground, bleeding out, had been his doing. He had made this perfect storm through his submissive inaction. He should never have held Itachi back. He should have told him everything Konoha did was wrong, and that they had never been to blame.

He should have been braver. He wished he had been braver.

“Stay awake. Gods damn it, _stay awake._ ” 

Shisui saw a white mask in the darkness above him and didn’t bother. He sank back and let it all go.


	16. 13. Behindhand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet another "I rewrote it three times and still don't like it" chapter.

While Itachi had doubts on his ability to break into ANBU and then break out, he had no doubts about his ability to break into other places. Getting into Konoha itself undetected wasn’t hard, although the closer he got to his goal the harder it was. Mostly, he trusted in the uniform he’s stolen. 

If ANBU were compromised, he would simply have to take his complaints to a high power. If said higher power decided that Itachi should be tossed off the tower or immediately executed by ANBU, it would come directly from the Hokage himself.

Admittedly, it wasn’t a good idea. Itachi had no reason to think the Hokage wouldn’t just have him taken straight to ANBU. Maybe he should have just gone for Danzo, but once he was down there he might not get out again without killing someone. It would be a different tactic, anyway.

As the ANBU in the room with the Hokage rushed to the door when the commotion began, Itachi slid in the window. He had filched a normal Konoha uniform along the way, and the flak vest felt like a disguise in and of itself. He’d never worn one before. The two ANBU slammed the doors shut them behind them.

Sarutobi looked at Itachi without any surprise, fear, or rancor on his face. He looked older than Itachi had expected. Itachi had never seen him as anything but the face on the stone, as someone like him would ever be allowed near the Hokage. Think of all the things he could _do._ ANBU had always ruled the Dogs. They were not important enough for the Hokage to directly concern himself for. Itachi didn’t even know how much of a hand the man had had in his clan’s destruction.

He had certainly done nothing to save them since.

“I believe half the reports on my desk just became obsolete,” The old man said. Itachi was shocked to be recognized so easily. Maybe it was simply who else would be able to come in the window as he had?

An explosion of crows in the outer room knocked two ANBU and a myriad of black feathers into the room. The room was momentarily filled with a screaming murder of crows, and then just feathers. Itachi stood by the desk and watched the ANBU sort out what limbs they still had and the sensory disruption of the genjutsu. It only took seconds, but seconds were what mattered with ANBU. Itachi could have been behind the Hokage with a knife or back out the window in less time than it took the first to stand up. Soon Itachi was ringed by wary ANBU. The only thing keeping them at bay was the hand the Hokage held up.

“I hardly think that is necessary,” Sarutobi picked his pipe back up. He puffed it. No one else moved.

“He just broke into your office,” One ANBU said, as if this were incriminating. “He has been AWOL.”

“Which is why I’m very happy to see him in my office, and you should be as well. Although…” Sarutobi tapped his pipe out. “We may need to consider the tower’s security before the exams.”

Itachi decided this was enough babble. He had things he needed to accomplish. “I would like to speak with you alone,” Itachi said, eyes on the old man only. “If you are not busy.”

“I think this is a meeting that has been too long delayed,” The old man had a lined face that was hard to read. He didn’t seem displeased, but everything in Itachi’s body resented him. Feared him. This was the ultimate figure of power in Konoha. 

“Hokage-sama…” One ANBU started, motioning to Itachi as if to say _really_? “I cannot assure your safety if you do this.” 

“Kage, I doubt you could assure my safety at this moment either. From what I have been told, if Itachi wanted me dead, I would already be dead,” The man assured them. He glanced at Itachi. Itachi nodded. The Hokage would be dead already if that were Itachi’s goal.

“The Hokage would make a very valuable hostage,” the ANBU pointed out, obviously loathe to leave the room. Itachi could feel the glares on him.

The Hokage smiled. “Then I suggest you watch all the window carefully and make sure he doesn’t stuff me out of one. I have been told Itachi was dead, that he had defected, that he was kidnapped, and then that he was selling Konoha’s secrets on the open market. I think it is time I got some clear, firsthand information on what he has been up to.”

Itachi felt the sneers. Obviously, they all thought Itachi would lie.

The Hokage looked to Itachi now. "Would you drink tea if I offered it?"

Itachi was running on fumes, so he nodded. He’d take it as a gesture of good faith. Or just warm his hands on it. The Hokage looked at the ANBU. "You may bring us some tea, and perhaps something to eat, but please go wait outside the doors until we are done.” Itachi could feel the glares digging into his skin as they left. The doors were closed. The Hokage stood and walked to the back wall of his office, placing a seal that made the entire room hum.

“You can speak now without any fear someone will over hear you,” Sarutobi turned. “Or, you can kill me for revenge, like all my guards are sure you will.”

“If I wanted revenge, I’d start at the bottom floor of ANBU and I wouldn’t announce my presence” Itachi replied softly. “I trust you at least know ANBU is compromised by now?” This seemed like the most important piece of information Itachi had gathered.

"It's something that I have long suspected, but the nature of ANBU makes it difficult to be certain," The Hokage admitted. Itachi would also guess there were the spies they allowed to stay. Sometimes, that would be safer. Sarutobi walked back to it. He sat slowly. He was probably trying to buy himself time to think, or just delaying Itachi to see what else he would spill.

Maybe old people were just that slow? 

“I want Shisui brought here,” Itachi added. “As soon as possible. I know the moment I went missing he was taken into ANBU headquarters. I would appreciate it if you would send someone to get him out and let him know I'm not dead, captured, or defected." Or whatever lies Shisui was being told. _This is the last time_ Itachi promised Shisui. This would be the absolute last time ANBU could hurt him because Itachi.

“Leaving him in the hands of a group you know is compromised is idiotic,” Itachi added. 

"It’s difficult at this stage to know what we are dealing with, but the interrogations have already started with the group in charge of the Dogs.” The old man began. Itachi cut him off during a pause.

"There’s no reason not to dismiss that group entirely, or imprison them until the breadth of the problem is determined. Shisui and I are the only two Dogs left. If either of us needs protection, I’m fully capable of providing it. There’s no reason to risk the last two remaining Dogs at risk by putting us under the power of a compromised group that has actively moved against Konoha."

The Hokage didn't protest. He looked quietly thoughtful. “While I can appreciate the elegant logic of such a simple solution, I can see other individuals having problems with it. I am only the Hokage.” And the Dogs did not fall under his normal purview.

“I believe the Hokage has the power to make such decisions on their own in an emergency,” Itachi demurred. His hands were sweating. His inner Shisui was screaming for him to shut up and behave.

“Is this an emergency?” This was a game where this man had nothing to lose and Itachi wanted to puke.

“If it isn’t, it could be.” Itachi smiled.

The Hokage smiled back. He took another draw from his pipe. It could be possible that more ANBU were coming for Itachi. “I believe we’re starting in the middle. Why don't you tell me exactly what has happened since you left Konoha and then we’ll decide if this is an emergency." Itachi did, for the most part being truthful. He saw no reason to include Kisame or...other events. He detailed everything he did know, the information recovered, his speculations, and all else. He didn’t soften his own thoughts or logic for once.

"I came directly here after securing these clothes from a border post." Itachi plucked at the flak vest. "I didn't trust any other options given what I had learned. "

“As of last week, you and Shisui are the last.” The Hokage motioned to the papers on his desk. “An investigation was opened to track down the culprits, but they hadn’t been able to determine the source. It was suspected there might be an information leak about when missions were taking place, but nothing of this extent. The attacks escalated sharply in the last month.”

Itachi wondered how long the old man had known this information, and how likely it was someone in ANBU had stalled the “investigation.” How important were Dogs, anyway? Or, who was high enough placed to make the investigation low priority? It could be normal ANBU dislike of the Dogs, or it could be more.

“I assume ANBU was investigating ANBU? I am just a Dog and can’t begin to comprehend these complicated plots in full, but it seems if I were capable of infiltrating ANBU, I might also be competent enough to divert, slow, or confound and internal investigation,” Itachi kept his voice low and smooth. Everything inside of him trembled. Terror. Terror was their baseline. Itachi harped on Shisui’s terror, but they were all rabbits waiting for the serpent’s strike.

And the Hokage just kept watching him while he smoked. He seemed to be listening to Itachi. “You suspect the corruption is widespread?”

“I suspect no one is in a hurry to damn someone over the death of something they despise as they despise the Dogs.” Itachi relaxed his hands. He swallowed. His mouth was dry. The old man’s teeth seemed to tighten on the stem of his pipe.

There was a knock on the door. 

"You may come in," The Hokage said. Itachi tensed, but only on ANBU came in with tea and an assortment of food that made it look like a break room had been hastily raided. Itachi waited as the food was set out.

"Has Kakashi sent any news?" Sarutobi asked the ANBU. The ANBU shook his head and poured tea. Sarutobi took a sip from one cup and handed it to Itachi, who took the cup with a little bow. Itachi and the ANBU stared at each other until the ANBU was again dismissed. 

"You didn't ask him to bring Shisui," Itachi observed. He decided getting poisoned here would be fate and silently inhaled a bit of mochi. It might help with his tremors.

"Shisui is not with ANBU," Sarutobi assured Itachi. "He was with Kakashi's gennin team when he was taken, and to keep Naruto insisted something be done. Kakashi has had chosen a few people to make sure Shisui’s safe and his best interests are being considered.”

A silence. Itachi could sense he was being diverted from demanding Shisui be brought to him. He didn’t know if it was a power play or something more serious. Maybe they didn’t want the two of them together until things were clearer.

"The rest of his team came in as well. Shisui has made quite the impression on them. Maito Gai also had some glowing praise for Shisui’s training regimen. Team 7 has made great improvements under his training.”

The distraction worked. Itachi felt a noose tighten around his neck. The Hokage drank some tea and leaned back in his chair.

"Sasuke looks like you."

“Sasuke looks like his father. I look like my mother. They looked like each other in the way the fifth and seventh branches of the Uchiha clan do--did.” Itachi took another sweet and looked at the old man. Did he seem wary now? Did he realize this was not a tame dog to quietly come to heel as told?

“How many Uchiha have you lost?” Itachi asked. “Two old Dogs left, but what about your Uchiha, Hokage-sama?”

“Two. Everyone is restricted to Konoha for the time being. They don’t go far from the village, and all their teams are well trained.” The Hokage seemed less easy with this topic.

“To guard them,” Itachi clarified.

“As your squad was. Every member of your clan leaves the village with shinobi who know what their duty is.”

The only difference between the Dogs and the Uchiha were political propaganda and how they were taught to view their cages. Konoha would always be their prison. Getting all this information made Itachi nervous. Everything was a tangle. Dogs and Uchiha and lies. 

_Your Clan._ The words made Itachi’s stomach twist. The response to the words was visceral, his mouth watering.

“They aren’t my clan.” Itachi held his tea in both hands. “There is only one thing that is mine, and that is Shisui. I remember the past, but I don’t live in it.”

The Hokage leaned back a bit. “You still write Sasuke notes.” His eyes had slid to a different stack of papers. 

“I didn’t know that was an optional duty.” Itachi did not exactly lie, but he was playing close to it. He sought refuge behind the mask of the monster. The untouchable creature everyone looked away from.

"Konoha’s Uchiha have always been your threat and promise to the Dogs. If we behaved, the children might grow up better. If we misbehaved, the children would hunt them down--never mind we all knew by the time any Uchiha were old or skilled enough to do that, most of the Dogs would be dead. The Dogs were just a buffer to make sure you didn’t go without the Uchiha’s strength while you trained your next generation of killers.” Itachi’s voice had warped past the monotone. He checked it back in. At least he had been cold when discussing Sasuke.

“Then you feel no attachment to them, not even your younger brother?” The Hokage picked his pipe up again. Itachi didn’t remember when he had put it down, but it put a thrill through him to hear the man say it. _Your younger brother._

“It is unwise to become attached to something you cannot hold on to.” Itachi used his tea to give himself space to gather his words. “I have no illusions about my own importance or abilities, but I owe Shisui better than what he has been given. I owe it to him to protect him as he protected me when I was unable to stand on my own feet. He has. . .” Itachi withheld this vulnerable bit and changed tactics. “I no longer have a clan or a family, but I have Shisui, and that is enough.” Enough for what Itachi did not articulate. He didn’t think he could. He felt intensely vulnerable and naked and he wanted a mask or his monster indifference. 

The Hokage took his time replying. “You want Shisui removed from ANBU’s protection and put under yours.”

“I want Shisui to stop being punished for my transgressions, real or imagined. For now, it’s simple logic to give us more autonomy. We can’t submit to ANBU now, because ANBU cannot be trusted,” Itachi explained calmly.

“And what do you want after this has been resolved?”

“The same. Shisui has never been anything but loyal, and he deserves to be treated with respect. I will remain a member of ANBU if that is desired, but things will change. We won’t be whipped dogs any longer.” They would always be whipped dogs at their cores, and everyone knew that. “I can be more useful if I’m not constantly fighting ANBU’s stranglehold on our necks. How many other ANBU could accomplish what I did on my own?”

The Hokage looked speculative. “As I said, this is not my decision to make, not after things have been cleared up. You will have to present your case to a special council.” Itachi wondered if this council presided over all Dog matters. Maybe it was just a general council.

“I would be honored to present my humble thoughts to such an esteemed gathering.” The words came out dry, and The Hokage might have looked amused. Itachi set his tea down. “With that cleared up, I would like to see Shisui now.”

“In time. Since you’re here we should draft an agreement for the emergency period,” The Hokage began opening drawers. Itachi’s heart dropped. His stomach twisted. He had been so focused on getting Shisui away from ANBU, he had not stopped to consider things fully. 

“...he’s already gone, isn’t he?” The timeline, the delay, and everything else suddenly came together in Itachi’s mind. The Hokage had been trying to remind Itachi of his other ties to Konoha with his talk of Sasuke, because he had already lost Shisui to the traitors.

Itachi could not remember ever having cried before, but he had the urge to do so now. 

“As I said, he was with Kakashi’s gennin when he was taken. Kakashi was present when the real ANBU squad showed up to take Shisui into custody and offered the service of his nin-dogs. Kakashi is heading the group, and they left only hours after Shisui. You would be little help if you left now.” The old man reasoned calmly. There were ANBU outside making sure no one left. Itachi wanted to laugh. He had been so proud to tell Shisui all he had accomplished.

That was why he had asked if Kakashi had sent news. Itachi hadn’t even wondered. “And if he’s dead, will you simply have me killed now that I’ve said he’s the only thing that matters to me?”

“You said he was the only thing that you had and all you felt able to protect,” Sarutobi corrected Itachi. He offered Itachi more tea. Itachi slowly set his cup down for it. “There are many things about you that don’t come across in a paper report, Itachi.”

“You mean I’m not the mindless killing monster ANBU sells me as?” Itachi took the tea back. “I have to go after him.”

Sarutobi nodded. “But you’ll need rest. Give Kakashi until tomorrow morning. In the meantime, I think you and I can work out an agreeable arrangement to present to the Council concerning you and Shisui.” The old man met Itachi’s gaze firmly. It felt like an iron grip on the back of his neck. Itachi wanted to run, but he could see the logic in staying. He was being offered something he might never get again. He would be boxed in and trapped with more of Konoha’s schemes, but he could try his best to fight back.

Slowly, Itachi sat down in the chair opposite the Hokage. He carefully pressed his emotions down into a compact box. For every second Shisui had been in enemy hands, Itachi would extract some advantage.


	17. 14. Salvage

Anko thought she was canny to the depths of Konoha’s depravity. Sometimes that depravity was practical, yes, but not just and upright like this upcoming generation of gennin were being drilled to think. It got as nasty here as it might out in Mist, no doubts there. Konoha liked to play the "better" village, but if a village played as clean as Konoha pretended, it would not be a village much longer. Anko had her own scars and baggage from a few of Konoha's less savory decisions and people, and while she couldn't compare to Shisui's knowledge, she had a handle on it.

Anko had always liked dangerous things, and Dogs were supposed to be the most dangerous things of all. Maybe she had kind of hoped Shisui would be as wild as it was said. Maybe she wanted to see something dangerous come out of him and tear out a chunk of her. Bullying didn't work, and then hormones had kicked in hard and fast and Anko had switched tactics. She'd get past Shisui's self-effacing nature with another animal tactic. In a way, maybe she’d thought she’d prove herself superior to Shisui if she could make him lash out at her.

The reality of the sad sack was he had turned all his dangerous edges in on himself, slicing himself to pieces in the desperate bid to be ignored at best, acceptable at worst. Anko hadn't gotten the bad boy fuck she'd wanted from the former Uchiha, but she had gotten an enlightening look into Konoha's politics that she probably could have lived without. She’d also gotten a friend.

There were a few people who looked directly askance at Konoha's treatment of the Dogs and many more who were uncomfortable about it. All the general populace of Konoha knew was what Konoha told them, and Konoha told the Uchiha had been responsible for the Kyuubi attack, and that this had been the first part of a coup destined to destroy Konoha. Anko didn't know much about the sentiments at the time, but she remembered the terrifying thrill when the news spread. No one ever officially announced anything. It was all just suddenly known by every gossip: the Uchiha had planned a coup and now they were dead.

She didn't know when exactly she had learned about the Dogs. She'd been concerned with her own life, but it seemed like several months after the Purge before the Dogs were a known thing. It was longer before she met Shisui. Longer still before antagonizing gave way to actions that peeled the protective layers off. Yes, the sex had started because she wanted to have and dominate someone so despised and feared. Giving Shisui even that farce of affection had completely unraveled him and Anko had to reorder what she thought about things quickly when she made a monster cry.

The point of her mental rambling was this: she thought she had a good idea of how Konoha worked at its least palatable levels.

This took everything to another level. She didn't get down on her skills, but suiting up with Hatake Kakashi and ANBU made her leery, even with Genma and Raidou there. Although, Genma and Raidou had been ANBU, and while they didn't make full Jounin, they were old and still alive. It counted for a lot. When Kakashi had explained why he'd pulled her out of endless planning meetings for the upcoming exams, she'd laughed in his face.

Shisui had been kidnapped by ANBU traitors and Kakashi needed Anko to help get him back.

When Anko had questioned the choice reasonably, Kakashi's absent answer would be he needed people who, if Itachi heard their names, would make him think his cousin would be looked after. Basically, Anko surmised, people who could be trusted to actual care that Shisui as a person made it home, and not just Shisui in his capacity to keep Itachi from leveling Konoha. Anko knew she fucking would in Itachi's position if he came back and learned Konoha had fucked up their job.

Anko didn't think Shisui was dead, but she started to have her doubts when half a day out from Konoha they found what Kakashi's nin-dogs said was a pool of blood on a tree limb. Lots of it. All Shisui's. After that Shisui's trail vanished, so they had to switch to chasing after the ANBU that had captured Shisui. This put everyone on edge as they no longer knew if Shisui would be with the ANBU. It seemed logical he would be, but it still made them all doubt.

The tension this caused up and down Anko's spine was such that when Kakashi signaled to be battle ready--he should have drawn them up into a tighter formation but evidently, he was going for speed not caution--she relished the idea more than usual. With any luck this would be the end of the chase. They'd have Shisui back, and this nightmare would end.

She hadn’t expected she would take Shisui’s possible death so personally, but there is was. Her cold, uncaring bitch personality got put on hold for a couple people.

The ANBU all vanished. Anko felt cold, hard dread go up her spine, and then she didn't have time to worry about being double crossed. Out of the tree next to her burst a many legged monstrosity, grabbing at her with clawed appendages. Anko twisted and threw some poisoned senbon. She got a good look at the thing. Suddenly she had a lot more worries for Shisui.

It was a thing. It was someone's murderous creation, and something deep inside Anko recognized this monster's maker in its design. Suddenly, who had taken Shisui and why made much more sense. Why it was ANBU that had taken him became clear. Anko would never trust another masked figure as long as she lived. Anko's mouth tasted of copper, and then Kakashi's chidori blasted through the monster before Anko had even landed from her dodge. The ANBU were back as only black shadows, zipping through the crowds. Anko could almost swear there were only three.

She came down hard on another normal looking shinobi that was trying to stab out Genma's kidneys, landing knees first on their shoulders and snapping their neck as she wrenched them both to the ground. The decapitated head of another hit the ground beside her. Something landed heavy beside Anko, and she would have gutted Kakashi if he hadn't grabbed her hand.

"Follow Shiba and go after Shisui," Kakashi commanded, pointing at one of his many nin-dogs. Anko didn't bother asking why, though she wanted to, and just ran. She'd accepted Kakashi knew way more about what was going on than she wanted to know at this point. The dog was fleet, nose barely touching the ground as they raced along, another burlier dog (Bull?) coming in to flank them. They went break-neck through the forest, crashing down and around the tree trunks until the dog Shiba and seemed to vanish into a tree. Anko almost twisted her ankle twisting to go after it, scraping her body on the slender opening in the tree as she slithered in and almost fell on the ground. 

She smelled the dead man before she saw him. Shiba stood at one body, sitting proudly with a gently wagging tail. The second dog came in more slowly after Anko. It took Anko too long to get out her lantern, popping it on with a surge of chakra to illuminate the bodies. Her hands were trembling. Both bodies wore ANBU uniforms. One was a man she didn't know. His eyes open and staring. The second was Shisui. Eyes shut, face a swollen mess of blood.

Anko pounced on Shisui, grabbing for his throat to feel for a pulse. 

“Shisui? Shisui. _Shisui._ ” Anko didn’t relax when she found a pulse. His eyes opened, but he did not have the look of a coherent man. He looked...he looked like someone dying, and Anko swept her eyes over him. His nose had been bashed in hard, face already swelling up and blood everywhere. Other than that, he had nothing obvious--

"Fucking hell," Anko breathed. "Bloody fucking hell." Where Shisui's leg should be was nothing. Not a thing. It just ended a foot below his hip and blood was pooling all over the floor.

“It wasn’t me,” Shisui mumbled. Or it might have been that. 

Anko pinched his ear. “Stay awake. Gods damn it, _stay awake._ ” 

Shiba growled low in his throat. All he hair on the back of Anko's neck stood on end. She turned her head and she could swear the ANBU was moving to strike her on the back of the head. Anko turned sharply, but the ANBU was just catching their breath and swearing as their mask turned to look at the blood pooling around Shisui.

"Does he have a pulse?" The ANBU demanded as they almost fell down by Shisui's leg--stump. His brand-new stump.

"Barely." Anko checked Shisui's breathing again. His eyes had closed again, and in the dim light she couldn’t be sure she’d actually seen both his eyes and not just imagined it. She made sure he had both his eyes, prying at the swelling lids to confirm nice round peepers still residing in his skull. She pinched his ear hard. No response.

"Artery isn't bleeding yet," The ANBU muttered to themselves. "Damn, that's a bad cut, no extra tissue to pull over...." They muttered to themself. Now they knew where the blood had come from. The traitors had cut off Shisui's leg and carried him. Given Shisui had evidently shanked one, he must have realized he wasn't being held by ANBU.

"Are you trying to say he's dying?" Anko demanded, her hand still feeling Shisui's fluttering pulse.

"Near it," The ANBU grunted. The glowing intensified. The ANBU leaned forward, hand over Shisui's heart for a few moments. "Barely enough blood to do anything. Shocky. Cardiac distress."

Anko whipped around, jumping up as more people tumbled into their cozy hide-away, bringing more light with them. Genma held a large lantern, and started swearing as he saw Shisui on the ground. He joined the ANBU on the ground in seconds, glowing hands already groping for Shisui. 

"Take the upper body first. He's got some damage. See if you can calm his heart down and get him breathing better. His nose is crushed," The ANBU demanded, tone so brisk he sounded scared. Shisui began to shiver. Genma moved his hands up, scanning for injuries as he went.

"He's lost too much damn blood for us to do any good. Anko, what's your blood code?" Genma demanded, whipping out a field transfusion kit." Anko rattled off the numbers. Shisui was sweating and pale. Everything smelled like blood and Shisui was covered in it. He smelled like death. Vomit and piss and blood and rot.

If Shisui did die. If they didn't save him, what would Itachi do?

"Good, you'll do." Genma unsealed a kit and shoved the needle into Shisui, moving to do the same to Anko. "Not much, you need to be able to fight, but he needs blood before we can move him."

"If we move him, he may die," The ANBU medic said, black gloves off and hands bloody as they fought with Shisui's stump. "This is awful. I need to clamp the artery to make sure he doesn't bleed out if the clot goes. It's mostly cauterized, but he bashed some of it loose. Won't take long for him to go, as little blood as he's got left."

Anko didn't flinch as the needle went in her arm and blood began to flow out.

"He hasn't been dead long," Kakashi said. Anko had a surreal moment where she thought Shisui had died in the seconds she'd taken her hand from his neck.

"Good, because going after that guy is probably what got his leg bleeding again, and he really would be dead if we hadn't gotten here," Genma grunted hands on Shisui’s chest and stomach "No, your organs need blood to. Stop trying to go into shock." Anko looked at Kakashi and the other ANBU who had come in.

"We need to get him back to Konoha as soon as possible--to avoid further altercations and for his health," the ANBU captain was saying.

"Given the extent of his injuries, returning him to hospital would be best," Kakashi sounded mild, but he was surrounded by half his pack of giant dogs. Maybe he thought he needed the small furry army. Maybe he just hadn't taken the time to dismiss them.

"ANBU's infirmary is better equipped for trauma," the ANBU captain countered. "And safer."

"Ah, but Team 7 will be most anxious to see Shisui once he's back, and I doubt the halls of ANBU headquarters in the kind of place you'd want Naruto. He can be...disruptive." Kakashi smiled, and Anko wanted to gape. Kakashi was threatening ANBU with his _gennin_. And it seemed to be working. Something else had to be going on.

"You are only here, Kakashi-san, because of your nin-dogs. You have no authority over this situation or this subject. Unlike the last time you interfered with Itachi, Shisui was never under your jurisdiction. You have no claim to greater knowledge of seniority here." The Captain had pitched her voice to a low hiss, but they all heard it.

Kakashi scratched his mask. "I _do_ have authority over Shisui when he is with my team, and as he never formally dismissed my gennin nor did I dismiss him from that duty before he was taken, and since it wasn't actually ANBU who took him, it could technically be said he is still at this time my responsibility," Kakashi mused. The ANBU captain had gone rigid.

"Which would also mean I allowed Shisui to be kidnapped under my watch," Kakashi added as if musing out loud to himself. "A thing I'm sure will come up at my yearly review..."

"Quaint, but no one else will endorse such convoluted logic," The ANBU captain's sarcasm dripped from the words. "I'm removing Shisui from your negligent care, Kakashi-san. Consider yourself off the hook." The captain looked at the scramble of medics, dying Uchiha, and Anko.

"Can we even move him?" She didn't sound so confident now.

"He is dying. If we stay, he will die. If we move him, he has a chance, but we have a narrow window," the ANBU medic explained almost frantically. "Why did they cut off his _leg_? You might as well just slit his throat out here. They could have at least done a proper amputation instead of just hacking it off."

Shisui made a noise and his eyes moved. Anko didn't know if that meant he was awake or not. The green glow of the healing did not help Shisui's pallor. The blood flowing in did not make a noticeable difference in anything.

"We'll attempt it. We'll have to," The captain decided. Her masked face jerked to glare at Kakashi, who was busily scratching a dog's ruff and didn’t make any noise of protest.

"Don't die on us," Anko pinched Shisui's ear again. Genma removed the needle from her arm, and Raidou knelt down beside them. 

"Boar will carry him," The Captain said. Genma and Raidou exchanged a look.

"With all respect, that's a shit idea." Raidou said, perfectly level tone. "If he starts to wake up, and he's getting carried off by another ANBU, he'll freak out. Even if he's too wounded to hurt us, he could hurt himself."

"Right, all these clots are fragile and he doesn't need the adrenaline," Genma added. "If he starts to come to, if it's one of us in a flak vest he sees, he's going to be more relaxed. Also, Raidou and I tapped out of ANBU years ago and Anko’s our blood bank. The best fighters should have their hands free to handle whatever shit goes down." 

"That seems sensible," Kakashi mused absently. Anko felt the tension in the air pick up a few notches before the Captain nodded tersely.

"Just be quick."

After a few more medical mumbles between the medics, Genma helped Raidou hefted Shisui onto his back. Shisui lolled like a dead thing--spineless and limp. Anko quickly jumped to steady his head. Raidou shifted Shisui higher. Anko glanced at Genma.

Genma absently leaned over to heal the stick in her arm. "No idea. It's about fifty-fifty at this point. Okay, maybe seventy-thirty. He's in a bad way. At least we got here before anything got infected." Anko laughed.

"At least." If they were lucky Shisui might live long enough for something to get infected.  
-  
Kakashi, by virtue of having Shisui on his back, handily evading the ANBU, ignoring orders, and artistically vanishing the second they were in Konoha, managed to get Shisui to the hospital. Anko, Genma, and Raidou ended up outside an operating room with four pissed off ANBU, who at least understood none of them had any control over Kakashi. Still it made for an awkward stand-off as they waited to learn if Shisui would actually live. Kakashi was evidently hiding out in the surgery room. They'd stopped once to give Shisui another transfusion, but it had still been touch and go just getting him in the building alive.

The monotony was broken by the most terrifying thing Anko had ever witnessed was Itachi in a normal uniform, striding up the hall with _intent._ Normally he was just observant and sharp, but today he was _coming for something._ Anko was not the only one feeling tense and unnerved. The halls seemed to clear magically as people found somewhere else to be instead of gawking.

Nice to know Itachi was doing well, at least.

It only got worse when Itachi suddenly zeroed in on the gaggle of special Jounin and ANBU. Anko reminded herself forcefully of her last encounter with Itachi, and the nearly gentle manner he'd had there. Like Shisui, he played his role for everyone and he was not the killing monster everyone thought he was. He was still an unnerving little fucker, and now he was all business. He walked straight up to the ANBU captain and handed her a scroll.

"You are relieved of all duties pertaining to the Dogs until further notice." Itachi gave the order in a tone that reeked of absolute authority. Genma and Raidou's eyes seemed to bug out of their heads. As the ANBU unrolled the scroll, Anko saw the Hokage's seal on it. She almost laughed. Itachi had not only made it back to Konoha, but wrested himself and Shisui out of ANBU's control, however temporarily.

"I gave the Hokage my report this morning and he decided this was the best course of action until things become clearer," Itachi went on as if he didn't notice everyone's shock. "Other orders have been sent out to relevant parties, and the makeshift guard detail will be ready in a few hours. Until then, I will look after him." 

The Captain rolled the scroll back up. "You'll forgive me if I stick around until the situation becomes clearer. After all, last I heard you were likely captured, dead, or traitor."

Then the most terrifying thing happened. Itachi's lips curled up into a soft, amused little smile. "Of course, Captain, I would hate to give anyone reason to question your faithfulness or competency in your sole and _express_ duty of keeping Shisui safe. I know how an ANBU’s honor and reputation hinge on their flawless service record." Itachi gave a little bow and his face smoothed out perfectly, but Anko had to struggle not to smile. Holy shit. Forget Shisui, she was in love. She absolutely understood why Shisui was bonkers for this kid.

"I think you're forgetting your place." The Captain said.

"I am always very aware of my place, ANBU-san." Itachi's grey eyes went up to the mask, and Anko swore he could see through it. "If you'll excuse me, I'd like to check on Shisui." As Itachi began to turn, the ANBU snapped.

"You stay where you are." The barking command turned even Anko's blood to ice. Itachi smoothly turned back around, flowing into a forward step. He walked up to the ANBU, standing toe to toe with her.

"Is he dead and that's why you want me to wait outside until reinforcements arrive?" Itachi asked, actually sounding curious. Somehow that seemed worse than indifference.

"He isn't dead. Or he wasn't when we brought him in," Genma said. Itachi stepped away from the ANBU to look at him.

"He's in a bad way--lost a lot of blood, so you're better off waiting out here until the surgery is done. If you go in everyone's going to get nervous and that won't help anyone," Genma went on patiently. Did Itachi's shoulders relax? 

Itachi glanced at Anko of all people. She shrugged. "I gave my liters. Right now all we can do is twiddle our thumbs until the medics give the go or no."

Itachi nodded slowly and seemed to consider this. "I'll wait." Itachi turned to face the ANBU again and stepped back to lean against the wall, almost shoulder to shoulder with Anko. Well, if there had ever been any doubt about the side Anko stood on, there wasn't anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE! Kakashi gets his say in a few chapters, so look forward to that.
> 
> Thank you for the lovely comments. :D You guys make my week. Next chapter is mostly written, and it's emotional/character driven stuff so I should have it up before the weekends over since, really, dragging out Shisui bleeding to death for so long is ridiculous.


	18. 15.  Favorites

Shisui could not feel his arm or his leg.

Despite his panic, Shisui could barely force himself awake. He struggled to lift his sore eyelids--how did those get sore? His face felt swollen and his tongue was thick and fat. His head wobbled and fell to the side. He immediately saw black. Black ink. Pools all over white sheets, the naked nape of a neck, and--

 _Oh._ Itachi was asleep on Shisui’s arm, but it was still there. His fingers poked up on the other side of Itachi’s head. Itachi’s hair was in a ponytail, pooling on the bed beside them. Shisui relaxed. So many nightmares were put to rest. He wanted to stroke Itachi’s head, but he didn’t want to wake him up.

Shisui moved his eyes and stopped. His right leg ended abruptly. It had been bandaged and elevated in a sling, but it just. Stopped. It didn’t exist. Shisui breathed. Hard.

Not a dream. Not a nightmare. ANBU had cut off his leg. Killing one of them didn’t seem to make up for it. He’d just ended up back here in Konoha.

“Welcome back, gorgeous.” Anko’s voice didn’t startle Shisui as much as it should have. He looked at her. She had bags under her eyes, but she gave him her best leer. “It would warm your heart to know how many people flipped out when you got kidnapped.”

“Kidnapped?” Shisui’s lips felt swollen too.

Anko shifted forward, leaning on the bed. “You didn’t figure that out?”

“No?” Kidnapped? By who? ANBU? “What did I no figure out?”

“You were basically in enemy hands for over twenty-four hours,” Anko hissed, probably trying not to wake Itachi. “Didn’t you figure that out when they cut off your leg?”

Shisui just stared at Anko. She grimaced. “Point taken, but it really wasn’t ANBU who had you. Personally, I had no idea who it was, but other people do.”

“So, I didn’t kill an ANBU?”

“You did, but he was a spy, so everyone’s assuming you had figured out you were kidnapped before stabbing him. I wouldn’t let them know you had no idea. Just my personal opinion, but I can’t see them taking kindly to that…” Anko gripped the railing of the bed. The chatter wasn’t like her. Shisui wanted to ask what else was wrong, but she leaned in and kissed him. It wasn’t like any kiss Shisui had ever gotten from Anko before, and she leaned her forehead against his.

“...I almost died, didn’t I?”

Anko nodded, not really comfortable feeling on Shisui’s skull. “You got two field transfusions from me and you were still in shock when we got you to the hospital.”

“Who’s we?” Shisui’s voice rasped horribly. Anko leaned back and sat down on the bed. She grabbed a cup with a straw and offered it to Shisui. Shisui sipped some salty sweet mixture.

“Kakashi pulled me, Raidou, and Genma to help ANBU pull you home. Something about extra security since ANBU was compromised?” Anko shrugged. She didn’t seem to care much. Probably best she didn’t know everything. “Anyway, we had a brief fight with a shinobi coming to pick you up, but you’d already taken care of your guard when we got there--which is the thing that almost killed you, by the way.” 

Shisui took the second offered sip and sat back. The room was dim, which probably meant he was supposed to be resting. “Why are you here?”

“Other than, I don’t know, I’m worried?” Anko almost tweaked Shisui’s nose. “That got broken, by the way, and your face it hideous. It’s all discolored and puffy. I’m surprised Itachi could stand to stare lovingly at you before he passed out.”

“My face is always hideous. You tell me so all the time.” Shisui would ignore the Itachi comment. That would never happen in public.

“You can't believe anything I say in bed,” Anko waved a hand and rolled her eyes. “I’m part of your honor guard. Evidently it’s been decided you and Itachi don’t belong to ANBU until they decide which ANBU want to sell your bodies to foreign powers.”

Shisui’s looked at Itachi’s bowed head. “...how long have I been dying?”

Anko shrugged. “I’m not sure. Not that long. Evidently breaking into the Hokage’s tower gets you noticed in all the right ways around here.” Anko’s look at Itachi was pointed. Shisui’s heart dropped. His stomach did an odd twisting dive. He swallowed. This kid was going to be the death of him.

Itachi’s head shifted. He slowly lifted it, uncurling with an aching slowness that made Shisui’s spine hurt. Itachi had bags under his eyes, and as soon as his lead lifted his hands were tangling in Shisui’s numb one.

“You killed my hand.” Shisui tried to move his fingers, and they curled slightly. Itachi eyes dug into Shisui, running over his face and grabbing his gaze in a physical way. Shisui licked his lips.

“You guys are obscene,” Anko observed, but she was smirking in an entirely different way. Itachi glanced at her, then looked back to Shisui. Shisui could see Itachi preparing to speak, and then falling silent. Shisui wanted to pull Itachi down into him. He had...he hadn’t been _sure_ he would never see Itachi again, but he had wondered. He had worried.

“I’m sorry,” Itachi whispered. His voice was hoarse and cracked. Shisui’s expression softened. He could feel his puffy face kind of...melt.

“Oh, that’s even _worse_.” Anko stood up. “I’m going to get you some food so you two can _eye fuck_ in peace. Just don’t tear any stitches.” Anko gave Shisui a wink that said they should absolutely try to tear some stitches. Itachi watched her go with amused exhaustion.

“I thought she’d be jealous.” Itachi likely picked this because it didn’t matter much, or maybe he was curious.

“Anko’s not like that,” Shisui finally got his fingers to curl properly around Itachi’s. “She said I got kidnapped. What happened to you?” Itachi’s lips thinned, but he slowly unraveled his story. He didn’t show any emotion when he mentioned his team’s death. Itachi gave the details as if it were the driest of reports. He was obviously exhausted and troubled.

Shisui thought he should be angry at Itachi, or put out, or frustrated, or something negative, but he honestly just wanted to give him a hug. He didn’t want to analyze this right now. He just wanted to be happy they were both alive and in the same room.

Okay, _and_ he wanted to touch Itachi, but.

“So, I stayed with the Hokage because I was exhausted and Kakashi had a day’s lead and…” Itachi shrugged. “We talked.”

“You just chatted up the Hokage over tea while I was…” Shisui tried to figure time.

“Probably while they were dragging you back,” Itachi offered. “I’m sorry. Shisui I--”

“Hush.” Shisui’s tone was one he used for a much smaller panicked Itachi. “You did the right thing. Anko and the rest got me back here safe. Tell me what you talked about.”

Itachi looked uncomfortable. “I got him to agree to take us away from ANBU for a while. Evidently only the whole Council can change that permanently, but for now…”

“Itachi, did you threaten the Hokage?” Shisui tried to contain his rising horror.

“...not explicitly. I just said things were going to change, and not changing them would be stupid. He agreed with my logic. We drank tea and ate sweets and had a wonderful time.” Itachi looked like the memory made him want to vomit.

“And was probably trying to pacify you while I was in the wind and you were in danger of destroying Konoha in your bereft rage.” Shisui was probably a little high right now. 

“I got it in writing so I don’t really care right now.” Itachi still looked chagrined. “For now, I’m still a member of ANBU, but we’re both homebound until things clear up.”

“....so, you’re staying in ANBU and I’m…”

“Like every other Jounin.” Itachi nodded. “Right now, we’ve got a... dual security team to keep everyone honest while you heal and security is tightened in ANBU. I’m going to be allowed to make a case for the Council to make the arrangement permanent, which might involve you staying in Konoha permanently, but I….” Itachi had started staring at Shisui’s hand as he spoke, and glancing at Shisui’s missing leg. Shisui swallowed. He didn’t think this would all work out. They had been given something in the wake of disaster, but once the dust settled, it would be taken away again.

“Itachi, I won’t be ready to run missions for...I don’t know. A long time. Don’t bother with that, okay?”

Itachi’s lips thinned. He kept staring.

“Hey.” Shisui tugged on Itachi’s hand. “I know you’re new at this, but when your boyfriend has a harrowing experience and comes back badly injured and barely alive, you’re supposed to shower him with love and affection. Of the physical kind. And gifts. Gifts would also be appreciated.”

Itachi almost smiled, but he looked at Shisui’s stump, jauntily thrust in the air where no one could forget it. “In those situations, it’s not likely that your responsible for the maiming and near death, is it?”

Shisui tightened his grip on Itachi’s hand until Itachi looked at him. “I chose you. Years ago. Days ago. I have chosen you every gods damned day of my life, Itachi. This all happened because I am just as much a Dog as you are, and we can’t change any of what has happened to us only what _will_ happen. Now stop whining and kiss me.”

Itachi’s lips almost twitched, but he stopped. “Your face is…”

“Hideously swollen? Tough shit. Anko managed it without bashing my nose in _or_ gagging. I have faith in you.” Maybe Shisui didn’t, because Itachi had years less experience. He was willing to take the chance.

Itachi raised his eyebrows. “Anko?”

“Not all kisses are created equal.”

Itachi rose a little and paused, He tucked his bangs behind his ear and slowly, gingerly, leaned forward and kissed Shisui. Shisui reached up with his free hand and pulled Itachi down a bit harder. Itachi braced himself on the bed with one hand and drew back a fraction before letting Shisui pull him down again. Itachi still gave restrained kisses with a closed mouth and tense face. Shisui loved them.

Shisui finally let Itachi pull back. “I love you.”

Itachi blinked, glancing away and flushing. Shisui grinned, giggling. “You already knew that.” 

“It’s different…” Itachi glanced away again and sat down, fussing with the sheets.

“When I got my leg chopped off and kidnapped and you think it’s all because of you?” Shisui reached up to tug on Itachi’s ponytail. It needed to be brushed.

“I don’t know why you don’t hate me,” Itachi admitted. “You could probably be with Anko now…”

“Only if you tag along.” Shisui had to fight down his laughter as Itachi’s ears went pink.

“I’m serious.”

“You’re self-pitying. You gave yourself a panic attack so I’d kiss you, and now you’re stuck with me. You have to deal with that.” Shisui slowly shifted himself up and over. It hurt. It hurt a lot more than he expected moving to, and that was with Itachi surging up to steady his leg.

Shisui slowly eased himself back down, breathing hard and ignoring the cold sweat on his body. He was disturbingly weak. Shisui closed his eyes and patted the sliver of space in the bed next to him. Itachi slowly sat down, hip to hip. He stared at the empty space where Shisui’s leg should be.

“I know losing your team hurt,” Shisui said. _I know you hate and blame yourself for it_ would be more accurate. “I’m proud of you. I’m terrified for where we’re going to end up, but…” Shisui shifted his remaining leg over Itachi’s.

Talking had exhausting Shisui again.

“I would feel better if you’d kiss me again. All the pain would go away.” 

This time Itachi kissed Shisui’s cheek without any prompting. He let his head rest against Shisui’s for a moment, just breathing slowly. Shisui touched the back of his neck, feeling the thin skin over vertebrae, skimmed fingers to Itachi’s hairline, feeling the gentle push of Itachi’s body into his own.

If it weren’t for how much he hurt, Shisui would think he likely had died. It seemed like the kind of good dream he would have--sort of fleeting. Painful but sweet. Maybe he was in a coma and would come screaming out of it to some new hell any second.  
~  
Hell began when Team 7 decided they had to visit Shisui.

Shisui was already cranky, being in pain and all his attempts to sleep ended in dreams about more body parts being carved out. Itachi and Anko were gone, and Shisui had been stewing in growing anxiety when Naruto burst in through the door.

“Shisui-sensei!”

Shisui jumped, badly jarring his leg, and then clutched at it, cursing angrily. Naruto didn’t seem to notice.

“What happened to your leg!” The blond headed ball of energy hit the side of Shisui’s bed.

“What the fuck do you think happened?” Shisui snapped. Naruto didn’t have the good sense to know he’d almost gotten his nose broken when he’d bounced up so close to Shisui. 

“I thought you were supposed to be a _good_ shinobi, but you suck at it,” Naruto kept on. “You didn’t even dodge.”

Shisui remembered clearly the sensation of the attack coming down on him, and he was too raw about everything to moderate himself. “Ask Kakashi-sensei to explain that one to you.” Shisui pushed Naruto back, which didn’t really work.

“Your face is all green and yellow,” Naruto reported, leaning closer. 

“Yeah I got it busted up.”

“Your nose is straight now,” Sakura said from the foot of the bed. She was purposefully trying not to look at Shisui’s leg. The stump. The not leg. That gaping hole in the universe where Shisui’s leg had previously resided in all its sexy glory.

Shisui slowly leaned back, breathing out and trying to relax. He still got dizzy. He couldn’t have any more transfusions, so he was just suffering. “That so?” Itachi had not mentioned that. Maybe the swelling had been too much. Naruto thrust his face closer to Shisui’s, as if trying to see what was going on with it.

Shisui gave up and ignored him.

Sakura nodded. Sasuke had stopped near the door, avoiding Shisui as if he stank. That was possible, all things considered. Shisui should have ask Itachi to give him something that smelled like the apartment or Itachi himself. It took Shisui several moments to realize Naruto had gone silent. Shisui looked at him. The poor kid had wilted. It was sort of touching to realize how worried they had been about him.

Shisui managed a smile. “Naruto, thanks.”

Naruto blinked. “For what.”

“For going to the Hokage for me.” The words were hard to say. “If you hadn’t, I’m sure I wouldn’t be here.” So, Shisui was exaggerating, but he thought the blonde menace had softened the old rock face up for Itachi’s demands. 

Naruto came anxiously to attention. “Really? But Kakashi-sensei went to rescue you and Sakura and Sasuke went to find him,” Naruto admitted, bowing his head a little.

“True, but, Kakashi couldn’t have gotten all the resources he needed without the Hokage giving the go ahead. You can’t just abduct other shinobi for special missions like that without approval,” Shisui tapped his nose, and Naruto seemed to swell with cheer. Shisui might regret this later.

“It was absolutely the best team work I have seen from you guys. You all played to your strengths, and you acted quickly and decisively. Mission accomplished, no casualties sustained, top marks for everyone,” Shisui declared benevolently.

Naruto wilted again. “Except your leg. How are you going to teach us with one leg?”

“Did you sleep through the last few months where I taught you much better than any other Jounin sensei out there with only one working leg?” Shisui demanded.

“But you still had a leg! You leaned on it all the time!” Naruto waved his hands.

“Naruto, they make prosthetic legs,” Sakura hissed.

“You’re getting a fake leg? What’s it going to look like? You have to make it cool,” Naruto gripped the rail of Shisui’s bed.

“It,” Shisui said firmly. “Will look like a bed, and who said anything about me teaching you anything? Am I _still_ your teacher? What kind of fresh hell is this?”

“You like us! You just said we were good students,” Naruto insisted. “And you owe us. We saved your boyfriend!”

“He is not--” Shisui stopped, mostly because he was dizzy and had to leaned back against the pillows. He closed his eyes and decided yelling at Naruto with so little blood in his body was not a good idea.

“Shisui-sensei?” Sakura whispered it. “Are you all right?”

He was not. “Yes.” Shisui opened his eyes. “Yeah, don’t worry. I just got light headed.”

“Is it because I mentioned you boyfriend?” Naruto asked critically. Sakura had snuck around to the other side of his bed. Shisui leaned his head and started to reach for the cup there, and Sakura handed it to him quickly. Luckily, Shisui could drink on his own.

“No. It’s because I almost bled out several times and there’s literally not enough blood in my body right now to get yell at you properly without getting tired. So that means no teaching for now,” Shisui handed the cup back to Sakura. Sasuke was now at the foot of his bed.

“You said we would practice for the paper portion of the exams. That shouldn’t be too much work for you,” Sasuke said.

“Did you not just see me almost pass out from yelling at Naruto? I know exactly how much yelling I will need to do to get you and Naruto to study quietly without bitching at each other every five minutes,” Shisui groused. Sasuke and Sakura both looked like they were holding back grins. Shisui sent them all his best grumpy glare.

They are all staring at him as if this were a foregone conclusion. Maybe it was. 

“We saved you and we saved your boyfriend. You definitely owe us,” Naruto sniffed.

“Naruto,” Sakura chastised him and glanced at Shisui. Shisui sighed. He found himself looking directly at Sasuke, whose gaze had something abnormally piercing in it. Shisui had forgotten to worry about how Sasuke as his student fit into all of this in the wake of Itachi’s recent dramatics. 

“Fine, but if you don’t all pass the Chuunin exams first time…” Shisui let the threat dangle. Tall order, given they were first year gennin. Sasuke smirked, and Shisui’s heart turned over in his chest. What would Itachi be like if he had been a little younger? If he had been an Uchiha, not a Dog?

“Let’s just say I’ve got time to think of some suitable punishments, and you won’t like any of them.” Shisui settled back on the bed. “First thing: go get me something to eat that’s not hospital food. You have to sneak it in past the guards.” Sakura’s forehead instantly furrowed, and Naruto’s energy shot up again.

“Easy!” Naruto declared, and Shisui just smirked and closed his eyes. As the boys moved to the door, Shisui felt something brush his arm. He opened his eyes and say Sakura had placed a small, slim box on the bed beside him. The packaging was from the expensive sweet shop he’d sent her to before. She made a hushing gesture and winked before she hurried after the boys.


	19. 16. Gameness

Itachi had not counted on how uncomfortable this would all make him. His life seemed to have exploded into a sudden social scene. The new guard detail spoke to him and attempted to carry on conversations with him, depending on who it was. He had to coordinate schedules with these guards, and he had already had several discussions with the medical team for Shisui, and then there were the meetings with the Hokage and other officials. The worst thing was the reports/interrogations about what had happened to him and Shisui over and over and over. For now, it was mostly interrogations and endlessly repeating what he had already said.

Itachi wanted to go home and curl up under the covers with Shisui. He felt he had been on the edge of a panic attack half the day. Having Genma shadow him made Itachi remember when Genma and Raidou had been his constant shadows as a child, and he kept having moments where he knew when he was, but he felt he were years back in time. He felt like he was just a scared child. Powerless, helpless, watching ANBU break Shisui’s fingers over some infraction of Itachi’s.

He no longer remembered what he had done to get Shisui’s fingers broken, but the sound of Shisui’s fingers breaking and the knowledge that it had been _his fault_ had never faded.

“I’m starving. Think you can protect yourself while we eat?” Anko asked. She evidently had gotten pulled from planning the Chuunin exams, and seemed pleased with it. Itachi would rather she was with Shisui, but Kakashi was watching Shisui right now. He probably had Team 7 there, which would be good for Shisui.

“We can eat at the hospital.”

“We could eat real food,” Anko pointed at a small stall. “Right now, real and hot food that doesn’t have that weird metallic medicine taste.” Itachi felt his body reach another level of tense. Anko slapped Itachi between the shoulder blade, and the look he shot her made he step away and grin. Of everyone, Anko was the freest with speaking and touching Itachi.

“There’s tables outside we can sit at. I’ll even order you whatever I want,” Anko offered. Itachi thought she was trying to be nice. He didn’t like the feeling. He felt like her trying to be nice meant she knew too much about him. She knew too many ways to hurt him. How many things had Shisui let slip and how many things had she noticed on her own?

“That look is the reason everyone is frightened of you.” Anko’s finger almost touched his nose. Itachi blinked away the blank stare, or tried to. Anko shook her head walked towards the stall. Itachi angled to the side, trying to school his expression before finally pulling up the face mask. Itachi chose the most secluded looking table and sat there. He focused on breathing and tried not to think about how exposed he was or Anko or Shisui or anything.

Anko carried over two steaming bowls and delivered Itachi’s to him with a flourish. “See. Much better than hospital food.” Itachi took the chopsticks and looked at Anko. She smiled. Genma and Raidou were at ease with Itachi, but Anko treated him like another Chuunin.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” 

“That depends, is it working?” Anko leaned in. Itachi had just started to pull the face mask down and something in his expression made Anko lean back and laugh. Itachi tried not to feel disgruntled as he snapped his chopsticks apart. Being around people so much without an ANBU mask made staying totally stone faced harder.

“I hope you’re this charming around Shisui,” Anko still looked amused, and not really mocking. Itachi didn’t think he could even begin to articulate how he was “around” Shisui, and he did not want to. Not even to Anko. Those moments and that self belonged to him and Shisui alone.

“You’ll have to ask him.” Shisui would likely just say that Itachi was a complete brat and leave it at that.

“If you ever need any advice on how to handle him, let me know.”

This still seemed overly friendly. Maybe Anko had always been friendly and Itachi had just never been around. Maybe knowing he was...involved with Shisui somehow made it easier for her to talk to him? “I know how to handle Shisui. We’ve lived together for years,” Itachi added as he poked through the bits of food floating in the broth.

“I meant,” Anko said with certain gravity. “In the bedroom. Or kitchen. Or wherever the two of you are going to get it on.” Practically, Itachi didn’t have actual experience in this area, but it also seemed like an intensely personal topic to take _advice_ on. Even from a former lover of Shisui’s.

“I think we can figure it out between ourselves.” Anko kept grinning and Itachi let her.

“Now if anyone asks you can tell them I kept asking about your sex life,” Anko leaned back in her chair. Itachi glanced at her before looking back at his food. “You know who is trying to get you and Shisui?”

“At least one of the players,” Itachi admitted. He watched Anko’s make a discrete snaky gesture and nodded. “How do you know?”

“Recognized his handiwork,” Anko grimaced. “Also, he might still have people on Konoha loyal to him. It makes it very ironic I’m part of your honor guard.”

“Honor guard?”

“I’m not saying I’m going to run away, but if you can’t take someone on, I don’t think I have much chance.” Anko leaned forward and took a slice of something mushroom like from Itachi’s bowl. Itachi decided he would pretend to humor Anko. She didn’t act out of disrespect. He’d seen her ribbing Izumo and Kotetsu. He thought her picking was meant to be welcoming rather than disdainful.

Itachi nodded. “You’re mostly with me to keep ANBU semi-honest, and no one likes the idea of me wandering around with Shisui unable to police me.” Itachi felt a constant pressing need to be near Shisui, knowing that he was unable to defend himself now. Anything could happen. He’d already had his _leg_ cut off. That seemed impossible enough.

“Do you think you can convince them to let you and Shisui be…” Anko paused, as if looking for a word. “...normal?”

“If they do, it’s going to be because they can use it against us,” Itachi admitted. Anything that was decided would be used against them, but that had always been the case. “I fully intend to leverage our inability to question ANBU is the only reason Shisui ended up in enemy hands and is now an amputee.” It brought back the old phrase “bite down” to Itachi’s mind. He had bitten down, and now he had the prize between his teeth. He would not let go.

“I’ll put my money on you, and not just because I’m interested in a threesome.” Anko winked. “Later, when things start getting boring and you want to spice things up.”

“The odds are long with a poor return,” Itachi admitted. “We’ll likely both be dead before that happens. Have you heard any rumors?”

“The better question is what rumors have I started? I very poetically described your crying over Shisui’s lifeless body after surgery,” Anko kept grinning. Itachi wondered if she was talking just to throw people off or if she was enjoying herself. Maybe she wanted to get a rise out of him. Itachi just raised an eyebrow. 

“Your right, no one would believe it, but I got away with soulfully staring into Shisui’s eyes. Tender moments. Shisui’s already likable, and Naruto never shuts up about him. Playing up the tragedy a bit can only help in the long run,” Anko smiled. “Public opinion doesn’t change everything, but it can make a difference.”

“Did you decide to do this on your own?” Itachi had, unwisely, assumed Shisui’s association with Anko was simply because she didn’t care he was a Dog, and on some levels disagreed with the way he was treated. And that he found her attractive, obviously, but perhaps there was more to it. The saying cunning as a snake came to mind.

“There were some...mild suggestions made about how we shouldn’t talk about what happened and what to say if it were brought up when we got back. I’ve been dishing out Shisui centric rumors for years, so those who are interested know where to find me.” Anko’s lazy, self-satisfied grin almost made Itachi smirk. Konoha had its official ploys and plots, but this village was full of highly trained spies and saboteurs, all capable of having their own agendas.

“I really don’t like that look you’re giving me.” Anko said after a long minute of silence. Itachi blinked, and then smiled. Just a little.

“That’s even worse.” Anko leaned back. “You and Shisui need to work on that. You’ve spent way too much time behind a mask.” Itachi had spent so long not showing anything on his face he honestly didn’t know what his face looked like when he wasn’t impassive. Shisui had never made any comments, but Shisui was used to Itachi and his subtleties. Maybe Itachi needed to practice his expressions in a mirror.

Itachi tensed, eyes narrowing and moving, canting his head just a fraction. Anko reacted a second after, standing and drawing weapons as the ANBU walked up to them. Itachi stayed seated and shifted to regard the approaching man. He moved slow and easy, but ANBU always had some hidden intent in his body language. He was coming for Itachi.

“That’s close enough,” Itachi said. The ANBU took one more step. Itachi activated the Sharingan but didn’t move. He didn’t want to answer the question of what would happen if he attacked an ANBU right now.

The ANBU stopped. “You’re wanted for questioning.”

“Is that all?” Itachi asked.

The ANBU didn’t say anything.

“You can go,” Itachi added.

“You are wanted for questioning _now_.” The ANBU went on. Itachi felt the press of command on him. The subtle panic kicking up in Itachi’s chest. Defy a direct order? That meant risking Shisui. Risking everything. Itachi wondered if he had ever been assigned to follow a dog before. Did he resent not being able to threaten Itachi? Did he miss that trauma driven snap to attention?

“I’ll be there before you are,” Itachi promised softly. He shifted his focus back to the food. He almost wished the ANBU would make a move for him. It might be a relief to have the worst happen here and have an enemy to strike at. Instead, the ANBU vanished, jumping back to the cover of the trees.

“Am I also supposed to magically be faster than ANBU?” Anko asked, slowly relaxing. She kept her weapons out.

“You can go check on Shisui. Genma and Raidou were supposed to take over this afternoon,” Itachi stood up regretfully. “And you can take Shisui some food so he’ll stop complaining.”

Anko snorted. “Of all the things he has to bitch about, he picks the food.” Itachi felt his lips almost curve into a smile as he glanced at Anko. He felt the moment of understanding, that the food was the only safe thing Shisui could complain about, pass between them. It left him feeling exposed.

“I’ll pay next time,” Itachi offered, and then vanished up into the trees before Anko could say anything.  
~  
The point of making Itachi repeat what had happened to him endlessly was to punish him when he inevitably misspoke. The Hokage might have given Itachi and Shisui a reprieve with the emergency order, but that wouldn’t last long. These endless meetings were meant to remind Itachi he hadn’t really escaped anything. The real fight lay ahead and ANBU would not release him so easily.

“Fucking _hell_.” Genma jumped as Itachi dropped out of the ceiling beside him. 

“I told you,” Raidou eyed Itachi.

“You made some vague comment about squirrels,” Genma shot back, glaring at Raidou and then Itachi. “Where’s Anko?”

“I had to show up ANBU, so she went to check on Shisui.” Itachi straightened the still awkward flak vest. He didn’t like it, but he continued to wear it symbolically. 

“ _Teenagers_.” Genma grumbled. A door opened and an ANBU walked in. Itachi tried to look like he’d been in the room for minutes instead of seconds. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t see the ANBU’s expression. He knew it got under the ANBU’s skin. The ANBU walked to the door and knocked before stepping inside.

Technically, these proceedings were part of the “investigation” into ANBU, and would not have any bearing on later decisions about Itachi and Shisui. In reality, everything was interconnected. Everything mattered. 

If nothing else, Konoha had taught Itachi how to be perfectly ruthless to achieve his goals. He would turn every lesson in cunning cruelty to his advantage before he let them touch Shisui again.

The ANBU opened the door again. “They are ready for you.” Itachi slid off the wall and stepped forward. He didn’t allow himself to tense as he walked into the room. Faceless masks turned on him. They sat in an anonymous semi-circle around a chair set out just for him. The room had been cleared and made to look as much like an ANBU holding cell as possible. 

“Itachi-san.” The white masked horror from Itachi’s childhood stood in the middle of the semicircle of people. She extended a white gloved hand, the palm black with blood stains. The honorific sounded mocking. Itachi wanted to peel his lips back from his teeth in a snarl. “Please sit.”

Itachi did do calmly, meeting the blank face where it should have eyes.

“Now, why don’t you tell us what happened when you left Konoha,” The woman suggested. Itachi met her not-gaze firmly and began to recount, meticulously and perfectly the same as every time before down to the pauses between his words, what had happened on his last mission with Natsu.

He left out Kisame. He left out the other Uchiha. He forcibly scrubbed those memories from his retelling. He needed them to think he was more frightening than he was. He needed them to be afraid of him. They’d grown so used to him being on their tether, and now he’d managed to slip it.

“Very well, but there are some inconsistencies,” The white masked woman said.

“No, there are not.” Itachi had gone through this before. They read back altered statements, sometimes just a word different. Itachi pedantically corrected them. They wanted to wear him down, even if it was only with this petty nonsense.

“Let’s go back to the day before. The incident with your panic attack,” The woman said. This wasn’t new either. “Why did you go into the hall when you knew there were children there?”

“I was distracted, and it did not occur to me I would have such a strong reaction to a group of school children until the reaction started,” Itachi explained calmly.

“Why were you distracted?” The faceless woman asked. Itachi often wondered what he would find if he pried the mask off of her face.

“Shisui and I had had a fight.”

“What did you fight about?”

Being in love. Being animals in a trap. What constituted a life. What was worth dying for. Itachi wanting to touch Shisui. “I think it was because I rearranged the kitchen again,” Itachi tried to look thoughtful. “A last straw situation, as Shisui had already had a stressful day.”

“And that distracted you?” The faceless woman had walked closer.

“We don’t often fight. I was trying to think of a good way to apologize.” Itachi would let them make what they would out of that statement. 

“Is this your apology to him?” The faceless woman asked in a slow, calm way. “Has Shisui put you up to this?”

“No. It is ANBU’s incompetence that has put me up to this. Unless killing off all your Dogs was part of some plan. If so, I apologize for interfering with it.” Itachi said it all with sweet kindness. “I am only trying to keep the Sharingan out of enemy hands.” Silence followed that. Itachi could hear the soft implication that the Sharingan being in his hands might be enemy hands. Itachi felt a little smug.

Another hollow knock sounded.

“That’s all for the day, Itachi-san.” The faceless woman waved her hand as if that would physically lift Itachi from his seat. “We can discuss this more in depth later, and we still need to finalize a report of your days around the event.” Itachi wondered how far back they would make him go. How far back could he go perfectly?

“Of course.” Itachi kept his tone polite as he stood and bowed.

“Bring him in,” The white masked woman had already moved on. Itachi dismissed as dealt with. The doors opened as Itachi turned, and Shisui was wheeled in. He looked deathly pale still, and strangely small in the chair. The swelling and discoloration had faded from his face, but it still made him look like a victim. Shisui’s hands were knotted together. His one pants leg had been neatly tucked up under the stump, and the image disconcerted Itachi. It pulled any triumph of steadiness from him and he stopped.

For a moment, Itachi began mapping how he would kill everyone in the room and get Shisui out, and then Shisui gave Itachi a tight little smile. _Bite down._ Don’t throw it all away for one more slight.

“I got discharged.” Shisui didn’t even try for his false levity. “Surprise.” Itachi glanced at Kakashi, who was pushing Shisui’s chair, likely because he didn’t want Shisui going in alone. Kakashi met Itachi’s gaze but didn’t give anything away. Itachi would have to dig into Kakashi’s motivations later.

“We haven’t had a chance to speak thoroughly with Shisui about his experience,” The white-faced horror explained pleasantly.

Itachi looked at Shisui. He did not want to leave Shisui in this room with these people. Not even with Kakashi at his back. Itachi felt his exterior crack. Shisui held Itachi’s eyes and smiled a little. Just a hint of a real smile softening his expression at the corners.

“I’ll see you back at the house. You have no idea how badly I want a bath.” Shisui sounded a little too desperate. He would make it through this. He had made it through worse.

“I’ll wait outside,” Itachi promised. Shisui’s smile only tensed, his eyes shifting to the semi-circle waiting for him.

In some ways, they were never going to be free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I've been sick and haven't found time for writing.


	20. 17. Face Off

Team 7 had gone home for the day when the ANBU showed up. Shisui had been dozing while Kakashi read from one of his orange books. Normally, Shisui would never sleep around someone else, but he still vacillated between exhausted and wired and now tried to sleep as much as possible in all situations. He didn’t sleep deeply. He didn’t think he would manage that any time soon, even if he slept alone.

Kakashi stood, waking Shisui. Shisui started to sit up before Kakashi motioned him down. Shisui sat up anyway, and he had a knife in hand when Kakashi opened the door for Kotetsu.

“ANBU says they need Shisui for questioning,” Kotetsu said nervously. The poor Chuunin were not adjusting to their new role as well as some people. Anko enjoyed defying ANBU, but Kotetsu and Izumo got a look in their eyes that said they knew this would never end well for them. However, they stayed.

Kakashi stepped back. “Of course.” Shisui could see the two stiff back ANBU standing there.

“His presence is needed at the Hokage’s tower. A full report has been delayed due to his health, but the medics have assured us he can removed from their custody now,” One ANBU reported. Shisui recognized her voice. He recognized her mask. She was often watching him these past few years.

“Ah, Captain-san, have you already passed from scrutiny? ANBU is certainly working quickly through their ranks,” Kakashi smiled, or his eyes did. Shisui knew better than to fight this. He’d given a cursory report on what had happened, descriptions of people, and all of that, but the big interrogation had been lurking over him. He wanted to get this over with. He knew he could not avoid it.

“We take a breach of security very seriously,” The ANBU replied in a low, cold tone. “In case you’ve forgotten, I enabled the rescue mission, Hatake.”

“Is that how it went?” Kakashi sounded vague but surprised. “My memory isn’t what it used to be…”

“Do I get pants?” Shisui called. He had made it to the edge of his bed with minimal vertigo. As much as he enjoyed someone else getting the brunt of Kakashi’s act, he’d rather not drag this out. “And a snack? Kind of been a while since I ate.” And the catheter? Did he get to take that out? Did he really get to go _home_ now? After the hell coming, anyway. He still had an IV for fluids in his arm. He still felt weak.

“I think we should wait for a medic,” Kakashi rubbed his chin and looked at Shisui. He glanced back at the ANBU. “Perhaps, you could fetch one? Kotetsu is about to be off duty, and I can’t leave Shisui-san alone.” For a moment, Shisui wondered if he would see a fight, and then the two ANBU seemed to reach an accord between themselves before marching off. Maybe they were just as fed up with Kakashi as Shisui.

“I get a ‘san’ now?” Shisui leaned back on his hands.

“I try to keep a professional distance from those I’m guarding,” Kakashi explained mildly. Shisui wouldn’t call the pause a hesitation, but there was a pause of some kind. “Are you well enough for an interrogation?” They both knew how this “report” would go.

“Trust me; ANBU’s had me at their mercy in worse shape.” Shisui tucked his remaining leg up onto the bed. “I’ve been waiting for this to happen. It may surprise you to know Itachi and I haven’t just been muttering sweet nothings to each other.” Shisui couldn’t believe the sentence had come out of his mouth. Of course local rumor said Itachi and Shisui had been fucking for years, but this was an open acknowledgement of some positive intimate relationship not a carnal power play for ANBU’s benefit.

If it was positive.

“Just make sure you can get me out of the room. I’m not going to win any races.” Shisui patted his thigh. Kakashi had raised his eyebrows but didn’t comment further on whether or not he thought Shisui was about to die or screw everything up. By the time a medic was found, Anko was back from following Itachi around. She had, because she loved him deep down in her shriveled black ninja heart, brought him food from an outside source.

“Itachi’s in for another interrogation,” She reported.

“Coincidentally, that’s where I’m going.” Shisui smiled and opened the box. The medic had taken a few tubes out, but Shisui needed a check over before they would release him. And he had to be in a wheelchair. His hands were shaking, but he blamed it on not eating.

“No fucking way,” Anko snapped, looking at Kakashi.

“Avoiding the report would just slow things down,” Kakashi pointed out, as if he had not been opposed to the idea before. “And it’s all technically part of the investigation, so we can’t obstruct it.”

Anko said something dark under her breath. She looked at Shisui. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

Shisui smiled. “I can’t let Itachi do all the heavy lifting.”  
~  
Shisui had lost all confidence by the time they were outside the doors of the meeting room. Genma and Raidou were inside with Itachi, and when the doors opened to admit Kakashi and Shisui, Shisui’s heart dropped. The look that ghosted around the corners of Itachi’s face did not bode well.

This had just been another tactic to bring Itachi closer to a break. More pressure on his cracked psyche. Once again, they were being used to crush each other.

“I got discharged.” Shisui didn’t even try for his false levity. “Surprise.” Shisui wanted to wave his hands in mock excitement. He couldn’t yet. The corners of Itachi’s eyes spoke of a need to murder those who had brought Shisui here. Shisui kept Itachi’s eyes, or tried to as they flitted from Kakashi and back around the room.

 _Look at me. Only look at me._ Shisui demanded mentally. Itachi ignored him.

“We haven’t had a chance to speak thoroughly with Shisui about his experience,” The white-faced horror explained pleasantly. Shisui knew exactly how they were going to talk about his “experience.” Shisui finally caught and held Itachi’s gaze.

“I’ll see you back at the house. You have no idea how badly I want a bath.” Shisui let real emotion leak in. He was not okay, but he would make it. They would make it, and they would be together in a semi-safe place after this. Shisui watched Itachi slowly pull himself in. Gather himself. Prepare for the plunge.

“I’ll wait outside,” Itachi promised. He almost reached for Shisui, but walked by gently instead. The fragile composure of his shoulders was just as much comfort as a touch would have been. Shisui turned his attention to the waiting assembly, hoping Kakashi would actually be able to extricate himself from this room when Shisui had said what he came to say.

"Now that _that_ is out of the way, let's get down to business, Shisui-kun," The faceless horror turned to Shisui, her hands folded in a demure way. She had always had this way of dismissing Itachi. It didn't work as well now that he wasn't a child, but she tried. She had always acted as if she and Shisui were in league, and Itachi were their unruly charge.

Shisui smiled. "Forgive Itachi, he has been under an unreasonable amount of stress due to the recent events, which, I believe, is an excellent place to start today." Shisui felt the shock ripple through the room. The unease. Shisui should not be taking charge like this. He should be passive.

"How did you let this happen?" Shisui let his polite smile drop. His voice lowered. He let his eyes sweep over everyone in the room, holding each masked face accountable.

"What." The faceless woman stood stiff and still.

“How,” Shisui said with perfect articulation, as if explaining something to Naruto. “Did you allow a highly elite group within ANBU, already Konoha’s most elite, to be infiltrated with _traitors?_ You were charged with guarding one of the most coveted bloodlines in the ninja world, and you have allowed it to be decimated and almost stolen. Whose _gross_ oversight or unimaginable incompetence allowed this to happen?”

Silence so complete met Shisui’s words he wanted to giggle. He heard Kakashi’s hands tighten on the wheelchair. Perhaps he should have given Kakashi a better head’s up on what was going to go down.

“I understand,” Shisui pressed on. “That the particulars are above me, and you could never give me a name. I don’t care about that.” They were in the Hokage’s tower, so Shisui assumed the Hokage would know what was said here. He might even be behind one of these masks. Shisui needed to sow doubt about ANBU’s competency. He needed to capitalize on their mistakes to his and Itachi’s benefit.

“Then what do you care about, Shisui?” The faceless woman spoke coldly. Shisui had always been their good child--their lap dog so simpering and eager and defacing. So convenient to keep the monster they created in check. Now they remembered he was a Dog as well. Now they saw his teeth again.

“I care that you are more concerned with revenge than Konoha’s welfare. You bought into the delusion of your own propaganda, that we Dogs were some fearsome invulnerable monsters and almost became a laughing stock right before the Chuunin exams, where shinobi from every corner of the world will gather to pass rumors and whisper.” Shisui didn’t let his gaze waver. “And the reason Konoha has only two Dogs left is because you were too incompetent to control the Dogs through anything but terror and blind obedience. You relied on the crudest of weapons and now it’s cut all of our throats.”

“I believe you are trying to say you deserved better treatment, Shisui-kun. Isn’t that it?” The faceless woman asked sweetly, kindly. Shisui’s spine tightened at the noise.

“I am saying that your only have yourselves to blame for what comes next. You took the path of least resistance and called it good enough. You broke down children through torture and terror and then congratulated yourself on your _cleverness._ ” Shisui’s throat had tightened, and he tried to relax. He motioned to his leg. “If you had done your jobs correctly, either there would not have been a breach of security, or I would have had enough autonomy to avoid the trap. Had you fostered more trust instead of fear, Itachi might have come to you with his report, but that is a reality we are not in. Now, you have only two Dogs. One of them is crippled, and both of them were nearly in enemy hands. Now you’re facing a security breach and inquisition.”

More silence. Shisui knew they were trying to give him enough rope and space to hang himself, but he had been given a stage. He would use it.

“And you’ve convinced Itachi he’s smarter than all of you and you have neatly assassinated your reputation of competence,” Shisui added. “You’ve lost all control of him.”

“You were supposed to keep control of him,” The woman said. She advanced on Shisui. “But we all know you have more control over your darling little cousin than you were ever willing to admit. It seems we underestimated _you_ , and your desire for vengeance. You fostered these ideas of rebellion so gently and subtly over the years and created a monster we could only manage through the severest of restrictions and punishments, and now turn that around and blame us for the situation you created.”

The woman spoke to lull Shisui to complacency. How much influence did he have over Itachi? Was he the reason Konoha had acted towards them the way they had? Every fiber in Shisui’s being thrummed. He knew he was wrong. He was always wrong. The blame always rested on him.

“You were always so clever at getting what you wanted,” The faceless woman stopped in front of Shisui. Shisui had to look up at her. “Even back then you wanted him, didn’t you? The little Uchiha heir under your command, and what wonderful things you have done with him. Truly, we should have thrown you on the pile with all the other bodies.” Oh, such a softly spoke threat. Such a subtle devaluing of Shisui and a reminder of all he had to be grateful to them for.

“I did not want to watch another _child_ bleed out.” Shisui realized his missing leg was a blessing here. He didn’t have to decide if he would pace or stand. He could only sit. “And neither did any of you. I gave you all the excuse you wanted not to kill another useful soldier, even if he was the heir. After all, Itachi showed such promise. _I_ showed so much promise, so you tangled us up in each other so we would continually keep each other in check. You threw us together so you could pit us against each other, because you were frightened of what we could become but too greedy to cut our throats.”

Shisui’s voice had become lower. It had become almost angry. “Congratulations. It worked masterfully until you pushed him too hard until he had to fight free or drown.”

“Then he did give himself a panic attack?” The faceless woman, by virtue of her not having a face, remained impassive. She had always loved this tactic--sweeping Shisui off his feet with these jumps of logic or assumptions.

“No.”

“What did you two fight about?” She was trying to take his momentum away and gain power back for herself.

Shisui clenched his hands around the arms of the chair. He could hear Kakashi shift behind him. “We fought because I realized I no longer had any control over him or his decisions. You can threaten and influence me all you like, but none of us are in control anymore. Even if you hurt me, he won’t cave to you anymore.”

The silence came back. Shisui felt dizzy. His heart pounded. His mouth had become dry. The woman who had ruled over his childhood with terror and agony stood over him. Shisui was one halfhearted blow from bleeding out. He didn’t care. He had had enough of being dead weight. His entire body sang with terror, but he burned it for energy. For a reminder.

“You’re making it very obvious we can’t trust you. Ether of you. It seems we were never wrong about the ambition of the Uchiha.” The amiable tone had gone. Shisui felt the panicked chill slide down his skin.

“My lofty ambition is to not be taken captive and butchered like livestock. An added bonus would be going home at night to a terrible but private apartment and knowing I’m not going to be arbitrarily tossed out of my bed for senseless punishment that everyone knows is undeserved but pretends is a merciful and just decision made by benevolent rulers.” Shisui leaned back. His heart had not slowed down.

“You forced us to this end.” Shisui’s voice faltered. “Don’t blame me for your failures.”

“You should not allow yourself to get so excited in your delicate state, Shisui-kun.” The words held the old threat. Fall into line. Behave. Act right. Bite down. Or else.

Shisui would rather die than be subjected to this a moment longer. He would rather die than be used to drag Itachi down any more. He had thought Itachi could not survive without him, but he could. He would. Likely not in Konoha, but Itachi as a missing nin would not be so bad. He would find somewhere to belong.

“But a man who places no value on his life will behave rashly,” The woman went on. Shisui tried to gather himself for whatever this attack would be.

“You accuse us so freely of not caring what happens to our Dogs, but how many times did ANBU pull you out of a gutter? How many times did the knowledge of their eyes keep you from hurting yourself?” The woman had folded her hands. “Does Itachi know how many times you planned it out? Do you know, Shisui-kun, how many Dogs killed themselves the moment ANBU blinked?”

“How surprising they didn’t enjoy being constant prisoners,” Shisui’s voice had gone hoarse. He cleared his throat. “Are you going to shame me for deciding I might have something to live for?”

“Are your motivations truly your own, Shisui-kun? You have change of late. You aren’t who you used to be.” The voice had gone silky soft. “How often have you woken in the night to Itachi’s red eyes?”

Shisui actually smiled. “It’s becoming very hard to remember why I was so afraid of you.” Shisui did understand why he had been so afraid. It still hummed in his body, along every nerve. Still, suggesting Itachi had genjutsu’d him into this? Actually the idea might have some merit. “You’ve lost your power. It would be better if you graciously accepted it instead of striking out so desperately.”

“Ah, Shisui-kun, there are _many_ things still within my power, and you are the least among them.” Shisui heard the smile in her low, sweet voice. “Let us begin.”  
~  
It had to be past midnight when Shisui finally lay on the bedroom floor of the apartment. Itachi was explaining the traps and methods they would use to signal the guards outside. He remained professional and composed. He made it seem he was always telling people how he wanted to be protected and what he would tolerate.

Shisui just lay on the floor, stump propped up, chakra activated cooling pack in place, woozy and sick and so mentally exhausted he wanted to cry. If he had been more sure about how he felt about anything, he probably would have cried. He had to be carried to the apartment, since he didn't want to wheel himself through Konoha. Itachi had matter of factly said he was going to carry Shisui, despite the weight difference, and so he had.

Anko sat beside Shisui now, after looking around the apartment. “Do you guys even get paid?”

“Sometimes,” Shisui had never had anyone but ANBU and Itachi in the apartment, and he had suddenly realized how shabby it was. Not just the space but everything they kept in the space was worn and broken or cracked.

“Or are you not allowed nicer things?” Anko looked around. Shisui had not even bothered with unfolding any bedding. How long had it been since he’d been in here?

“Yes and no,” Shisui closed his eyes. “It’s a shitty place, let’s leave it at that.”

Anko had given up acting like a guard and was sitting by his head. She stroked his curls, which felt stiff and matted. “We’ll take up a collection and do a make-over. It can be a mission for Team 7.”

“You let them into my house and I will never speak to you ever again,” Shisui muttered. “This is my _sanctuary._ ” Filled with people as Genma, Raidou, Kakashi, and Anko rotated off the guard shift and other people took it on. Shisui couldn’t remember who exactly, which bothered him. He also couldn't muster the energy to ask who, which bothered him more.

“Well thank you for letting me into your _sanctuary._ ” Anko mocked him. Shisui cracked an eye open. Anko was looking around her; probably constructing the life Itachi and Shisui had led from the shabby walls and implications.

“Thank you.” Shisui felt it had to be said. He didn’t think he’d ever said it to her.

“You realize I got conscripted, right?” Anko stroked his crusty hair again, though.

“No, for everything before that.” The years and years of human contact and push back and humanity.

Anko glanced down at Shisui. “You know I did it to prove how little I cared about what people thought about me, no other reason.” She’d been his first bully outside of ANBU. She had been the first one his age to take him on. It was the sort of thing you fell in love with people for.

“I know, but the end justifies the means here.” Shisui watched her lips compress, her brows draw together.

“I wouldn’t have made it without you,” Shisui said. Anko didn’t want to hear it. Shisui knew that.

The look she gave him wasn’t impressed. “We’re not going to be fucking any time soon, so you can stop with the sweet talking.”

“I am attempting to express my gratitude for all the long years of putting up with me,” Shisui complained.

“Save it for your death bed. Or mine. Better, save your outpouring of emotions for your boyfriend,” Anko jerked her head in the direction of the other room, where Itachi was still speaking. Shisui felt his face flush.

“You know, he doesn’t blush when I call you his boyfriend. He just looks constipated,” Anko added.

Shisui gave her a sour look. “Do not antagonize Itachi.” Itachi should be the one more comfortable with their relationship, since he had initiated it. Shisui knew Itachi didn’t need any added pressure.

“I did not antagonize. I lightly teased him to congratulate him on finally getting you in the sack,” Anko went on. Shisui felt his face get hotter.

“We did not...you know, it’s none of your business.” Shisui pushed at Anko. “You’re antagonizing _me_. Shoo. Go. Be free.”

“Oh, cupcake, you’re not getting rid of me that easily,” Anko patted Shisui’s crunchy curls. “You’re practically stuck with me for life.” Shisui tried to express his dismay through contorting his face into the most horrified expression possible, but it made his nose hurt. He gave up.

“I’m actually exhausted and emotions are hard,” Shisui admitted. Banter with Anko fell into easy territory, but he could feel anxiety and dread getting ready to pull him down and smother him. Anko kept pulling him up above that. “How sad would it be if I break down now?”

“I think it’s the perfect time, because there are people around to help you get back together,” Anko pointed out. She looked at him. “Should I close the door so no one can hear?”

Shisui chuckled. “I did not mean immediately.”

“Be sure to give me advance notice so I can bring you chocolate and tissues,” Anko suggested. She must be almost as exhausted as Shisui. They had all been thrown into a dangerous new dynamic, put on display and targeted. Shisui raised a hand. Anko raised an eyebrow.

“Should I kiss it, your majesty?”

“You could hold it,” Shisui suggested dryly. “Why do I hang out with you people? Why am I surrounded by people who can’t accept simple gestures of friendship and affection?”

“We’re past hand holding, Shisui.” Anko leaned down, a fluid collapse of the body, and kissed him. Her lips had a bitter tang like poison. She’d probably had a mild sedative to take the edge off the day. “Outpouring of emotions accepted.” Anko said as she pulled back.

Shisui knew Itachi was in the door without even looking. Anko still startled, which meant she wasn’t trying to make Itachi jealous. Itachi came up on soft feet and looked down at Shisui. He looked terrible, with bags under his eyes and exhaustion lining his face. Likely no one else could tell how close to empty he was.

“We’re all set for the night. Do you need something to eat?” Itachi’s eyes raked over Shisui, assessing. He glanced at Anko, but Shisui missed whatever glance they shared.

“Probably,” Shisui admitted. “I don’t know if we have any food in the apartment.”

Itachi nearly smirked. “There’s instant ramen.”

“That’s for kissing Anko, isn’t it?” Shisui whined.

Itachi cocked an eyebrow--just a little twitch--and looked at Anko, then at Shisui. “Should you be punished for displaying affection to other people?”

“This is a trick question.” It sounded like one.

“I’m putting you through enough emotional distress as it is, and I wouldn't play those games after what we've grown up with.” Itachi folded down onto his knees beside Shisui. “And, as you said, all kisses are not equal, so being upset over such things would be a waste of energy.”

“....you’re _savage_ ,” Anko said, and she smirked. Shisui knew that look.

“No.” Shisui struggled up right. “No. Mine. Stop.” Itachi and Anko both pulled him up. “ _I_ am not sharing. Take your lecherous self home.” Anko laughed at him, and Itachi’s fingers touched Shisui’s back. The tingle made Shisui light headed. Sitting up made him light headed. Everything in this moment made his buoyant and heady and threatened to make him hysterical.

Anko stood. “I’m not getting paid right now anyway. I’m back at dawn to watch your sorry ass anyway.” Anko stretched, arching her back as something popped. She winked.

“Sleep well, children.”

Shisui leaned back into Itachi for a moment, and Itachi held him loosely. "It's nice to know you consider kissing acceptable friendly affection. Which I probably should have covered before I encouraged it."

Itachi breathed out, hair rushing hot over Shisui's ear. Shisui liked that. "I think I'm okay unless you're going to have sex. I'll let you know if that changes."

"I'm assuming you mean if the kissing _starts_ bothering you, not if sex stops bothering you?" Shisui twisted to look at Itachi.

"I'm saying..." Itachi shook his head. He kissed Shisui's temple. The world seemed to tilt under Shisui. "Let me get us something to eat and we'll talk after that if you need to." Itachi brushed a kiss over Shisui’s neck before he stood, probably seeing Anko and everyone else out as well as fixing food. Shisui sat in the empty room and listened to the noises or everyone leaving. He heard the door close. Latch. ANBU did not wait outside tonight. For the first time in years, over a decade, Shisui sat in a room in Konoha and knew no ANBU was going to come through a window. No eyes were watching and judging him. In theory. Anyway.

The reality, the significance, the past week and the collapse and restructure of Shisui’s life all collided. All collapsed on him, and Shisui did something he had not in years.

He put his head down in his hands, and he cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT? An update? So soon after the last one?
> 
> Shisui is the absolute easiest narrator. And he wouldn't stop talking. You're in for a horribly written smutty interlude Sunday and then a Kakashi chapter. Thanks for sticking it out so long!
> 
> Confession: I've been cheating on this angst fest with a tooth rotting fluff fest that might appear sooner than later.


	21. 17.5 Interlude: Nocturne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward fluffy and smutty interlude. Plot returns next chapter.

Shisui woke up feeling like he has cried himself to sleep. His face ached. His eyes were raw, and his nose was stuffy. He’d probably been snoring. He had to sleep on his back, his stump propped up. His body ached from the position. Itachi had turned his back to Shisui to sleep, spine digging into Shisui’s ribs. As soon as Shisui shifted, Itachi sat up, turning to look down at Shisui.

“You haven’t slept at all, have you?” Shisui croaked. 

“I dozed a little,” A shrug. A hand touching Shisui in an absent, fond way. Tucking under his shirt, up his skin. Shisui shivered, goose bumps rising on his flesh.

“You need to. Help me shift around and we’ll both go back to sleep.

Itachi helped Shisui rearrange the sparse bedding. They did need new bedding, even combining it all into one pile didn’t make it seem less shabby or comfortable. Every position made Shisui ache, though he only had about three options. This time Itachi curled up with his head on Shisui’s shoulder. Shisui delicately put an arm around Itachi’s waist. It seemed intensely illicit. 

But all Shisui could smell was hospital stench.

"I smell like a hospital," Shisui whined.

"You do, but you're not supposed to get your leg wet," Itachi mumbled. Shisui rubbed Itachi’s side and tried to relax again. He had been so exhausted before. He still felt exhausted. He should just be able to drop back into sleep as if he’d never left it.

After fifteen minutes of forcing himself not to twitch or shift so Itachi might sleep, Shisui gave up. He could tell Itachi wasn’t asleep.

"I will settled for a sponge bath," Shisui said. He had to do something other than just lying here.

"I'll help you." Itachi lay still for a few seconds more before pushing himself up to get Shisui’s crutches. Shisui managed to get up on one knee without help, but allowed Itachi to pull him up the rest of the way. In the sim light of the bedroom light, Itachi looked more haggard and sleepless, but also softer. He looked younger. Itachi glanced up from helping Shisui adjust his crutches and raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Sappy things.” Shisui shifted on the crutches and swung past Itachi. 

It still felt surreal--knowing ANBU wouldn't sweep in and wasn't supposed to be around. Shisui swung to the tiny bathroom, leaving the crutches at the door and awkwardly hopping the rest of the way in. He perched on the edge of the bathtub and stripped his shirt off. Itachi wandered in, hair tied into a messy bun. He had the basin the usually used to soak bloody clothes in and started filling it with water.

“Am I only washing your torso?” Itachi asked.

"...I'm having second thoughts about you helping," Shisui admitted. He didn't think...he was pretty sure he couldn't act on any urges, still partially bled out and his leg prone to throbbing pain. Still. “And I’m afraid I’ll fall is I try to take my pants off.”

“If I can re-dress a corpse I can get your pants off.” Itachi shook his head. "I'll only get your back if that makes you feel better." Shisui look at the set of Itachi;s lips and didn't push it. He nodded, and Itachi had to help him get his pants off. This was far less sexy and much more awkward.

Sponge baths were always degrading. Things got worse when one had only one leg, and a newly romantic partner to help out. With Itachi in the room, working on Shisui's back, things were less degrading and more awkward. It wasn't as if they hadn't seen each other naked multiple times, though less and less the older they got, but this was different. This was they had some agreement that possibly might lead to physical intimacy, and sponge bath was not the first way Shisui had imagined Itachi seeing him naked.

Good thing Itachi seemed much more interested in washing than anything else, and Shisui could keep his own thoughts clear if he focussed on the pain of his leg. He'd just have to suffer through the trial of getting dressed again with Itachi's gentle help. The gentleness made Shisui feel like a burden--like he was some fragile invalid to be protected.

Being damp chilled Shisui, but Itachi kept the water in the basin hot, so each pass of the cloth in his hand was a pleasant swath of heat. The soap was a familiar one, lavender and spice because it had to not smell like soap for either of them to stand it. Shisui worked on his leg and chest, slowly relaxing.

Itachi kissed the nape of Shisui's neck. His lips were warm and dry on Shisui's wet skin. He leaned his forehead on Shisui's shoulder, gentle. Gentle and innocent and platonic, Shisui tried to tell himself.

_Damnit_. That wasn't working. Itachi straightened and kissed the side of Shisui's neck next, hand with the rag moving to scrub again as he pulled back. Shisui let his breath out slowly. He'd forgotten about washing. He didn’t even know what he’d been thinking.

"Is your leg hurting?" Itachi's hand skimmed Shisui's side as the wet cloth traveled back up. He’d rewet it and it was almost too hot.

"No." It hurt in a manageable way. 

"Can you get your lower leg by yourself?" Itachi asked, and Shisui was starting to think Itachi was doing more touching than washing, which was what Shisui would be doing if he had access to Itachi's naked back, but.

But.

Shisui should be too old for reactions like this. He should be too stressed from almost dying and depressed from being maimed and terrified because Itachi was taking on ANBU and Konoha head on.

"Shisui."

Shisui shivered. Itachi touched his shoulder and then stopped.

"Ah." The exhale was faintly colored with sound. "That's why you're tense." Shisui glanced at Itachi, who glanced up with pink cheeks on an impassive face.

Shisui tried to shield himself with the washcloth. At least Itachi was blushing. “I didn’t lose _that_ much blood.”

Itachi smirked a fraction and kissed Shisui’s jaw. Shisui closed his eyes. Itachi followed that with a kiss to Shisui’s neck, pressing his back against Shisui’s wet skin, touching Shisui’s thigh. Shisui almost yanked the not leg away. The image was surreal. Itachi’s slim hand on Shisui’s thigh, which now ended well before his knee. Shisui swallowed. Breathed slowly.

“Um.” Shisui turned his head, bumping his nose into Itachi’s. Itachi looked up. Shisui felt his face flushing harder. Having Itachi staring at his dick shouldn’t affect him so strongly, but. Itachi’s pupils were large, and he had a _look_ on his face Shisui both loved and hated.

“Are you always this eloquent with your lovers?” Itachi asked. His lips curved.

“I hate you so much right now.” Because Shisui wanted to throw Itachi on the ground and have him right then and there. Because he wanted to move like he wanted, and he had a half healed wound and a missing limb. He wanted this to be something different, but he _wanted._

Itachi leaned forward and kissed Shisui, slightly softer lips than normal. Shisui caught Itachi’s hair in a hard grip, turning Itachi’s head and pulling him in. Itachi made a noise deep in his throat, his hand shifting up to steady himself, except he wasn’t. He was stroking the inside of Shisui’s thigh, almost as if trying to soothe Shisui.

“So much,” Shisui hissed as he broke away from Itachi’s lips.

“Are you sure this isn’t going to set back your healing?” Itachi asked, somehow still concerned with that. Shisui barked a laugh and reached up with both hands to cup Itachi’s face. He didn’t remember the last time he’d done that. Itachi’s jaw was not so narrow as all of that. Sharp, but not narrow.

“Life is short, and I’m already missing one limb. I might as well have some fun before someone cuts another one off,” Shisui suggested, more softly than he meant. He no longer knew how he’d resisted touching Itachi like this for so long.

“No one would castrate you. You’re good breeding stock.”

Shisui laughed. It rose a little hysterical, and Shisui lost his balance on the stool. Itachi steadied him easily, and then Shisui was clutching for Itachi as Itachi neatly dumped Shisui onto his back on the tile floor. One of Itachi’s hands cradled Shisui’s stump, keeping it stable and safe as Itachi kissed Shisui again.

“ _Fuck._ ” Itachi’s hair fell all in his face from this angle. Shisui wrapped a large handful of it up in his hand. “Fuck.” This was unfair. This was amazing. This was stupid.

“Fuck me?” Itachi offered helpfully. Words Shisui had never thought to hear from Itachi that sent a stab of _want_ down Shisui’s spine.

“No, you’re too impatient,” Shisui snapped but, but he was on the verge of laughing again. The reality was Shisui would likely pass out if he tried anything strenuous. Instead Shisui pulled Itachi down by his hair for another kiss.

“You need more practice,” Shisui muttered as Itachi pulled back.

“I learn fast.” Itachi leaned his forehead on Shisui’s. He breathed in and out. Shisui traced the curve of Itachi’s ear and neck, coming around to the hollow of his throat to feel Itachi swallow.

“Can I touch you?” Itachi asked.

Shisui decided not to be pedantic. “You’ll flip me onto my back without permission, but not touch my dick?” Shisui asked as Itachi pulled back a little. One of those things made Itachi nervous. One of them mattered to him in a different way. 

Itachi eyed Shisui. Shisui breathed and nodded against his better judgement. He let Itachi’s hair slide out of his fingers. He breathed slowly out and then opened his eyes. 

“That isn’t a very overwhelming yes,” Itachi whispered, close enough Shisui felt his breath.

“It’s a very overwhelming proposition.” Shisui tugged on Itachi’s shirt gently, prompting him down for another kiss. “Touch me.”

But Itachi, being Itachi, took his time. His hand slid up Shisui’s thigh. Shisui could feel the catch of Itachi’s callouses n the softer skin, the warm damp still on his fingers. Shisui felt exposed, laid out on the bathroom floor in their apartment, naked and _aware_ in a way he tried to avoid in intimate encounters. Goosebumps rose over all his skin as Itachi kissed him slowly, as if coordinating the hand edging towards Shisui’s shaft and his lips was almost too much.

Shisui reached down and grabbed Itachi’s hand, shifting himself to bring his leg into contact with Itachi. The way Itachi stiffened, almost bowing up, the change of expression on his face, was almost enough to distract Shisui from the anxious, racing thoughts. Pulling Itachi’s hand firmly to where it was supposed to be was more than enough. Itachi’s fingers twitched almost away before slowly curling in.

“That’s what you’re looking for,” Shisui whispered, slowly letting go of Itachi’s hand. Itachi gave Shisui an almost venomous look, drawing his hand up, thumbing the slit almost too hard. Shisui rose up on his elbows, bringing his leg into firmer contact with Itachi (who was obviously as bothered as Shisui), and this time got a cutting smirk from Itachi’s lips. 

“Thank you for your assistance, do you have any other advice?” Itachi asked, hand still working over Shisui--mapping him and his reactions while Shisui struggled to keep a poker face. He had already been an emotional mess for days. 

“Take off your clothes and give me a better view?” Shisui asked. Itachi kissed his throat as his hand made another purposeful stroke. Shisui let his head drop back. He grabbed a handful of Itachi’s ponytail, pulling Itachi’s head and twisting so he could bite Itachi’s ear. He was in love with the way Itachi’s hair felt clenched in his fist. It slid and slithered and also seemed likely to cut into him. He loved the way Itachi’s hand touched him--worked him unpracticed and unsure but oddly confident. He loved the way Itachi smelled and the little catches in his breathing.

“Your hair’s mine. No one else gets to touch it,” Shisui whispered. “And your lips. And your tongue and your--” Itachi cut Shisui off with another awful twist of fingers. Shisui didn’t have enough breath to moan, but a softer, weaker noise came out. He felt Itachi’s smirk against his cheek.

“And that is mine,” The softest whisper, barely reached Shisui’s ear.

“Only if you earn it,” Shisui managed. Itachi’s lips touched his temple. His jaw, his neck. Maybe this was all a new experience for Itachi, but he had always learned fast.


	22. 18. Progression

Kakashi first learned about Itachi through rumors. Everyone knew about the Dogs, and everyone knew about the youngest Dog. The Dog reputed to be the epitome of Uchiha talent, grace, and beauty along with the less desirable traits of cunning, cruelty, and ambition. Rumors about Itachi linked closely to rumors about another dog, Shisui, three years older, long limbed and affable to Itachi's close lipped silence. Truly, Itachi was the cat to Shisui laughing dog. As a Dog, Shisui garnered rumors and notice because he had been saddled with Itachi. Otherwise Shisui had little to distinguish himself from the other Dogs. Evidently even ANBU realized a child needed someone to cling to, and Shisui had been tossed to Itachi.

Kakashi had not concerned himself with those rumors until he had been told Itachi would be joining ANBU, and Itachi would be his charge.

“I’m your captain. You will follow my orders without hesitation. You will not lie to me about anything. You will never give me anything less than your best.” Kakashi looked at the child in front of him, face consumed with too-large eyes that didn’t blink enough. They were a dark color lined with black lashes in a pale face framed by inky black hair. Half the boy’s face was covered in a black mask.

Kakashi had learned this morning that the mask was a tool instrumental to the care and guidance of Itachi. It smelled like Itachi's fellow dog and jailor, Shisui. Itachi had been conditioned to respond to that smell with calm. The smell somehow linked strongly to the ideas of being safe, although how one did that for someone who had never been safe Kakashi didn’t know. Itachi had panic attacks that either immobilized him or left people bleeding and broken. He now had his Sharingan under control, but the rest of him?

Itachi sat, a dark little shadow with a fresh and weeping wound on his shoulder where they had pressed the tattoo into his skin. Itachi sat two years below the average graduation age of the Academy. He was tall for his age, but tall for ten still sat small. His body had not filled out. He looked like a beggar child, which, in some ways, he was. He also looked like a killer, ready to go of someone's throat.

“Do you understand?” Kakashi pressed. The boy nodded. Genma and Raidou had already said Itachi would not speak. Evidently after some punishment dealt to Shisui for Itachi’s transgressions, the boy had completely stopped talking. He would respond if ordered. He gave report as if reciting a learned speech, but he did not really speak. Kakashi was almost curious enough to question Shisui but not quite. Likely, more than likely, Itachi would be dead very soon. 

“You’ll be training with me,” Kakashi went on. “Every day we’re not on missions you will meet me for training unless I tell you to rest. If I do, you rest.” Itachi nodded.

“We’re going now.” Kakashi intended to test his ward before he let Itachi loose in the field. Rumor might fall away to reveal a kid who was quicker than most, but nothing else. Kakashi made Itachi dress in full armor, leaving the mask off. The boy didn’t need a mask to hide what he felt. He didn't look any larger in armor. He looked like a doll.

 _I am supposed to captain this child and keep him alive._

“Don’t hold back,” Kakashi told the boy. Kakashi had brought them down far enough to find a training room devoid of other people. He didn’t want any distractions or interference. He needed to know more than paper could tell him. Itachi kept watching Kakashi with his black eyes, looking down and into Kakashi’s being before he suddenly moved.

Kakashi had met faster. Kakashi was faster at that point, but Kakashi was also trying not to hurt Itachi.

Itachi did not care about hurting or being hurt, and Kakashi nearly cut his throat in the first three strikes. 

Itachi was a quick little shadow, death flowing here and there and suddenly in your gut or back or cutting your legs out from under you. Any movement Kakashi made was tracked and countered. It made sense. If one lived in constant fear of punishment, they would become a keen observer of the tiniest motion. The Sharingan only made Itachi that much more observant and quick.

They had given Itachi to Kakashi because they no longer thought Genma and Raidou or likely more than half of ANBU, could kill Itachi if it came down to that. And it might.

“That’s enough.” 

Itachi came to a jarring standstill on the mats. He wasn’t even breathing hard. Kakashi could see why ANBU held so tightly to Itachi. The power to be able to command something like Itachi must be heady. They saw the skill and cunning and sought to harness that. Kakashi looked at the lean limbed child and the black eyes and saw patience. He saw, even if Itachi didn’t realize it, a man waiting for a chance to unravel ANBU like a badly stitched wound.

Itachi would be a fantastic tool if ANBU had him convinced they held him in their full power, but the moment they faltered, it would be over.

No. The moment Itachi grew past them. ANBU could perform flawlessly, but their hold on Itachi would fail. He would slip through their hands like water.

And Itachi would tear them to bloody ribbons in his passing.  
~  
"Come with me."

Itachi didn't question Kakashi. The boy had begun to let words slip out beyond the necessary, but he didn't _converse_.

Tonight, Kakashi got his first real taste of what being the guardian for a Dog like Itachi could be.

Kakashi had already learned more than he liked. Rumors had begun lately about Itachi and his older cousin and keeper, Shisui. The rumors had always been there as a background murmur, but they had gotten louder now that Itachi had stopped looking so much like a child. It didn’t help that Shisui had decided alcohol poisoning or dead in a sadists bed would be the best way to go out. Dogs had their vices. They gambled or drunk or slept around, and everyone sneered at how the dogs had no discipline or control, thus ANBU was right to control them so tightly.

The rumors existence didn’t bother Kakashi. He doubted they were true, as little as he had interacted with Shisui so far. He knew it was Shisui who braided Itachi’s hair up tightly before missions. He knew if Shisui had asked for that kind of service from Itachi, Itachi would not refuse him, but Kakashi didn’t see it happening. Kakashi had seen the two in their tiny, one room apartment. He had seen Shisui's tenderness and Itachi's adoration and understood ANBU had a better grasp on Itachi than Kakashi had assumed. 

What bothered Kakashi was how everyone ask him whether or not these things were true. Or if he watched. Or if he minded “sharing” his Dog with Shisui, and if he might share Itachi around a bit more. Ultimately, Kakashi disliked it because it exposed him to a side of his fellow shinobi he would rather not see.

Having Itachi follow him through Konoha was unnerving. Itachi moved like a shadow. One had to question if he was a person sometimes. He lacked the vices and flaws most people had, instead being drowned in more panic, anxiety, and trauma related mental ticks than most war veterans. 

Eventually, they arrived at the house. Kakashi took Itachi to the trees around the yard. Itachi followed, but he did not ask question. He crouched and waited. He revealed less than if he wore his mask. Kakashi didn't think he'd ever fully be able to read Itachi. The streets were sleepy, but this was a residential section of Konoha Kakashi had rarely passed through. Itachi had likely never been here. It was a place for people with families.

A boy ran out of the house. His mother followed. Kakashi saw Itachi's body tense. An all over reaction so subtle Kakashi more smelled it than saw it. The child ran to catch fireflies, and Kakashi wondered if Itachi held any jealousy in his chest for the boy. Itachi had to know who this was. Some recognition had to be there. Sasuke looked so much like Itachi and even his late father, even Kakashi could see it.

"That is your brother," Kakashi said.

"I don't have a brother." Itachi responded easily. Automatic. The mechanical tone had a soft catch. There were other noises in the twilight. A baby had started to cry not too far away.

"That is your brother Sasuke, and you're going to write him a note telling him about his parents," Kakashi didn't understand the orders himself. He didn't know if Itachi were being rewarded or punished. He didn't even know if the orders were supposed to be obeyed or not. So many of Itachi's choices were damning, not matter what choice he made. This, Kakashi suspected, would be what made Itachi buckle.

"No."

Kakashi had Itachi slammed back against the tree by his throat in less than a second, and a knife almost in the boy's heart. Itachi had not even flinched, but what did death bring him but escape? He met Kakashi's eyes, and Kakashi saw stubbornness in them. He saw the gentle _bite down_ Shisui whispered in his cousin's ear over and over. Kakashi heard Itachi's teeth creak, his entire body _holding down_ something. Would this be the day Itachi broke and went for Kakashi's throat.

The child below them screamed. He had fallen and hurt himself. Itachi froze. Kakashi watched in fascination as the calm exterior just began to melt, unraveling into a pounding heart and quick breathes. Terror.

"I was told you are to write a note telling that boy about your parents," Kakashi spoke in a low voice. "And to tell you that boy is your brother. I suggest you follow your captain's orders."

The next noise was not a child's scream, but a crash from the road. Laughter and outcry followed the noise. It didn't matter. Hair trigger was hair trigger. Kakashi barely had time to move before Itachi was burying a kunai in him. They fell from the tree, only because Kakashi was trying to get the "panic pack" from his belt and keep hold of Itachi at the same time. Kakashi landed on Itachi, somehow nothing breaking as he managed to shove the wad of black cloth over Itachi's mouth. Itachi struggled, grabbing Kakashi's wrist. First, he tried to rip the hand free, and then he held it over his face, eyes now closed, body trembling, trembling, quivering down into a pliant mass.

Kakashi waited. The night noise had fallen to a hum again, but there were people around. Itachi slowly turned his head and Kakashi released him, rolling up to his feet. Itachi contracted into a crouched animal, clutching the cloth soaked in his cousin's sweat to his face.

Somedays, Kakashi pitied Itachi, being so wrapped up in someone whose existence depended on his ability to keep Itachi beaten down and held in submission to ANBU.

"Are you ready to follow orders?" Kakashi asked. Itachi looked up at him, took a deep breath, and nodded. He slowly unfolded, and Kakashi understood why these Uchiha were called Dogs. ANBU had systematically stripped the humanity from them. This was a creature of instinct and terror. They had named them Dogs, and set about to make that their truth.  
-  
"You've already made your point. You destroyed remade the Uchiha in the image you wanted to show what would happen to any who defied you. The Uchiha clan is no more and clinging to old methods for pride and vindictiveness will only hurt Konoha from here."

The best thing about all of this was watching everyone's expressions as the stone-faced monster of ANBU suddenly revealed himself to be a cunning strategist with a quick mind for politics and an accurate understanding of what the Uchiha had been. Shisui turning and bearing his teeth at ANBU had been amusing enough, but ANBU had always known Shisui was clever. They had thought him broken down enough to never stand against them, but the knowledge he would and could turn was always with them.

Kakashi tried not to take satisfaction in the shock as these people suddenly realized there was more in Itachi's head than what ANBU had put there. Kakashi didn't think they could have been more shocked if a steel weapon addressed them. ANBU had always known Itachi had a quick silver mind, and Kakashi had watched Itachi go from a child powered by terror and instinct to a crafty young killer. By the time Itachi had passed out of Kakashi's protection, he had begun realizing he did have power. Now Itachi had decided to use it.

The Council couldn't be blamed that much. ANBU had likely done everything they could to make Itachi seemed a one-dimensional killer with every Uchiha vice. They needed that narrative for all the Dogs--killers, traitors, drunkards, gamblers. Anything to show how inferior the Dogs were, and how they had none of the Uchiha discipline and order. They had been easily stripped of it. They had been reduced to stray dogs and nothing more.

"I was six when the Uchiha were killed." Kakashi noted Itachi did not use any of the euphemisms one might pick to soften his words. "So, I cannot pass a judgement on what happened twelve years ago. In those twelve years I have gained an intimate knowledge of how ANBU chose to handle the Dogs they were given, and I can saw authoritatively and definitively, these measures are no longer necessary or even remotely advisable or effective."

Itachi held himself perfectly straight Kakashi wondered if he had practice his expression in the mirror. The blank edge had dropped off it without revealing any one emotion. His black hair was raven bright and pulled from his face in a way that display his cheekbones, eyes, and jaw. Few people in this room knew how often Itachi went completely masked, half masked, or with most of his face hidden by his hair. Those who did got the message clearly.

"Putting everything else aside for the moment, what about the threat of another...abduction?" Homura asked, leaning forward. "You say you can protect yourself and Shisui, but what when you are outside of Konoha?"

"By the time I am back to running missions, Shisui will be able to defend himself against threats in the village," Itachi promised. "While he has never made a show of it, he is also ANBU caliber."

"Or he was before he was crippled." A sour faced Utatane said dourly.

Itachi cocked his head just a fraction, so his look to the woman became a glancing thing. It became a cat sizing up prey. "I have every faith Shisui will be fighting fit again before I leave Konoha, and if he is not proper arrangements will be made."

"And an ANBU guard would not be a proper arrangement?" This came with a mocking tone.

"I have always thought ANBU's reputation a little exaggerated for the sake of proper propaganda." Itachi mused. He had such a soft voice, but it carried well. It commanded attention. Kakashi realized they had been right to put Itachi down so harshly. It hadn't worked, but anything less would have had him going for their throats sooner. Actually, they should have killed the boy or left him alone.

"You have made your feelings for him clear, and extents you are willing to go to for him, so why shouldn't we do everything in our power to keep Shisui in Konoha, safe, and--"

"Under your power?" Itachi finished. "I have always found when one plan fails, it's better to switch to a different one rather than keep trying the one that failed in hopes that this time, it will work. It is time to try a different tactic."

These talks would drag on, and that was before ANBU would have a separate audience to give their side of things, and then Itachi would speak again. After going through days of interrogation, Itachi only faced more talking and meetings and explaining himself endlessly. Every day he trembled more at the end and every day Kakashi wondered how long one could hold a panic attack at bay, or if Itachi would become used to all this attention and talk and watching his words so tightly.

Only time would tell.

Today, as the meeting broke up and Kakashi reclined against a wall, a faceless woman stepped through the doors to the meeting room and leaned against the wall beside Kakashi.

"You always were fond of dogs."

"That might be an exaggeration," Kakashi hedged, looking at the pages of his books instead of anyone in the room. Itachi engaged in something like a conversation with a man whose cheeks jiggled.

"But you've switched sides," The woman continued.

"The only side I have ever been on if Konoha's side. I do what I think is best for my village," Kakashi pulled his face into a mocking smile. "After all, the deadliest member of ANBU on a murder our rampage through Konoha doesn't sound like it would be beneficial to Konoha’s wellbeing."

"If you think he's capable of that, perhaps you should kill him now and save us all," The woman went on lightly.

"My hip had been acting up. I'm not as quick as I used to be," Kakashi excused himself. Could he beat Itachi? He no longer had any idea, but it would be a struggle either way.

"Don't worry, things will soon return to the way they were. Occasionally the Council likes to scold ANBU and pretend they are the true powers that be." The faceless woman sighed. "I'm sure you will be relieved of your duties soon."

The faceless woman touched Kakashi on the sleeve before she drifted off into the room. Kakashi looked up to see Itachi staring after her, corners of his mouth stiff and edges of his eyes wild. Kakashi snapped the book shut. Time, it seemed, to get Itachi out into the fresh air and back to Shisui.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of backstory for this chapter. Hopefully questions were answered and raised. We're in the homestretch (I think, anyway?). Thanks for sticking it out this long!


	23. 19. Contempt

Shisui had slept for over eighteen hours for the past four days. It seemed when he wasn't asleep he was eating, pissing, or hurting. The medics had neglected to give him the opioid painkillers the first night out of the hospital, and Genma had delivered them for the second night. Awkward bathroom hand jobs had been a little too much activity for him. Relieved of the pain, the edge shaved off his anxiety, Shisui slept like death. He woke up when Itachi came to bed, burrowing into his back or chest, whichever had been presented, and slept more.

Today, Shisui realized how excessive so many hours of sleep were and pulled himself out of bed soon after Itachi's spot in the blankets grew cold.

"Shit, I guess I have to stop drinking your coffee," Anko sat on the kitchen counter and grinned. Aoba was with her today.

"It's Itachi's, so drink at your own risk," Shisui called over his shoulder. He scrubbed off the four day sleeping funk, feeling terrible and flushed as he remembered what had happened with Itachi. He needed to pay Itachi back, not that this was an exact rate of exchange kind of thing, but. He wanted to. He felt he was dead weight in all aspects of his life right now.

"I thought you were supposed to wait outside," Shisui added as he came back out. The crutches annoyed him, but they got him around. He tried not to think about the way his leg swung back and forth—dead weight. More dead weight. Shisui almost giggled.

"Itachi-san suggested we be inside while you slept," Aoba said. He didn't look as relaxed as Anko, but his eyes were hidden behind sunglasses. Shisui shrugged.

"Whatever he thinks is best." Shisui opened a cabinet. Someone needed to go shopping. He could go shopping.

"Itachi told me to tell you he'd shop," Anko added.

"Last time he shopped it was all sweets and coffee." An exaggeration to be sure, but not that far off. "Where's my gennin team? They can fetch and carry for me." The thought of going outside with a leg missing...well, it would not grow back so Shisui would have to manage with the terrified feeling. He would get over feeling panicked. Likely it would not kill him.

Likely.

"No, I’ve got the two of you. I might as well put you to good use." Shisui suggested, slammed the cabinet door. "Do I still have shoes, or did Itachi hide all of those?" It took longer than Shisui liked, but he was soon ready to go out with his two guards. Aoba took to the trees and Anko walked with Shisui at his labored and awkward pace.

"This was an awful idea," Shisui admitted as they turned onto a more inhabited street. He could feel people peering down out of their windows at him. While so much he felt had changed, nothing had actually changed out here. Out here he was still a dog. Everyone would wonder why ANBU let him wander loose. They would look for his keepers and whisper and wonder and.

Anko's hand touched Shisui's arm. "You can do this."

Shisui didn't pause in stride as he looked over at her. "Can I?"

"Itachi can and you're a lot less agoraphobic than he is," Anko shrugged. "Do you need a hug?"

"I can't believe you just asked me that." Shisui tried to look aghast. "Maybe later. You'd mess up my groove."

"I'd probably knock you over." Anko rolled her eyes. "Is there a reason you don't shop at this conveniently close grocery store?" Anko asked, motioning to one of the many small, family owned shops in Konoha.

"Yeah, it’s run by retired ninja. I shop over by Oak's Crossing. It's a mostly civilian neighborhood and they don't mind me there," Shisui explained. He might try somewhere a little closer, actually. It had been a while since he'd been to some other places.

Anko eyed the building as if she were casing it. "You could stand up to them now."

"We're already antagonizing ANBU, so I really don't want to piss anyone else off until that's settled." Shisui kept swinging. "Let me just enjoy walking with you."

Anko watched the shop for a few more minutes before turning to follow Shisui. She looked like she'd smelled something rancid, but she shook it off with a shrug. "I suddenly realize I've taken Itachi out to eat before I took you." Anko grinned. Shisui grinned back.

"He's off the market."

"Sweetheart, he was never on the market." Anko patted Shisui's shoulder. "Where's some place that lets you eat without a fuss? I think we should leave them a big tip."

They ended up at a ramen stall. Shisui looked at the name. He'd never paid much attention to it, but suddenly everything fell into place. He hadn't eaten here in a while, maybe a year or more, and he had never made the connection before.

"What?" Anko had tensed.

"I changed my mind--"

"Shisui-sensei!" Naruto burst out of the ramen stall. "Is it time for training? How did you know where to find me?" Shisui ignored Anko's snicker.

"We were just coming for some ramen," Shisui admitted. "I had no idea you'd be here."

"Oh, well, this is the best ramen in all of Konoha!" Naruto gestured emphatically. His eyes suddenly narrowed. "Are you on a date?"

Anko slung an arm around Shisui's shoulders, fanged smirk showing every one of her teeth. "Yes." Naruto looked practically offended.

" _No_. She's my bodyguard," Shisui nudged her. She dropped her arm, but Naruto didn't look convinced.

"I'm almost finished, but I guess I can eat another bowl," Naruto still looked skeptical. Shisui sighed.

"Yes, Naruto, I will buy you a bowl of ramen. Another bowl. But we talked about proper nutrition at least five times. Sakura and Sasuke made you a whole notebook," Shisui pointed out as he followed the boy to the seats.

"This _is_ healthy. There's meat for protein and vegetables for vitamins and crap," Naruto insisted. "And I'm taking the vitamins every day. Almost every day."

"Eat something better later," Shisui chided, and then realized he was face to face with the owner of the stall. His face went hot. "Uhm."

"I tell him all the time he shouldn't eat so much ramen." The girl smiled. "What are you having?"

"Oooh, let me pick, Shisui-sensei!" Naruto demanded. Shisui conceded. Aoba joined them, and Shisui bought everyone a round of ramen while Naruto loudly told anyone who would listen how amazing his Shisui-sensei was and how Team 7 would kick butt at the Chuunin exams.

~

“Enjoying yourself, Dog?” 

Shisui froze his fingers almost on a clip. He turned his head and looked at the woman who was picking through nail polish samples. Was she ANBU out of uniform? If she were found out, she would be in trouble, but ANBU were masked haunts, not people with faces.

“You seem so pleased with yourself on the street, with your head held so high,” The woman went on, her eyes never wavering from the samples. Shisui tried to recognize her voice. Did he know her?

“You must have mistaken me for another dog,” Shisui said mildly, motioning to the crutches. “These make it hard to keep my head up.

The woman’s lips thinned. She looked at Shisui now. She was older. Older than Kakashi maybe? Older than Shisui. Old enough to know what an Uchiha had been and what it was now.

“Oh, how clever. You’re such a harmless cripple now. Did you let them cut your leg off for sympathy?” The woman’s eyes didn’t waver. They were hot but cold. They burned into Shisui. She would kill him in an instant if she thought she could get away with it.

Once, the faceless woman had told Shisui that ANBU protected them. Shisui didn’t want to think that could be in any way true, but he knew it was in part a truth. ANBU couldn’t hold them like this unless someone else--a great many someone elses-- believed what ANBU said. The Uchiha had never been well liked, after all.

Shisui wanted to duck his head and leave, but weren’t things supposed to be changing? She wouldn’t hurt him, right? If he wanted things to change he had to be like Itachi and change them. All Shisui had done was lose a leg.

“Have we met before?” Shisui asked politely. “You seem to be holding something against me, but I don’t recall your face.”

“You wouldn’t have a reason to notice me,” The woman said. “People such as me would be below your notice.”

“I think you’re selling yourself short. After all, one such as me is most likely to be looking at your feet.” Shisui looked at the woman’s shoes. “Aaah, perhaps we have met after all.”

The woman’s expression didn’t shift. “Do you think we’re all so taken in by your charm and face?”

“Who’s we?” Shisui asked.

“All of us who remember what an Uchiha is like. We know what those children are going to grow up into, and we know what you are despite ANBU claiming to have beaten it out of you.”

“And what am I?” Shisui smiled again. “I thought I was a Dog?”

“Your blood slaughtered the Yondaime, his wife, and released the Kyuubi on the village,” The woman spoke in a low, cold tone. “Or did you forget what your clan was executed for? It would have been better if they’d killed every one of you.”

Shisui felt his throat constrict. She hadn’t moved towards him. She stood perfectly composed and she did not raise her voice.

“No one could ever prove that,” Shisui managed the words tightly. They sounded desperate.

“There was no one else it could have been. Fugaku played himself a friend to Minato, but when the time came he turned on him. They should have sent ANBU would stronger stomachs that night.” It unnerved Shisui more that she was still talking in the same tone. He could have stood it if she got angry, but she wasn’t. She didn’t. She just kept on talking low and easy and hard.

“Or sent those who had lost a loved one. Your clan should have lost a member for every person lost in the fox attack. Burned alive, crushed, slaughtered--however their victims died, they should have been punished. The whole compound should have been burned to the ground.”

Shisui remembered the night of the fox attack. He remembered holding Itachi and Sasuke to him as they watched the world burn down. He remembered how the adults had fled, telling children to stay and some arguing about leaving the village. Things had gone sour after that. Everyone had been tense and angry.

But, if his family had gone to help, how could they be the cause? Surely they had left to help. The Uchiha had not caused the Kyuubi attack.

The night of the Kyuubi’s attack always mixed with the night his family had been slaughtered for Shisui. It all tangled up inside of him--his last nightmare before he’d been put in the dark by ANBU. He’d been crippled then to.

"That would have been for the best," Shisui admitted. Now the woman's expression changed. She looked wary. "Do you know why they didn't? It's because people needed someone to blame. They needed someone to _hate_."

Shisui spread an arm, the other clenched around his crutch. "I was nine. I had no idea what my clan was planning, if they were planning anything, but I wasn't spared because I was innocent or my father's reputation. I was spared because you needed someone to hate."

She spit in his face. It burned like acid. It had missed his eyes so Shisui ignored it. He couldn't ignore her suddenly in his space. He stumbled back, uncoordinated. Unlike Itachi he did not have a reflex to lash out. He had never fought back, so she shoved him back against the shelves without even touching him.

Her cold eyes were inches away. Her breath smelled too sweet. Poison. For a wild moment, Shisui thought she might kiss him with her poisoned mouth and end him that way. "I knew your father. I remember how he spoke. I know there's more power to an Uchiha than what is in his eyes." The woman met said eyes calmly.

"You're a liar and a manipulator. From the day you were born you were false."

Shisui wondered if he could ask if she had ever been a faceless woman whispering in his cell, or if this stranger just hated him so much because of what he was. "You may have slipped ANBU's net, but those of us who remember are watching you. From afar, from your side, from other’s eyes. We're watching, Uchiha. That monster you made does not protect you as much as you hope.”

She stepped back. She looked him over.

"Just remember, Shisui-kun. We're watching." She didn't smile. She walked away. Shisui clutched the shelving behind him. He slowly sank down to the ground. He clutched his knee to his chest. His face burned. His chest burned. His heart beat like it would give out.

He heard footsteps and looked up to see Anko. He had no idea how long he’d been on the floor.

“Okay there?” Anko asked as she walked up.

"Yeah," Shisui swallowed. "Everything is fine." He smiled. He was false. A liar from his first breath.

They could escape from ANBU, but they would never be free from this.

~

 _Nothing changes in a day._ Shisui reminded himself. He had been thinking that over and over. He hated how something so simple as someone else’s hate had hurt him. It had frightened him. It had brought out the groveling dog, and Shisui hated himself for it. He heard the door open and shut. In a few minutes Itachi was at the door of the bedroom. Shisui sat up.

“Hey.”

Itachi had the pale, pinched look to his face. Shisui watched Itachi’s eyes sweep over him and then reached up an arm. Itachi’s face changed ever so slightly. His lips curled just a bit, and the shift of tension dropped so much weight from his eyes. He came to Shisui and knelt, putting his head in his shoulder, wrapping his arms around Shisui’s chest, and breathing in so deeply it sounded like he would burst a lung. Shisui held Itachi in return, feeling the wire tight back and leaning his face into Itachi’s hair.

“My day sucked,” Shisui admitted.

Itachi nodded and then pulled back. “ANBU gets their hearing with the Council for the next few days, and evidently they have prisoners they are going to question.” 

“How long?” Shisui asked. This could be the nerve breaking part. They would be made to wait.

Itachi snorted and finally pulled back more, but not far. “I was told the Council has many duties to attend to, and that I should be patient and grateful they have spent so much time on me.”

“They have because they are fucking terrified that you have a brain.” Shisui cupped Itachi’s jaw. He loved the way it fit into his hands, and the way Itachi leaned his weight into Shisui’s hands. Shisui kissed Itachi’s forehead.

“I’m still not used to you in this.” Shisui tugged at the flack vest. “You look better in black.”

“Hunter green isn’t my color?” Itachi asked softly. He sighed. “We need food.”

“Already did. That’s why today sucks. Anko talked me into going into the store down the way,” Shisui jerked his head. Itachi closed his eyes in a silent wince and grimace.

“Shisui.”

“Oh yeah. It was fun,” Shisui made a soft noise. This time Itachi kissed his lips. Softer, but he went back to leaning into Shisui in a way that spoke of exhaustion. 

Itachi sighed and shifted. “Why do we have so many pillows now?”

“Anko says it’s a…” Shisui started counting on his fingers. “Late birthday, happy independence/you’re fucking your best friend/whatever else gift. I went ahead and washed everything, but the heavier blankets are still drying.” Itachi just raised an eyebrow. Shisui shrugged. The pillows were mostly for Shisui’s comfort. Itachi shrugged out of the vest and pulled off the headband. He tossed them to the side, and Shisui watched in amusement as Itachi shuffled them around and then, with the dramatics of a child, flopped down on top of them.

“Good night,” Itachi mumbled into the pillows.

Shisui looked at the smooth sliver of skin on Itachi's back. He set one finger in the dip of Itachi's spine, and then slid his hand up the man's back. Itachi's loose shirt bunched up to his shoulder blades, revealing the smooth, muscled expanse. No scars. With everything else Shisui had yet to let himself indulge in same baser fantasies, but the sight of Itachi's naked back sparked some. It helped that Shisui was about five different kinds of high, which made it harder to worry.  
       
It raised the very important question of if Shisui could take Itachi, which he could, how would be do it? The understood thought underlining this idea was that, eventually, they would both have each other in whatever way either of them wanted, but the first time was significant. It didn't have to be _perfect_ , but Shisui had some kind of reputation to upkeep.

“Are you going to lie down?” Itachi asked with a yawn.

“I’m busy.” This was kind of the highlight of his day.  
     
"What're you busy doing?" Itachi rolled the words together in a sleepy slur.  
      
"I am admiring your back," Shisui admitted.  
      
"You have seen my back before," Itachi pointed out.  
      
"...let's just say previous sightings were not accompanied by the thoughts I'm having now." Shisui ran his hand back up Itachi's back. "Or if they were there was a lot of guilt involved."  
      
"So I should have taken Anko up on her offer of a kink primer? I thought I had some time before you felt well enough," Itachi murmured the words. Shisui choked, pressing his hand into the small of Itachi's back.  
      
"I'm not....it's not like I have outrageous kinks. Anko does, and I don't mind them..." Shisui rubbed Itachi's back, kind of like petting a cat. Shisui stopped, realizing this was something important. "I've never really sat down and had fantasies about people I actually intended to carry out. It's always just been knock back some drinks, find the partner of the week, and let them do what they want." Shisui pulled one finger up Itachi's spine. "Or I'd be guilty, because how could I endanger someone with being intimate with me?"  
       
"Is that why you drank?" Itachi asked.  
       
"Sometimes. Sometimes it was just everything in my head felt to angry and tight. Drinking got things loose again. Getting fucked..." Shisui paused, not sure how deeply he wanted to go into this, He giggled at the innuendo and had a rising moment of panic. He should not be touching Itachi like this. They were transgressing. They were going to be in trouble. Shisui would get them both punished because he couldn't keep it in his pants. Shisui swallowed the panic.  
       
"What are you thinking about doing?" Itachi asked, rolling over. He looked exhausted, but Shisui smiled. He also flushed.  
       
"Positions," Shisui admitted. "And sex." He still really wanted to go down on Itachi next time Itachi felt inclined. There had been too many meetings and sleeping since the...uh...bathroom incident to really get into anything.  
      
"Do you just jump right into it like that?" Itachi asked. He didn't smile, but he had this pleased curve around his lips that suggested he liked the topic.  
       
"I personally have only had one night stands and flings, Itachi. There is no universally agreed on step-by-step program for sexing up your chosen partner, so you have to make it up as you go along." Shisui poked Itachi's nose, shifting to get his leg more comfortable. He sobered. "And we don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'm just...indulging in thought exercises."  
       
"Do you still think I'm not attracted to you?" Itachi had put a casual hand on Shisui's thigh--but the missing leg so it was less sexy, more supportive.  
       
"I'm saying there's a difference between physical intimacy and sex. Like, you can love someone and want to be physical close with them, even skin to skin, but you may not necessarily want to have sex with them. Or need to have sex with them to feel close to them." Once in a while it was nice to just be held, Shisui had to admit.  
       
"So we should take things slow because I might not know what I want? Or because you're still afraid of Konoha coming down on us?" Itachi stayed prone and relaxed, eyes on Shisui's face.  
       
"This is don't feel like you have to have sex with me to prove a point or because I want it." Shisui shifted again, grimacing as his leg throbbed. “Or to stick it to Konoha. You should do what you feel comfortable doing, and what you want to do.” Shisui saw the speculative look in Itachi’s eyes and backtracked. “Within reason and with your partner’s consent.”  
        
“So what exactly is within reason?” Itachi asked with devious curiosity. Shisui grimaced, but the throbbing in his leg had reached a fevered pitch, low and hard and incessant. He twisted around, lying down beside Itachi. Itachi sat up and arranged the pillows for Shisui's leg, grabbing the chakra activated cold pack and applying it.  
       
Itachi glanced at Shisui as he smoothed the pad down, still devious. “So what positions were you considering?”  
      
Shisui felt his face go hot. “One where I don’t have to look at your face. You probably make weird faces.” Actually the thought of Itachi’s face in the act undid Shisui at a basic level and he sort of wanted to last longer than five minutes first time out the the gate.  
       
Itachi nodded, as if seriously considering the suggestions. "Could you do it from that position without your leg?" Itachi asked. Shisui felt his face heating, mind happily supplying "doing it from that position imagery." Shisui put a hand over his face.  
       
“Don’t bring logic into my fantasies,” Shisui mumbled. He had forgotten the leg. The lack of leg.  
      
“I’d prefer a practical plan,” Itachi replied dryly.  
      
Shisui lifted his arm. “Are you worried about hurting me? Or me hurting myself?”  
      
Itachi motioned to Shisui’s leg. “It’s close to...it seems in danger of being bumped. During.”  
       
“You’re saying my stump is close to my dick and there’s a lot of leg movement in sex that might inadvertently lead to me bashing my stump into something,” Shisui offered helpfully. He really got why Itachi enjoyed flustering him, because he loved the pink on Itachi’s ears and the way he looked annoyed, embarrassed, and excited. “And implying you’re interested in sex happening sooner rather than later?”  
       
Itachi got a little redder. Yes. Shisui liked that. Itachi had also absently begun stroking his fingers over Shisui’s lower stomach with interesting effect.  “So what are _your_ fantasies?” Itachi looked like he wanted a cup of tea to hide behind. He looked away. He bit his lower lip.  
       
Shisui decided to be kind and break it down. “Simpler question: do you want to top or bottom?”  
       
Itachi looked surprised. “I assumed you would be-” Some vague hand motion. “-Because you know what you’re doing.”  
       
“The mechanics are pretty basic.” Shisui flushed as Itachi gave him a jaundiced look. Shisui had to admit he’d had the same assumptions, or just the desire to have Itachi pinned. Maybe that was because he wanted to have some control in the situation Itachi had orchestrated.  
       
“I am very much aware of the mechanics of sex.” Itachi’s expression said he did not; on any level appreciate being treated like a child in this arena.  
        
“Oh? _Very much aware?_ Did you read those awful pornos over Kakashi’s shoulders?” Shisui countered. Itachi’s face went an even deeper shade, and he looked away. That was shame.  
       
“It was hazing.” Itachi was still not looking at Shisui. “And you see things when you’re hiding out waiting to murder people,” Itachi added more wryly. “The places ANBU prefer are also the places trysting lovers prefer.” Every shinobi had their “and then this couple started fucking” story to share.  
      
“What was hazing?” Shisui tried not to sound worried or shift his body language. It was like trying not to spook a wild animal. Itachi rarely spoke of anything he did in ANBU. Missions, yes, but the other details he tended to keep to himself.  
      
Itachi kept looking away. “They set me to follow you.” Shisui felt his own face heating along with Itachi’s.  
      
“It wasn’t.” Shisui didn’t think his face could get hotter. Why did it seem so much more fucked up that they would set Itachi to watch Shisui during sex? “You didn’t…”  
        
“I was being observed, and I hadn’t been in ANBU long,” Itachi looked even more uncomfortable.  
       
“Anko?” At least Anko had always treated Shisui with some dignity, so it wasn’t as bad. Shisui didn’t think Itachi could get more red. “Shit.” Shisui covered his face.  
      

“It was a unique way to figure out you’re attracted to someone,” Itachi admitted. Shisui made a dying noise. Of course every part of their lives needed ANBU’s taint. Of course, if everyone thought they were something sexual going on between them, having Itachi watch Shisui and Anko going at it would be painful for Itachi.  
      
“She…” Itachi stopped. Shisui peered through his fingers as Itachi gave his head a little shake. “It seemed like something you should know.”  
       
“I’m sorry.” Shisui did and didn’t want to ask what exactly he and Anko had been doing, because variety was often the name of the game. Had it been something gentle? Something one step from a fight? Oh dear gods, had it been some kinky role play? Light torture?  
       
“I shouldn’t have spied on something like that, no matter the consequences,” Itachi went on. Shisui propped himself up on an elbow.  
      
“Don’t apologize for something they did.” It still unsettled Shisui deeply, but maybe it wasn’t as bad as he thought it must be. Itachi had been made to watch Shisui’s finger broken after Itachi had busted a bully’s nose for trying to lock Itachi in a cabinet. Did having to watch Shisui and Anko fuck--something Shisui did of his own free choice and enjoyed--compare?  
       
Itachi had  evidently gotten tired of the subject. In a motion as graceful as anything Itachi did, he swung his leg over Shisui and straddled him. Shisui froze. Itachi looked bemused, then speculative. “What about this?”  
      
“This what?” Shisui managed to ask. Itachi almost rolled his eyes.  
      
“This position. You won’t have to move as much, right?” Itachi cocked his head, indulgently waiting for Shisui’s mind to catch up.  
       
Shisui had an instant and intensely vivid image of Itachi, sans clothing, hair down, moving in a particularly rhythmic manner, and clapped his hands back over his face. “Maybe.” Itachi leaned forward, and kissed what parts of Shisui’s lips he could reach. Shisui peaked through his fingers, and Itachi languidly rolled down to lie on Shisui.  
      
“How do you look so tiny but weigh so much?” Shisui demanded. Itachi looked pleased and rested his forehead against Shisui’s neck.  
       
“But, you know, next time you’re in the mood…” Shisui trailed his hands up Itachi’s spine, under his shirt. Itachi made a soft hum of consent. “I want to go down on you.” Itachi seemed to stop breathing. “It seems like the best way to keep my stump out of danger. If that’s a solid enough plan for you.”

“....was that an innuendo?” Itachi shifted to slide down beside Shisui, propping himself up on an elbow.

“It’s soliciting. I’m saying anytime you would like your dick in my mouth I’m game. Except right now, because I’m really tired and drugged,” Shisui admitted. Itachi slid back down, grabbing a pillow and wadding it up into his head. The way he watched Shisui made him slightly uncomfortable, mostly sad.

Itachi closed his eyes. “Do I need to file a formal request, or is this a more spur of the moment decision?”

“Please.” Shisui rolled over, putting his forehead to Itachi’s. Itachi automatically reached down, adjusting his leg and pillow to support Shisui’s injury. “Submit a formal request so I can frame it.” Itachi smiled just a little too. This time Shisui kissed him, and he cared much less about what the strangers in the street thought about him.


	24. 20. Lull

The day Shisui got fitted for his prosthetic was the day after it was decided Itachi and Shisui did not merit a twenty-four hour guarding. Itachi knew they were now under some kind of watch, but the watch had to be circumspect enough Itachi could thwart some of it. He had already told three of their watchers they should have received failing surveillance scores. Some were ANBU, he had no doubt. Others were “volunteers” as it were.

Itachi walked with Shisui to get his prosthetic fitted. Walking down the street together was a strangely liberating experience after everything, but also nerve wracking. Itachi still felt balanced on the edge of a panic attack most moments, but he would not take back any of his steps or admit defeat. However, they ran into a problem.

Itachi's presence made the medic nervous.

Itachi's presence made the entire hospital staff nervous.

Itachi eventually went outside so Shisui could get a proper lecture on his fake leg and how long to wear it and everything like that. Itachi had gone back to wearing black, but he did wear a flak vest and headband. Shisui had braided Itachi's hair that morning in a crown around his head. Shisui had lamented his inability to put flowers in Itachi's hair.

 _"Just a flower crown."_ Shisui has said that after a few moments of looking at Itachi's face. The memory made Itachi's heart flutter, but the feeling swept too close to anxiety to be pleasant. Itachi had not yet had a panic attack, but that only made him feel more like panicking. Ever since the bathroom Itachi would catch Shisui looking at him with a new edge to his expression. It didn’t happen all the time, but Itachi wondered if that was the difference between loving someone and desiring them.

Itachi had to wait outside the hospital, in the relative silence of a large tree, hoping Shisui would be okay.

"Itachi-san!"

Itachi's entire body jerked tight at the shout and he whipped his head around and down. Naruto waved from below him. All of Team 7 looked up at him. Itachi considered staying where he was. He had avoided Shisui’s team as much as possible due to Sasuke. Also due to they were young and Itachi did not mingle with anyone younger than himself.

"Are you here with Shisui-sensei!" Naruto yelled up. People were turning to stare. Naruto obviously expected an answer. Itachi wasn't sure what kind of noise would come out of his mouth is he tried to shout. He didn’t shout. He hadn’t screamed since he was in the single digits. Itachi considered them children as he leaned out over his branch. Naruto took a huge breath, and Itachi translocated down.

Naruto screamed as Itachi landed, and Sasuke and Sakura jumped back into defensive positions.

Itachi waited a moment for his heart to stop pounding as they all stared at each other. Itachi cleared his throat. "I can see how effective Shisui's training has been."

"That was rude," Naruto insisted.

"That was _fast_ ," Sakura corrected. "How did you do it so quickly?" Sasuke's Sharingan was activated, and he watched Itachi with a guilty hunger. Itachi smiled a fraction at him. Sasuke looked away.

 _Once I held you when no one else could get you to fall asleep._ Itachi pushed that thought away and looked back to Sakura and Naruto. He had a mask over his face, as he usually did in public. It smelled like Shisui, though less strongly than usual. It smelled oddly artificial after getting the scent from Shisui's skin so often.

"I'm fast," Itachi explained. He had always been so.

Naruto crossed his arms. "Are you faster than Shisui-sensei?"

"In some areas, yes." Itachi leaned back against the large tree. He could handle a casual conversation with gennin until Shisui came out.

"What does that mean?" Naruto asked, nose wrinkling. Itachi hadn't been around anyone so emotive since...he didn't even know when. Ever? It honestly looked like an act.

"It means my hand signs and chakra manipulation are faster, but Shisui runs faster and moves faster in a fight. It evens out," Itachi assumed, anyway.

"Are you stronger than Shisui-sensei?" Naruto crossed his arms. Sakura hissed something, but she looked at Itachi expectantly. Likely they all wanted to know how their sensei stacked up against the fearsome ANBU.

"Likely. We haven't sparred in a few years, so I don't know." It just seemed like Itachi must have passed Shisui by now.

Naruto kept on. "Why not?"

Itachi didn't have an answer for that. "We've been busy."

"You're both supposed to stay in Konoha, right? That's what Kakashi-sensei said anyway. You should spar," Naruto grinned. "I bet Shisui-sensei can kick your ass."

"Shisui-sensei just lost a leg, idiot," Sasuke muttered. Naruto deflated just a fraction and then whipped around to glare at Sasuke.

"He's getting a new leg. He'll be just as good as he used to be," The boy snapped.

"He won't, but we should still train together." There would be no reason not to. Itachi wouldn't trust many other people with Shisui's welfare. It might be fun.

"Wouldn't that be dangerous for him?" Sakura asked hesitantly. She looked at Itachi as if she had a notion of what he was. Itachi smiled behind his mask.

"I don't have many people I could trust to help him regain his strength," Itachi admitted. "Anko would be too rough and no one else would likely volunteer."

"We will!" Naruto shoved a hand into the air.

"You're more likely than I am to hurt him," Itachi pointed out. "You're unpredictable, and Shisui won't play it safe since you're gennin. If I’m going to hurt him, I’ll likely realize that before I do and be able to minimize the damage. You three would not."

Naruto puffed out his cheeks. He didn't like it, but he didn't fight it. "But can we watch?"

"Watch what?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. Itachi didn't think anyone had ever rolled their eyes at him. It offended him. Or amused him. Could he be bother offended and amused? Sakura looked like she wanted to laugh. Sasuke just looked disappointed.

"You and Shisui-sensei fighting," Naruto clarified.

"We aren't going to fight." Itachi didn't think he'd ever regret not sparring with Shisui. It had never crossed his mind it could be an option after he'd joined ANBU. Shisui had been his main training partner until then. Kakashi had taken over after that. Shisui would not have come down into ANBU to spar with Itachi, and Itachi didn't know if they would have been allowed. They should have tried.

"You'll have to ask Shisui if he wants you there," Itachi added. He lapsed into silence more than most people during conversations. It happened less with Shisui, but Shisui probably read those silences better than most people understood Itachi's words.

 _I am a half formed human._ The thought had been clinging to Itachi's mind the past few days. He did not function like most people--even war scarred ninja. He stood apart even from Shisui, stunted in tasks that did not involve murder. He could play at politics because he had been steeped in them from birth, but normal, casual conversations were far harder. They didn't have a goal or points or line up line bullet points in his mind.

"Why wouldn't he? He's supposed to be teaching us, and he said he would, but he hasn't," Naruto spoke quickly. Rapid fire words vomiting out from his mouth. Did he speak so easily because words had never cost him anything? 

"He got his leg cut off," Sakura pointed out. "He's been healing, Naruto. That takes time." Naruto sniffed as if he didn't think this was a good reason, honestly. 

"So? We were supposed to study stuff, but he could teach us other stuff. He taught us all the time when his leg was broken," Naruto's tone conveyed Sakura was committing high treason by doubting Shisui there.

Itachi glanced at Sasuke, and Sasuke jerked his eyes away. How much did he know and how much did he guess? Itachi say everything of his parents is Sasuke, but did Sasuke see himself in Itachi? He had to wonder if he had any older siblings among the Dogs. Shisui looked nothing like Sasuke. Somehow Itachi and Sasuke had the same fall of bangs, though Sasuke’s were shorter and looked more like no one had bothered to trim his hair.

Did his foster parents take good care of him? Did they know they had the heir to the Uchiha clan in their house? What would change if everyone knew--or if everyone could acknowledge that?

"Hey now, what's this?"

Shisui's exclamation soothed the tension Itachi didn't know he'd been feeling. Every head turned to look at him. Shisui walked stiffly, but he walked. He moved so carefully, and his knee bent mechanically. There was no seamless motion of flesh and bone. Just the struggle of an artificial limb.

Granted, as a ninja Shisui had far more options than a civilian amputee, and his chakra control allowed him more choices still. It would not be his leg. It would always be something else. It would always be a weakness.

Team 7 had dissolved from their huddle around Itachi and descended on Shisui with loud exclamations. Shisui met those with cutting answers and ill tempered bluster. He cajoled them and scolded them, and then he looked at Itachi. The shift of expression startled Itachi. The raw feeling of eyes meeting.

 _"Just a flower crown and nothing else."_ Under the mask, Itachi felt his cheeks heat. He ducked his head, but caught the slight smirk Shisui sent him. Shisui's cheeks were pink as well. Itachi felt foolish. _So_ foolish, but oddly giddy and light. _You saw him fifteen minutes ago._ Itachi told himself as he walked closer to Shisui. He had touched Shisui this morning and woken up in the same bed as him. Weeks ago he couldn’t even have imagined this much contact would be possible.

"I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to be around kids still," Shisui scolded, but he kept grinning. For a moment, Itachi thought Shisui might kiss him right there in front of everyone. Itachi dropped his eyes. to Shisui's collarbones.

"They're yours."

Shisui wrinkled his nose. "That doesn't make them less likely to give you a panic attack." Shisui stepped closer, wobbling a little. Itachi reached out to steady him. Shisui slapped his fingers.

"Hands off. I'm learning." Shisui smiled as he said it and winked. Some of the gruff sensei act seem to be transferring to Itachi. Itachi just looked at Shisui, until the flush started coming back into Shisui’s face.

"Ne, Shisui-sensei, Shisui-sensei, who's stronger? You or Itachi-san?" Naruto demanded as he tugged on Shisui's sleeve to get his attention.

"What?" Shisui snapped, but he didn't need to question restated. He scowled. "Until someone chopped off my leg, we were pretty even."

"Were we?" Itachi cocked his head.

"Oh, you think you're already better than I am?" Shisui challenged and then shrugged. "Your Sharingan is stronger, but you're slower than me and you don't have as much power as I do. In a straight up fight I'd win--or I would have..."

"Shisui, you haven't seen me fight since I was thirteen," Itachi shook his head. "There's no way you can..." _Shisui is faster than me._ Itachi had said, but he had forgotten _how_ fast. Shisui's hand knotted up into his shirt, Shisui's face touching Itachi's, and Itachi remembered Shisui always downplayed his skills. He did it so well, he could even fool Itachi.

"....ow." Shisui leaned back, hand still fisted in Itachi's shirt. "Did you have to stab me?"

"You startled me." Itachi flipped the kunai back up his sleeve. He hadn't stabbed Shisui hard. It had barely cut skin before Itachi had pulled back.

"You're on edge." Shisui still didn't let go. "Learn anything, kids?"

The gennin stood agape. "He stabbed you." Naruto sounded aghast.

"Well, it's not the first time." Shisui shrugged, a roll of his shoulder as he began to move away. Itachi ducked his head, darting in, brushing lips on Shisui's cheek before turned away to the group of children. Sakura had blushed.

"What else did you learn?" Shisui asked.

"Don't grab high class ninja when they aren't expecting it?" Itachi offered.

"Thank you 'children'." Shisui shook his head. "Sasuke?"

"Neither of you activated the Sharingan," Sasuke said. His own eyes were red. Itachi remembered when his eyes went scralet at the least provocation.

"No. We don't activate the Sharingan in Konoha," Itachi explained.

"You did, when you were having a panic attack," Naruto pointed out. Sasuke nodded. Itachi remembered meeting his eyes. He had the imagine of Sasuke’s Sharingan perfectly captured in his mind now until the day he died.

"Yes. I wasn't in control then. You're all very lucky no one was hurt--or Kakashi was," Itachi began, but Naruto cut him off.

"Are you stronger than Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto demanded.

"Yes." Itachi wondered how many more people he would have to rank himself against. Mostly he had to assume he could take Kakashi. He had been very close when ANBU had separated them.

"Well, who _is_ stronger than you?" Naruto demanded.

"No one you would know or that I've fought against lately." Itachi felt intensely uncomfortable suddenly. He shouldn't brag, but wasn't it the truth? He had always been told he was good. Good didn't mean invulnerable, but it did mean good.

"So to be the strongest I have to beat you," Naruto rubbed his whiskered face, staring at Itachi with a new intensity. “I’m going to be the Hokage.”

"It would be a start if you want to be Hokage." Itachi flinched as Shisui threw an arm around his shoulders.

"Enough, enough, you kids wanted to see me kick the strongest ninja in Konoha's ass?" Shisui asked, grinning viciously at Team 7. Naruto seemed to explode with delight. Sakura's green eyes were intense. Sasuke's Sharingan turned.

Itachi sighed.

And smiled.  
~  
"There. Now it's fair." Shisui smiled. Itachi suspected he might be drugged. He seemed very cheerful.

Itachi tested the rope that bound his hands behind his back. He raised an eyebrow at Shisui. "And are you going to be using jutsu?"

"Of course. Surely you can still make signs. You just can't use your arms," Shisui kept smiling. Itachi didn't know one could be suddenly smitten with someone they had been in love with for years but utterly terrified as well. This was wrong. They would be punished. It would be used against them.

But Itachi was standing in a field with Shisui and Team 7, with heavy summer air around them and green grass under their feet. Shisui had opted to go back to his crutches, as he was more used to them than the leg. Team 7 had taken the jointed prosthetic for examination as soon as it was off Shisui's body, and now Naruto clutched it to his shoulder. All eyes were on Itachi and Shisui.

"Maybe if I want to dislocate my fingers..." Itachi raised another eyebrow at Shisui.

"Not your precious fingers," Shisui winked again. Itachi shifted his hips and brought his foot up for a kick aimed at Shisui's chin. Shisui folded back just enough to dodge and then tried to sweep Itachi's legs out from under him with a crutch. Itachi flipped back, landing on his feet and dodging to the side as Shisui blew a fireball at him. The goal would be to keep Itachi at a distance.

The ground under Itachi's feet turned to mud and then water, freezing rapidly around Itachi's ankles.

"Oh no, you got me," Itachi said in a deadpan. "You win."

"You're _awful_." Shisui still kept his distance. He expected a trap.

The ground below Shisui erupted into crows. Itachi yanked himself free of the ice, charging Shisui while he was off balance. Itachi aimed a kick at Shisui's knee. He had to abort the attack when Shisui twisted and almost broke Itachi's nose. Itachi had been using little chakra, but Shisui was not holding back. Itachi glanced up and saw red eyes pinning him almost to the ground.

 _We don’t activate the Sharingan in Konhoa._ Shisui had lectured Itachi on that. _Now that you can control it, you can only use it on missions._ Time were changing, and Shisui adapted as quickly as he always had.

"Try harder," Shisui suggested--demanded, and then his crutch nearly split Itachi's skull. Itachi rolled away, coming to his feet and jumping away. Retreating would be defeat, so he dodged around Shisui and tried to kick him again. Shisui continued to dodge, twisting and spinning and somehow always half a step ahead of Itachi--but he had the Sharingan activated. He could _see_ , and Itachi was half blind.

Shisui grabbed Itachi's shirt and threw him to the ground. Itachi rolled up and over easily, twisting to kick at Shisui again. this time Itachi caught him in the stomach. Shisui grunted and staggered back, off balance. Itachi pressed the advantage, and Shisui exploded in boiling steam and mist. Itachi ran. He heard Shisui hit the ground--a heavy noise that alarmed Itachi, but it could be a trick.

Shisui's entire weight landed on Itachi's left shoulder. Shisui's hand fisted in Itachi's hair, catching easily in the tight braid. They went down. Itachi threw himself back and landed on Shisui. The impact didn't make Shisui falter, and his arms locked around Itachi's throat.

"I--" Shisui started, but it turned into a yelp as Itachi wrenched himself up, ending up with Shisui clinging to his back. But the arm around his neck had jerked into the scar around Itachi's throat, and he began to cough. Shisui immediately released the hold, sliding down Itachi's back and to the ground as Itachi bent forward, coughing hard. Shisui slapped him unhelpfully on the back.

"Sorry."

"Shisui-sensei wins!" Naruto pumped the leg in the air.

"No, he didn't activate his Sharingan," Sasuke jerked his head at Itachi. Itachi coughed again, hard enough he thought he would vomit. Shisui thumped Itachi on the back. Itachi kicked his knee and Shisui started to fall, and then turned it into a backflip. Itachi followed, yanking Shisui's ankle out from under him with an ankle. Shisui barely managed to flip back to his foot, and Itachi neatly swept that out from under him.

Instead of trying to catch himself, Shisui tried to brain Itachi with his crutch. Itachi dodged. Shisui hit the ground and rolled backwards into a crouch, wobbling. Itachi kicked him lightly in the chest. Shisui fell back onto his ass.

Sakura seemed to be trying to explain to Naruto that Shisui and Itachi were not seriously fighting. Shisui had deactivated his Sharingan.

"Help me up," Shisui held out a hand and stopped. 

"Do you want to use my hair as a hand hold again?" Itachi asked. His hands were still tied behind his back.

Shisui winced. "Okay, that was uncalled for and I apologize. I’ll take hair pulling off the list." He started to lever himself up. Itachi twitched his fingers and freed himself from the restraints, offering Shisui a hand. Shisui gaped for a moment and then scowled. It shifted to a grin as Itachi pulled him to his feet. Itachi tensed, waiting for a blow or a trick, but Shisui just settled back. Itachi handed him the crutch.

"I really regret not doing this before I lost a leg," Shisui admitted.

"We'll just assume you could have taken me handily with the leg," Itachi suggested.

"You're a _brat,_ " Shisui groused before lowering his tone. "But I love you. For some reason."

"Lack of options," Itachi suggested in the same low tone, head turned away from the children.

"Point, but not entirely valid," Shisui bumped into Itachi as he turned around. "Come on. You can help me analyze the fight with the children." Itachi turned and found Kakashi had decided to join them on the ground. He had been in the trees from the start of the fight.

“Do you think you’re properly warmed up now?” Kakashi asked as they came closer. Shisui blinked, glancing at Itachi. Itachi’s eyes swept the area. They had gathered a few extra watchers. Itachi pushed back the hair Shisui had pulled loose. No one had gotten close enough to grab his hair since he was a child.

“Itachi-san asked me to spar with him,” Kakashi went on. Itachi had never done that. “I thought it would be an educational experience.” Kakashi nodded his head to Team 7. Itachi took his other meaning and Shisui nodded.

“With you two, I doubt they’ll be able to pick much up,” Shisui almost drawled. He tugged on Itachi’s hair. “But you should tie that up first.”

“Perhaps you shouldn’t fight so dirty.” Itachi suggested. 

“I needed all the advantage I could get.” Shisui smiled and stepped back. He whipped Itachi’s hair out of the intricate crown braids and into a single braid down Itachi’s back. Itachi wondered if Kaksahi taught their fooling around had been too much like tipping their hand, and the sparring was his way of establishing Itachi’s strength. Maybe he had been planning something like this for a while?

“I’m interested in seeing how you’ve grown, Itachi-san,” Kakashi mused as he stepped by Itachi.

“Surely not enough to take you down, Kakashi-san,” Itachi responded.

“Done,” Shisui flipped Itachi’s braid over his shoulder and crutched over to the children clustered to the side. “Naruto, give me my damn leg back.”

Itachi turned away and tuned out the squabbles behind them. “Do you want any limitations?”

“Would you consider tying your hands behind your back again?” Kakashi asked, tucking his orange book away.

Itachi almost smiled. Kakashi adjusted his eyepatch. “Don’t kill the kids in the crossfire.”

“Shisui will protect them,” Itachi dismissed the concern. He looked at Kakashi, and he needed no more signal than that. In a blur of hand motions, Itachi ripped the ground up, creating a landscape of boulders around them. A dog latched onto Itachi’s calf, one on his thigh--Itachi vanished across the field, eyes burning as they scraped the landscape.

Kakashi had a cultured dignity to his fighting style. Itachi had finesse, but he had brutal terror driving him. Every fight carried the edge of a brawl for Itachi. Every fight awakened the terrified child that made up his core, and Kakashi knew it. Itachi didn’t even bother to hold back. He drove himself forward, pulling chakra and weaving his hands through signs faster than thought.

Kakashi twisted, dodging the screaming ball of lightning Itachi had called up. He launching his own chidori at Itachi’s head. Itachi let the attack hit, exploding into crows that dove at Kakashi, aiming for his eyes but quickly dispelled with a shock of lightning. Itachi had no chance of hiding with the ninken on the field, and he swept back in for another attack. Kakashi blocked, throwing Itachi bodily through the air as Kakashi had to dodge a clone.

Itachi dodged the ninken trying to grab his ankles, and threw a straight punch at Kakashi. Kakashi slid to the side easily, but surprised that Itachi had come at him that way. Itachi swung back to Kakashi. Itachi wasn’t known for his physical prowess. Uchiha and Sharingan meant trickery and illusions. It did not mean brute strength and speed. Since this was supposed to be a show, Itachi decided to make it unexpected.

But Kakashi’s return blows were going to leave bruises even when blocked. He had a body like Shisui’s--made of hard steel and honed to a deadly edge. Itachi’s bones ached when he blocked, and his entire body sang with adrenaline. He wouldn’t die, but he would win. This was not the playful spar with Shisui, more flirt than fight. This was a test, and Itachi fully intended to show Kakashi he had grown. He had learned.

He could take on whatever came for himself and Shisui without any hesitation or backup.

He was indeed a perfect monster of murder, and he had slipped the chains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the nothing chapter and the wait. I've got a new laptop, which will hopefully mean more writing time without fighting the old dinosaur's lag.


	25. 20.5 Interlude:Babble

"Did you really...?" Shisui leaned around the doorframe and held up a piece of paper. Itachi had tucked the paper into Shisui's flak vest that morning, which had been a bad idea. Itachi had had all day to obsess and stress over that piece of paper and his carefully printed words. Had it been too pedantic? What if Shisui were tired that night? Would it come off as demanding? Was Itachi supposed to be demanding?

"That is what you said to do," Itachi pointed out His stomach wriggled unpleasantly.

"I didn't think you would actually..." Shisui shook his head. "This is a little Academy-esque."

"Did you often get solicited for sexual favors in the Academy?" Itachi asked, raising an eyebrow. He’d never been to the Academy.

"Well, no, but.." Shisui waved the paper and pointed at Itachi. "You."

"I act like an Academy student?" Itachi guessed. 

"You need to stop babbling nonsense darling," Shisui waved the paper in Itachi's direction. "...how long has this been in my pocket?"

"Since this morning."

"Good, I thought I might have missed it..." Shisui grinned. "I wouldn't want you to think I was ignoring your advances. Even juvenile paper advances."

"It's a very official paper advance, and you promised to frame it. _You_ need to stop babbling," Itachi countered, standing to take the paper from Shisui's fingers. Shisui caught Itachi's fingers.

"Is now a good time, or did I kill the mood with my nonsensical babbling?" Shisui let Itachi's fingers close on the paper and ran his fingers up Itachi's arm. Goosebumps rose and Itachi shivered. He shook his head.

"Now is an acceptable time." Itachi tried to keep his tone passive. Shisui's half grin made his heart jump. It seemed young and full. A Shisui barely glimpsed. 

"In here?" Shisui asked, motioning to the small space of the bedroom behind Itachi. "Or is the bathroom going to be the official sexual encounter spot?"

Itachi shook his head. "Here is fine?” It trailed into a question as Itachi watched Shisui. Shisui nodded and glanced around the room, frowning until his eyes lit up and he cupped Itachi's arm. 

"Okay, sit over here..." Shisui pushed Itachi towards the chest that held most of their clothes. He picked a pillow or three and brought it over with them over with them. Shisui tossed the pillow to the ground in front of the chest. Itachi felt his anxiety rising up in his throat as he turned to look at Shisui. His calves were backed into the chest.

Shisui smiled and cupped Itachi's jaw. "Breathe, love. I'm not going to bite anything off." Before Itachi could respond Shisui kissed him. Shisui kissed Itachi differently. The first few times now felt restrained compared to these. These made Itachi feel less in control, more like Shisui knew what he was doing and Itachi had no idea. That became more and more obvious. With Shisui, he _wanted_ in a way he never had before, but exactly what he wanted remained nebulous. Touch. Intimacy.

This contact only made him hungrier. Shisui's lips were open, heavy, drowning. Shisui's hands slid down Itachi's hips, holding there for a second before Shisui deftly undid the ties of Itachi's pants without breaking the kiss. Shisui slid his hands under Itachi's waistband and pushing down without preamble. Sliding Itachi's pants down in one easy motion and Itachi had to wonder how many times he had done this before? How many people had felt Shisui's hands on their thighs and hips like this? Did they all feel the same shivering rush of heat Itachi did?

Last time Itachi had stayed clothed, wet but unexposed. Shisui hadn't touched Itachi's shirt yet, but Itachi still felt uncomfortably vulnerable. He had assumed being so with Shisui would be liberating, not nerve wracking. Shisui kept kissing Itachi as his hands ran back up and around to Itachi's back. He pulled Itachi into him--gut to gut, hip to hip. The contact created an unexpected shock of raw electricity. As Itachi tensed, Shisui's hold relaxed, allowing for space between them. Itachi looked at Shisui's shoulder, trying to get his breathing under control. Control. He always had control.

"Should I just get on with it?" Shisui asked, the low tone in his voice one Itachi had never heard before. It had a kind of desperate rasp that prickled Itachi’s spine. Itachi swallowed and nodded. He was prepared for one act, and had not considered everything that might lead up to it. Shisui kissed Itachi's jaw and pulled off his underwear now.

"You need to sit," Shisui murmured. "Since I've only got one knee." Itachi slowly did so as Shisui shuffled his pillows into order before lowering himself down with hands braced on Itachi's thighs. Shisui settled on his knee, face close to Itachi's but not touching.

"Keep breathing." The softest of prompts. "In and out. Slow it down, Itachi." Shisui's broad hands spread on the sides of Itachi's thighs. "I've got you." Itachi closed his eyes and tried. He followed the puff of Shisui's breath on his lips. "Better." Shisui kissed him again. Itachi kept his eyes closed and touched Shisui's jaw, running hands back into Shisui's hair.

Itachi's hands clenched as Shisui moved his hand over and in, barely touching the base of him. 

"Ow." Shisui went still, hands on Itachi's hips again.

"Sorry." Itachi mumbled. He felt too hot. He felt his cheeks heating. entire face likely red as he pulled his hands back from Shisui's head

"I'll give you better warning next time," Shisui promised. Shisui did not look nervous. He did not show annoyance at Itachi’s flinching and tensing and rejection of the touch he’d demanded. Shisui look perfectly comfortable on his knee as he looked Itachi over. The look started at Itachi's bared thighs and slid up his body like a physical touch. Itachi's didn't know how...erect he was supposed to be. He was aroused, but. Itachi felt his face getting even hotter. His entire body felt on fire and prickling. Everything seemed like a mistake.

" _Fuck_ you're amazing," Shisui whispered. The crooked smile on his face turned ungaurded and wide. Itachi felt a jolt originating from low in his gut and a shiver raced up his spine. Shisui sank back and kissed the inside of Itachi's thigh, pressing his cool cheek to the hot flesh moments later. A nuzzle. The nip of teeth gentle on the inside of his thigh. Itachi had a very good idea of what he wanted now. That again. Shisui's _mouth_ on him. Anywhere and everywhere.

Shisui looked up at Itachi, cheek still pillowed on his thigh, and Itachi nodded. Shisui smiled again. This time when Shisui touched Itachi, he was ready. It happened softly, gently, a thumb sweeping up as Shisui's head went down. Itachi did not expect the kiss, filled with a gentle tenderness that put color to the breathy noise that escaped Itachi's lips. It sounded strangled and pathetic. Mewling and half formed and hesitant. It sounded like a lapse of control.

"Like that," Shisui breathed the words on Itachi's skin. He looked up, eyes all pupil. "Don't hold anything back." Shisui held Itachi's gaze and then lowered his mouth over Itachi. Itachi choked. He didn't think he could hold anything back if he tried. Every nerve in his body seemed to sing with heightened awareness. Every fragment of his being focussed on Shisui--his mouth and tongue and lips and hands.

 _I love you._ Itachi wanted to say over and over again, but his tongue betrayed him. His lips and lungs had their own ideas and compulsions, and Itachi, for once, gave in. He let his back unravel and leaned back against the wall. The sight of Shisui's hands on Itachi's hips and thighs--the darker skin against pale skin that never saw sun pulled at Itachi. The movement of Shisui’s head hypnotic.

This wasn't a moment he had ever imagined. He didn't know if that meant he had never wants this or he had never been allowed to _want_. There had only ever been Shisui, and Shisui had kept the door shut with iron resolve--no, with terror. Fear. 

Itachi's hips jerked up of their own accord, held down by Shisui's broad hands. Calluses pressed into Itachi’s skin. Shisui’s thumb drew circle on Itachi's skin, soothing to the consuming feeling of Shisui's mouth and tongue and lips. Itachi's hands dug into the lid of the chest. He saw the room. The open space. What had been escalating pleasure took half an instant to switch to anxiety and panic. Itachi closed his eyes and remember what Shisui had said. _Breathe. Slow it down._

The feelings were good. His heart was pounding even though he was standing still. They were normal. Even if his breathing was out of control. This was--it _was-_

"Stop." It came out before Itachi could really think about it. Shisui moved back instantly, lips and chin wet, only curious for a moment before his lips thinned. He knew. He could see it clearly. His hands were still on Itachi's hips. Itachi pushed himself off the chest. Shisui sat back and pulled Itachi into his lap without any other prompt. Itachi pushed his face into Shisui's neck. Itachi's thighs settled on Shisui's sides. The sweat felt tacky. His body quivered. Shisui made soft, soothing noise, arms around Itachi's back. 

The feeling began to slowly recede. A gentle hushing. The gradual silence of white noise as Shisui spoke in a soft, even tone.

"Sorry," Itachi muttered into Shisui's neck. He felt..broken. ANBU had been right. He wasn’t a person. He couldn’t even enjoy something like this.

"Don't apologize for that." Shisui's hands cupped the back of Itachi's head.

"Did you know this would happen?" 

"I had...considered it might. It’s emotional arousal, and it can be overwhelming and you're not drunk or high..." Shisui's thumbs rubbed into the pressure points at the back of Itachi's neck.

"And neurotic?"

"I was going to say paranoid and hyper vigilant and completely stressed out right now. We're both in constant survival mode, Itachi," Shisui pulled Itachi in closer. "If I hadn't been wasted I probably would have hurt someone first time out."

"You're just trying to make me feel better." Now that the panic was receding Itachi didn't feel _bad_ about what had happened. More frustrated. More _angry._ Letting people touch lead to getting hurt. Being anything but in control lead to danger. This was his _conditioning_.

"You caught me, but it's all true."

"I love you," Itachi mumurred, rubbing his face against Shisui's skin.

Shisui chuckled. "Me too."

Itachi scoffed. "I'm glad you love yourself."

Shisui snorted. He rubbed his hands up and down Itachi's back, drawing the tension to Itachi's spine and out. Itachi focussed on the smooth repetition. Soothing. Predictable.

"Okay..." Itachi lifted his head and leaned back against the chest. Shisui kissed the hollow of Itachi's throat. Slow, warm, and wet.

"Okay?" Shisui's voice still held the low rasp. Itachi let his eyes fall closed again, shivering. He nodded and managed a shaky kiss on Shisui's lips.

"I need more words." Shisui's hands splayed on Itachi's back, sliding down to the small of his back. "Coherent ones, or should I get some paper for you?"

Itachi pulled himself closer to Shisui. "I don't feel like I'm about to have a panic attack now."

"You can have a raincheck," Shisui assured Itachi softly. "You're always allowed to back out on me if you want to."

"Is _that_ an innuendo?" Itachi asked, equally soft.

"Maybe. I have a drop dead gorgeous guy sitting in my lap looking like a high class pin-up, so I'm not thinking too clearly. Everything's an innuendo right now." Another soft kiss on Itachi's jaw. "Do you want to stop?" A pause. "Do you need to?"

Itachi shook his head. He didn't know if the panic would return, but it seemed better now. Itachi let his forehead rest against Shisui's throat.

"Are you sure?"

"I'll tell you if I change my mind," Itachi promised. "Am I hurting your thigh?" Itachi ran his fingers up under Shisui's shirt. Distracting and soothing all at once.

"No." Shisui's hands ran down to cup Itachi's ass, which seemed perfect leverage for pulling Itachi closer. Itachi ran his hand up Shisui's chest as Shisui pulled him in.

"Or do you just like having me in your lap?" Itachi asked. He closed his eyes again. It made him feel calmer. Shisui kissed him and Itachi could feel the smile on his lips.

"You know my big secret," Shisui whispered. Itachi ran his hand back down.

"That secret?"

Shisui breathed in sharply, breath hitching before he moaned. Itachi felt the iron control in place to keep himself still. Itachi smiled and kissed Shisui's neck. "Don't hold anything back." He tried for Shisui's low, hungry rasp and didn't know if he hit it or not. Either way, Shisui's breath caught. His hips twitched.

"No more reading over Kakashi's shoulder for you," Shisui breathed as Itachi worked to free him from his pants. Itachi had been raised on body language. Picking out the tiny tells and motions of someone had been Itachi's means of survival, and he knew no one's body language like he knew Shisui's. Every twitch under his fingers, ever tense of muscle, every half breath giving out in a shaky sigh told Itachi everything he wanted to know.

"Such experience, have you done this before?" Shisui asked as he ran his hands up Itachi's thighs and then moved to help Itachi with his pants. Shisui did not touch suddenly. He dragged his hands from point to point and touched gradually. "Do you want to sit on the chest again?"

Itachi shook his head. "...Do people normally talk so much during sex?" Or kiss so much, Itachi should have added as Shisui kissed his jaw just below the ear. Itachi shivered, body curling forward. He liked that. He thought he liked it more than being kissed on the lips.

"Mmm, drunken one night stands did no--" Shisui lost the rest of the reply as Itachi touched him. His hips jerked, pulling Itachi in closer. _Yes, this, now._ Itachi pulled his hips into Shisui's getting a rough word, his thigh grabbed hard enough to bruise, Shisui's body pulled deliciously tight.

"Is this an acceptable change of plans?" Itachi asked, but Shisui's hand was already between them. Itachi shook his head. "Let me."

"You're awful," Shisui responded, his face transforming, bottom lip bitten as Itachi lined them up. "Do you know how hard it is not to touch you right now?" Itachi hummed softly in response. As hard as not touching Shisui was. As hard as Shisui's cock in his hand, against him, urging him on faster as the nerves in his spine spooled tighter and tighter and Itachi's mind started the clammer that he needed to calm down. He needed to distance himself from sensation and emotion before it took him over and caused a shut down. Control. He always had to be in control.

But nothing had ever felt so good. Nothing had ever felt so much like something he was never supposed to know existed. He needed it. He _wanted_ it.

"Then help me," Itachi suggested softly. Everything smelled like Shisui. Shisui's arm held him across the back. Shisui's lips on him. Shisui's desire telegraphed through every little motion of his body and the heavy hardness in Itachi's hand. Shisui's hand tangling in his with a laugh as Shisui's mouth swallowed Itachi's mouth and eroded every strand of control with each stroke, each kiss, each pull of their body's together until everything pitched into screaming white noise.

And Itachi lost control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this chapter happened because I'm having plot trouble and it got out of hand. Itachi literally get no nice things. Probably the last smutty interlude. Sorry for the delay in updating. Summer is intensely busy at work and I hit a plot road block in how to get from here to the end. Next chapter is mostly written, at least! Onward to the wonderful happy end!
> 
> THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS. Really, they make my day and keep me writing.


	26. 21. Transition

Shisui would not call what they were living a fairy tale, but it had been an odd sort of almost peace. Eventually Itachi had to go back to ANBU. Eventually, normal life would resume, not this lull they'd tried so hard to make their own. They had to transition to another state and manage to make that work as well. Shisui made sure he kissed Itachi every time he went out the door and usually got a smile through all the anxiety. The small, quirking grin that suggested some wonder at this occurrence every time it happened.

While Shisui still lived in what felt like a state of controlled terror, he realized he had not been fully embracing Itachi and his finer qualities. Or he hadn’t been allowing himself to embrace them. Itachi had changed, yes, but more in action and purpose than in substance. Shisui also engaged Itachi in a different way, aiming to enjoy and collaborate instead of control and support. And there was the added (if sporadic) increase of physical intimacy, but, really, the largest change came from Shisui allowing himself to appreciate Itachi and accept he had very little control over what Itachi chose to do, and that was perfectly all right. 

_What would you have been without all of this?_

Shisui loved Itachi, but he felt they had all been cheated in what the world had made of Itachi. What would he have been without the massacre? That deadly purge that had thrown them into ANBU's hands? What kind of person would Itachi be without that shaping of his person into the monster? If Shisui had not pushed him so hard to _bite down_ and _become the untouchable monster_ , would things be different? Worse? Better? What would it have been like to grow up in the clan together as children and equals instead of dependent prisoners?

While Itachi gave himself back over to ANBU, Shisui did have his own duties to attend to. Prepping Team 7 for the Chuunin exams took most of his time, and Kakashi evidently had an interest in seeing Shisui came back into fighting form last week. After Shisui had exhausted the children, Kakashi exhausted Shisui with exercises and very gentle sparring that half the time Team 7 stuck around to watch. Shisui knew how his body should react, so everything was aimed at discovering the new ways his body did and did not move and what would work and what would not. He fell a lot. Kakashi kindly did not read his orange pornos while Shisui rolled around in the dirt.

"You want me to attend the exams?" Shisui stopped rubbing the sweat from his face.

"Team 7 wanted me to make sure you were allowed to go, since you're their 'real' teacher," Kakashi seemed amused by this.

"And you think that's a good idea?" Shisui still didn't know where he stood with Kakashi. The man had always been annoying, and he'd been ANBU. He'd been Itachi captain, and Shisui had some idea of how ANBU controlled his cousin in the field. He knew Kakashi had taken part in at least a fraction of that punishment. He doubted there had been vindictiveness involved, but that did not completely make up for anything.

"I will also be there," Kakashi said.

"Oh, wait, this is a 'for my own protection' thing, isn't it? If I'm glued to you in the thick of things, it won't be so easy for someone to snatch my eyeballs with all the foreign parties running around loose," Shisui realized. "Got it. I was starting to think you liked me."

"It's less that I like you, and more that I..." Kakashi stopped. "Have you two picked an official designation?"

Shisui felt his face flush. "Pick one yourself. I'm sure everyone else has," Shisui muttered as he rested on his good leg. The real one. His entire body seemed to ache over the loss of that leg. His mind suffered from it to. There had been at least three screaming nightmares where he'd dreamed the white faced horror was cutting his leg up with blunt scissors.

Kakashi seemed to consider Shisui for too long before he shrugged. "Itachi will be occupied in ANBU, and there will be an added security burden..."

"He asked you to watch out for me?" Shisui asked. "Or did the Hokage?" 

"Or was it Naruto? He is also very concerned about your welfare," Kakashi mused as he pulled out his orange book. Shisui took that to mean serious discussion had stopped and he would never know the truth of the matter. Shisui snorted, sitting to complete the stretching routine he'd been given. His hips and lower back and groin had suffered serious changes in flexibility. In some ways this made him glad Itachi did not expect complicated positions.

"Do you think they can pass?" Shisui asked as he folded himself forward. He listened to Kakashi's silence. It stretched better than Shisui did.

"They have a better chance after you taught them...but that isn't a good thing," Kakashi said.

Shisui twisted to look at him. "Why not?"

"They may be skilled enough to pass the exam, but they're not emotionally prepared for being responsible for their own lives, much less someone else's," Kakashi looked over the lurid cover of his book for a few moments before he looked back down. "The exam itself would be a valuable experience but passing it would end up with several of them dead in two years."

"Sakura and Sasuke aren't war kids, but they're learning quickly. Sasuke's also an Uchiha." Shisui wanted to bite off his tongue as soon as he said it. "Naruto has dumb luck on his side."

Kakashi considered this for a while as Shisui stretched again. Shisui felt compelled to add: "I think they'll be okay." Kakashi didn't comment on that.

"When I was told you were going to be sent to train Team 7, I thought you were supposed to kill me, I was supposed to kill you, or we were both going to be taken out," Kakashi said after Shisui had decided the man had said everything he was going to say and just enjoyed watching Shisui suffer.

Shisui jerked up. "Really? Why?"

"I have unfortunate connections to the Uchiha clan," Kakashi admitted, rubbing his covered cheekbone. The man had nice cheekbones. The man had a nice face under that mask and everyone knew it. Shisui would have been more interested if Kakashi had never been ANBU. "And I have always suspected Sasuke and Naruto being on the same team to be more than an unfortunate coincidence."

"Aren't you chatty." Shisui felt nervous. Too much chatter. Too much talk. What did it mean. What kind of trap was this? Shisui tried to squelch the paranoia. "So why did you get me?"

"I'm not sure, but I think it's likely to have a firmer hold on Itachi--not that it seems to be working," Kakashi admitted. "In case it was thought other trees would have nicer fruit."

Shisui considered this. He had considered this. He knew he was never allowed outside of Konoha at the same time as Itachi because it was assumed they would leave. He also considered that this might have all been because Shisui was literally now the only person in Konoha with any experience teaching someone with the Sharingan how to use it. It could just be something to make them paranoid with no substance. It could be Kakashi had orders to kill Shisui today. Or tomorrow. Or next time ANBU thought they had Itachi under control.

"Itachi would absolutely destroy everything in these walls," Shisui stared Kakashi's one eye down. The thought frightened him. Itachi, with his small hands and soft skin, who kissed like an innocent and gasped Shisui's name with _perfect_ tenderness, could destroy a village for him. Shisui swallowed. Itachi would die in the process, but he would make everyone else suffer along with him.

"I think we proved that--and that he has the skills to do it," Kakashi added. Itachi had been vicious in their fight, but he had also shown off. Itachi out to kill would be faster, silent, and unstoppable. No, someone would stop him, but only when Itachi had done what he set out to do.

"I know you don't like me, but after everything, you can start to trust me." The rebuke was mild.

"Very few people _like_ you. You're an annoying enigma wrapped in cheap sex appeal," Shisui replied. He more often let his mocking teacher tone slip in around Kakashi. He defended himself from this man the same way he defended himself from Team 7. He didn’t want them too close. He didn’t want to think too fondly of them.

"It's because I was Itachi's ANBU captain," Kakashi went on, ignoring Shisui's grousing. "Every time you look at me I see you asking yourself what I did to him and hating both of us for everything ANBU has put Itachi through."

Shisui had gone perfectly still. He watched Kakashi. He really _watched_ him and felt every single ache and pain and vulnerability. He could not beat this man right now. He could not take him out. He had to trust. Kakashi had been _ANBU_. ANBU could _never_ be trusted.

"What would it have taken to get you to try to kill me?" Kakashi mused on. "What would ANBU have to hint I did to Itachi to push you to that?"

Shisui thought of Itachi's panic. He thought of how, even in good times, even doing as he wanted, Itachi balanced between control and terror. Letting go meant falling into a panic. Feeling deeply meant feeling afraid. He thought about all his nagging doubts that maybe there was something more to Itachi's responses to sex. Maybe something had happened. Maybe _someone._

Shisui breathed out. "I'm not Itachi. I am the sweet little lap dog. He's the wolf that goes for people's throats."

Kakashi's eye smiled. "That sounds exactly what someone who was trying to get me to drop my guard would say."

"You see? That's why I don't like you." Shisui rolled as smoothly to his feet as he could manage. Kakashi watched him slowly catch his balance.

"Thanks," Shisui added. "For being on our side."

"There are no sides," Kakashi said to his book. "Only what's best for Konoha." And that made Shisui really want to puke.  
~  
Itachi did not come to see Shisui when he came in. He went to the bathroom. Shisui woke up when Itachi opened the door, and he considered going back to sleep. Itachi would come to bed when he was ready. Still, Shisui laid awake , senses strained to hear Itachi in the house.

The weather had gotten warmer. Shisui had started sleeping just in loose pants since Itachi always slept close as a second skin. Sleeping stripped down had the double benefit of not being so hot and the skin contact. It still made him feel exposed, but he had started to get comfortable with it. Shisui counted silently as he waited for Itachi to begin rattling through the kitchen, but he didn’t. Shisui had fully woken up, and decided he should check on Itachi.

Shisui left his leg where he's stowed it for the night and grabbed his crutch. Itachi wasn't in the main area, but the bathroom light was on and the door cracked. Shisui peered around the door with less hesitation than he’d had months ago. Itachi sat in the small tub, his nose barely above the water. His eyes barely flickered to Shisui. Shisui leaned against the doorframe and looked at Itachi. Watched him. Dissected his movements and stillness. Itachi soaked in the tub when something troubled him, usually after a long or dirty mission after he had scrubbed himself nearly raw. After he soaked would come the ritual of wound cleaning and catch-up with Shisui, carefully not-touching as much as possible.

Shisui waited until Itachi seemed to focus on him instead of just noticing he was in the room. Shisui could see that Itachi had locked back down as he usually did after missions. He pulled back into safe containment, and he didn't come out of that instantly or easily. Shisui never had either.

"Do you want company?" Shisui finally asked. Itachi shrugged, shoulders humping up above the water. Shisui opened the door and slid in, taking a seat on the edge of the tub. He leaned his crutch against the wall before dangling his fingers in the water. Itachi had it almost burning hot. Itachi blinked slowly, eyes almost glassy, body loose. Forced relaxation? Exhaustion? Poison? A drug? Shisui waited.

Finally, Itachi moved. His fingers brushed Shisui's. The water soaked pads still rough as Itachi shifted them over Shisui’s skin. He lifted his head more, pushing wet strands of hair from his face.

"I didn't mean to wake you." The words were slow and whisper soft. They made Shisui look at the ragged scar on Itachi’s throat.

Shisui skimmed his fingers against Itachi's. "You wanted to skulk in the bathroom all by yourself?"

Itachi barely smiled in response. Fingers skimmed back, curling in a possible invitation. "I wasn't really thinking that--or anything. You need your sleep." Shisui sifted as his loose pants leg fell into the bath. He stared at it. Itachi did too, and then he leaned forward enough to tug on it.

"Help, a water spirit is trying to seduce me and drown me." Shisui mock whispered.

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "In this tiny bath tub?"

"I have the utmost faith in your ability," Shisui smiled. Itachi kept the wet cloth clenched in his hand. He didn’t smile, but his expression softened. "...do you want company? I can go make you something to eat or tea or something."

Itachi barely caught the corner of his mouth with his teeth.

" _Just_ company. Nothing else. Kakashi spent the afternoon knocking me on my ass. I'm exhausted," Shisui held up his hands in surrender. 

"Poor darling," Itachi drawled the words a little, and then nodded so slightly it took Shisui time to catch it.

"Just for that, I'm not making this a sexy strip tease," Shisui chastised. Itachi smiled a fraction now, eyes closing, breathing slowly as Shisui awkwardly wriggled out of his pants.

"You have more scars than I do." 

Shisui looked down at the motley collection. There were about half and half from "friend" and foe. Some he remembered gaining clearly. Some he had no idea where they had come from. "I'm not you. I'm not as good as you--didn't you say that to my kids not so long ago?"

"You're not that much worse than I am," Itachi pointed out.

"Mmm, but I do a lot of high velocity close quarter fighting," Shisui slowly lowered himself into the boiling water, trying to ignore how Itachi's eyes memorized the movements--the lines. Shisui did the same thing to Itachi's body and movements. In Shisui's defense, Itachi was prettier than Shisui and just about everything he did came off as elegant. Shisui moved like nothing special.

"Maybe you're just careless," Itachi murmured. He sounded exhausted.

"Maybe..." Shisui admitted. He had never been careful with his body, only his actions. His emotions and his image, but his welfare? He didn't care about that. He still didn't care about it except in relation to Itachi. He had to stay well for Itachi. For a time that hadn't even mattered. Shisui had been running himself into the ground with injury, drink, and fucking strangers who cared less about Shisui's welfare than he did.

And Itachi would look at Shisui's hollow, bruised face when they crossed path and ask so very softly if Shisui were well. Shisui never went out when Itachi was in Konoha, but Itachi had been the glorious baby ANBU monster, and hadn't been in Konoha much. ANBU had been trying to run him into the ground. It had been a race, and Shisui would have won. He still didn't have a clear turning point he could recall. It had been equal parts Anko, Itachi, growing older, and . . .

Had it been falling for Itachi? Had it been going from not knowing what he wanted to even subconsciously wanting something specific? Wanting Itachi? Their dynamic had begun shifting after Itachi joined ANBU, and Itachi had begun pulling Shisui up just as much as Shisui pulled Itachi up. Shisui studied Itachi, remembering that child's concern for Shisui's self-destruction.

“Have I ever said you’re beautiful?” Shisui asked, earning himself a surprised widening of Itachi’s eyes when they opened.

“…mockingly, perhaps.” Itachi barely put his lips higher than the water.

“You are,” Shisui said, deciding to commit to this. “Breathtakingly elegant and beautiful and I’d tell you that every morning but you’d probably toss me out a window.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Itachi murmured.

“And ugly?”

Itachi quirked his eyebrows. “Do you still think I find you unattractive?”

“You do see your face every day, so I’m assuming you have high standards,” Shisui mused, rubbing his chin.

Itachi shook his head, acknowledging how ridiculous Shisui was being. “I like your curls, and the way you smile, and…” The pause stretched on. “Your hands. Is that enough or do I need to keep going.”

“I’ll take pity on you.” Shisui had been trying to make Itachi smile. "You look awful.” Itachi cracked an eye back open. He stared at Shisui.

"I am awful."

"Don't insult my boyfriend," Shisui threatened, but his face went hot as soon as he said the word. Somehow, that was worse than giving Itachi a blowjob had been for fluster or teasing him about their looks. _Boyfriend_ sounded so casual and flippant.

"You have bad taste." Itachi braced a foot on Shisui's shin. "...I think I like partner better."

Shisui sat up a little, surprised Itachi had a preference. "Really?"

Itachi nodded. "It lacks specificity, but I like it better than boyfriend."

"Lover?" Shisui suggested, mostly to get a blush. He got it. He smiled and touched Itachi's ankle. "Okay, _partner._ " It was a safe word. 

"Lover sounds..." Itachi puffed out his cheeks. "..temporary. Anko was your lover. I'm..."

"Itachi," Shisui filled in as Itachi paused. " _My_ Itachi, not ANBU's monster, or dog Itachi, but Shisui's Itachi." The Itachi who liked flowers and sweets and drank coffee in the morning and smiled gently. The Itachi who could have been and almost was. The Itachi Shisui would push like hell to exist.

Itachi smiled slowly. "I don't think there's a word for that."

"We'll make partner the substitute," Shisui shrugged. He rubbed Itachi's ankle and then slid up to his foot. Itachi looked contemplative. Soft under the haggard exterior ANBU had been pounding away at. Shisui wanted to kiss him, but he contented himself with slowly rubbing Itachi's foot until Itachi slid his other foot to Shisui. Shisui grinned.

"What's better, foot rub or a blow job?" Shisui shifted and leaned against the side of the tub.

"Feet," Itachi replied without a pause. He sighed and leaned his head back. "...sooner or later they'll put me back to running missions. They just want to make a point."

And what could ANBU make Itachi do that would be the worse possible assignment for him and keep him inside Konoha?

"On the bright side, I have finally found something I'm terrible at, so eventually that will win out over their spite," Itachi stared up at the ceiling.

Shisui's stomach clenched and turned over. "I didn't think I could hate them more."

"And I never said anything to you about that, if anyone asks," Itachi added. "Did you land a hit on Kakashi today?"

"Mmm, no." Shisui scowled. "We did discuss which one of us three was supposed to end up killing the other and for what reason."

Itachi's faced twitched oddly.

"Because of Sasuke--" Shisui stopped.

"I know who Sasuke is. ANBU's been making me write him notes for years," Itachi sighed, sinking deeper into the water. "I still don't know why, but he's probably figured out we’re brothers by now. Everyone likely has."

"Really?' Shisui couldn't hide his shock. He'd assumed Itachi knew who Sauske was, but he had thought ANBU wouldn't want them to associate at all. Sasuke was their legitimate clean slate with the Uchiha. "Do you know why I'm teaching him?"

Itachi shook his head. "I assumed it was so they'd have two "hostages" or to get you closer to Sasuke than to me. Maybe they wanted to see if you'd try to groom him to start an uprising."

"Yes, me, who wouldn't even admit I wanted you was going to start an uprising," Shisui scoffed. "With a twelve year-old."

"Retrospectively, I think it's really because you are the only person with knowledge of how to teach the Sharingan who isn't half crazy," Itachi added. "And you taught me when I was in danger of constant so you have to be a good teacher."

"Sasuke isn't always in fear for his life, so he's been a much easier student than you ever were." The hot water had begun to relax Shisui again. "Do you think you should actually talk to him?"

Itachi shook his head. "I don't want to show any overt interest right now. Maybe after things are more settled I'll think about it, but not now."

Shisui rubbed his thumbs into the arch of Itachi's foot. "Are you afraid of what he might say?"

"I'm not sure what I would say. We happened to be born to the same parents. I knew him as an infant before our clan was cut down on rumors. That doesn't give us much in common," Itachi pointed out. He also seemed more relaxed.

“I think it would mean a lot to him if you did speak to him,” Shisui added. “Eventually.”

“Maybe one day,” Itachi hedged. Shisui decided today he would not push. Itachi had spent today in the bowels of ANBU headquarters, and Shisui would not interrogate him.

Shisui shook his head. "Do you have any other dramatic secrets to share?"

A few heavy seconds. Itachi withdrew his feet. Shisui looked over at Itachi, who sank down into the water. His eyes were dark, and the look that skimmed over the water to Shisui flashed feral. Shisui managed to stay loose. His pulse jumped.

"Just..." Itachi lifted his head. "...trust me. I can't explain everything yet, but I promise I will take care of you." His dark eyes bore into Shisui hard and hot and Shisui felt some panic rising. “No matter what happens, or what they do, I won’t let them have you again.”

Shisui took his time to think about it. He took time to calculate how far that trust would god before he pulled his hand back from the flame. "I trust you."

Itachi's smiled like he wanted to be sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A nice gentle chapter to signify the passage of time and grow some false hope. :D


	27. 22. Reasonable Expectations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for how late this is! August and September were awful months, so by the time I had time to write I had to re-read everything so I could make sure I had my plans in order. On the positive side I will be posting some slightly better edited versions of earlier chapters at some point. Why did you guys stick it out through all my awkward phrases and word errors? Why?
> 
> This chapter also had to be rewritten twice, I cut/moved three scenes out of it for hopefully later in the story. On the plus side that means I hopefully have entire scenes already written for other chapters?

"Does doing random domestic things stress you out too?" Shisui asked Itachi as he finished drying the breakfast dishes. Itachi had just finished another cup of coffee. His movements were slower than Shisui was used to. His eyes seemed heavier, and any time Shisui woke in the night, Itachi was also awake.

"Sometimes," Itachi said. He sat on the counter, rubbing his hands together. No, he was picking at his nails and callouses. Shisui reached out and wrapped his towel around one of Itachi's hands.

"Hey."

Itachi stopped, looking up at Shisui. He smiled just a fraction. "What?"

"Don't pick your fingernails off," Shisui chastised, squeezing Itachi's hand. He added a kiss to Itachi's cheek. Itachi turned his face into Shisui's, resting their cheeks together with a deep sigh.

"I keep smelling blood on them," Itachi admitted softly to Shisui's ear. Shisui felt the soft silk of Itachi's hair pressed into his face. Shisui slipped closer to slide his arms around Itachi's back. Itachi leaned in, pressing his face into Shisui's neck. Shisui gave Itachi a little squeeze. Itachi made a soft noise at the compression.

"Mmmff."

"I love you, and you don't smell like blood." Shisui tapped his fingers on Itachi's spine. The stillness of the moment seemed precious. This moment seemed mundane and human and Shisui craved this kind of contact. This odd affirmation of their humanity. The sex was an electrifying liberation of senses, but this was a more basic, comforting thing Shisui had been denied most of his life.

Itachi made a soft noise. "What are you doing today?"

"Not much. Kakashi's doing exam stuff, so I'll just stay here today. Laze around. Hope Team 7 doesn't figure out where I live." Shisui stopped as Itachi nuzzled into his neck. His lips moved, threatening Shisui's neck with the slightest bit of teeth. Instead Itachi kissed Shisui's neck, the dry press of slightly chapped lips before Itachi's forehead leaned down to rest on Shisui's shoulder.

It broke Shisui's heart to _feel_ this exhaustion in Itachi. He wanted to somehow lift the burdens from Itachi and let him sleep peacefully for once. He wanted days for them to do nothing but be together in peace. A laughable wish, because when had they ever been allowed any peace, but he wanted to see Itachi care free and young as his years. Shisui held Itachi a little tighter. Itachi sighed.

"I have to leave," Itachi said with reluctance.

"Okay..." Shisui still held on. He kissed the top of Itachi's head. He lived in the moment of Itachi, lax against him, breathing deeply and gently against his skin. Itachi's lips curved against Shisui's skin. 

"Meaning you have to let me go," Itachi prompted, not seeming in any hurry to move away. His words curved slow and warm against Shisui’s skin. Shisui loved the softness of them.

"You encouraged this. Now you have to deal with the clinging consequences," Shisui insisted, but pulled back. Itachi slid off the counter and accepted a gentle kiss on the lips before he pushed Shisui back and went to grab his face mask and other essentials. Shisui picked a few hard candies out of drawer and met Itachi at the door, putting the candies in Itachi's pocket.

"To remember me by," Shisui grinned. Itachi's face stayed lined with exhaustion, but he drank in Shisui's playfulness with a light smile.

"Do you think I'm in danger of forgetting you?" Itachi quirked an eyebrow.

"The good parts, maybe." Shisui hooked his fingers lightly in Itachi's pockets. He kissed the tip of Itachi's nose. Itachi leaned his forehead into Shisui's.

"Do you ever get tired of being so gentle with me?" Itachi asked, pushing his hands against Shisui's to link their fingers together. 

"Mmm, not with you. I'm very sure that's part of what being in love is about--for me, anyway." Shisui pulled their hands up and kissed Itachi's knuckles. Itachi seemed absorb every playful word and motion, storing it up to pull out slowly during the day of peeling off people's finger nails.

"Am I not gentle with you?" Itachi asked. They were just stalling for time now. 

"Exquisitely," Shisui promised. "But more than that you try to do what's best for me--which is not always what I would think of as gentle." Itachi made a soft noise at the back of his throat at that, and then leaned his head to kiss Shisui softly once more. 

"Is that what I'm doing?" Itachi cocked his head, and Shisui wanted nothing more than to bundle Itachi back to bed and sleep the morning away. Itachi needed it. They needed it.

"I feel very well cared for, so I assume so."

Itachi smiled a little more. Shisui kissed Itachi again, moving to cup the back of his head for a firmer angle. He let the kiss linger. Let it grow as Itachi pushed into Shisui with a growing confidence and knowledge of _this is how I like to kiss Shisui_. Finally, Itachi pulled back, and Shisui pulled Itachi back in for a brief hug.

"See you tonight."

Itachi hugged Shisui back. "Tonight." With reluctance, and one more kiss, Shisui let Itachi slip out the door, leaving him alone in the small, dim apartment.

“I guess,” Shisui said to himself after a full minute of standing in the quiet. “I can clean.”  
~  
After Itachi left for the day, Shisui expected to spend his final day before the Chuunin exams resting. He might see if he could find Team 7 and give them a final pep talk. Really, he wanted to hold onto the worn, warm feeling of this morning. He had a constant ache inside of him at the thought of Itachi’s exhaustion, but there had also been a real joy to the morning.

Instead, not long after Itachi had left, Shisui opened the door on Genma and Raidou, who were serious in their crisp uniforms. Genma rolled a senbon between his teeth. "The Hokage wants to see you."

Shisui blinked. His mind did something like a back bend. " _What._ "

"The Hokage wants to talk to you, probably to check in on your ridiculously talented and possibly psychotic boyfriend," Raidou said from the side.

"First, he's not psychotic, second, do I really have to?" Shisui couldn't keep the begging tone out of his voice. Genma and Raidou gave Shisui looks he remembered clearly from when they had been the ANBU escorting a much younger Shisui and Itachi around. It meant this was not a time to whine and fuss. Just like an ANBU summons, having tea with Hokage was evidently not optional. Shisui found himself in front of the old man's doors within the hour. No ANBU were present. They had all been pulled to secure the village for the upcoming exams, and the Hokage had a select gaurd of Jounin and Special Jounin guarding him instead.

"I feel so special," Shisui muttered as he realized Genma and Raidou had gone from guarding him and Itachi to guarding the Hokage.

"Don't," Raidou suggested as they waited for permission to enter the room. “We’re just here because we’re expendable.” Shisui's hands had gone past sweaty to clammy. He kept trying to default to wondering what Itachi might have done to land Shisui here. He shouldn’t think that way anymore. Shisui was coming to see how Itachi’s actions had been made increasingly important by ANBU. They had weaponized Itachi’s genius against him, holding him to a ridiculous standard, and because Itachi could see he was a genius (his family had always praised him for that) he thought that ridiculous standard might be attainable. Itachi had pushed for unattainable perfection and hit it, but ANBU still found ways to say Itachi was fractured and flawed and _wrong._

Even now weren’t they playing the same game, just with different rules? If Itachi could play perfectly enough, finally be _good_ enough, ANBU would have to leave him alone? The particulars had shifted and Itachi had expanded the playing field, but the basic paradigm remained. Everything rested on Itachi making all the right plays. Even if he did, he would lose. ANBU would win by changing the rules or breaking their own rules, and Itachi _knew_ they did that, but the mantra instilled in them in the ANBU holding cells went on. Itachi still did his best to beat them at every turn.

 _It’s time to pull your own weight._ Shisui thought to himself with the image of Itachi’s dark eyes in the tub came to mind paired with the exhaustion of the morning and his hands compulsively picking at each other. Shisui squared his shoulders and walked into the room. The Hokage sat behind his giant desk. Shisui had seen the man once at his Academy graduation, but that memory came only hazily to mind. Shisui wished Itachi were here. He feared making a misstep in Itachi's convoluted play, because Shisui _did_ think Itachi was good enough to pull this off on his own. 

"Shisui-kun, I apologize for the short notice, but I wanted to speak to you before the exams started," The Hokage set a few papers aside. He had a rich, if rough voice that made one think of a genial grandfather. He had tea set out already. Lovely. Shisui stood stiffly, feeling frozen.

"You can leave us." This to the guard on the inside of the doors. Shisui didn't know them, but they trooped out without a backwards glance. Shisui turned watched them go, and then jerked back around. Turning his back on the Hokage probably wasn't a good idea. 

"That was much easier than getting my ANBU guards to leave when Itachi was in here," The Hokage actually chuckled. Shisui wanted to ask if he were senile. He had been Hokage for a while. Why had he never picked a successor since the Yondaime's death? He had already retired once. Surely retiring again wouldn't be that hard. Had he not found a worthy successor in all those years? Did he not want to relinquish the power again? Did he fear another tragedy if he did?

"I _am_ a cripple now," Shisui said slowly. They both knew Shisui had never been a threat on level with Itachi, even before that. He had always been the _good_ Dog with just enough bite to be useful. The Hokage settled his sharp eyes on Shisui. Old age hadn't worn him down, it seemed. Not noticeably in the cutting nature of his eyes. Shisui forced himself to smile affably. He still had to play the game. He would always have to play this game, wouldn’t he? He would always have to be the smiling Dog for these people.

"And Itachi has always been more intimidating than me. In comparison..." Shisui indicated himself with his hands. "I was always a bit disappointing even before I misplaced my leg. I'm not much to be scared of now." With relief, Shisui found himself sliding into the right tones and cadence. Here he was, humble, goofy, shame faced dog ready to grovel and beat his tail apologetically on the floor for his masters.

"I doubt that. You were part of the Uchiha clan, after all, and one does not have to be on Itachi's level to be a threat," The Hokage smiled amiable. "Have a seat. There's tea if you would like some."

Shisui gingerly walked forward and sat down. He moved stiffly on the prosthetic still, not certain how to get the correct responses from it. It resisted him constantly, and he couldn't trust his weight to it without hesitation. "Thank you. I admit, I don't know what I did to deserve such an honor as this. I didn't even have to break in," Shisui smiled.

"My discussion with Itachi proved that ANBU will tell me what it wants about the Uchiha that are left. I thought I should get to know the second half of my most troublesome duo of shinobi for myself instead of relying on what people were reporting and whispering," Sarutobi didn't quite smile. Shisui's stomach turned at this casual claiming of Itachi and Shisui. _His_ most troublesome duo? They were ANBU's if they belonged to anyone, and Itachi had begun making his claims they belonged to no one but each other. Shisui swallowed the feeling boiling up inside his chest.

Shisui smiled a little, smaller and rueful. "Unlike Itachi, I'm not very surprising. What you've heard is likely accurate--discounting some of the more slanderous rumors. I'm just trying to stay out of Itachi's way here. He's had enough of my 'help.'" Enough of everyone’s help. 

The Hokage poured Shisui a cup of tea and offered it to him. Shisui took it slowly as the old man poured himself a fresh cup of tea before sitting back. Shisui felt the actions creating a purposeful pause meant to put pressure on him. Press him down. Squeeze his intentions into a tighter mass in his chest that would make them easier to distill and expel into the air. Shisui sipped his tea.

_You are no better than any of them, Hokage-sama._

"You are very good at playing yourself down. With Itachi, it's impossible to ignore him, and he has never tried to hide what he is," The Hokage went on after Shisui didn't break. His gaze didn't waver from Shisui. "Admittedly ANBU neglected to mention his intelligence, but he never attempted to hide it. They simply chose to think they were smarter than he is."

Shisui tasted bile in his mouth. "I'm not Itachi. I'm not terribly clever or talented, so I could avoid notice as Itachi couldn't. That's the ideal if you're a Dog--don't be noticed."

"You do get noticed," the Hokage continued. "ANBU noticed you as a way to keep Itachi in line. Everyone who has worked with you noticed you were polite and deferential. People you drink with notice you're amiable and 'know your place'. Your lovers seem to find you have the same taste as them. Your gennin team noticed you were a good teacher. You have a talent for being what people want you to be in whatever situation you find yourself in.”

Shisui felt the unspoken "especially now; especially for Itachi." Shisui felt the unfairness of the attack bubble up in his chest. He felt something essential constrict in his chest. He felt _outrage_ that the Hokage would attempt to paint his own meaning on something that was private and personal between Itachi and Shisui. The _implication_ that manipulation must factor in to the relationship.

For once Shisui didn't try for any expression. He let his face slide into blankness. A void of expression Itachi had perfected after seeing Shisui's fingers broken for his transgressions. "And what do you need me to be for you, Hokage-sama?" Shisui inquired with exquisitely faked politeness, letting his face slowly and obviously transform into an almost bubbly expression. 

"Itachi's keeper, perhaps? Sasuke's cautionary tale? Or am I to be a subtle threat to them both? You have neatly consolidated the heir and spare's interests in one person, although Sasuke is not overly fond of me." Shisui hit the tone he used to use for older men who enjoyed lording it over boys. People who liked to be in control, and often who liked to use that control to _hurt_.

Shisui paused, letting his face and posture shift back to the blank nothing. The Hokage simply watched. He evaluated. He judged. Shisui judged back. He found this mountain of a man hollow and lacking. This time Shisui didn’t wait.

He leaned forward. "Do you know what I have a talent for, Hokage-sama? Surviving. Keeping myself and Itachi alive. If I have to bow my head and pretend I'm inferior or promise to keep Itachi in place, I will do that. ANBU's abuse has been just structured enough to teach me how to mind my manners and superiors very nicely, thank you. You learn to read what's wanted from you or suffer, and then you play that role to the hilt until it kills you, and everyone wants something different from you. That is the life of the Dogs. That was our role. To kill ourselves in mind and body so ANBU wouldn't have to sully their hands with our shit more than necessary. So they could feel _superior_ as we died out one by one and congratulate themselves on how right they were about our squalid character. And because we wanted to die _later_ rather than _now_ we became what everyone wanted to see."

Shisui felt lightheaded. He felt furious and angry and he'd never wanted to kill someone as much as he wanted to right now. 

"The purpose of the Dogs was to be hated to give the children a chance to live without the taint of what their parents had done." Shisui heard every one of the Hokage's years in that statement. It barely cooled Shisui’s anger. Hell, he had always known the Dogs were here to be blamed and hated, but that had never been right. It had never been justifiable. It was an _excuse_ , not a reason.

"Their parents didn't do anything," Shisui protested. “The Dogs are scapegoats for some bigger political play.” The Hokage took his time lighting his pipe. He breathed in the smoke and let it trail out of his mouth. Shisui should take up smoking. Why had he never had that as a vice?

"I will be honest. It's now impossible to determine if the Uchiha had anything to do with the Yondaime's death and the Kyuubi attack. I don't even know where the first rumors or intelligence came from--whatever they were. The accusation grew so swiftly it couldn't be countered or combated effectively."

"So you sacrificed an entire clan because some rumors got out of control?" 

"I was not Hokage when those plans were made." The man shed the blame so easily, but the Hokage was here to be a symbol. He was a figurehead on a mountain to speak at graduations and political meetings. Shisui had lived with the real power of Konoha all his life, hadn’t he?

"The point I am making is that you and I have no chance of proving or disproving anything on the Uchiha's innocence or guilt. Konoha and the world have accepted the Uchiha’s guilt, and there is no proof that could change their minds," The Hokage reasoned. “If you make that a goal, you will never achieve it.”

"Let’s also consider what would you have to do to ANBU if it came out they had executed a clan and then tortured the remaining members on their own authority?" Shisui asked very softly. He saw the point the Hokage was making, but he remembered the “cleansing” had left the other clans uneasy at first. The Hokage did not answer, which was answer enough. If ANBU had done wrong or acted in haste, it would not be rectified. The truth would remain whatever ANBU claimed. Nothing could change.

"You'll give us back to ANBU," Shisui guessed. "When you're done with whatever power play this is against them."

"No. ANBU would continue to slowly destroy you, and once you were dead. . .you're in a better position to guess what Itachi would do with you gone," The Hokage pointed out. Shisui didn't quite feel relieved. He was also surprised to hear the "you" had not been a plural "you."

"You don't think ANBU is slowly destroying Itachi?" Shisui pressed.

"Yes, but more gradually in the way ANBU destroys most shinobi in it. Itachi, I believe, can balance and survive ANBU if your well being isn't on the line. He'll have his victory and his prize. That will be more than enough for him for now," The Hokage decided. Shisui wanted to sneer. What did this man know about Itachi? What did he understand about _balancing_ and _surviving_ ANBU?

And, yet, Itachi would survive ANBU longer than Shisui would. Itachi had been formed into a more resilient creature than Shisui. He had a knack for all of this, as his recent exploits had revealed. Shisui had been dying out. Spluttering. His life had only been worth living for Itachi's sake. It was still only worth living for Itachi’s sake.

"So I get to be free, granted free and trapped in Konoha, and Itachi continues to serve under ANBU until...when? I'm not taking my freedom at the expense of Itachi's," Shisui insisted.

"ANBU is the only place for someone like Itachi."

"And what do you mean by that?" Shisui asked, icy politeness creeping into his tone. He mentally dared the man to call Itachi a monster.

"His skill level, for one. While ANBU has been his jail, it is also the only life Itachi has ever known. He may hate it, but he knows it. He can function in it and flourish despite everything," The Hokage put down his tea and looked at Shisui. "How would he fare as a normal, everyday shinobi? How would he handle being in public or in crowded office buildings around shinobi of every skill level from academy student to Jounin?"

Shisui did not want to acknowledge this. He wanted to say Itachi would be fine. Itachi would find a way to cope, but would he? In ANBU's halls he wouldn't have the random hateful encounters Shisui did. He wouldn't have to apologize and soothe people's ego's. In ANBU, Itachi only had to look at someone with his cold face and they would fall away. They _understood_ what he was there and in small, dark ways they respected that. He was a monster, but he was _their_ monster.

Given time, and maybe in another village, Itachi could change that. He would adapt. It might even happen in Konoha given enough time, but, Shisui had to admit, ANBU might be the right place for Itachi right now.

"They have him in T&I torturing people," Shisui added, unwilling to drop the point.

"It's not safe for him to be out on missions at the moment, and he isn't qualified to assist with security of the village. In a few months he will be back to running missions," The Hokage assured Shisui. Shisui, somehow, didn't feel reassured. He knew ANBU had a more sinister purpose, and he knew how this stint in T&I would eat into Itachi like nothing else.

"Is that your plan for us? Itachi stays in ANBU as their perfect little monster, and I stay here and play the good house wife and hostage?" Shisui asked.

"Is there something else you want?" The Hokage asked. A few months ago Shisui would not have had anything to say to that. He would have shaken his head and been glad for this much. What else could he want? To be normal? To be free? To leave Konoha and start over somewhere else?

The truth was Shisui had no idea what he wanted any more, and he had even less an idea of how to get it. He had his immediate needs: don't hurt Itachi, don't die, don't get killed. He wanted to go home tonight and sleep in the same bed as Itachi. He wanted Itachi happy, but what did he really want to do from here on out besides survive and not be miserable? What did them being happy look like? What would it take?

"No." Shisui admitted. "This is more than I ever hoped to have." But that did not make it _enough._

The Hokage nodded. Shisui had to look at his hands to keep his expression blank. 

“You asked me what I wanted you to be, Shisui. I want you to be a moderating influence for your cousin. Make a life worth living for yourselves, but keep the realities of the world in mind,” The Hokage said, and Shisui felt the noose tighten. He heard the faceless woman whispering in his mind. Telling him what a clever, mature, _reasonable_ child he was and how he _must_ see how they needed to control Itachi. He saw that small head with its half healed scar, messy chopped hair, huge eyes, silence like a damning curse.

Shisui lifted his head and he smiled. “Of course, Hokage-sama. I apologize for my outburst. The past few weeks have been stressful.” The Hokage nodded. Shisui heard his own soft reply in his ears and felt the bear trap close again around his leg. In Konoha, in these walls, they were never going to be free. They would always be this villages Dog’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Chapter? Happy Chapter!
> 
> We have about five chapters left. My goal is to get there before the end of the year. You guys are awesome. <3


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